Love, Life and Naughty Bits

by Tania Cooper

  “I love you too Lane, so, so, much. Thank you, thank you for everything.”

  “No need baby, no need, just doing my job as your boyfriend and partner.”

  That’s my boy, that’s my fucking boy. I knew there was a solid bloke beneath all that flirty bullshit. Now, let’s see if you have what it takes to really be the husband Lexi deserves, provided she says yes of course. Speaking of which, you better talk to Benji and Booker to make sure everything is in place at the beach house for this weekend. The earlier it’s set up, the less can go wrong.

  So you better get some time soon to make that call, otherwise, well, you’re going to be dropped head first into a half cooked idea that could have been sorted in plenty of time.

  “Right babe, I have a couple of calls to make, so you take your time and do what you need to do. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Love you baby.”

  “Okay babe, love you too.”

  Yeah, way to go Lane, that’s not suspicious at all. For fuck’s sakes, you really are an idiot at times.

  “Booker, you with Benji?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Just checking in.”

  “Well, you know, we’ve been here, sorting out your uh, special party.”

  “Yeah, thanks guys, I appreciate it, you know that. Anyway, how’s it all going, any problems?”

  “Nothing major. The fireworks guy is mapping out where he is going to be running all the cable work out to the barges, and the old crew is getting some practice in back at their studio. You wanted James Blunt’s Bonfire Heart right? Because that’s what Benji told them.”

  “Yeah, that’s one of Lexi’s favourite songs, it’ll be perfect. Tell them all that if they can get it all sorted and in place early I will throw in some beer and a forty percent bonus.”

  “Shit, you really are dead set on this ain’t you?”

  “Bro, I’m asking the woman of my dreams one of the most important questions a man ever can, so you bet your life I’m making sure this is perfect.”

  “Okay lover boy, get your lady sorted and get your arse to work. You do know it’s now eight thirty in the morning? It’s a good thing me and Benji fluked sickies for this.”

  “Yeah I know, thanks again guys.”

  “Anytime.”

  “I hope not, it’s Lexi or no one. Oh, and one last thing, don’t forget to send out the invites to Lexi’s girls and the rest of the crew.”

  “Yeah, yeah, go on, fuck off and get your arse to work.”

  “Catch you later, boys.”

  Well, seems like it’s full steam ahead for you, broheim. Let’s see how the rest of the week plays out, but first, we have to attend to one of the most important things that needs attention this week: manscaping! Because I don’t want my girl refusing you or me on what could be one of the most sexually charged nights of our life, if they say yes.

  

  The office … is tense. Very tense. It’s like they’re all waiting for something, anything to happen. Like a bomb tech making the long walk, it’s just one huge tension filled lag in time, and Lexi, well, she’s like a cat on a hot tin roof. Nothing that my boy says or does makes a lick of difference to her or the way she feels and it is killing my boy to see it.

  Security is there, stern faced and wary, eyes scanning for anything on the other side of the front doors. With the events of Lexi’s attack and everything before it still rippling through the workplace, Woody and Andre both poured money into the building’s security as did the other companies that hold offices in the glass fronted tower block. So now, well, for anyone coming in, it’s like walking into an embassy: a bank of three metal detectors as well as dozens of cameras ring the foyer and the exterior. There is not a single inch of ground in or around the entrances to the offices that cannot be seen on one of the dozens of monitors that now fill the wall of the security office.

  “Morning, Mr. Anderson.”

  “Morning Clive. How’s it going?”

  “Not bad, not bad. The new set up makes me feel like a guard at Guantanamo Bay, but yeah, all in all, it’s not a bad day really. If you don’t mind me asking, how is Miss Ryan?”

  “I’m fine, Clive, thank you for asking.”

  “Oh damn, didn’t see you, ma’am, I hope I didn’t cause you offence.”

  “Don’t be silly, Clive, it was kind of you to ask, but I really am fine, thank you though.”

  “No problem, have a great day.”

  “You too Clive.”

  They move away from the wide eyed, coffee driven security guard and towards the elevator, my boy’s hand itching to take Lexi’s, but he knows that until she is ready, the work place is one spot where their relationship will always be behind closed doors … well … that is unless they can’t get it to stay closed.

  “You still sure about this, Lexi?”

  “Yes Lane, I am. I’m not going to let him win no matter how bad my nightmares are, or how bad the bruises show. I’m not letting that mother fucker win.”

  “Atta girl. I would say something else but, well … crowded foyer and semi crowded elevator.”

  Okay, Lane keep your hands in neutral zones, even if you want to pull her close as she whispers in your ear.

  “I love you too.”

  “I know.”

  Yup, semi hitting the front zip. Damn it, sorry bro, you’re going to be popping a chubby for a while today. Nothing I can do about it.

  

  “Eight?”

  “Yeah baby?”

  “My girl isn’t doing good.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She keeps flinching at every random noise. Hell, the phone rang earlier and she all but screamed in fright. I’m surprised you and Lane didn’t notice. Every knock on the office door, every smile in the corridor, hell, every bloody shadow on the blinds over the windows at the front of the office causes her heart to leap into her throat. Our girl is not okay, baby, and I just don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want Lane to know, but, well, I had to say something. It’s really worrying me and I need help, baby, I need help to make my girl feel better.”

  “I hear you baby, I hear you. I’m going to get Lane on this, trust me, he knows exactly what to do.”

  The rest of the day passes in a blur of tension and anxiousness, a foreboding cloud that lines up the rest of the week for them both. Despite it all, Lane slowly chips away at the doom and gloom. My boy swings into action, his credit cards screaming in fear as he lavishes Lexi with dinners out and trips to every place he can conceivably think of. Slow hand in hand walks along the Quay and Southbank, making each small break seem like the first days of summer, the tenderness not lost on even the most casual observer. He caps it all off with lunch three times that week in their favourite restaurant. Lexi sits grinning at him as Leon fawns over them both like a clucky mother hen, the stout French man only too aware of what had befallen his favourite customers. His determination to see Lexi happy rivals Lane’s, with the paunched and moustachioed man going so far as to offer them free meals for the remainder of the week. A surprise which even had my boy lost for words.

  By the time Friday peers round the corner, the cloud that had so plagued Lexi seems to be lifting. Even the front page of the paper that day does little to darken the slowly brightening world of our girl.

  “Well, that settles that.”

  “What does?”

  “The paper here, it says that your Mr. Stalker and head case could end up getting a ten year stretch without possibility of parole. Apparently he had warrants out on him in Denmark and Hungary for similar offenses, but they weren’t flagged, so it took a while for them to filter down the chain. Seems that is the last anyone this side of Engoordina will see of him.”

  “Well good. I hope no one else ever has to suffer through his sick adoration.”

  “You and me both, darling. Tell you what, why don’t we head down to the beach house this weekend? I’ll invite the gang and we can have a blowout, see if we
actually remember it on Monday. You never know what will happen when we’re all together. What do you say?”

  “Yeah, sounds like fun, just please don’t do anything too stupid. I know how you can be when Benji is around. I love him, but you turn into a seventeen year old pot head when the two of you are together sometimes.”

  “I’ll try and behave, I promise, baby.”

  “Good, okay, you ready to head home?”

  “Damn I love the way you say that!”

  “Say what?”

  “Home, it just makes my world seem all the more complete to know that you truly do see that apartment as ours and not just mine.”

  “Babe, anywhere with you is home to me, you’re all I need to make it so.”

  “I love you, Alexis Ryan.”

  “I love you too, Lane Anderson, with all my heart and soul.”

  

  Lane slowly pulls along the gravelled drive to the beach house, his heart softly beating in time to the soft snoring of Lexi. She leans against the passenger door, her lips curled in a small smile as she shifts, mumbling his name as she moves into a more comfortable position.

  Shadows move across the lights in the living room as he fishes his phone from the cup holder in the armrest, then steps from the car.

  “Booker, can you get everyone to slow things down? Lexi has nodded right off and I’m going to put her to bed before we make the final preparations for tomorrow. She knows you’re all here, but I just want to let her sleep. This is the first time she hasn’t woken in a cold sweat from nightmares and I don’t want to chance ruining it.”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Thanks bro.”

  “No problem. Oi you lot, shut it.”

  My boy grins as he watches Booker’s unmistakable form march across the curtained windows, his arms gesticulating wildly as he ushers everyone into the back rooms and away from the front entrance.

  Lane softly shuts the driver’s side door before moving to Lexi’s side and carefully opening it. He watches her jump slightly in her sleep as the door clunks with the lock opening. Easing the door open, he lets the seatbelt take her weight before he sets a hand to her shoulder and reaches to release her from the strap.

  “Lexi, it’s me, we’re here. I’m going to put you to bed, okay? Come on baby, put your arms round my neck. Atta girl, Goddamn it I love you, babe.”

  “Mmm, love you too.”

  Her sleep addled words ring with serene honesty as Lane effortlessly lifts her from the passenger seat, lifting her in his arms and pushing the door shut with his hip. Benji grins from the porch as he moves towards them, his hand finding my boy’s shoulder as he leans in and softly whispers, “Everything’s set. I even turned down the bed for you so no need to faff around with covers or anything; just set our girl down and close the door, bro, you’re good to go.”

  “Thanks mate.”

  Lane moves quietly through the entry and up the stairs, closing the door to the master suite as softly as he can before placing Lexi’s sleepy form on the bed. He tucks her in, placing a kiss softly on her head before turning to leave. He casts his eye back into the room and sees Lexi curled up, sleeping quietly in their bed. My boy smiles, simply content as he watches our girl sleep for a moment before turning and moving along the hallway.

  Zali and Mel stop talking the moment Lane enters the lounge, both women turning to watch my boy, the look in their eyes making him pause.

  “What?”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For giving our girl what she wanted most.”

  “What are you on about? I just did what any guy would and stood by my woman.”

  “No Lane, you did a lot more than that. We won’t go into details, that’s for Lexi to say, but we just want to say thank you for giving her someone to believe in again. So … thank you.”

  My boy nods, not really knowing what to say to the two women as they smile at him. He subconsciously scratches the back of his head and moves towards the kitchen, Benji chuckling softly as he watches my boy stop in front of the fridge.

  “So you ready for the next chapter, bro?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  “Well mate, I’m pleased for you. She’s a fantastic girl and I have never in my life seen you happier than you are right now. So … don’t fuck this up. As much as I love you, if you hurt her, I will kick your fucking arse.”

  

  The air stands warm and soft and Lexi’s face is bathed in dancing mists of blue and red, eyes glittering as the sky lights up with the shimmering bursts of fireworks. My boy’s stomach is a knotted mess as he nervously fidgets with the box in his pocket. He takes a deep, steadying breath before closing his eyes and stepping away from Lexi, then casts a glance at Booker and Benji, who nod to the people around them. One by one they lift from hiding their instruments and begin to play a song they spent the last three weeks rehearsing relentlessly.

  “Lane, what the hell is happening? Why is there a band playing music? What are you doing?”

  “Alexis Ryan … there is something I want to ask you … but first … I want you to know, from the first moment I saw you, this wide eyed woman with a constant smile on her face, you have filled my every thought. To be honest, I actually tracked you down through my boss the same day. I just had to know your name, and since that day, it has never left me. You are truly the centre of my universe. I‘ve been through so many ups and downs that I never thought I could ever find someone to make me feel the way you do. There isn’t a single moment in my existence that rivals waking up next to you each and every day. You make every moment, be it at work or at home, so phenomenally special that I never want to be anywhere else.

  “Each day is like the start of some grand adventure and I never want that to end. I never want to wake up next to or be with anyone other than you for as long as I live, and even then, when I do find out what is after all of this, I want to find it with you. So Alexis Ryan, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

  My boy kneels, sand tricking through his curled toes as he opens the box in his hands, the ring glittering as the band plays. The echoing crack of the fireworks punctuates everything as he watches the light play over her face.

  Time seems to drop to a crawl as my boy’s heart hammers in his chest, his throat running dry as he waits for her answer.

  “Lexi?”

  “Yes, oh dear God, Lane, yes.”

  Lane leaps to his feet, the box tumbling into the sand as he scoops her up into his arms and kisses her. I can hear Hot Lips screaming with joy as our boy and girl stand wrapped in each other’s arms. Benji and Booker hoot and holler as the girls try and hide their tears.

  “Oh my God, Eight, baby, was this … did you know … oh my God.”

  “Yeah baby I did! I wanted to tell you so badly, but it would have tipped off our girl and, well … yeah … fuck, I love you baby! I promised you I would never leave you and now you know I never will.”

  “I love you so damned much, Eight. God, I’m going to cry.”

  “I love you too, my darling wife.”

  DO YOU WANT MORE?

  Would you like to read the continuation of

  Hot Lips and Eight’s story?

  This will only happen if you wonderful readers ask for it.

  Visit and like our Facebook pages at

  Tania Cooper Books and Ricky Cooper Books

  and post a message saying ‘More Naughty Bits’.

  Or send us an email at cooperbooks100@gmail.com

  with the same message.

  If we hear back from enough readers, we will make it happen.

  If you loved this book, please take the time to leave a review on

  Amazon and Goodreads.

  To find out the results of this question

  and to keep up to date with all of our writing adventures,

  please sign up for our newsletter:

  http://eepurl.com/bi8xgr

  WE
LOVE TO HEAR FROM OUR READERS,

  so stop by for a chat about what your favourite naughty bits were:

  Find Tania on her

  Website: www.taniacooperauthor.com.au

  Facebook page: www.facebook.com/taniacooperbooks

  Amazon: www.Title/Tania-Cooper/e/B00IOBWNDO

  or follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TaniaTmcoops

  Find Ricky on his

  Website: www.ricky-cooper.co.uk

  Facebook page: www.facebook.com/R.C.books

  Amazon: www.Title/Ricky-Cooper/e/B00BRZZ9V2

  or follow him on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RJwC20

  You can email them both at

  cooperbooks100@gmail.com

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First and foremost, a BIG, HUGE, BULGING thank you to you, our reader. Thank you for reading this quirky tale and wanting to know the intimate details of everyone’s naughty bits.

  Thank you to our friends and family. Without your support and belief in us, these writing adventures wouldn’t turn into a book. Thanks especially to Nic Nic, Ann, and Casey for making me (Tania) believe in myself.

  To all the bloggers and reviewers who have taken the time to read our book and then spread the word around all of your beautiful pages, thank you. Our book would be lonely and collecting dust in a corner if it wasn’t for you guys.

  Thank you to our hard working publicist, the lovely Neda Amini of Ardent Prose PR. Where have you been all our lives? Now you are here, we are never letting you go.

  And a big cuddly thanks to our amazing editor extraordinaire, Monique. You are a talented lady in so many ways and we are truly blessed to have you in our corner and in our hearts.

  OUR NAUGHTY AND FUN PLAYLIST:

  We cannot work without a little mood music.

  Dirty Talk – Wynter Gordon

  Shut Up and Dance – Walk The Moon

  Awake My Soul – Mumford & Sons

  Poison – Rita Ora

  Run the World – Beyoncé