by Jillian Dodd
It’s like the perfect day.
Strangely, Danny disappears and I relive tripping Phillip, sort of on purpose, the other day. He sits on top of me and holds me down.
Then the dream gets really weird.
He leans in to yell at me, but starts kissing me instead. And, well, he does some other stuff too.
What a nightmare!
Phillip is like a brother to me.
I don’t . . . I mean, I can’t . . . well . . . I shouldn’t think about him like that.
It’s practically incestuous!
But, evidently I’m pretty warped because, not only did I really enjoy the dream, I keep finding myself wanting to have it again.
And it’s freaking me out.
It really, really is.
The music is cranked up, and the top is cranked down. Phillip and I are in my car, driving to Lincoln, Nebraska on Thursday afternoon.
Why are we going to Lincoln?
We are going on a College Campus Visit.
Now for the rest of your questions, the answers that I give will depend on who you are. For example, if you are a teacher, parent, or guidance counselor, you will hear the following:
Why are you going on a campus visit?
Well, Phillip and I are really looking forward to having the opportunity to get a first-hand view of the University of Nebraska. I mean, every campus has online tours and information, but there really is no substitute for visiting when it comes to getting a real feel for what the school is like.
And what will you be doing there?
We will be taking a guided tour of the campus, as well as taking part in a group orientation session. We will also try to sit in on a class, and check out the food and the dorms. We will look at the activities available to us and try to meet with an advisor or professor in our chosen major. Oh, and I especially want to check out the library and the bookstore.
And how will you make the difficult decision of which college to attend?
Well, I’m sure I will make a lengthy pros and cons list for each school we visit, but, basically, I will choose the school that has the best combination of academics in my chosen field, and overall best feeling. You know, how comfortable I feel there.
OKAY, so that’s a college campus visit in theory. The reality of this trip is probably going to be a bit different from that.
Why are you going on a campus visit?
To visit Danny, spend three nights with him, go to a Husker football game, meet boys, and PARTAAAY!
And what will you be doing there?
Going to parties, checking out cute boys, seeing the dorms, partying, meeting cute college boys, and PARTYING. Oh, and going to a football game and checking out the cute boys, when not enthralled by the game.
And how will you make the difficult decision of which college to attend?
I will base my decision on whichever college has the best parties and the cutest boys. Oh, and where I feel comfortable with the parties and the boys.
And the guidance counselor at school tries to make us seniors think the process is so complicated. I mean, it’s really quite simple.
But the good news is that college visits are an excuse to go party at college with your parents’ approval!
With even your teachers’ approval. All of our teachers are so happy that Phillip and I are setting such a good example for the other students and taking initiative, that they waived all of our homework for the weekend.
“You don’t need to worry about that pesky stuff,” Mrs. Reece told me. “You need to fully immerse yourselves in the collegiate experience.”
Yes, she actually said those words. I told Phillip I planned to fully immerse myself, alright! Of course, that’s when he looked a little nervous.
And my parents are also proud that I am taking my college choice so seriously. I mean, I did sort of tell them that I had to start early so I could try for early scholarships.
Do they even have early scholarships? And if they do, I’m thinking I had to apply for them junior year, but oh well. I’m not even sure.
I suppose I’ll have to get online and look that up while I’m there, because I know that will be the first question they’ll ask when I see them. Phillip and I have to be on our best behavior Saturday, when we meet our parents and the Diamonds for tailgating before the Husker game. It will be imperative that we act like this is serious.
I’d really like to know who came up with the whole guise of the college recruitment visit.
They were brilliant!
Under no other circumstances would your parents allow you to go away for the weekend, completely un-chaperoned!
Now, don’t get me wrong. When looking at colleges you should decide what is important to you and organize and prioritize. I have made a list of the things that are a DON’T MISS!
Now I appreciate the fact that academics are important, but I really believe that the college’s social—can you say party?!—atmosphere is stratospherically more important.
And, let’s face it. I can get an education anywhere, right? But I’m going to have to live with these people for four, hopefully only four, years. So, it’s imperative that I really do find a place where I will feel comfortable.
Of course, Dad made Phillip have a sit down with him to discuss the rules for the weekend. Although, really, I think Dad would let me go just about anywhere if it meant I wasn’t with Jake. Let’s just say he hasn’t exactly made Jake feel like part of the family. But that’s a whole other story.
“So, what did he tell you again?” I ask Phillip for the hundredth time because this really cracks me up.
“I am holding you personally responsible, Phillip.” Phillip does a perfect imitation of my dad’s deep voice. “She’d better not get drunk, stoned, pregnant, or dead.”
I laugh some more.
Little does he know, Phillip, who is still by far the most responsible of the three of us, has turned into a full-fledged partier this year.
It’s going to be killer.
Danny called me last night. He was laughing, telling me that Dad had talked to him too. He basically threatened them both with bodily harm if they let anything happen to me.
Here’s the other great thing. Phillip and I are staying with Danny.
Yes, my parents are letting me spend the night with a boy. Okay, it’s a boy that they trust, sorta, but I just find this all so hard to believe.
Our goal is to get to Lincoln in time to see part of Danny’s football practice. We lied and told him that we would be there later, because we want to surprise him.
Danny told me we’re going to sit on the roof of his dorm after practice to get some sun. “So wear or bring a swimsuit,” he had said.
When I questioned him further on what college girls wear, I got no answers, other than, Uh, shorts, jeans, you know.
No . . . I don’t. That’s why I’m asking!
But I gave up and, in the end, let Lisa pack for me. Which is a really scary thought in and of itself.
Once on campus, Phillip makes me drive around forever trying to find a suitable place to park. I’m sure if we would have planned this better, we could have gotten a visitor parking pass, like it talks about online. But, well, we didn’t.
“Phillip, they don’t know who we are. I’m parking up close. I mean, I’m going to get a ticket regardless of where I park.” I’m completely confused by the array of threatening parking signs with cryptic letters on them. “So why not park close?”
As usual, I frustrate that boy. Regardless of his newfound partying skills, Phillip is still a follow the rules and go by the book kind of guy.
Dad’s probably right. I’ll be perfectly safe with him and won’t get into any trouble.
Darn it!
“Look!” Phillip cries out.
What? Really cute boy?
“There. Over there. A visitor parking lot and it’s fairly close. Go park there.”
I’m tempted to argue cuz it’s not that close, but I don’t need him
mad at me already.
So I say, “Great job, Phillip!” and park.
We get out of the car and walk down the wide, main pathway that leads through the campus and ends at Memorial Stadium. The campus is really beautiful. I’ve been here for lots of football games, but never really paid attention. There are huge, colorful trees and wide stretches of green grass. I love the cool old buildings with their neat architectural features. I wonder how they keep such old places looking so clean and shiny. There are all sorts of students. Some appear to be rushing to class; others are just mulling about. We see a group of girls pretending to study in their bikini tops. Phillip is looking at them and not where he is going and about trips over the curb.
“Real smooth,” I tease. I also notice a group of cute boys kicking around a soccer ball.
I have tried to dress appropriately for all possible collegiate activities. I’m wearing jean shorts and a very fitted vintage T-shirt. I hoped this outfit would blend in. I don’t want to be walking around here looking like a dumb high school girl! I notice that most of the girls are dressed similarly.
Oh, and look! There is an adorable couple walking toward us. They are holding hands, and they stop to kiss, and they are looking at each other like they are in love!
Oh, I so want that to be me.
I am so going here.
Where’s the sign-up sheet? I’m in!
We work our way down to the stadium and the practice fields. I’ve never seen a college practice before, so I’m really excited.
Well.
Now, I have to tell you that if you ever plan on stopping by the University to see the Huskers’ practice . . .
Don’t bother!
The place is like FORT KNOX!
I’m serious. There is so much security, I don’t think even the President of the United States, himself, could get in without a pass.
Actually, I know he couldn’t. He’s from a rival state!
The Bureau of Homeland Security ought to come here and take some lessons, because I’m telling you, if our country’s borders were guarded like this, we’d never have to worry about anything.
The security guys have Walkie Talkies and earpieces and everything. I tried to explain to one of the big men that I’m a friend of one of the players, but that didn’t seem to matter. He just looked at me with a face that said, Sure you are and Like I’ve never heard that one before. When that didn’t work, I asked him what was such a big secret. I mean a football play is pretty much a football play, isn’t it? And, please. I know that Nebraska has always been a powerhouse in collegiate football, but are there really that many people trying to spy on them? Is it really an issue?
Evidently.
So Phillip and I sat around and waited between some cool old columns, with our backs facing the practice field, until the guy told us it was officially over.
Danny is red shirting this year, so he plays quarterback for the Scout team. Besides leading the Scout team, his job this year is to practice, eat well, bulk up, get stronger, faster, and memorize the playbook upside down.
We find Danny walking up to the stadium from the practice field. He is pleasantly surprised to see us early.
“Well, we tried to watch practice,” I tell him.
“You shoulda told me you were coming early. I could’ve gotten you a pass,” Danny says, like we should have known this.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
“See, JJ,” Phillip smarts, “sometimes it pays to plan ahead.”
“Shut up, Phillip. I didn’t see you doing any planning. You could have taken care of it,” I tell that bratty boy.
“Hey,” Danny says, grinning, “want to play catch in the stadium?”
Now that gets my attention.
“Memorial Stadium?” I ask Danny. “Can we do that?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal.
“Uh, yeah!” I scream.
So we walk over there.
Well, I kinda run.
This is soooo exciting. I have been watching this field on TV since I was old enough to remember. And I’ve been to lots of games, but nobody told me you could walk on the field!
I stand in the middle of the field and spin in a circle.
This is awesome!
I grab Phillip and say, “Come on,” and drag him into the middle with me. We stand on the big red N.
“Look around, Phillip!” I say with excitement. “Did you ever realize just how huge this place is?”
I am overwhelmed.
“Ye-ah,” Phillip says, “I’ve been to football camp here, remember?”
Fine. Mr. Know It All.
Mr. Been There, Done That.
But I don’t care. I don’t let his lack of enthusiasm bother me. I just can’t believe how huge it is! I mean, the perspective is totally different from here than it is in the stands. What a rush it must be for the football players to hit the horseshoe in the tunnel, run out to the roar of the crowd, and look up to see all those zillions of people dressed in red.
Okay, so maybe not zillions; something like 80,000.
Whatever.
Don’t rain on my parade, because this is truly thrilling for me.
“Hey, Jay,” Danny says, walking towards me with a football in hand. “Go out for a pass.”
So I do, with Phillip guarding me. I run as fast as I can down the field of Memorial Stadium!
Sorry!
And look for the throw. I’m thinking this is not the best pass that Danny has ever thrown. And, well, it is a bit long, but I’m getting way into the moment and do not worry about the turf stains I may get on my T-shirt. So I dive for the pass and just miss it. At first it makes me mad because I don’t like to miss, but then I think, I just slid across the turf at Memorial Stadium!
Wow!
Brushing myself off, I walk back to Danny, who seems to think something is funny.
As I hand him the football, he says very seriously, “You missed, Jay. You owe me your shirt.”
What?
“No way, Danny! You never called SF (strip football) before the play,” I tell him.
“Yeah I did,” Danny says. Then he turns to Phillip and says, “You heard me, didn’t ya, Mac?”
Phillip grins and nods his head. “Yeah, I think I did.”
Ugh. He is such a liar!
“Well, even if you did, that was a shitty pass, and I shouldn’t have even tried to catch it.”
“Yeah, but you did.” Danny smirks.
I look around the field again. There are a bunch of players still mulling about, but no one is paying any attention to us. The only person even watching is some equipment dude, who has a bag of footballs for Danny to throw.
“You just want to see my bikini top, don’t you, Danny?”
“No, not really. I mean I’ll see it later anyway,” he says, very convincingly. He raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders.“Just trying to play fair.”
I look to Phillip, but can see he is going to be of no help in the matter.
Whatever.
“Fine,” I say.
I’ll show him.
I throw my shoulders back, hold my head up high, pull the elastic from my hair, and shake out my ponytail. I saunter towards Danny with what I hope is a sexy smile. Crossing my arms in front of me, I grab the bottom edge of my T-shirt and very slowly pull it up, revealing the skimpy, stringy American Flag bikini top underneath.
Practically like a stripper.
God, if Dad saw me now, you could forget grounding. He’d have me chained to my bed for the rest of high school.
Danny grins at me in amusement. He loves that he won this round.
I pull the shirt over my head and punch it into Danny’s stomach.
“Here. But if you throw another one like that,” I give him a pointed look. “I’m coming back for your pants.”
I hear equipment dude mutter something that sounded strangely like, God Bless America, and I can tell the mulling about has stopped and people are w
atching.
But I don’t really care about that. I just need to win.
I line up opposite Phillip and just a second before Danny is ready to call the snap, I whisper sneakily across to Phillip, while touching my chest. “Hey, Phillip, my boobs aren’t hanging out of this or anything are they?”
As I anticipated, Phillip looks straight at them. I mean he’s a guy. He can’t help himself. So he is caught a bit off guard when I tear past him. I run full bore down the field, but feel him gaining on me. I turn, jump up, and catch a perfectly thrown pass from Danny.
Shoot.
I really wanted that bossy boy’s pants.
April 20th
ONLY 1 WEEK TIL PROM!!
Big parties in Westown are usually held in a cornfield somewhere out in the boonies. This party is kind of hard to find, but I can see there are already a ton of cars here. As Lisa parks, my mind is on Jake. Jake and I have been dating, off and on, for over a year. I really like Jake, but love him?
That’s the big question.
I tell him that I love him, but I’m not sure that he’s like the real love of my life. I just can’t really picture myself married to him. I mean, he’s no prince. But he’s a decent high school boyfriend, and we usually have fun.
Well, we have fun when he’s not being a jerk.
Which is why our relationship has been as much off as it’s been on.
Jake was quarterback of this year’s football team. Granted, they sucked, but can you imagine how hard it would be to follow in Danny’s shoes? To follow a record-setter and State Champion? Danny was a great high school quarterback he’ll be a great college quarterback, and it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he went on to be a great pro quarterback.
