The Firefighter’s Secret Baby
Page 9
“I’m not the bad guy here,” Max said.
“No…” Sam closed her eyes.
It wasn’t his fault that she’d never let herself trust Max or any of his deputies. She’d never really trusted anybody except Luca—a long time ago, back when he’d seemed like her knight in shining armor.
“It’s no one’s fault I have to walk away from my child now,” she admitted, “but mine.”
“There has to be another way,” Randy insisted.
She finally looked up at him—a new knight who wanted her to believe he could make the loneliness go away. “You have to go with our baby. I have to go with Max. Everyone has to be safe.”
“No matter what that does to you?” Randy cupped her cheek. “I was angry. For a few minutes all I could see was what this is doing to me and my life. But when I really looked into your eyes…This is killing you, Sam. There has to be another way.”
“How about a compromise?” a rough voice intruded.
“What?” Sam asked Charlie.
“You can’t keep your baby, but you’re clearly not well enough to get through a separation like this alone.” Charlie’s gaze switched to Max and grew cold. “You can only cover two protection teams. Why does that have to mean Sam goes back to dealing with this on her own?”
Randy was nodding. Smiling. Confronting Max himself.
“My family will take the baby with them,” he said. “But I’m staying with Sam.”
“No,” Max said. “Out of the question.”
“Then your plan must be to drive Sam into a nervous breakdown.” Charlie tugged his sister to his side. “Look at what this is doing to the witness you need rested and ready to testify in federal court. Let my brother help Sam, and maybe you’ve got a shot at nailing this Luca character.”
“I have a teenager to help look after the baby,” Emma assured Sam, “and a husband who loves kids and is the poster boy for protecting and serving. Your daughter will be safe.” She glanced toward Max. “And you won’t have any problems with us abiding by your protection guidelines.”
“We’re well aware of your husband’s connections with state and federal agencies, Mrs. Downing.” Max didn’t sound reassured. “The good detective digging into Sam’s situation wasn’t a wise move.”
“He’ll make sure the rest of us toe the line from here on out,” Emma insisted. “Rick was ready to wring my neck for insisting to see my brother. You want that baby hidden for as long as you need her to be? You want Sam calm enough to be of any use to you?” Emma blasted Sam with cat-green eyes that were alive with her brother’s intelligence and determination. “Leave the baby with me, and Randy with the woman he’s determined to help.”
Sam realized her hand had somehow found its way into Randy’s grasp.
“Chris and I will be there, too,” Charlie promised her. “You don’t have to worry. My brothers and sister and I were separated as children. Emma fought to get us all back. Our family stays together.” He nodded toward the infant sounds still coming from the other room. “All of our family.”
Family…
Randy’s free hand cupped her cheek. “Trust them. Trust me, Sam, before you lose everything.”
“Trust?” She choked on the word.
Max stared at them all with the eye of a gambler weighing his odds.
The baby started crying in earnest.
Sam slipped away from the living nightmare, leaving Max to do his dirty work. No way would he cave to the Montgomerys’ demands. And Sam had to see her daughter one last time before she was gone.
In the adjoining room, Glinda glanced over Sam’s shoulder before handing over the baby. Then she and another deputy Sam didn’t know left.
She snuggled her daughter’s wriggling body close, sensing someone behind her. She knew somehow that it was Max who’d followed her, even though she desperately wanted it to be Randy. She turned to watch Max close the door on the conversation in the other room.
“I am sorry you can’t keep her,” he said.
“I don’t have a choice. You’ve made that clear.”
“About the baby, no. About trusting her father to help you—”
“Don’t tell me you actually think Randy should stay with me!”
“You’re exhausted and emotionally drained. If having Montgomery around is what’s best for you, if he’s willing to risk—”
“Like Peter was willing to risk his life to stay with me?”
Sam’s fiancé had been blinded by his need to protect her, too. She could still see Peter’s smile as he’d promised to love her and take care of her forever. Then her memory fast-forwarded to an image of him bleeding to death, his head still on the pillow they’d shared, his eyes open, staring up at her.
Luca’s explanation for the killing?
He’d been doing what was best for Sam. What was best for the family.
“My other team will keep the Montgomerys and your daughter safe,” Max promised. “No one will be looking their way. They’re a good family. They’re—”
“They’re better than anything I could have dreamed up for my child.” Sam kissed her daughter’s head, fighting more useless tears.
“It will only be for a few more weeks,” Max promised. “The prosecutor is pushing the judge to lock down the grand jury. Once this is over, you and your baby—”
“No.” Sam handed over the baby she couldn’t bring herself to name.
It was time to face reality. This wasn’t about her guilt over Peter, or her fear of what Randy might come to mean to her if he didn’t leave. This was about a baby, a new life. A new chance she’d sacrifice anything to see come true. Even her own heart.
“She’s Randy’s baby,” she said as Max gazed down at her daughter. “The Montgomery family is where she belongs. Just look at how they’ve pulled together, and they’ve had only a few days to process all of this. My daughter should be with them when this is over, not running to God knows where and pretending to be someone else. Letting the Montgomerys raise her is the only way this will ever be right.”
Max’s head snapped up. “What did you say?”
Sam hugged her injured arm and turned away. “Luca’s never going to stop, Max. It’ll be him or someone he sends, hunting me for the rest of my life. The prosecutor made that clear from day one. They could keep coming forever. Gabby’s already a part of it, but I won’t put a baby through this. Never feeling safe. Never being free of it. Place her with the Montgomerys. Permanently. The federal prosecutor will know what kind of paperwork needs to be filed. Send Randy back with them tonight. Make sure he never finds me again. Do that, and I’ll be a good girl from now on.”
“You…you can’t be serious.”
“Do it, or I’ll run again the first chance I get. I won’t put my daughter in any more danger than I already have. Keep her away from me.”
There was a long pause. Followed by the door to the other room opening with a soft whoosh that sounded like Sam’s last hope slipping away. But Max’s agreement meant there was still a chance for her daughter to be free of this. Somehow that was going to have to be enough.
Sam could hear quiet discussion, as if the Montgomerys were too stunned by her decision to manage anything louder. Randy’s voice raised once. Just once. Then there was only silence, followed by the sound of another door opening and closing—the one to the hallway beyond the other room.
Randy and his family were on their way. They’d be safe now.
It seemed like forever before Max’s footsteps approached.
“So where to now?” Sam wiped at the tears she’d finally let fall. She couldn’t face him yet, but it was time to face the commitment she’d made. “No more coloring outside the lines, I swear. Keep my child and her father safe, and I’ll be a model protectee from now on.”
“That’s good to hear,” said the last voice she expected to hear.
Sam spun around so fast, she clung to her IV stand for balance.
“Randy?” He filled the doorway, all s
trength and determination that made her heart hurt with something too close to hope.
“But why don’t we agree,” he continued, “that our daughter’s father can take care of himself, and move on to worrying about her mother?”
A sob escaped Sam. A flood of disbelief that left her shaking. Before she knew it, Randy had pulled her into the safety of his arms.
How could he still be there?
After everything she’d said, she was right where she needed to be—in his arms. He tipped her face up. His expression was wary, giving nothing away. But his thumb wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Don’t…” she begged.
He kissed her words away, and she couldn’t keep her lips from clinging, or her heart from needing this to really be real. That’s what Gabby had always called their dream of a family that felt on the inside what it appeared on the outside. Close. Tight. Safe. Never-ending.
But Sam had to remember that Randy was merely a man determined to protect and serve. Not a lover losing his heart the way she was. He was doing the right thing for his child.
This wasn’t a forever thing.
It could only end bloody for her.
But there was no stopping the secret desire bubbling up.
“Don’t leave me, Randy. Please…”
RANDY HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT Emma was the most amazing woman he’d ever met. She’d sacrificed her childhood to keep their family together.
But Sam…She’d intended to send her baby away. For good, her federal marshal had said. She’d been willing to give up the daughter who clearly meant everything to her, because she was convinced it was the only way to keep the child safe. In no small part because Randy had unloaded on her and made her out to be responsible for everything that had happened.
What had that decision cost her?
This wasn’t the first time she’d tried to slip away.
Leaving him in Savannah hadn’t been a rejection. It had been about protecting him, just like she was trying to protect their daughter now. But he’d seen her face when she’d looked down at her child. They all had. Telling Dean to give her baby away must have killed her, but she’d done what she’d thought she had to.
That kind of strength and courage was a beauty that went deeper than Sam’s sweet face. It was the essence of the woman in his arms—the same woman he hadn’t been able to stay clear of in Savannah.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her, trying to reassure her with touch.
Sam shook her head, rejecting the promise he had no right to make after the way he’d behaved. Randy held on tighter, careful of her injuries but determined to get through.
She didn’t need to protect herself from him. Not now. Not ever. And he didn’t care how many of Dean’s agents wandered in the room to witness his claim.
When Sam wilted against him and welcomed his deepening touch, Randy accepted that what he needed from her went far beyond earning her trust. Because no matter how much he’d let Sam down, she clearly craved this, too. This closeness. This bizarre knowing that they somehow belonged together, no matter how little time they had.
Sam held on tighter, as if she couldn’t feel enough of him. Her unspoken need drove his higher, until she pulled away.
“We can’t.” She looked to the other room. “Max…”
“They’re giving us some time before we have to go.” Randy backed them into the half-open door, shutting it the rest of the way. He gently leaned her against it, then covered Sam’s body with his. “Max’s worried—”
“—about his protection detail.” She shied away from Randy’s next kiss.
“He’s worried about you.” Randy caught her face in his palms and kissed the bruise beneath her right eye. Then her nose. Her mouth. When her eyes closed, he kissed each lid. “I’m worried about you. You’re running on adrenaline, Sam. You’re being forced to make life and death decisions that are ripping your heart out. You shouldn’t even be out of the hospital.”
“It…” Her voice had deepened to a husky timbre. “I’m doing what’s best for the baby. For your family.”
“But not for you.”
Randy nipped her neck just below her ear, where he remembered she liked it. Sam’s legs buckled. She’d have fallen, but his palm cupped the softness of her bottom. Nestled it tighter against him. Need surged in a dizzying rush.
“Forget every stupid thing I said before,” he said. “Forget everything except that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Stop running, Sam. Slow down long enough to choose what’s best for you. Let me help you do that.”
She was staring at him as if she’d never seen him before. Never felt what he was making her feel. It was the same expression he’d seen on her face during those unguarded hours in March. It had intrigued him then. Now, the lost emptiness in her gaze broke his heart.
“Sam…”
She was staring at his mouth like an addict craving her next fix.
Don’t leave me, Randy…
His lips found hers in the most important kiss of his life. Sam’s fingers clenched in his shirt, then flattened across his chest, then dug in again as passion rushed through them. She was half his size and weak as a kitten. But the strength of her need was the same as last spring—when she’d trusted and let go and become a living fire in his arms, no matter how much danger she’d been in even then.
“That’s right.” The memory of the touch and taste of her flooded him. “I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. This is real, Sam. Trust it. No one, not even this Luca of yours, is going to get to you while I’m here.”
Sam tensed, her eyes fluttering open.
“Shh…” Randy cursed himself for ruining the moment. He smoothed his hand down the delicate curves motherhood had added to her body. He rested his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. For all of this. For everything you’ve been through. For making it worse, because—”
“It…It’s not your fault.”
“None of this is your fault, either.” Randy sighed when she shook her head. “You’re hell-bent on protecting a newborn life, a sister, me and my family. Half of us you’ve barely met, but you’re going to protect us. And damn it, if that kind of bravery doesn’t make it impossible for me to do anything but want to kiss you again.”
Sam licked her lower lip, torturing him.
“But you said…” She shook her head instead of continuing. “You don’t understand—”
“I understand all I have to for now. Just—”
“No, you don’t. There are things you can’t know—”
“The only things I care about are you and our child.”
“A child you took home with you but never named?” Her stare held his.
“I…” Why hadn’t he even thought of naming the baby? “It’s just that she never really seemed real, until I saw her in your arms. Then—”
“It’s okay.” Sam’s smile was brittle, but she made it stick. “I understand. I couldn’t name her, either. It would make what I knew I had to do harder. But you and your family…You’ll have plenty of time for that, once I’m out of the picture. You’ll be free to—”
“You’re not out of the picture.” He’d told Dean he’d handle this. That he’d make Sam see reason.
“After the trial, I—”
“You’ll be naming your daughter yourself, once we’re sure you’re both safe.”
“She’s your daughter now. You said so yourself.”
“She’s our daughter. I was talking stupid when I first got here. Don’t for a minute think that—”
“Think what? That I don’t belong with you and your cozy family? You were right. Everything you said about me and this insanity was right on. You let me see her. H-hold her. Now get away from me. Whatever responsibility you feel toward me, get over it. Protect our daughter and your family from the darkness I’ve brought into your life. That’s all you owe me.”
“And walking away from us—our baby and me and my brothers and sister when they
’re willing to stand by you—walking away from what you need is your only option? Is that what you want me to believe?”
“What exactly do you think I need?” She grew rigid in his arms. “Who are you to tell me what to think and feel, besides someone who looked like he wanted to spit on me not long after discovering that I was still alive. What? You suddenly think you have the answer to all my problems now, just because you feel guilty for being an asshole?”
“Maybe I’m someone who wants you to have a future, instead of this insane half life you seem resigned to live.”
Randy blinked, as stunned as Sam seemed by what he’d just said. Until that moment, thoughts of the future—their future—hadn’t been part of the deal. At least not consciously.
But thinking of Sam and their daughter starting over somewhere else, away from him…
“A future?” Sam yanked away as if he’d slapped her, leaving his body aching to feel hers close again. “The only future I have is—”
The boom of an explosion obliterated the rest of her tirade.
The room shook. The floor shuddered beneath them. Sam screamed and lost her balance.
“I’ve got you!” Randy caught her and pulled them both to the ground, rolling so that Sam landed on top.
Her IV stand crashed down beside them.
The lights flickered, then went out.
“What…?” Sam gasped. “What was that?”
“I don’t know.” The building was still shaking. “Lie still and let me check you out.”
Basic medical training took over. He searched blindly until he found her IV. The needle was still in place. His hands fluttered firmly but gently down her body. No sign of injuries to her arms, legs or ribs. Only then did Randy pull them both up until they were sitting. He tucked Sam to his side and tried to calm his own breathing.
Alarms sounded.
The sprinklers sputtered to life, raining freezing water down on them.
“Fire!” Sam shrank against him.
“Not necessarily.” But…“Max and his men—where are they? They should be posted outside every door, even if some of them left with my family.”
Charlie and Emma.
The baby.