Healing Fears (Smokey Mountain Book 3)

by Stella Moore

  “What do you mean nope?”

  “I mean, I’m not putting you down just yet. You and I are going someplace quiet to have ourselves a nice little chat.”

  She stopped her attempts to escape. “You’re not taking me home?”

  “I will, after our talk. You’ll hear me out, Elisa Hawthorne, and then we’ll decide what our next move is.”

  She had no desire to decide anything with him, but she realized fighting him wasn’t getting her anywhere, so she tried a different tack. “If you put me down, I promise not to run away.”

  “I appreciate that, but I kind of like you right where you are.” The swat to her backside made her jerk over his shoulder in shock.

  “Hey! Hands to yourself, mister!”

  He chuckled. “I’m not making any promises.”

  She started to ask him just what the hell he meant by that, but they’d arrived at his truck. He opened the door and plopped her unceremoniously onto the bench seat. “Buckle up,” he said before shutting the door on her.

  It crossed her mind that she could run. But he’d just catch her again. And she was, despite herself, insanely curious about this chat he wanted to have.

  “So what did you want to talk about?” she asked as soon as he’d climbed in the cab with her.

  Paul shook his head. “You’ve never had much patience, have you? And I told you to put your seat belt on, young lady.”

  “Young lady? You sound like my dad. Seat belts are stupid, anyway.”

  He solved the problem by simply reaching across her and tugging the belt across her torso. “They’re not stupid, and if I ever catch you not wearing one, you’ll have another type of belt to deal with.”

  She ignored the fluttering in her belly. No way in hell was she getting turned on by some guy ordering her around.

  Only this wasn’t just some guy. This was the boy she’d fallen for at eight years old, mooned over at twelve, and wept over at sixteen. So yeah, maybe she was having the tiniest bit of a reaction to him. But it was fine. She could handle it. She could handle him.

  “You still haven’t told me what you want to talk about,” she pointed out, shifting in her seat to face him.

  “Do your parents know where you are tonight?”

  Elisa rolled her eyes. “Not exactly. They think I’m at Penny’s.”

  “I don’t guess they’ll be too pleased to find out you weren’t.”

  She shrugged and turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. “It doesn’t matter. I’m an adult. They can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

  Paul laughed, and the sound of it had her tummy fluttering again. God, he was sexy, with that shaggy hair already turning to gold from the sun, even though summer hadn’t officially started yet. Add in that lean, runner’s body and eyes the color of smoke and it was no wonder the girls went crazy for him.

  Other girls, anyway. Definitely not Elisa Hawthorne, though. No, sir. She’d gotten over that nonsense a long time ago.

  They stayed silent for a while, until Paul turned off the main road. “Where are we going?” Elisa asked, straining to see their surroundings in the pale moonlight.

  “I’m surprised you don’t recognize where we are. It’s your favorite spot.” When he stopped the truck, she noticed the light from his headlights dancing across the surface of the water.

  “The lake? Why are we at the lake?”

  “I told you I wanted to talk. I thought you’d be more relaxed here.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face her. “Now. What the hell were you thinking tonight?”

  Elisa felt her lower lip poke out into a pout. “I was thinking I wanted to have some fun.”

  “Elisa.”

  Her name was a sigh on his lips, twisting her stomach into guilty knots.

  “You know how those parties go. They always end up getting busted up by the cops. You want to start your summer in jail?”

  “I wouldn’t have. I wasn’t doing anything illegal.”

  He raised an eyebrow at her, and the knots in her stomach tightened.

  “Really? I don’t remember you turning twenty-one recently.”

  She shifted in her seat, looking away from him. “Well, other than that. It’s not a big deal, though. Everyone does it.”

  “I don’t care about everyone. I care about you.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she insisted, her heart beginning to race. “I’m nothing more than a mistake to you and you know it. Now take me home.”

  “Nope.” In a move she wouldn’t appreciate until later, he slid across the bench seat, unsnapped her seat belt and hauled her over his lap all in one smooth move. When his hand cracked against her backside, she was, for once in her life, stunned into complete silence. The second slap snapped her out of it, and she tried to push up off his lap, but he had his arm around her waist so that she couldn’t move.

  “Paul, stop! This isn’t funny!” Her heart felt like it might beat out of her chest at any moment.

  “I know. There’s nothing funny about getting drunk at a party in the woods with no one to watch your back.” Two more swats had her backside burning under her cutoffs.

  “I had Penny!” Elisa protested, wiggling her hips to try and escape.

  “Penny? You mean the Penny who was so drunk she fell out of the back of a truck?” He ended the question with a flurry of swats that had her howling in protest.

  “Okay, okay, I get it! Bad choices were made! Please stop hitting me!”

  “It’s just a spanking, little bird.”

  Despite all of her promises to herself, her heart soared at his use of her nickname.

  “And I have a feeling there will be many more of these in our future.”

  He laid into her again, but Elisa could only focus on one thing. “Our future?” she asked quietly after the next set of spanks had ended.

  “Yes, Elisa. Our future. I’m in love with you, you little brat.”

  The declaration was ruined a bit by the obvious irritation in his voice, but she didn’t care.

  “God knows I tried not to be. But I’ve been in love with you since you crashed my twelfth birthday party with a horde of nine-year girls armed with squirt guns and pink water.”

  “If you’re in love with me, why are you beating me?” Elisa wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel about anything that had happened since he’d chased her into the woods.

  “I’m not beating you. I’m spanking you—because I love you and I want to see you make better choices. Speaking of, let’s finish this up and then we can talk some more.”

  With that, he started spanking her again, focusing his attention on the bottom swell of her ass cheeks, which happened to be exposed by the shorts she’d chosen. “By the way,” he said conversationally as he lit her ass on fire, “if you ever wear these shorts in public again, I’ll take a bundle of switches to your bare bottom.”

  He continued the spanking, until Elisa was sobbing over his lap, certain that the fires of Hades couldn’t be hotter than the fire in her bottom at that moment.

  “It’s okay, baby. It’s all done.” Paul rubbed her back in small, comforting circles as she cried herself out.

  The reality of what had just happened managed to push through the haze of pain. “I’m not your baby,” she sobbed, struggling to get up but finding herself still pinned in place.

  “That’s one of the things we need to talk about. I know I hurt you, and I can never take that pain away. But I would like, very much, to prove to you how much I love you. Please give me a second chance,” he finished quietly.

  He had hurt her. More than anyone before, or since. But the idea of being loved by him, of finally having everything she’d wanted for so long proved too tempting to turn away from. “Okay,” she said at length.

  “Really?”

  The hope she could hear in his voice erased the last of her doubts. “Yes, really. But if you screw it up again, I’ll kick your ass myself.”

  “Deal. Want to go for a swim?”


  Laughter broke through the tears she was still shedding. “You want me to get naked and swim with you after you just busted my ass?”

  “Hey, I just said swim. The naked part was your idea.”

  What the hell. Why not? Craning her neck to grin at him over her shoulder, she winked and said, “Race ya,” before shoving herself off his lap and out of his truck. Running for the shore, she pulled her tank over her head, letting it fall to the ground behind her as she ran. Hopping from one foot to the other, she ditched her shoes and then finally wiggled out of her shorts before running into the cool, refreshing water of the lake.

  The splashing behind her told her that Paul had joined her in the water. The idea of turning around and possibly seeing him naked suddenly seemed overwhelming and terrifying. So instead, she dove under the water, thrilling at the feel of her body slicing through the gentle waves as she swam.

  As soon as she came up for air, a strong arm snaked around her waist and yanked her close. She realized, with a pounding heart, that she was skin to skin with every inch of her childhood crush. With his arms around her, he lifted her to him and lowered his lips to hers.

  Fear fled in the face of love, and the unexpected desire stirring between her legs. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. It was everything she remembered, and so much more.

  “My beautiful, impulsive, bratty little bird,” Paul murmured against her lips. “I want you, but I won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”

  “I’ve been waiting for you for ten years,” she whispered back. “I want to give you everything.” Hoisting herself up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and poured everything she had into the kiss.

  Holding her with one arm, Paul swam backwards until he could stand, then easily lifted her out of the water, still wrapped around him.

  Kneeling, he laid her down, spread like a sacrificial offering before him. Running his hands up her legs, he stroked the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh. Elisa arched under his touch, trembling with a need she hadn’t known she could feel. Nobody had ever touched her like this. The few fumbling, inexperienced groping sessions she’d been a part of were nothing like what she was feeling in this moment.

  And when he stroked her there, where only her own hands had dared to explore, she thought she might die. She felt a familiar pressure building inside of her as he touched and teased her, and she pressed her hips against his hand, seeking the pleasure she instinctively knew he could give. And when it came, washing over her in crashing waves, she cried out, not caring if anyone heard her. She barely noticed when he shifted to hover over her, lowering his body hers.

  On the shore of the lake she loved, with the moonlight illuminating their skin, he took her with a single, deep thrust. Pain ripped through her, and she tightened around him, whimpering at the shocking intrusion.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Just give it a minute.” His voice was strangely tight, and she wondered if it had hurt him, too.

  Bit by bit, she felt herself relax around him. Looking up, she nodded at him to continue. When he shifted his hips away, pulling out of her, then sliding back in, she sighed at the sensation. It no longer hurt. In fact, she was certain nothing could ever feel as good as him moving inside of her. That familiar pressure was building again, and this time she felt herself clench around the length of him as she shuddered with pleasure.

  “Fuck,” Paul groaned, capturing her lips with his once again as he thrust into her one last time. When he collapsed next to her, she curled into his side, knowing without a doubt it was where she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

  Chapter 5

  Paul pulled Elisa closer to him, still reeling from the shock of knowing she’d just given herself to him. Even more so from the unexpected knowledge that he’d been her first. He’d heard the rumors about her, and now he could kick himself for simply believing them without asking her first.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you, little bird.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, as if it would somehow make up for him being such a complete ass.

  “For what? Spanking me?”

  The confusion in her voice made him smile, despite his aggravation with himself. “No. You deserved that. I meant for… I didn’t think you were a virgin.”

  He felt her tense in his arms. “Oh. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not. I should have asked you before. Are you okay?”

  She sat up and let out a decidedly unladylike snort. “Yeah. It’s great knowing you believed all those rumors about me. I want to go home.”

  “No. Not until we talk about this. I’m sorry, Elisa.”

  “Fine. We talked. Can I go now?”

  Talking obviously wasn’t going to help, so he sat up next to her and pulled her onto his lap, cradling her to his chest despite her feeble struggles. “I love you, Elisa Hawthorne. And you’re going to learn you can’t just walk away from me when your feelings are hurt, like you usually do.”

  “I don’t do that.”

  Paul chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I live two houses down from you and I’ve been in love with you almost half my life. You think I don’t know a few things about you?”

  “Like what?”

  He heard the challenge in the question, and rose to meet it. “Like this spot right here is where you go when you need to be alone. Because you bottle everything up inside until you feel like you’re going to explode. You tell everyone your favorite color is blue, because pink is too girly, but you secretly love pink. You underestimate yourself at every turn, despite the confidence you’ve gotten really good at faking for everyone else.” Gripping her chin, he forced her to look up at him. “And I know you’re never going to be with anyone else because I’m going to marry you. Don’t run from me again, Elisa.” Emotions swirled in the deep brown of her eyes. Doubt, suspicion, joy, love. And underneath it all, just a flicker of hope.

  “You’re awfully sure of yourself, Paul Davenport.”

  He grinned and gave her long, golden hair a playful tug. “Of course I am. You were made for me, and I’m not letting you go.” The doubt surfaced in her eyes again.

  “What about when you go back to college and I’m stuck here doing God knows what?”

  “What are you talking about? Penny said you were going to UT with us.”

  Elisa rolled her eyes, and he barely resisted the urge to put her back over his lap. “Penny has a lot of ideas and a big mouth. I’m not going to college.”

  “Oh yes you are, young lady.” The glare she sent him was undermined by her lower lip poking out in an adorable pout.

  “No, I’m not. I don’t need some useless college degree.”

  This time he didn’t resist the urge to flip her face down over his lap and pepper her pretty pink bottom with several hard swats. “You’re going to college, Elisa. And you’re going to tell me why you think otherwise.”

  “Because it’s stupid! Let me go, Paul!”

  He increased the strength and speed of the spanking, holding on tight as she wiggled over his lap. “Try again, little bird.”

  “No! Stop it!”

  The desperation in her voice told him she was close to breaking, so he focused on the sensitive spots where her bottom met her thighs. Sure enough, she howled at the fresh pain before going limp over his lap once more.

  Paul gave her bottom one last solid swat before rubbing her warm, pink bottom. “Ready to talk to me?”

  “No,” she replied sulkily. “But I guess I don’t have much of a choice.”

  “True. Now why don’t you want to go to college?”

  “Because I’m not college material. I’m too stupid.”

  Annoyed by the proclamation, and even more so by the fact that she obviously meant it, Paul squeezed one burning cheek, hard enough to have her squealing and drumming her feet against the ground in protest. “You’re nothing of the sort, young lady. So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to register for classes as soon as you c
an. You will go to all of your classes. If you have trouble or need any help at all, you will let me know. Do we have an understanding?”

  “No.”

  Paul didn’t even bother sighing. He’d known she was a stubborn little thing, so it really wasn’t a surprise that she was fighting him on this. But he wasn’t the pushover her parents were, and he’d learned a thing or two about dealing with stubborn women over the past few years. “That’s up to you. But if I find out that you haven’t signed up for classes, you’ll find yourself right back here. And I won’t be so lenient then.”

  She whipped her head around and narrowed her beautiful brown eyes at him. “You call this lenient? My ass is on fire!”

  “Trust me, this will feel like a few love pats if you directly defy me. I’m not playing with your future, Elisa. You will do as you’re told. Understood?”

  “Why do you care?”

  Smiling, he brushed the hair away from her face. “Because I love you. Didn’t you hear me the first time?”

  He loved the way her cheeks, gold from all the time she spent in the sun, turned pink with embarrassment. “I heard you.”

  “You just didn’t believe me, huh? Guess I’ll have to show you again.” He lifted her so she could straddle him, then laid back against the grass. Gripping her hips, he helped her lower herself onto him. The feeling of her wet heat wrapping around him again nearly unmanned him.

  He watched as she moved her hips experimentally, delighted by the pleasure flickering over her face. She was his, finally. His beautiful girl, with that compact, athletic body and acres of blond hair. He’d had other women before, but none had ever come close to her.

  Slipping a hand between them, he rubbed his thumb over her swollen clit, smiling when she gasped and looked down at him with shocked pleasure in her eyes. “I am completely, hopelessly in love with you, Elisa. And I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know it. Like this,” he pressed harder on her clit, making her moan and move her hips faster on him, “and this,” he reached his left hand behind her and squeezed her bottom again. She came like thunder, shuddering and crying out as she clamped around him. When she went boneless on top of him, he flipped her over and drove into her.