For the first time in all of these years I realized that maybe he was as attached to me back then as I had been to him. I had let myself believe that he couldn’t have been feeling the same things that I was…I had even almost talked myself into believing that he only wanted me for sex. It was a devastating thought, but I honestly thought if he loved me the way I did him that he would have begged me to stay.
“I wanted you to ask me to stay…” I said, so softly that even I wasn’t so sure I said it. He reached out and took my right hand in his warm hand. That simple touch caused something deep inside me to tremble. I wanted him to touch me all over, but I felt that need again to protect myself. I pulled my hand loose and wrapped my arms around my body in a protective shield. It was better this way.
He started to reach out again but then he pulled back and ran a hand through his thick black hair.
“I should have Cami. I should have paid more attention. I should have begged you to stay. I was so busy then, overwhelmed a little bit, actually. My dad had me going non-stop. He was working all three of us so hard. I knew that you were going through crap with your parents though and I should have found more time to be with you. We were so young and I was so stupid.”
“Yeah, you were scary stupid,” I said, quoting his favorite saying from when we were teens. I tried to keep a straight face, but the shocked expression on his made me lose it. I started laughing.
He laughed too as he stepped in closer, hesitatingly. “Can I touch you?”
I nodded and he took my hands in his again and turned me so that our eyes were locked onto each other.
“We’re laughing but it’s really true. I’d have to be the biggest fool there ever was to let you go Cami. I was crazy about you. I was lost without you when you left.”
I felt hot tears filling my eyes. “I felt the same way….and it took me a really long time to get over you…” He put his warm hand against my face again and this time I leaned into it.
He smiled softly and said “You got over me?”
I closed my eyes and tried to fight the tears. Smiling through them I said, “Until the second I saw your face yesterday I thought that I had.”
“I’m not over you, Cami. I grew up with guys whose guns were just another extension of their body. I dealt with murderers, thieves and drug dealers on a daily basis. By the time I was sixteen I’d been in more fights than most guys get into in a lifetime…most of them with guys twice my size and some of them that I wasn’t sure I would survive. But, I have never, ever been as scared as I was when I realized that you were gone. I was lost Cami and that’s the God’s honest truth.”
I reached up and cupped his face with both of my hands. I came up on my toes and pressed my lips to his. At first our kisses were feather light…whisper kisses. But the need burned between us too hot.
With a growl that came from deep inside his chest, he leaned down and possessed my lips. I parted my mouth and tipped my head back allowing his tongue to find mine and then I wrapped my hands around his big neck so I could pull myself up higher and press in deeper. He sucked my tongue into his mouth and ran his teeth along it…I shivered as my whole body came alive with desire.
“My place. Now.”
I didn’t have enough air to speak…so I nodded.
COLIN
I opened the door to my apartment and let Cami step in first. Her pretty skin shimmered in the light that came through the huge windows and her eyes looked more gold than ever. She was wearing a black skirt that hugged her curves on the bottom and a red sleeveless blouse that was cut just low enough to allow me a peek of her cleavage on top. Her slender legs were accentuated by a pair of black heels and as good as she looked in all of that, I couldn’t wait to get her out of it. She takes my breath away.
I slammed the door closed with my foot and took her petite little face in my hands and pulled her in for a kiss. I kissed her deeply, loving how easily she responded. Her tongue swirled around mine until I had to pull back slightly to suck in a breath. The smell of her perfume, so light and feminine ignited the already burning fuse inside of me.
I grabbed her and pushed her shoulders against the wall in the hallway. I kissed her harder and let my hands slide down to her hips. I moved them up, underneath her blouse, my hands shaking as they came into contact with soft, smooth skin. I slid them higher, pushing her bra out of my way.
Still kissing her, I found her right nipple. She moaned into me as I rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. I shuddered as it hardened in my fingers. She was flexing her hips into me as I cupped her entire breast in my hand and realized that she’d definitely filled out since high school.Fuck yes.
I slide my hands back down on her hips and start walking her backwards down the hall as I suck on her throat. I stop halfway and take possession of her mouth again. She sighed into me as my hands reached for the buttons of her blouse. Crazy out of my head with desire, I popped it open. Buttons flew across the hall, slamming into the wall and scattering across the carpet at our feet. She pulled my shirt over me and flung it aside with a smile.
I pushed her bra all the way up as she shrugged out of the blouse. I could hear her breathing heavy as I bent down and closed my mouth over one of her juicy breasts.
I start walking her backwards again as I suckled, finally making it to the bedroom. I pushed open the door and practically pushed the poor girl over my bed.
By that time she had the button and zipper of my jeans undone, releasing my throbbing cock from its tight space. Every nerve in my body was tingling as I took in a deep breath and tried to regain control. I found the zipper of her skirt and nearly tore that open too before I got it unzipped and let it fall to her feet. I know I was moving too fast, but I had to touch her.
I let my fingers run over the front of her thong. Her juices were already flowing, soaked into the thin material and warm to the touch. I clenched my jaw. Fuck.
The ache inside of me was dull and deep in my core. I didn’t just want to be inside of her, I needed it. Adrenaline was surging through me as I ripped down that tiny thong and pushed her back on the bed. I slid it the rest of the way off and then I pressed my lips to her shapely calves as I unbuckled those sexy shoes and slipped them off her slim, sexy feet.
She moaned my name and pulled me closer, her eyes full of longing. I moved back up and slid two fingers inside of her. She moaned out louder and I began moving them in an out of her, thrusting harder and faster as her body shuddered beneath me. I watched us and I swear she had the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.
“I need you now, Cami. Right, fucking now!” She was panting, but she nodded as I mounted her. Not even considering a condom, I fisted my cock and lined up against her slick opening. I teased her with a few strokes before I saw my precum slide onto her. Fuck foreplay. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I thrust deep inside of her with one thick jolt. Her silky walls closed around me and I felt a warm gush of fluid as she came.
“Oh baby…oh fuck! God I missed you! Fuck!”
She was gasping as I thrust harder and faster. Her hands gripped my shoulders, digging into my flesh with her nails. I was on the verge of coming already. I felt like I was fucking sixteen years old again.
“Colin!” She screamed out my name and that was enough to send me over the edge. My movements became frenetic then and she was bringing her hips up to meet mine just as quickly. It was chaos…but it was the sweetest, sexiest chaos I’d ever experienced.
I felt her clamp down on my cock again and then her sexy body went rigid as she let out one last long moan. I slammed into her hard one last time before I let out a loud gasp as I came deep inside of her. Heaven.
I dropped down on top of her still running my hands up and down her sides, reveling in the feel of her soft, warm body. My head was spinning and my nerves were still raw as I struggled to catch my breath. We were a heap of limbs and the sheets she’d pulled apart surrounded us in a mess.
When I brought my head up she smiled a
nd everything inside of me liquefied. I found her lips and kissed her slowly. Her eyes were shining and I could practically see the fire burning behind them.
“You’re so fucking sexy baby. Jesus…I haven’t come that quickly…. since we were kids.”
“Me too,” she said kissing me again. I kissed her eyes and then let my mouth run down the side of her face and across her long, slim neck. I paused to nip and bite at the soft skin just above her collarbone before letting my lips drop down to one of her nipples.
I could feel my cock beginning to grow and harden again already. I wrapped my tongue around her hard nipple and flicked it. Then I sucked it into my mouth and let my teeth scrape across it. She arched her back up and wrapped her fingers in my hair, pulling me into her harder.
I moved over and licked and sucked the other one, letting my hands run over the sexy curves of her hips and sliding them underneath her to feel that sweet, full ass.
Finally, I made it to the top of her mound. The smell of sex was intoxicating and my cock was aching once again. I let my fingers come up and tease her lips apart before leaning forward and sliding my tongue across the nub of her swollen clit. She cried out and once again wrapped her fingers up in my hair and pulled me into her. I pushed my thumb into her as I sucked her clit in between my lips. I let my tongue flick back and forth across it. I could feel her silky thighs trembling and she was making sexy little whimpering noises.
“Oh Colin, please fuck me baby! I need you back inside of me!”
I didn’t argue. I flipped her over and she automatically brought that beautiful ass up. I lined my now rock hard cock up with her slit before taking a cheek in each hand and pushing back into her. She was gripping onto the sheets as I pushed into her hard and deep, my balls feeling heavy.
“Is that what you want baby girl?”
“Oh yeah…harder baby…please Colin!” I felt her contract her muscles and grip down on my cock like a vice. Her whole body was trembling now as she white knuckled the sheets. I buried my cock in her as deep as it would go and felt my balls slap into her again with each thrust. I grabbed ahold of her hips and fell into a rhythm of in and out as her body shuddered and jolted back against me.
“Oh God! I’m coming again baby! Oh fuck!” She convulsed once…twice…three times before I felt her body and the walls of her pussy relax.
Once she’d reached her climax I snapped and began thrusting and pounding into her…mine was coming and fast. I pushed forward and pulled her backwards one last time before unloading inside of her again.
This time when I collapsed down into her it took me longer to catch my breath. I finally got myself under control and slid off of her so that she could breathe as well.
“Wow,” I breathed out. She flipped onto her back and smiled sideways at me. She looked so sexy with her lips bright red and swollen from being kissed and her hair tousled and hanging down over her forehead and sticking to her cheeks.
“Yeah, wow.”
“I mean seriously…fucking wow!”
She giggled. “Yeah…fucking wow.”
I kissed the side of her face. “You’re incredible baby.”
“So are you. It’s a good thing I never forget to take my pills though Mr. Didn’t Even Mention a Condom.”
I laughed. “I think subconsciously I was trying to knock you up. I want you to have my babies, Cami.” I couldn’t believe I’d just said that out loud…but I had. Cami stopped breathing for a few seconds and the room got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I thought she was going to ignore me until she finally spoke.
“We already lost that chance.” My stomach dropped.
CAMILLA
Quickly enough the afterglow was gone and the past came crashing down on top of me. I couldn’t breathe and I had to get out of there. I slid away, looking for my clothes. Colin sat up, looking confused.
“What the fuck just happened Cami?”
I didn’t answer him. I was wondering how I was going to get home in a cab with the buttons ripped off my shirt.
“Camilla!” He never called me that. It shocked me back into the moment and I stood there blinking.
“What’s going on, baby? Are you freaked out about me saying I want babies with you?”
I felt like I was going to throw up. “I can’t do this right now, Colin. I need some air. I can’t breathe.”
The tears had started their slow descent down my face. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about it, but I refused to let myself cry over it anymore. I had cried a river over it back then.
Colin jumped up to meet me. He was standing nude and radiant in front of me looking like a sex god. I know I don’t have the kind of willpower it will take to walk away if he touches me again. I took a step back as he reached for me.
“Fuck, alright!” He puts his palms up. “I won’t touch you, okay? But you need to tell me what the hell just happened here.”
I was sobbing by that point and trying to pull on my still wet panties. “We made a baby already Colin, okay? We made a baby and when I went to tell you, you didn’t act like you gave a shit about me moving or anything else. So I left….”
“We… what?” He looked thoroughly confused now. I suddenly felt bad for him. He didn’t know…No! I wasn’t going to take this on myself, again.
“Yeah, I was pregnant. I told myself that when I went to tell you that I was leaving with my mom, if you were upset and you begged me not to go, that would mean you loved me. Then, I was going to tell you. But you didn’t beg me not to go. Hell, you practically threw me a party and packed my bags.”
“Oh bullshit! You should have told me instead of playing games about it. You shouldn’t have had to test me. You should have just asked me how I felt about it!” His eyes looked shocked and hurt.
“I had no idea how you felt about me. You were a selfish, spoiled, arrogant little boy that was waist deep in your father’s work. What part of that was I supposed to think would make a good father, Colin?”
“Where is the baby Cami? Where is our child?” He scans my face, his eyes filled with pain.
“There is no child, Colin!” I struggle into my skirt and then put on my bra as I sit down on the bed to put on my shoes. Colin grabbed me by my shoulders and stood me back up.
“Get the fuck off of me! Who do you think you are?”
“Me? Who do I think I am? You just drop a bomb like that and now you just leave? What the fuck did you expect?”
He wasn’t hurting me, but his touch made me want to fall into his arms. “Please Colin, let go of me.”
I wanted to sob against his chest. I wanted to cry for our baby with his strong arms wrapped around me. He did as I asked and let go of me, stepping aside for me to get dressed. I cursed the fact that he wasn’t a bigger asshole.
His eyes softened and I could see him physically trying to get himself under control. “Please Cami, tell me what happened.”
I sat back down. My legs were shaking so hard I was afraid I’d fall down. I took a deep, shaky breath and began.
“I found out I was pregnant right before the school year ended. I was so afraid because my parents were fighting all the time and I hardly ever saw you anymore. I’d pretty much blown off all my friends that entire year because of you and work and everything else..”
I felt him sit down next to me on the bed but I didn’t look up. I didn’t stop. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to start again.
“I tried to tell you on the phone once. It was on the tip of my tongue, but you cancelled our date that night because you had to do something for your dad. I was hurt and angry but I had to tell someone. I had a good cry over it and then I went to my mom.”
His hand brushed my back and I could feel the heat coming from his body and flowing into mine.
“I told her that I was pregnant and we both cried. She asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I didn’t feel like I had “choices.” I didn’t want to abort the baby and I could never give up a baby that you and I made for adop
tion. I loved you too much but we were young...”
“Oh Cami. I’m…”
“Let me finish,” I sighed heavily. “I told her I was going to have the baby. That night, we told my dad together. I was shocked because he wasn’t even mad. He told me he loved me and they would be there for me no matter what. That was when my mom told me she was moving to Springfield. She got a job there and her and my dad weren’t getting along…they told me I could choose where I wanted to stay.”
“You chose to leave me?” His voice sounded strangled and I met his eyes. There was so much pain filled there.
“No, Colin. I chose to stay. But the next day when I went to tell you about everything and the baby…do you remember what you said to me?”
He drew his brows together like he was thinking about it. “I remember asking you why and telling you we could.. maybe...”
“Your memory of it is different than mine. You said ‘Why?’ and I told you my parents were splitting up. Then you asked me if my mom was making me go, remember?”
“Yeah, you said she wasn’t and I got pissed.”
“Yes. You told me that it was probably better for me to go because you had too much to do for your father to be dating at that time anyways. You kissed me on the lips…but it was like a peck, and then you said you had to go.”
“But I didn’t know about the baby…”
“No, but I told myself that if you didn’t love me and I told you about the baby… I thought that you’d take me and the baby on out of guilt or responsibility or whatever and I didn’t want that either. I didn’t want you to think I was manipulating you just for us to stay together.”
“It was my responsibility, Cami. It should have also been my choice to make too.”
“You didn’t want any more responsibilities, Colin. Your father was driving you into the ground. He was trying to make you into what he was…is, and at that time of your life, you didn’t know anything else. He said that… Family came first and everything else including me and you came far later. So, I left with my mother. About three weeks after we moved, I… I got really sick and.. lost the baby.” My voice trembled as I held it together.
BWWM: BEFORE I WAKE: A Bad Boy Billionaire Book Collection (African American Interracial Series) Page 297
