First Class Stamp

by Aj Harmon

  The sincerity and love in his voice startled Ben. He’s never heard his brother speak with such raw emotion and even though he desperately wanted to make fun of him and his sappy words, he couldn’t. He couldn’t ruin the moment with a joke. He couldn’t make light of Matt’s earnest declaration of love.

  Matt cleared his throat, obviously trying to get his emotions in check. “I think I’m going to call Janie and tell her I’m headed home in a bit,” he said as he stood and left the room.

  “Everything that he just said?” Ryan said. “That goes the same for me. Just insert Courtney’s name and I couldn’t have said it better myself. And I am actually going to go home to my wife,” he chuckled. “See you guys tomorrow.”

  Ben and Mark said goodbye and sat for a moment in silence before it was Mark’s turn.

  “The reason you’re asking these questions is because something, or someone, has made you question your lifestyle. There are a lot of men out there who are very happy to be single and will remain so, but you’re a Lathem, and with the exception of Andrew,” he chuckled, “we belong with a woman who will love us as deeply as we love them.”

  Ben started to argue but Mark cut him off quickly. “You will not understand my words, or Matt’s, until you meet that person who fills the void that you didn’t know existed. You will not understand until you go to bed at night and your body literally aches to be with her. You will not understand until you hold her in her arms and she feels like your second skin and you can’t imagine ever being with anyone else.”

  “And that’s how you knew?”

  “That’s how I knew. I would have sat in your very position right up until Katy walked into my life and turned it upside down. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. If you have a question if she’s the one, like you did with Jill, then she’s not the one.”

  “I haven’t met anyone.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah…I’m sure.”

  “Then why are you asking?”

  Ben didn’t have an answer. He hadn’t met anyone…had he?

  11.

  Ben left the office early on Friday so he could get ready to take Luca to the Yankees game. As he walked home he reviewed the events of the week. The conference had gone well and today they’d all had the day to go sightseeing, or play, or sleep, or pack for their flight home. Ben had stayed in the office negotiating the sale of Crystal Towers to Vicente Rivera and Latin World Corporation. It was an all-cash deal and the transfer of ownership would take place early next month. Ben had also graciously declined the offer of a partnership and told Vicente that he was happy and content where he was. And then he’d told his secretary he was leaving for the day and would see her on Monday.

  He hesitated outside Aldo’s Market. Did he need anything? Was there a reason to go inside? He swung the door open anyway and headed for Gloria perched on a stool behind the counter.

  “Hello Mr. Lathem,” she smiled. “It’s early for you to be in here. Sneaking out of work are we?”

  “No sneaking about it!” he grinned. “I’m the boss so I decided to leave.”

  “You work too hard. I have seen it in your face.”

  Ben smiled at the kind woman. Then he twisted, looking around the store.

  “She’s not here,” Gloria said.

  “Who?” Ben asked feigning innocence.

  “Sophia has gone to a concert at Alex’ school. It’s the first band performance of the year. She’ll be back later.”

  “Oh. What instrument does Alex play?”

  “He’s learning the saxophone, but he’s terrible,” she shook her head as she spoke. “I am not aware of any musical talent on our side of the family or the Grossman side.”

  “I had to learn the tuba in middle school,” Ben frowned. “I was terrible…but only because I didn’t practice. I was too lazy to haul the monstrous thing home from school, so I sucked big time.”

  Gloria chuckled. “You and Alex sound a lot alike. Maybe you could take Sophia to dinner again sometime. She had a very nice time with you.”

  “Sure!” he replied. “I had a nice time too.”

  “That would be nice,” she smiled. “So…did you come to buy something or just see Sophia?”

  “I...I didn’t…no…just…a book of stamps please.”

  “You go through a lot of stamps.”

  “I write a lot of letters.”

  “Hmmm,” Gloria smirked. “You must.”

  Ben paid her and took the stamps and left quickly, humiliated at his pathetic self. It makes no sense, he scolded himself as he crossed at the green light. I’m content and happy! I am!!

  *****

  If it was possible, Luca was even more in awe of the baseball game than Alex had been on his first time. He was a quiet and shy boy and Ben wondered if it was because of his culture or because of the bullying he’d endured in Brazil. Either way, Ben tried to bring him out of his shell as they cheered on the Yankees, even though they lost, and as they ate hot-dogs and nachos. When Luca couldn’t decide which jersey he wanted, Ben helped him by picking his favorite player, #46, Andy Pettitte. Luca was excited about the selection and wore the jersey home as they rode in the taxi to the apartment where he was staying with his mother.

  As Maria opened the door, Luca began chattering non-stop about all the amazing things he’d seen at the game. He didn’t even notice that his mother was barely paying any attention to him.

  “Would you like to come in?” she asked Ben.

  He shook his head. “It’s late and I’m gonna go. I’m glad he had a good time.”

  “Thank you for taking him. He has talked about this for many years.”

  “My pleasure,” Ben smiled and turned away.

  Riding the elevator to the lobby was infuriating. It seemed to stop on practically every floor with people getting on and off, on and off. But it gave him several minutes of thinking about Maria. Physically, she was exactly what he looked for in a sexual partner, yet, he had no interest and his mind was wrestling as to why. Was it the fact that they’d known each for so long as employer and employee? That must be it, he told himself. Or was it because she had a son and that just made things way too complicated? He didn’t know and he realized, as he hailed a cab, that it didn’t really matter because he was happy and content. And he would keep telling himself he was until deep down he really believed it.

  There was some construction a few blocks from his apartment building and traffic was at a standstill so he paid the driver, tipped him well and jumped out to walk the rest of the way home. Fall was his favorite season of the year. There was a freshness to the air that revitalized him somehow…he couldn’t explain it. He knew that the weather would eventually turn ugly but it didn’t matter. He loved the crispness in the air.

  Crossing the street to his building, he heard the yelling before he saw the argument.

  “You had him for two hours! Two hours! But instead of keeping him for the weekend you’ve decided you’re bored already so you bring him home without any thought whatsoever about how that makes him feel!” Sophia screamed at her ex.

  “I told you I have to work tomorrow. We have a client that is expecting a new and revised campaign on Monday and…”

  “I don’t give a damn about your client. I am concerned with our son. You know maybe I should just tell him what an ass wipe you really are.”

  “Don’t you dare poison my son against me,” Willis spat through gritted teeth and raised his arm as if he was going to strike her.

  “You are a fucking moron, you know that?” Ben said as he grabbed Willis’ arm and bent it backwards ‘til he cried out in pain and fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

  “I should call the cops and charge you with assault,” Willis winced, rubbing his shoulder.

  “Yeah, let’s do that and see what they have to say, shall we?”

  Aldo ran out of the glass door. “Did he hit you?” he asked his daughter.

  “No dad, he didn’t get a chance
.”

  “I saw him raise his arm and…” Aldo said.

  “Let’s go inside,” Ben ushered Sophia and her father through the door into the safety of the store. “Get lost,” he yelled to Willis over his shoulder, “before I really hurt you.”

  “Oh, Ben,” Sophia said, the trembling beginning in earnest. “Thank you. I thought he was going to hit me again.”

  “Again?” exclaimed Aldo. “He’s hit you before? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It was a long time ago, dad.”

  “When did dad hit you?” Alex asked from the back door.

  Sophia almost burst into tears at the sound of her son’s voice. Ben looked at her and she shook her head. She wasn’t in an emotional state to deal with Alex. Ben understood completely.

  “Alex,” he said and swung to see the scared look on his face. “Your mom and grandpa need to talk for a bit so why don’t you come over to my apartment and we’ll play the newest Halo game I haven’t even unwrapped yet?”

  Sophia attempted a smile but her eyes were full of gratitude as Alex walked slowly towards her.

  “Mom?” he said. “Are you okay?”

  It took every ounce of strength she had to straighten her spine and put on a happy face for her son. “Sure I am, sweetheart. Why don’t you go play with Ben? Grab some Ben & Jerry’s to take too.”

  Alex looked at his mother for several seconds and Ben wondered if he was going to refuse his offer. Then, he walked to the cooler and pulled out two cartons of Cherry Garcia and returned to Ben. “Okay, but I warn you, I’m really good.”

  “Well, I’ll warn you, that I’m really not,” Ben smiled.

  “Thank you Ben,” nodded Aldo.

  “I’ll bring him back in a couple of hours?”

  Sophia nodded and watched the two of them leave together.

  *****

  “He only hit me once.”

  “Once is one time too many,” Aldo sighed.

  “I was ashamed so I didn’t tell you.”

  “He’s the one that should be ashamed!”

  “Don’t tell mom, please?”

  “No,” Aldo shook his head, “it would break her heart. So when was it?”

  “When I told him I was pregnant.”

  “Oh God,” he almost cried.

  “But then he apologized and said he’d never do it again.”

  “And you believed him.”

  “Well, yes. But then tonight…” her voice trailed off without finishing her thought.

  “We will just thank God that Ben was there.”

  “Yes…we will.”

  *****

  “So my dad hit my mom?” Alex asked Ben as they each took a carton of ice cream and sat on the sofa.

  “You need to ask your mom about that. But give her a couple of days first, ‘k?”

  “Why would he do that?” Alex continued.

  “Don’t know,” Ben replied. “But a man who strikes a woman is no man at all but a coward. It isn’t manly to hit something that is smaller and weaker than you. In fact, I don’t consider it macho to hit anything!”

  “He didn’t want me to stay over tonight. He said he had to work in the morning but I heard him on the phone and he’s going somewhere to win big for the weekend.”

  “I’m sorry,” Ben offered.

  “I’m not. It’s no fun at his place. He just hands me the remote and then goes into his office. I’d prefer to be home with mom and grandma and grandpa and you.”

  “Alex,” Ben sighed.

  “I know,” Alex shrugged. “You’re not my new dad or anything. I just like hanging out with you. But I’ll make sure not to bug you too often.”

  “You don’t bug me at all,” Ben smiled and ruffled his hair.

  They ate their ice cream in silence, Alex scraping every last bit from the cardboard container. When they were all finished he said, “Thanks for stopping dad from hitting her.”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t let him touch her.”

  “Do you like her?”

  “Your mom?” Ben was nervous at the line of questioning.

  “Yeah. I mean she’s pretty, right?”

  “She is,” Ben agreed.

  “What’s a MILF?”

  “What?” Ben exclaimed.

  “A MILF. There was a guy at school today who said she was a MILF.”

  “Stop saying that.” Ben was totally uncomfortable.

  “Is it a bad word?”

  “Yeah, kind of.”

  “Oh, but what is it?”

  “It’s time to take you home,” Ben said.

  *****

  That night Ben lay in bed unable to sleep and unable to get Sophia out of his mind. When he’d seen Willis raise his hand his heart lurched into his throat and the panic and anger that he felt was entirely overwhelming. He’d never wanted to beat a man to death before but at that moment he understood rage…unadulterated rage. The feelings were so strong that he couldn’t turn them off. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, he gave up and went through to play Halo.

  He sucked at this video game. He was a star when playing Winnie the Pooh with Ella, but this one was hard and Alex had beaten him badly. In fact, he was pretty humiliated by his performance. But he decided if he was going to play with Alex again he’d better learn some things so he could at least give the kid a run for his money.

  Oh damn! he thought. Now I’m planning on playing with the kid again. This is out of control! I’m happy and content! “I’m happy and content!” he yelled at the television.

  When his doorbell rang at nine o’clock the next morning, he wasn’t happy or content. He was tired. He’d given up the video game at about five and was not willing to wake up yet but whoever was on the other side of the door was persistent. They weren’t leaving.

  Opening the door, his eyelids barely parted, he wasn’t ready to see Sophia in the hallway.

  “Hey,” she smiled.

  “Hey.”

  “I brought you cinnamon rolls.”

  “Um, come in.” Ben stepped back and Sophia walked past him and straight to the kitchen with the warm pan. “You didn’t have to do this,” he yawned as he followed behind her.

  “I wanted to do something,” she shrugged, “as a thank you.”

  “No need,” he smiled and noticed she was wearing the same jeans and t-shirt she’d been wearing the evening before. “Did you sleep?”

  “Nah…too worked up I guess. Dad and I had a long talk and then Alex came home and he said that he wanted to know everything but that you’d told him to wait a little while. Thank you for that.”

  The sad smile that formed on her lips was enough to thaw his crystalized heart. In a split second he’d gone from happy and content to desperate and longing. Damn Matt and Mark!

  “You okay?” she asked looking very confused.

  “Yeah…I just really love cinnamon rolls,” he said removing the foil that covered the pan. “Raisins?”

  “Um…yeah?” she scrunched her nose up hoping it was the right answer.

  “Good. I like raisins in my cinnamon rolls. I really love them you know.”

  “So you said,” she chuckled. “Well, I’ll get going,” she said as she gazed straight ahead of her at the chiseled muscular chest in front of her. Her imagination hadn’t done him justice. “I’m tired too.” She turned to head for the door.

  “Sophia?”

  “Yes?” she swung back to him.

  “Um…would you like to have dinner with me this evening?”

  “I’ll check with Alex and I’m sure we’d both…”

  “No!” he snapped. “I mean, not with Alex. Would you like to have dinner with me?”

  “Are you asking me on a date?”

  “Yeah,” he smiled. “I am.”

  12.

  After a nice long nap and a long hot shower, Ben dressed in a charcoal grey suit and a light pink dress shirt, left open at the neck. He stood in front of the mirror in his luxuriously marble tiled en suite b
athroom and added a touch of gel to his thick dark hair. He fiddled with the collar of his shirt and then left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom to add his watch to his left wrist and shoved his wallet in his back pocket. Dropping his apartment key into his front pocket, he closed the front door behind him and strolled to the elevator.

  Meanwhile, across the street, Sophia stared into her closet, piles of clothes already littered her bed – all of which had been examined and found wanting for one reason or another. Her make-up was perfect and her long black hair in big soft curls, framing her face. She stood in a matching black bra and pantie set staring at the possible choices in front of her.

  It shouldn’t be this hard. It’s just dinner! But the thought wasn’t comforting at all. She hadn’t had a reason to dress up since her parents celebrated their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary just a few weeks before the dreaded diagnosis of her mother’s cancer. The four of them, her parents and her and Alex, had celebrated at a restaurant uptown, one of the rare occasions that Aldo had agreed to close the store early.

  Flicking through her limited number of choices, she pulled out a pale pink knee-length cotton dress with flutter sleeves, a V-neck and an empire waist. Slipping it up her legs and over her shoulders, she slid the zipper up at the back and stood back to look in the mirror. She had great arms. Lifting boxes in the store and helping to lift her mom when she had no strength at all had done wonders for her biceps. Her neck wasn’t long like all the fashion models but at least she’d avoided the Manning curse of barely a neck at all! Her breasts were average and still maintained shape and position and there was a slight indent where her waist should be. Hips that had birthed a nine pound baby and long legs that were a gift from her mother’s genes completed the evaluation.