Been Searching For You

by Nicole Evelina

  Alex kissed our intertwined hands. “I only hope you find someone who is worthy of all the love you’ve already given him.”

  But I already have, I wanted to say. My stomach twisted as some underlying current in his words activated the fear center in my brain. “Do you think it’s not you?” I couldn’t keep the worry out of my voice.

  “I certainly hope it is me.” He straightened, lifting me to my feet. “And I intend to do everything I can to live up to the faith you’ve put in this man.” His lips pressed against mine for an all-too-brief moment. “Speaking of, you should be getting ready for your birthday celebration.” He kissed my forehead and tried to disentangle himself from my arms. “You know the rules. Dress for the red carpet. I’ll be here at seven.”

  Once he was gone, I wedged my twentieth letter into the box—yes, I’d counted them—only to find it was the last one that would fit. My stomach did a little flip-flop as my superstitious side read all kinds of meanings into that. Did this mean we would finally meet? That we already had? That I should stop writing them? Or did it just mean I needed a bigger box?

  Shaking my head at my own silliness, I stepped into the shower and made sure to lather up with the peach soap Alex liked so much. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be alone. As I toweled off, I texted Mia, hoping she was home.

  Five minutes later, my door slammed, followed by, “You can’t stand to be alone on your birthday, can you?” as Mia flitted into my bedroom.

  I was standing in front of my closet in my bra and underwear, trying to decide which dress to wear. Most women, especially thirty-something non-celebrities, didn’t have many fancy dress choices, but thanks to Mia’s modeling gigs and Hollywood soirées, over the last three years, I had amassed quite a selection of couture frocks. It was a good deal; after all, it cost only a fraction of the retail price to have them tailored to my smaller frame.

  “Hello to you too.” I gestured toward the dresses hanging neatly in clear plastic bags. “Thank you for the hand-me-downs, by the way.”

  Mia waved away the compliment and made a dismissive sound. “I’m just glad someone could take them. I was running out of room.”

  I bit my lip so I didn’t say something about most people not having that problem. I held up a burgundy dress. “What do you think of this one? Too Valentine’s Day?”

  Mia shook her head. “I think it’s perfect. Alex is going to be busy on Valentine’s Day, right? So you should roll that into tonight—make it an anniversary-Valentine’s-birthday smash.” She bumped my hip. “Just imagine how hot the sex will be.”

  I pulled the dress over my head, smoothing out the flared skirt. It fell just to mid-calf, making it nice enough for anything Alex could think up but not as restrictive as a formal ball gown. Mia came around behind me, making sure the scalloped ruffle at the neck lay right. When one part didn’t behave, she dragged me into the bathroom and subdued it with a blast of steam from my facial machine.

  “You’d be amazed the tricks you learn backstage at a fashion show,” she said by way of explanation.

  She insisted on doing my makeup and hair, which she braided into an elegant roll with a few strands curled into corkscrews around my face.

  After looking me over a few times, she plucked a red silk rose out of an arrangement on my nightstand and pinned it behind my ear. “Now you’re ready.”

  “Thanks for being my stylist, Mia.”

  She hugged me. “Happy to be of service.”

  “So, what are you up to tonight?” I asked while I put on my jewelry.

  She shrugged. “Miles and I are going out. The usual.”

  “Nothing is usual with you.”

  “Touché.”

  When the doorbell rang, Mia beat me to the door, opening it with a growl that would have made Catwoman proud.

  I peered around her, and there was Alex, looking every inch a movie star, more handsome than any James Bond Hollywood could dream up, in his finely tailored tux, gray vest, and matching tie.

  “Damn! Are you sure you don’t want to date a supermodel?” Mia asked.

  Alex shouldered past her without a word, never taking his eyes off me. “Wow. You are officially the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

  I smiled. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”

  Behind him, Mia huffed. “I’ll take that as a no.” She blew a loud kiss in my direction. “Happy birthday, dear.” Then she slammed the front door with as much vigor as she had on the way in.

  Alex shook his head before surprising me with a flourishing bow. “My lady, your carriage awaits.”

  Taking his arm, I let him lead me down to the street, where I found out he meant it literally.

  I placed a hand over my heart. “I’ve never taken a carriage ride before.”

  His wicked grin melted my heart. “As I’ve said many times, I enjoy being your first.” He reached into his breast pocket and retrieved two tickets. “That’s why, tonight, I’m taking you to your first ballet.”

  I covered my mouth with my white gloved hands, careful not to get red lipstick on them. “Oh, Alex, I feel just like I’m in Pretty Woman, red dress and all.”

  “I hope I don’t make you feel like a prostitute.” He chuckled darkly.

  “No, that’s not what I mean at all. I feel like you’ve transported me into a fairy tale. Pretty Woman is a modern-day Cinderella, isn’t it?”

  Alex’s brow wrinkled as he considered it. “I’ve never thought about it that way, but I guess it is. Lucky for you, look what ballet we’re going to see.”

  I squinted, inspecting the ticket. “Cinderella.” I smiled at him. “I couldn’t have done that if I’d tried.”

  “It’s fate, I tell you.”

  Snuggled together under mounds of blankets, we pulled up in front of the glass-fronted Harris Theater just as a bus full of tourists in dresses and suits was letting out. A few of them stopped to take photos of us as though we were part of the event or a celebrity couple on display. As we made our way to our seats—impressively close to the stage—I wondered what tale they’d invented for us. We were obviously too old for prom. Did they think us part of a wedding party, or did any of them perhaps guess right that I was an incredibly lucky girl on the date of a lifetime?

  “In case I forget to say it later, thank you for a lovely night,” I said to Alex amid the low murmur of guests getting situated for the performance.

  “You are most welcome. You deserve every moment. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, Annabeth.” He entwined my gloved arm with his.

  The orchestra played the opening notes of the overture, the curtain rose, and I was immediately transported into another world, one where everyone was tall, thin, and graceful and even Cinderella’s “ugly” stepsisters were beautiful. My childhood love for dance reasserted itself as I watched the dancers float effortlessly across the stage, rise to impossible heights en pointe, and spin with dizzying precision. Envying their grace and fluidity, I made a mental note to work out more and maybe even investigate an adult ballet class. That would no doubt be an unmitigated disaster, but at least I could say I tried. By the second act, I was completely absorbed, as invested in the world, the story, and its characters as if I were reading a book. Thanks to the orchestra, every emotion was heightened—yes, I cried when the prince and Cinderella married amid a shower of golden confetti—and I felt as though I were floating with the dancers on the notes of music.

  The dream-trance didn’t end with curtain call.

  “That was so beautiful,” I said, gliding up to Alex outside the theatre doing my best ballerina walk.

  He took my hand and spun me around. “You are beautiful.”

  Once my head stopped whirling, I saw that our carriage had been replaced by a sleek black town car. “I think our fairy godmother got it backward. Isn’t it supposed to turn into a carriage?”

  Alex laughed. “You may be right about that. But the car will have to do for now.” He glanced at his watch. “It may be dark, but the
night is still young, and so are we. Shall we head to our next stop?”

  I slid into the car, wondering where that might be, but Alex gave no directions to the driver. He must have prearranged our entire evening.

  I looked at him through my lashes and gave him my best pout. “Can’t I have one tiny little hint?” I held up my fingers about an inch apart.

  “I don’t give hints to my students, and I’m not going to make an exception for you. You’ll see shortly.”

  I huffed out my frustration.

  Not long after, we pulled up to Navy Pier.

  “Um, Alex,” I said as he led me down the boardwalk, “aren’t we a little overdressed?”

  He stopped in front of one of the yachts. “Not for the Odyssey.” He nodded toward the massive multileveled mini-cruise ship in front of us.

  My jaw dropped. “We’re going on there?”

  After checking Alex’s driver’s license, the gangplank attendant unhooked the velvet rope barring our way.

  Alex gestured for me to go ahead of him. “After you, my lady.”

  A smiling woman greeted us inside and took our coats while a waiter offered us each a sparkling flute of champagne.

  “Watch out, Alex, I may get used to this,” I teased as we followed the woman to what I assumed was the main seating area. She pushed open a large wooden door, and I stepped inside with Alex’s hand at the small of my back.

  “Surprise!” sang a chorus of voices.

  My heart stopped, and for a moment, I couldn’t take in what was happening. Familiar faces grinned at me. Then my mind reset itself, and I recognized my friends and coworkers.

  Miles was the first to greet me, slipping an arm around my neck. “You didn’t have a clue, did you?” He let out a satisfied chuckle. “He got you good.”

  I clutched at my heart, still fighting to recover. “Yes, yes, he did. I can’t believe you were in on this the whole time.” I whacked him with my purse. “You evil liar. Making me think you forgot my birthday.”

  “He wasn’t the only one.” Mia tottered over to me.

  I pointed at her. “You. You knew the whole time we were getting ready, and you didn’t tell me. ‘The usual’ my ass.”

  “Guilty as charged,” she said with a flourish of her martini glass.

  Alex touched my lower back, and I smiled at him. “We should probably take our seats. They will want to serve dinner soon.”

  Mia saluted him. “Aye, aye, Captain.” She was still giggling as Miles led her into the larger banquet room.

  Alex held out my chair at a specially decorated sweetheart table tucked into one corner. A single red rose adorned the center of the table along with two white tapers in glittering crystal holders. We could still see our guests but were secluded enough to feel like we were on a solo date at the same time.

  “How is it that every time I’m with you, I feel like a princess?” I asked him while a waiter refilled our champagne flutes.

  He took my hand, stroking my palm with his thumb. “That’s the idea.”

  We had already eaten the best lobster bisque I’d ever tasted and were tucking into seared sea scallops when I noticed Nick sitting with Miles and Mia.

  I leaned toward Alex. “Who invited him?”

  Alex looked up. “I have no idea. He certainly wasn’t on my list.”

  Mia was scowling at him.

  “Good to know I’m not the only one he annoys the hell out of.”

  “I think that’s universal.” Alex laughed.

  I did my best to ignore him after that, but it wasn’t easy. I felt his eyes on me, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Ex-boyfriend/boss in the same room with current boyfriend was a dangerous combination at the best of times—Christmas had taught me that. Now here we were again.

  When the dessert plates were cleared, Alex excused himself only to reappear in front of the band setting up in front of a small square dance floor. He tapped once on the microphone to make sure it was on. “Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming tonight and helping make Annabeth’s birthday so special. Some of you may not know that she and I met a year ago today, so that makes this an even more important night for us.”

  Miles whistled, and a few people in the crowd cheered, making my face flush in embarrassment.

  “Anyway, Annabeth, this song is for you, my ‘Lady in Red.’”

  The familiar opening bars of the song, played at every single wedding reception since it had debuted in 1986, wafted through the air and pulled me toward the stage as though I was under a spell. I smiled as Alex held his arms out to me, and I practically melted into them.

  “Did I ever tell you this is my mom and dad’s favorite song?” I asked, leaning my head against Alex’s chest, eyes closed as we swayed to the music. “They even christened it their new wedding song when they renewed their vows. Dad says Mom was wearing red the night they met.”

  “It must be a lucky color.”

  We danced in quiet peace until the song ended, then Alex pulled me into a deep kiss.

  When I opened my eyes again, Nick was standing next to us. “May I cut in?”

  “I’d prefer if you didn’t.” Alex’s tone was cool but polite.

  “Come on, just one dance between old friends.”

  Alex’s jaw throbbed in irritation, and he looked to me for guidance.

  “Please?” Nick said.

  Was it my imagination, or was he leering at me? Damn it. Mia was getting into my head already.

  I faked a smile. “One song. That’s it.” The look I gave him said I wouldn’t tolerate any funny business.

  But I needn’t have worried. Nick was courteous in his handling of me, keeping enough distance between us that even our eighth-grade teacher, Sister Agnes, would have been pleased.

  “Happy birthday, Annabeth,” Nick said, seeking my eyes.

  I refused to look at him, preferring to watch the couples swirling around us. “Thanks.”

  “And I understand congratulations are in order for Alex as well.”

  My head snapped around so I was staring at him in wide-eyed surprise. “What are you talking about?”

  Nick’s lips formed a silent “oh,” and he winced. “He didn’t tell you yet, did he?”

  “Tell me what?”

  Nick looked around as though seeking escape. “You’d better ask him. It’s not really my business.”

  I grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at me. “You brought it up. It’s your business now. Out with it, Zarrino.”

  Nick rubbed his chin as I released my grip. “It’s about Oxford—”

  Alex appeared at my side then, wedging himself between us, his back toward Nick. “Is everything all right?”

  I swallowed. “Nick just said you have news about Oxford.”

  Alex’s shoulders slumped slightly. “I was hoping to keep that under wraps until tomorrow.” He shot Nick a scornful look. “Let’s talk about this somewhere private.”

  Alex led me out onto the deck, draping his suit coat around me for warmth and loosening his tie.

  “Well?” I tapped my foot, unsure whether I should be furious with him for telling Nick something before me or scared of what I didn’t know.

  “I got final confirmation from Oxford this morning. They’ve asked me to lecture in Trinity term, which starts in April.”

  My stomach clenched. Here was my fear realized. “That’s wonderful.” I tried to force warmth into my voice, but I wasn’t entirely successful. “Why did you think you had to wait to tell me?”

  “There’s more. They’ve invited me to stay the summer to do some research. John Fitzpatrick, the author of the book you gave me at Christmas, will be joining me to work on our journal article.”

  My heart sank like a stone to my feet. Staying the summer meant he would be gone five, maybe six, months. That was a lot longer than either of us had bargained for. I looked up at him, certain my disappointment showed in my face.

  “When do you leave?” Even as I asked, an image o
f Regina accusing him of choosing his career over her formed in my mind. No, that wasn’t what this was. This was totally different. It was an opportunity of a lifetime.

  “I’ve got about a month.”

  I clutched his hand. “Well, then we’d better make it a good one,” I said with mock sincerity that was painful to my own ears.

  We stood in silence for a while, shivering and looking out at the black void of the lake, neither of us wanting to face the other. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Regina had accused him of and wondering if that was what he was doing with me. But something else was bothering me even more.

  “There’s one thing I don’t understand,” I finally said.

  “What’s that?”

  “How the hell did Nick know before I did?” I couldn’t help the speck of spite that crept into my voice.

  Alex ran a hand across his face. “We had a meeting with the dean today, and he mentioned that I wouldn’t be here for the last few months of the project so Nick would need to plan around me. That’s all. I swear.”

  I reached up to touch his cheek but only grazed his chin when he pulled away. “I’m sorry, Alex. This is just a bit of a shock. Then to have him of all people…”

  “I know. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you yet.”

  “I really am happy for you.”

  He relaxed and pulled me to him. “I know you are.”

  I was also blisteringly mad at him for not texting or calling me the moment he found out, but taking it out on him now wouldn’t do either of us any good.

  We both stumbled as the ship slowly began to turn.

  “They’re heading back to port. We should probably go back inside for the end of the festivities,” he said.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  March

  The dreaded day was here. Alex was packing his suitcases, padding around his apartment—which he was subletting to a friend while he was gone—in bare feet, and grabbing this and that as final thoughts occurred to him. Neither of us had slept, too preoccupied by our coming separation to miss a single second of what time remained to us.