Damned

by Lynda O'Rourke

  “You sure you want to go and see Doctor Langstone?” asked Jude. “We’ve no idea what he’s like… and looking at this place kind of gives me the idea that he’s not all that tightly wrapped – you know what I mean?”

  Raven knelt up on her seat so she could see Jude and said, “Are you scared or something? I thought you were the big, tough guy in our group – worried that Doctor Langstone might shit on your parade?”

  Jude was quiet for a second. He closed his eyes briefly as if taking time out before he answered Raven. He breathed in deeply before saying, “You know what, Raven, I’m not even gonna go there. You’re talking shit as usual.” Jude turned away from her and looked at me and then Max. “You’re not safe here… it’s obvious… take a look.” He pointed through the window at the scorched buildings. “At least Doctor Middleton kept his shit hidden – he had a nice, shiny, clean hospital for everyone to see. It was only when you got deeper into the place that you realised all was not right. But here… this guy doesn’t even try to hide his shit… Langstone must be past caring. That says to me that the guy is dangerous.”

  I stared out into the night. Jude’s comment filled me with fear, but wasn’t that the real reason he was saying this? Wasn’t this just more bullshit to scare us into taking Robert and then running? He’d have all of us then and with no Doctor Langstone to stop him he would have the Cleaners flocking to him. Another thought entered my head and I pressed my face up against the cold window. If Robert was here, wouldn’t that mean the Cleaners would soon show up? After all, all of us were now in the one spot – gathered together – it’s what any demon needed to take control of the Cleaners. I peered out into the gloom. There was no sign of fog but I knew the Cleaners weren’t too far away. I had spotted them moving slowly across the fields in the distance, just before we’d found the lane leading us to Doctor Langstone. I shivered. Nothing was right. Whatever decision we took would mean some kind of hell.

  Turning to face, Jude I said, “Get me my boots and the satchel… I’m going in.”

  No sooner had the words passed my lips, the locks on the van clunked open and the catches on the doors released. I looked up and gasped. The figure was now standing in front of the van. Its face was still concealed. The doors flew open by themselves and the van suddenly filled with cold night air. The time for making a decision as to whether we stayed or left had passed. It seemed that whoever the cloaked figure was, it had made the decision for us.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Kassidy

  The wind swept through the van, spraying in cold rain. I snatched my boots from Jude and hurriedly zipped them up. Raven reluctantly slipped her feet back into the shoes she’d borrowed from Hannah. I took the keys from the ignition and placed them into my pocket.

  “What about Sylvia?” asked Max. “Are we taking her with us?”

  “We can’t leave her out here,” I said, glancing up at the figure. It hadn’t moved. It stood with its arm still outstretched holding the lamp, which swayed franticly in the wind.

  “I’ll bring her out,” called Jude from the back of the van.

  Placing Father Williams’s satchel over my shoulder, I slipped out from the van and into the stormy night. My hair thrashed about my shoulders and face. I struggled to stay on two feet. I glanced nervously at the figure, still unsure as to whether this was Doctor Langstone or some other paranormal being. The noise coming from the dogs was deafening. I guessed our appearance had something to do with their frenzied snarling and barking.

  I was joined by Max and Raven. They staggered against the wind, their wide eyes taking in the surroundings.

  Jude suddenly appeared from around the back of the van. He guided Sylvia along, his hand tightly holding onto the handcuffs that kept her secured. What a sight she looked. Anyone coming across her in the middle of the night and out here would have run for their lives. She peered out from under her matted hair. Our eyes met and I quickly turned away. She made me nervous – uncomfortable.

  We stood huddled together, waiting for the figure to speak. It didn’t. It turned away, moving smoothly across the ground toward the burnt ruin.

  Clutching the satchel and hunched forward against the wind, I raised my voice and said, “Come on, we have to follow it.” I headed into the ruin. There were floors above us, precariously balanced by what remained of the outer walls. Most of the front was missing with no doorway and only three windows – one on each level. The whole area smelt like a bonfire and it creaked and groaned from each gust of wind whistling through the building.

  Afraid that the floor above might just give way, I hurriedly moved through the rubble, stumbling every so often as I couldn’t see properly with no light. The figure blended into the dark and if it hadn’t have been for the lamp swaying from its fist, I would have lost sight of it. As it reached a big, wooden door, the cloaked figure seemed to disappear, leaving the lamp on the floor.

  “What the hell?” I heard Max say behind me. “Where did it go?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. It was unnerving, but I had already seen plenty of horrific things, so much so, that it didn’t really shock me. “I guess we have to go in through that door,” I called over my shoulder, bending down and picking up the lamp. As I held it up, its flickering candlelight played dancing shadows across the blackened walls. As Jude, with Sylvia, joined us, I reached out and took hold of the door handle.

  “Wait,” whispered Raven. “Shouldn’t you knock first?”

  “Fuck that,” dismissed Jude. “Did any of those demons ask your permission to inject VA20 into your veins?” He looked from Raven, to Max, and then to me. “Of course they fucking didn’t. Let’s drop the politeness – we go in, ask Langstone if he can remove the drug – if he can’t or he won’t – then let’s grab Robert and get the fuck outta here!”

  “Agreed,” said Max. “I don’t want to hang around here for any longer than we have to.” He looked at me with hope in his eyes and said, “Let’s pray this whole nightmare will be over soon, then we can move on to better things.” He wrapped his arms across his chest and shivered.

  I couldn’t help but think his hope would be short-lived. As much as I wanted to be positive, a large part of me felt sure that we wouldn’t be moving on to better things. Besides, if this did all end well, Max getting his brother back and VA20 removed, what then? I had no one, but then neither did Raven. And could the horrendous scars caused by this whole nightmare ever be healed? There was still too much at stake – too much hanging over us to even think of a better future. Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I took a deep breath and turned the door handle.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Kassidy

  I stepped into what appeared to be a large rectangular room. I could only see halfway down as there were no lights on. At least with the lantern, I could see a little. A long, wooden table took centre place and it was strewn with papers, glass bottles, and scientific equipment. The smell of the recent fire lingered in the air, and as I held the lantern up, I could see the walls were covered in old paintings of people from long ago.

  We stood close together and jumped as the door we had just entered slammed shut, causing bits of brick to fall away from the walls.

  “I don’t like it in here,” whispered Raven. “The dead wander through this room – I can feel them.”

  “Shut up,” I heard Jude say. He pushed past Max and Raven, stopping beside me. “Can you see anyone in here?”

  I held the lantern higher, its flickering light bathing the room just barely. It was impossible to see what lay hidden at the end of the room without venturing further down.

  “I can’t see shit,” I murmured, feeling totally vulnerable, blinded by the dark. “We need to move further in.” I took a few steps forward, straining my ears against the rain lashing hard against the curtained windows. I would never be able to hear anything while the storm raged outside.

  Blind and deaf, I tiptoed a little further alongside the wooden table. I moved the lantern left to
right, my eyes checking for signs of bloody foot- and handprints over the walls and ceiling. Knowing that Robert could be here and knowing how Sylvia had turned out, and still haunted by hideous memories of Alex, I wanted to be prepared and not taken by surprise.

  We had crept halfway down the room, or at least as far as we could make out, when I stopped. An overwhelming fear filled me. What was at the end of the room? My gut instinct told me we weren’t alone in here. Someone or something was waiting in the blinding dark. My feet stayed firmly rooted to the spot. I didn’t like not being able to see. I stretched my arm out as far as I could, swinging the lantern in the hope that it would shed some light into the back of the room, but it didn’t. I turned to Jude, who stood beside me, and whispered, “Open the curtains.”

  In the glow of the lantern, I saw Jude nod his head. He walked quietly over toward one set of curtains. I spun around to find Max and Raven right behind me.

  “What’s going on?” whispered Max. “Why have we stopped?”

  “I don’t think we’re alone in here,” I murmured. “We need more light.” I held the lantern up and peered past Raven. “Where’s Sylvia?” My heartbeat picked up. I spun around, casting little light across the room in the hope that I could see where she was, but in the gloom, there was no hope of doing so. Knowing she was wandering loose and at any point could suddenly attack one of us, alarmed me. I hung the lantern high above my head, remembering that she too could climb walls and scuttle across ceilings. I couldn’t see her. She could be anywhere in here.

  The sound of the curtains being dragged open filled the room but offered very little light. It was so dark outside that it made really no difference.

  “Well that did shit!” I heard Jude moan as he came back toward me.

  “Sylvia’s missing,” I said, feeling uneasy.

  Placing his hand on my arm, Jude said, “Don’t worry, she’s still got the handcuffs on – we’ll find her. We know she hasn’t left the room – we would’ve heard the door open, so she’s still got to be in here.”

  That didn’t make me feel any easier. I would have preferred that she’d gotten out. She’d been too quiet ever since we’d escaped from the police station. Her silence disturbed me.

  “Let’s keep moving,” whispered Raven, pushing me forward.

  Staying close together, we continued on. The lantern’s light revealed a fireplace and chimney breast. I felt my heart take a wild leap in my chest but on further inspection, I was relieved to see it was way too narrow for anyone to climb up or down it.

  With my fingers tracing along the edge of the wooden table, they finally came to the end. I slowly held up the lantern, my eyes following the light and taking in everything it revealed. The stone floor came first, then an old wooden chest with padlock. Moving the lantern to the right, I spotted a broken chair piled with books. I could also see a door. Turning to the left, I froze. The light revealed a pair of tatty slippers and moving the lantern up slowly, I swallowed down the apprehension that was raging around in my stomach and rushing up my throat. The slippers came with feet, legs, and a body covered by a dressing gown. As the lantern light reached the head, two black eyes stared back at me. I stepped back suddenly, losing my balance. I dropped the lantern to the floor and the candle blew out.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Ben

  I stood alone by a desolate road. Some way off in the distance, a town twinkled in the night. Or was it the early hours of the morning? I was unsure. The rain poured down and the relentless wind pounded against me. My shirt clung to my body like a wet, second skin. But I wasn’t really alone. My voice wasn’t the only one I could hear deep inside my head. Quint was in there. Every so often I would hear him curse, spitting evil and filling my brain with murderous thoughts. The years of having him live inside me had been a long, tedious nightmare, and I struggled to hear my own voice over his. It was a constant battle to push myself through Quint, to ram my thoughts, opinions, and sheer will over his ugly, tasteless wants. The fight to cling onto myself for so many years had drained me of all will to live.

  Years ago, when I’d lost my freedom to be me, I’d wanted nothing more than to survive, to fight against Quint and keep my life. But now, as I stared out across the dark, gloomy landscape, I could hear my voice – hear it more clearly than I had done for some time.

  I spoke over the rush of wind. “I just want it to end… I’m tired, Quint. You’ve drained me of everything I’ve ever been… everything I’ve ever had. You’ve sucked the life out of me. When are you going to set me free?”

  But Quint stayed quiet. All I could hear was the wind and the rain hitting the ground like shards of glass splintering on impact. Feeling frustrated, I shouted into the dark. “Why am I even here? Why did you bring me to the middle of nowhere?”

  I didn’t get it. This wasn’t Quint’s usual behaviour. The norm for me over the years had been to experience periods of darkness, like my memory had been wiped. I would suddenly wake up and be back at Cruor Pharma to find myself on Ward 2. I’d be looking at a new batch of volunteers who believed they were doing their bit for humanity – offering their bodies for a drug trial. I would stand beside their beds, syringe in one hand, VA20 in the other, my voice trapped inside, screaming, begging Quint not to do it, not to fill their veins with the thick, black fluid. Yet my actions weren’t my own. So as I now stood along the barren country lane, I felt uneasy at the change in Quint’s usual pattern.

  I looked over my shoulder, shielding my eyes from the torrent of rain, and stared at the distant lights flickering from the far off town. What was I doing here?

  Running my fingers through my hair and shaking away the rivulets of rain that ran down my face, I asked, “Are you going to speak to me… Quint?”

  His silence unnerved me. Why was he so quiet? I’d spent most of my adult life pleading, sometimes yelling for him to shut up. His constant demands, bullying, and twisted perversions haunted my head, made me feel sick, and turned me insane. But now, Quint was silent. I smacked the side of my head; for once it was me waking Quint and not the other way around.

  Still, there was nothing from him. It felt alien to suddenly have silence inside my head after all this time, yet it didn’t offer me the peace I had once dreamt it would. Having been controlled for so long – being Quint’s puppet – had taken away my decisions and choices, as my identity had slowly eroded away.

  I shivered in the wind. I felt lost and confused, unable to think for myself. I wasn’t sure if I had any confidence left or whether I was capable to go it alone.

  “Need to start thinking for yourself, Ben,” I whispered, tucking my hands inside my trouser pockets. Had Quint really gone? Had he left me? For a brief moment, the idea of going it alone scared me, but then that lifted. “I’m so fucking stupid!” I cursed myself. “Control or freedom?” I felt myself smile, something which I hadn’t done in a long time. “Freedom… any day!” By answering my own question, I found myself looking in each direction along the empty lane and facing a decision. Which way should I go? Where did I want to go? I shuddered as another gust of wind hit me. What had I been doing before I found myself here? Maybe if I remembered it would set me in the right direction. As I raided my memory, snippets of past events revealed themselves. Some I remembered, some I didn’t. Cruor Pharma came first with its dark, crumbling corridors. Volunteers screaming flashed before my eyes. I trembled at the blood and body parts ripped from torsos, strewn across the ward, volunteers attacking volunteers. I swallowed back the revulsion I felt bubbling up my throat. I didn’t want to see those images, not because I was squeamish but because I knew I had been a part of it. These were memories I wished I didn’t remember. Searching for my past again, I could see myself handing a key over to a young woman who had blonde hair. She looked a mess. There were blood stains down the white hospital gown she wore and her pretty face was masked with fear. I paused on her image.

  Talking out loud to myself, I said, “I know you… you mean something to me… who
are you?” Screwing my eyes shut tight, I tried to remember. “Kassidy… Kassidy Bell!” As if she were the key to my memory loss, my past came flooding back. “I helped you to escape!” I spoke as if she was standing with me at the side of the road. I remembered now. I had been with her earlier today. I had helped Kassidy and her friends to get away, like I’d done with the other three. I searched my head for their names but the only one I could remember was Sylvia Green. I had been stronger than Quint when I’d shown Sylvia and the other two a way out of the hospital. It had been like a battle of two minds, Quint and myself – good over evil. Quint had lost and the three volunteers had escaped. But now, as my mind drifted back to Kassidy, I realised that Quint hadn’t really put up any kind of struggle to keep Kassidy locked inside the hospital. In fact, now that my thinking seemed clearer, it had been Quint who had taken the Cruor Pharma van to go in search of Kassidy after she’d escaped down Strangers Hill. He had wanted her to escape, but why? What was it that seemed to attract Quint to Kassidy, so much so, that he had gone against Doctor Middleton and Doctor Wright?

  I tilted my head up toward the night sky. The cold rain stung my face yet refreshed my weary head. As I tried to piece my questions together, come up with answers and enjoy the freedom inside my head, a thought suddenly came to me. If Quint was gone, then shouldn’t I be dead? Before I could come up with some kind of explanation, something to comfort that worrying thought, I felt myself shrink. A voice answered me, only it wasn’t mine, it was Quint’s.