Love, Life and Naughty Bits

by Tania Cooper

  As we make our way towards our building, the relief at not seeing Mr. Stalker at the waterfront is short lived as we go to open the door of our building and see him off to the side, looking through the window into the busy lobby area. Alexis refuses to freeze like her body wants to. Instead, she ploughs through the door and marches with anger towards the lift, refusing to look back to see if Mr. Stalker has actually spotted her.

  Once we reach our floor, she continues walking with anger towards Mr. Uptight’s office, thankful that he’s not in yet. She throws her bags on her desk and picks up her phone to call security. After relaying what she just saw out the front and about the mystery phones calls she received all Saturday night and Sunday, to the point she had to turn her phone off, she slams the phone down and finally takes a much needed breath.

  Tears threaten in the corner of her eyes as she tries not to think about the possibility that this could get worse. She tells herself he has done nothing wrong except stare at her and maybe the phone calls are not related to him at all. She will be wary but will not let her mind run away with scary scenarios. So far, nothing serious has happened so let’s hope it stays that way.

  Just then Lane comes through the door with a tray of two coffees and a small white box, along with a huge smile on his face, which falters slightly when he takes in the worry on my girl’s face.

  “Lex, is everything okay? You look a little pale. Are you feeling alright?”

  Damn. Instead of brightening my girl’s mood, she struggles to hold back the tears that are desperate to fall. She takes a deep breath and coughs to clear the emotion that has welled up in her throat, not only from the situation, but also from the concern in Lane’s voice and the sweet gesture of coffee and sweets first thing on a Monday morning.

  ‘I’m fine, thank you Lane. I just had a rush of too many thoughts in my head at once and was a little stressed. I’m good now; even better by the smell you have just brought into the office and the thought of what’s in the little white box you’re holding.”

  I think she would be much better if she had told him the truth, maybe she would feel better getting it off her chest, but his sweet smile and gesture has started to brighten her up some. And I want to know what’s in that little white box too.

  “Well, I arrived a little early today, so decided to walk down the bank a few blocks to find something delectable to bring back for you. I knew coffee was a no brainer and I was going to buy some still warm banana bread, but when I saw these little gems, I had a feeling they could be your favourite. Am I right?”

  He opens the box to reveal, indeed, one of her favourite indulgences. Brightly coloured macaroons! How did he know? It’s not something I have ever mentioned to Eight, I’m sure of it.

  “Oh Lane, how did you know?”

  “So I’m right? Score one for Lane!”

  “Eight, who is this man?”

  “I don’t know, but I like him! The truth is, this is him, well, the him before Miss Queen Bitch came along. Are they really her favourite? Because as soon as his eyes zeroed in on them under the glass counter, he just knew they were what Alexis would like. This is getting interesting, Hot Lips, very interesting.”

  “I agree, Eight.”

  “You’re very right. I usually just buy one or two, because if I bought a whole box, there probably wouldn’t be any left by the end of the day.”

  “So what if you ate a whole box. You don’t have to worry about that. We can both share this box of twelve and finish it off by the end of the day.”

  “Umm, thank you. But one will do me. A pistachio one please, if it’s there.”

  “Nope. It’s six or none. Your body is perfect, Alexis, you can eat as many as you like.”

  “Eight, I have to ask again, who is this man?”

  “May I introduce you to Mr. Falling Hard. Mr. Falling Hard, this is Hot Lips.”

  “Damn. I kind of like him.”

  “Me too.”

  After taking only one macaroon, with promises of eating another one at lunch, Alexis lets everything else just fall away and gets her work groove on. By morning tea, the first draft of the storyboards they had printed arrives. Lane decides they need the boardroom to spread them out and set them up clearly, but when he phones reception to book it in, he is informed that it is being used for the rest of the day.

  Alexis suggests they use her office’s boardroom and phones through to reception to book it. After the receptionist gives her a time of 1:30 p.m., she also informs her that she has had a man constantly requesting to be put through to Alexis’s personal line, and when the receptionist informs him that she can only take a message, he hangs up. My girl’s whole body stiffens at this news. Now there are phone calls at her work? She quietly asks the receptionist to call security and let them know, just as a precaution.

  “Is everything okay? You look a little worried.”

  “I’m fine, thanks Lane. The boardroom is booked for 1:30 p.m. I hope that’s okay with you?”

  “That’s fine, Lex. How about we go out to lunch first? We’re on top of everything now so we can actually take the time to eat.”

  “That’s true. Okay, lunch out it is. Thank you Lane.”

  “It’s my pleasure, Lex.”

  “Oooookay. Does this seem to be moving at light speed to you, or is it just me, Eight?”

  “I told you. My man is falling. And I really think he’s finally ready to move on. And what better girl to move on with than Alexis. She is sweet, caring, beautiful, and in the words of my man, perfect. But not as perfect as you, baby.”

  “I think I’m in love.”

  “Then that would make two of us.”

  “I think I’m going to cry.”

  “Not yet, your girl has no time to go change her panties, Lane has just come up with a brilliant idea.”

  “I’ll try and hold it in. Until I’m all alone in bed tonight. Well, as alone as I can get connected to another person.”

  The morning goes fast as both Alexis and Lane are on fire. The ideas are flowing and so are the smiles. Lane really does have an amazing smile when he lets it show, and boy has it been showing today. Alexis has been left staring at him numerous times when he has let his guard down and produced a face splitting grin. These two are going to make beautiful babies.

  Babies? Oww!

  After lunch, they head back to their office for all of their printing and some supplies before carrying it all down to Alexis’s offices. After saying a quick hello to all the staff and introducing Lane around, they head to the boardroom and set up. An hour later there is a knock at the door despite Alexis asking not to be interrupted.

  “Come in.”

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, Alexis and Mr. Anderson. I know you didn’t want to be interrupted, but I have a man on the line saying he is a family member and it’s an emergency. He said he must speak with you at once. It’s a bad line, so I can’t tell if it’s the same man who has already been calling, but just in case it’s not, I thought I better let you know. He’s on line three.”

  “Thank you, Alecia, I better take it. Excuse me, Lane. Hello, this is Alexis Ryan, who is this? I said hello, who is this?”

  She holds on for a few more seconds, but no one speaks so she calmly places the phone down. And takes a few deep breaths. Just as Lane is about to ask her what that was all about, there is a large knock on the door before her boss Andre walks in.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Alecia just told me about your call just now and all the calls this morning. Security has spoken to me, Lex. Is there anything you need me to do?”

  “No thank you, Andre. Security has it under control. But thank you for the offer.”

  “Okay, but maybe wait until I’m ready to leave before going outside alone tonight, okay kiddo?”

  “Okay Andre. Thank you.”

  After her boss leaves, she tries to avoid Mr. Uptight’s eyes, but he just waits patiently in silence for her to look up. When she does, the look in his eyes warms her h
eart and has her body buzzing with emotion. How did he worm his way into her heart so fast? God, I hope he treats her right. If not, this is going to hurt badly when it ends.

  “Care to explain what security has under control? Is there something I should know, Alexis? Maybe I can help.”

  Damn! If we weren’t already falling fast, it would have happened with that one sentence. She debates about brushing him off, but realises he’s too smart for that. So she decides to tell him some of the truth.

  “It’s just about a pest who has been hanging around the building. And now I suspect he is the nuisance who has been prank calling me on my mobile since Saturday night and now here at the office. Security has all the information and has assured me they are keeping an eye on the situation. There’s really nothing more to tell. He’s just a pest, he hasn’t done anything serious.”

  “Yet, Alexis. He hasn’t done anything serious yet. People that start out as just pests can turn into stalkers or worse. Have you gone to the police about this?”

  “He hasn’t done anything wrong enough to go to the police. They would have nothing to charge him with. It’s really not a big deal, I promise, it’s just an inconvenience that he’s now annoying my work colleagues.”

  “Just be careful okay. And let me know if it gets any more serious.”

  “I will. Thank you, Lane.

  “The seriousness of your boy’s voice has me looking at this whole Mr. Stalker situation in a new light, Eight. Can you make sure that Lane doesn’t let us walk out of here alone at the end of the day, please? I’m suddenly not feeling very comfortable walking home alone at night anymore.”

  “I promise baby, I promise.”

  The rest of the day goes by fast, with Lane being extra attentive towards my girl, and we like it. They’ve been working close all afternoon, even brushing shoulders while checking out the graphic boards, but Eight and I stay in our sullen moods, not feeling as if it’s the right time to start playing games with Alexis and Lane in light of the Mr. Stalker drama. Now’s the time to just enjoy the simple closeness of the two people who control our lives.

  “Ready to head home, Lexi?”

  “Yes, just give me a moment to pack a few bits away and let Alecia know we’re done here.”

  “Okay, meet me out front?”

  “Sure, I won’t be a more than a minute.”

  Oh there it is, that smile that you’re falling hard on, you know the one that gives her little cherub cheeks and makes her eyes sparkle. The one you’ve only really seen a dozen times since you’ve properly known her, but could easily draw from memory. You know that one. Mmm, watching her sashay down the corridor as you head for the lift, nice, there’s a good firm backside if ever there was one, just the right side of plump and peachy. Okay, eyes back in your head, bro, or we are going to walk into the lift doors again.

  Oh shit, too late.

  “Lane, you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good, just got distracted for a moment.”

  “By what?”

  “Uhh ….”

  Better think of something quick, bro, or she is going to catch on you were checking out her arse.

  “Oh, just thinking about plans for tomorrow and what we’re going to present to the clients and things, nothing real important.”

  “Oh … okay.”

  Does she look a little disappointed to you?

  “Damn right my girl is disappointed, I’m disappointed.”

  “Disappointed by what? By the fact he didn’t admit to staring at our girl’s arse as we so gallantly walked into six inches of chrome steel?”

  “Yes!”

  “Well okay then, I’ll make a note of that for the next time my boy very nearly busts his nose.”

  “You do that. I’m going to be watching you, Eight, always watching.”

  “Okay, are you my girl, Hot Lips, or Roz from Monster Inc.?”

  “Ha, ha, I would call you Mike Wazowski for only having one eye, but I get the feeling you’re not as short and stumpy.”

  “Oh sweetheart, you have no idea.”

  “No, but I really would like to.”

  “You and me both, baby, you and me both. Right, I’ll see you downstairs, lift is here. Be safe.”

  “Always, Eight, see you soon.”

  

  So, long day, hey bro, a very long day, and yet here you are waiting for a woman for whom you are falling head over heels. But somehow you still don’t know the state of your own feelings. I sit here, screaming at you, telling you how you feel for her, but do you listen? Do you? All you keep doing is mulling over your schoolboy inadequacy and inability to logically escape your own mind.

  You are in love with a woman you barely acknowledged for a year all because she piqued memories of that frozen hearted bitch, yet you still won’t let yourself feel it. No wonder you can’t pull yourself together enough to simply ask her on a proper date. Oh who am I kidding, there is no point in hashing over this anymore and you can no more hear me than a dog can do calculus, so I guess we’re reduced to another pseudo date tomorrow over lunch … or have I just missed the mark slightly with what you were thinking? Ah well, I guess I’m going to find out soon enough. Here she comes.

  “Hey baby, did security tell our girl anything?”

  “No Eight, they didn’t, they’re logging all the calls that come in for our girl though and keeping an eye out for the guy with the … what did you say his hair was like?”

  “Sheldon Cooper, you know, from the Big Bang Theory.”

  “Ah yeah, I think our girl actually said that to security, I’m not sure. But anyway, it’s still pretty much a waiting game, waiting to see what happens next at least.”

  “Well one thing I do know, Lane is still pussy footing around with his feelings.”

  “So is Lexi, they’re both as confused as one another, Eight. I’m a little worried at the moment that if we don’t play this carefully, we may lose our chance altogether.”

  “Not gonna happen baby, I won’t let it.”

  “I know, but still, I can’t help worrying over it.”

  “Lexi, do you fancy going out for lunch tomorrow, say, taking an early lunch at around twelve and maybe taking a couple of hours to ourselves? Still in a work frame obviously, but I have a couple of ideas and I wanted to talk you through possible locations that go with them. What do you say?”

  “Hmm. I didn’t see that coming.”

  “Neither did I, babe, neither did I.”

  “Uh, sure, I guess. It’s a bit unorthodox, but sure. Do I need to bring anything from the office or prep anything?”

  “No, just bring your usual, wonderful self and that awesome smile of yours. I dare say you could charm birds from the trees with that.”

  “Okay Lane, peel the cheese off and stop, you don’t want to choke her to death with it.”

  “I thought you said he didn’t do cheese, Eight?”

  “Yeah well, this dumbass hasn’t exactly been himself the past couple of days.”

  “That’s a bit obvious, Eight.”

  “Lane, are you feeling okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Because that is the corniest thing I have ever heard anyone come out with.”

  “Yeah well, it’s the truth, you do have a gorgeous smile.”

  “Well, uh, thanks. I’ll, um, see you in the morning, okay.”

  “Oh, she’s getting all squirrely, I’m literally drowning here. I bet she bites her lip in a second and tucks her hair back a little, she always does that when she is really into the moment and feeling a strong pull to someone. Yes! Right on cue, this is a really good sign, Eight. Just ease your boy back a bit, don’t let him lean in or anything, she may be firing off an okay signal, but her professional side is still leaning hard on her heart at the second. We really need to be gentle. Just have him take her hand and ‘help’ her onto the tram. That will be enough for the moment.”

  “Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning Lexi, sleep tight. Remember
, just bring yourself and that smile. That’s all I need.”

  Did you seriously just wink at her? Holy shit, she’s blushing, how the fuck did that work? You lay out some of the cheesiest lines since the eighties and then wink at her and it freaking works.

  “Eight, remember, no calls or messages, let her simmer with this. We will be there, I can guarantee it. But let her simmer.”

  “I’ll do my best, baby, I’ll do my best. See you tomorrow.”

  “Bye Eight.”

  

  Office is quiet today, a little too quiet. Everyone is on site as far as security goes, Oh there’s Clive, why don’t you see if he has any information.

  “Clive, what's going on, where is everyone?”

  “Seems we had an attempted break in, got the department heads for most of the companies in a meeting with the security chief. Doesn’t look like they made it into the building, but the camera on the east corner that overlooks the storage entrance was smashed to pieces so there’s no guarantee. It might just be a bunch of teens on a stupid dare, but better safe than sorry; especially with the whole thing going on with Miss Ryan. Chief wanted to be double sure it wasn’t related so we are scanning all internal footage and carding anyone we don’t recognise, as well as scanning everyone who enters. Which reminds me, card please, sir.”

  “Yeah sure, here. Has Lex been through yet?”

  “Yeah, she went up a few minutes ago, want me to phone through?”

  “No that’s okay, just checking. Catch you later.”

  “See ya later, Mr. Anderson.”

  

  “So do you have anywhere you would prefer to go for lunch, Lex? I hadn’t picked a specific restaurant or anything, I can work my ideas in around wherever you pick.”

  “Hmmm, well … I’ve had my eye on Rosetta for a long time, but that is a bit of a stretch just for lunch … so … I guess we could try Rockpool? It’s another that has always caught my attention, and if we’re pimping out the corporate cards, well, might as well get our monies’ worth.”

  “I like how you think. Rockpool it is.”