by Amber Nation
This morning, the sound of greasy food appealed to me, so I planned on going into The Diner, to get breakfast before my trip to Atlanta. Gio offered to go with me to see Mason, but I thought that it was something that I had to do on my own. I wasn’t exactly comfortable with it, but I needed to shove down my fear and confront him.
I walked into The Diner, and the smell of grease and good down home cooking assaulted my senses immediately. If only I could bottle this scent up so I could smell it at random times of the day.
Sitting in an available booth, I felt slightly out of place. I hadn’t been to a restaurant by myself in quite some time now. I had basically retreated back to my former lifestyle of keeping to myself except for having Toby and Tessa come by.
I grabbed the menu, which was placed in between a single rose in a plastic vase and the metal napkin dispenser. Looking at the one page laminated menu that was now sitting in front of me, everything sounded delicious. I couldn’t understand why I was so hungry today.
“Welcome to The Diner, can I get you something to drink? Maggie?”
I finally looked up from the menu and noticed that my waitress was Sheridan, I had absolutely no idea that she was still around here.
“Oh my goodness, Sheridan, how are you?”
“I’m doing good, just got my cast off of my foot a few weeks ago.” She looked down at her foot, which caused me to follow and she pointed her toes and turned her ankle in a circle.
“I had absolutely no clue that you were still in Brown County.”
“Yeah, I decided to stay, I’m actually living in Mike’s spare bedroom, but hopefully that won’t be for much longer.” Her expression grew almost guilty, but she quickly replaced it with a smile. “I’m looking for my own place. And I’ve been working here for about five or six weeks now, I love it. I love being able to work.” Sheridan said, her smile growing even wider, she seemed so happy to be able to work. I wondered why?
We talked for a few minutes, in between her bringing my drink and my large stack of pancakes, which had me salivating over them before I was even able to take a bite. And once I sunk my teeth into that plate full of heaven, I could’ve died and been truly ok with it. They hit the spot and I was ready to take a nap after clearing the entire thing.
I walked up to meet Sheridan at the counter so I could pay for my meal, and while I was digging through my wallet the bell above the door dinged, indicating a new customer had walked through.
“Good morning, Sheriff.” Sheridan said, while handing me my change.
I still hadn’t looked the Sheriff’s way, so imagine my surprise, when I heard none other than Charlie reply, “Good morning Sheridan, Maggie…”
Whipping my head around towards the familiar voice I once craved, my heart jumped in my throat when I saw Charlie decked out in a Sheriff’s uniform.
Two thoughts occurred to me:
When did he become Sheriff of Brown County?
And, oh my God he looked delicious.
My heart began palpitating and I thought it was going to beat right out of my chest.
“Hi,” I croaked out. A thick lump had settled in my throat and it caused my voice to appear distorted. The lump wasn’t going away and then a nauseous feeling hit me. I covered my mouth and darted to the bathroom, making it only moments before my delicious pancake breakfast made its reappearance.
I was guessing it was the nervous reaction to seeing Charlie again that made me sick?
I spent an extra few minutes just hanging around in the bathroom before I went out, I was already embarrassed enough, I didn’t need to see Charlie’s reaction. Just seeing him, made my heart ache again, I thought I was over feeling like this. I missed him something fierce and I almost wondered if he sort of missed me too. I had absolutely no idea that he decided to stick around here let alone become Sheriff, Tessa nor Toby had given me the heads up, but then again I asked them to stop all talks about Charlie.
There was a light knock on the door before it opened and Sheridan poked her head in. “Are you ok sweetie?” she asked, the concern evident in her voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Is uh…is Charlie still out there?”
She pushed open the door a little more and came all the way into the bathroom with me. “No, Sheriff Hennings comes in every morning to pick up his breakfast to take it back to the station.” She turned to retrieve a paper towel and ran it under the faucet before handing it to me. “I remembered you two were together when you helped me after my wreck. Apparently that isn’t the case anymore?”
I shook my head, not completely trusting myself to speak.
“Then that’s why he always looks sad when he comes in. Makes just enough small talk with the customers so they don’t think he’s rude, since he’s new to the badge and all.” Her voice held a bit of a southern twang to it, she was so small and full of life. I wondered what kind of secrets she held, apparently everyone had them.
Charlie was always sad? He had stopped coming around, so I figured he had finally given up. But the way he looked at me this morning, the tenderness in the underlying depths of his eyes, said otherwise.
It was over, we were over, and I needed to remember that.
Sheridan and I retreated out of the bathroom, and I had to quickly stop in my tracks before I ran into her. I cocked my head to the side to see why she had come to a complete halt, only to witness some sort of no holds barred staring contest between her and a one Mike Jameson. His expression towards her was extremely heated and I could see the lust radiating off of him in waves. I couldn’t see Sheridan’s face, but if I had to guess, her expression was fairly similar. Neither of them said a word, and she seemingly snapped out of the trance she was in and sidestepped past Mike and kept on walking, ignoring him completely.
I watched her depart towards her designated seating stations within the diner. I chanced a glance up towards Mike, to see defeat in the depths of his hazel eyes as he lifted his tattered baseball cap up off of his head and ran a hand through his unruly hair.
I gave him an unconvincing half smile and a lift of one of my shoulders to convey that I didn’t know what in the world I had just witnessed and said, “Don’t give up.” He sighed and then shoved his hands in his pockets and went back to his booth.
I left The Diner after exchanging numbers and promising to call Sheridan to meet up with her for dinner sometime and went about going to visit my brother, trying to forget about the awkward encounter that just occurred.
Going to the United States Penitentiary, I really didn’t know what to expect. After filling out numerous forms wanting to know everything from my blood type to my work history, I was really surprised they didn’t want me to sign over rights to my firstborn. I was then sent through an expansive metal detector, in which I had to take off my shoes and even after I walked through the detector, a security guard scanned me with one of those handheld wands. They took their security extremely seriously, which I suppose I should’ve been grateful for. They made sure no one brought anything unwarranted onto the premises.
Another guard brought me into a room filled with a long line of stations which had seats, and in front of them were hanging phones and then a glass partition. I was directed to a particular seat and once I sat down, Mason was already waiting for me on the opposite side.
He looked good. Really good, the best I had seen him in years. The twinkle that was always in his eye when we were kids, was finally back. His hair had gotten longer and was lightly brushing the tops of his shoulders. He looked completely transformed and to think, it took prison to do it.
I picked up the phone, only to see him smile and do the same. “Mason…” I breathed into the line. I was barely unable to contain my excitement at seeing my brother back to his old self.
“Mags!” he beamed. “Oh Maggie, I’ve missed you so much! You don’t know how sorry I am for everything that has happened. I know it’s no excuse, but it was the drugs. Once I got a taste, they completely took over my life and started ruling it. H
ere I was supposed to be your big brother, the one who you are supposed to look up to and count on and I failed you. And once Declan came along, I was so far in above my head that he just pulled me down even more.” He paused, and his eyes just seemed to roam over me taking in my features.
It was hard not to smile when he seemed so much better. I wanted nothing more than to have him standing right in front of me so he could hug me with his strong embrace. I hadn’t had a hug, let alone a nice conversation with my brother in too long, it had truly been too many years to count.
“Mason, I’ve missed you so much!” I finally said as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Life has been…Well, it could be better, but now that you are back to your old self, I think everything will be just fine.”
“Well, you have Charlie don’t you? I said some shitty things to him before because he was the one who put me here, but now I’d really like to thank him. If it weren’t for him sending me here, I really don’t think I would’ve ever gotten my act together. I may have actually ended up dead. He’s a pretty good guy, he’d have to be to catch the eye of my sister.” He said with a wink, but then noticed how the tears were flowing even more.
“Charlie never told me that he was an FBI, undercover investigating you until Declan kidnapped me. I always thought he was just a bartender. How foolish of me, huh?”
“Oh Maggie…He was just doing his job, trying to earn his living. I’m sure he wished he could’ve told you but didn’t know how. You might have been in more danger if he had told you. And look at me, I haven’t been exactly forthcoming with everything I’ve done, and here you are giving me a second chance.”
Mason was right, he definitely gave me some insight to ponder on. We talked for a bit longer until his time was up. I promised to come see him as often as I could. He still had a hefty sentence ahead of him, but maybe, hopefully he could get released early for good behavior. I was certainly not the person to know any of this judicial stuff. That would be the perfect question to ask Charlie, if I was talking to him.
“Maggie are you alright in there? That’s the third time you’ve gotten sick this morning.” Sally, my boss in the Labor and Delivery Unit, said.
The truth was, I felt as if I had been hit by a frigging Mac Truck, and I was about to die. This sickness had been going on for the better part of a week. Surely, I should be getting over it soon?
It occurred at the oddest of times, take for example when I was doing the dishes. Every single night this week, whenever I would wash my dishes at night, I would end up getting sick in the sink. Who does that?
I flushed the toilet, yet again and rinsed my mouth out with some travel mouth wash that I’d been forced to carry around in my pocket, swishing it around a few times and spitting it in the sink. Looking in the mirror, which I had been trying to avoid as much as possible lately, I noticed how flushed my skin was and the red splotches under my eyes. I looked like death, which was putting it mildly. Normally, after I got sick I would feel better, but today wasn’t one of those days. I wanted to sleep the day away, but still had about seven hours of work ahead of me.
I slipped out the door and went straight to Sally. Her expression was pretty humorous, and I didn’t for the life of me know why.
“Go down to the lab, then go home and get some rest.” And that was all she said, as she turned around and walked towards the nurses station.
Quickly trying to catch up with her, “Why do I need to go down to the lab?”
“To get a blood pregnancy test. Honey I’m about 99.9% certain that you’re pregnant. Go get it done, then I’ll have Dr. Adams call you with your results in a few hours, since she’s on call today.” She smiled, and patted my back before she went to check on my next patient for me.
How... I couldn’t... There was no way... What the hell did she just say?
Me pregnant?
I felt nauseous all over again. There couldn’t be any possible way that I was pregnant. Then, flashbacks of the last time I was together with Charlie, hit me.
In my shower.
Without a condom.
HOLY SHIT! That would also explain my extreme tiredness, and wanting copious amounts of greasy, fattening foods.
I begrudgingly went to the lab to have my blood drawn to see if I have hCG levels present. Remember when I said I was a horrible patient?? Having blood drawn was worse.
Much worse.
I could give shots and start IV’s all day every day, but to inject a needle into my arm, I almost had to be strapped down for the occasion. I’d seriously rather eat anchovies…Oh those actually sounded good!
Leaving the hospital, with not one, but three holes in my arm from where I jerked when the needle was inserted, I decided I couldn’t wait until Dr. Adams called me, I had to know now.
I went to the drugstore, and made sure no one was watching me, before I quickly bought and paid for my pregnancy tests.
Yes, that would be plural.
I thought about getting two, but then what if one was positive and one was negative? So I ended up with three, because that seemed to be the perfect balance. If two of the three were positive, then I’d have my answer. This shit was making my head hurt.
An hour and sixteen ounces of apple juice later, I was sitting on my closed toilet with my head in my hands. Resting on the counter next to my sink, was three confirmed positive pregnancy tests.
What was I going to do?
(Charlie)
Maggie hadn’t been taking her usual route this past week. I was beginning to worry about her. She hadn’t been running the distance that she used to, and she often looked sick. Was she still sick over us? After it being over two months, I would think things would be getting better for her.
What was I saying? Things weren’t better for me. After hearing her throw the vase of flowers after I left that day, I knew it was time for me to back off. It wouldn’t help matters if I pushed the situation more. Even though she stated that she wasn’t broken, she wasn’t that good at hiding her emotions, I hurt her more than anyone had throughout her entire life. More than the physical and emotional beatings of her parents and brother, that’s what hurt the most. To know that I had caused it.
So, I’d been reduced to my stalker like tendencies once again. But I had to make sure that she was keeping safe. And if this was the only way I’d get to see her a few times a week, I would take what I could get. The ache within my chest hadn’t lessened any, so I deserved to watch her from afar and further wallow in my guilt. I selfishly had hoped that by now she would come to me so we could work things out. I know we had enough passion and love to make us work again, I know it would take some time on her part for her to trust me again. I would do anything to get her back. I never once thought that I would ever end up falling so hard for a woman, this just proved that things came to people when you least expected them to.
If she never forgave me, at least I would have the memories of us together. I would treasure them until the day that I died. I would never again be able to do many of the things I did before on a normal basis, without thinking of Maggie; eating a sandwich, ice skating, cheesy pick-up lines, even playing my bass and going to Emmy Lou’s. And as much as I hated to say it even watching, “Friends”. I never once liked that show, but since it was Maggie’s favorite I endured it just for her, now I found myself watching it on almost a daily basis. Thinking maybe she would be watching the reruns as well at that certain time, we could be sharing something together again in some weird, twisted kind of way.
I even went as far as torturing myself further, by pulling up her name on my phone, in which had a picture of her when she had just woken up, she had never looked more beautiful than in that moment, glasses on, hair in a messy knot on top of her head, sans makeup… That was my favorite Maggie. I would write and rewrite different text messages to her, again begging for forgiveness and a second chance only to end up chickening out and erasing every last word.
It must’ve been in my head, the look of longing that sh
e gave me at The Diner. If she would’ve spoken up and asked for me to kiss her right then and there, I wouldn’t have hesitated for even a fraction of a second. But instead she quickly ran from me, as if she couldn’t get away fast enough.
I’ve asked Sheridan if she’d been back since that day, only to be let down again.
It had been several weeks since I’ve taken the Sheriff’s Oath into office, and the citizens of Brown County couldn’t have been more accepting. The only thing missing from my ceremony was Maggie. Toby and Tessa took a bit, but they finally came around. They finally understood that I was doing my job protecting them, I couldn’t get word out that I was undercover, which is why Emmalynne and Grady had to keep that secret too. As for the fact that Emmalynne didn’t want anyone to know about her kidnapping, that as totally her call. The Bureau had absolutely no problem granting keeping that under wraps, since we already had wind about the bigger fish, Declan Smith. And if everyone knew the reasoning, it would have just hindered our investigation.
Could I have done things differently the entire time I was with Maggie? Yes, but I don’t regret my decision to keep her safe, if she had known the entire time, she would’ve been constantly on alert and even more skittish than she first was. Could things have gone differently with Declan? Absolutely, but I couldn’t keep playing the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. It never got you anywhere.
My phone started vibrating across my desk at the station. Reaching for it I noticed it was Toby. He didn’t call very often, so something seemed off, and that gave me a bad feeling. I ran into him from time to time, and would ask how she was doing, he was always extremely forthcoming with information but I wouldn’t go blatantly seek him out.
“Hey Toby,” I answered.
“Charlie, you need to come to Maggie’s apartment.” Panic seized in my chest. Was something wrong? Did something happen? “You need to come as Charlie, not as the Sheriff. She’s ok, you just…you just need to come,” then he quickly disconnected the call.
