SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Junior Novel

by David Lewman (retail) (epub)

  ©2014 Paramount Pictures and Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants and all related titels, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc. SpongeBob SquarePants created by Stephen Hillenburg.

  Based on the TV series SpongeBob SquarePants™

  Based on the original screenplay by Stephen Hillenburg, Paul Tibbitt, Jonathan Aibel, and Glenn Berger

  Adapted by David Lewman

  In the middle of the bright blue ocean, a pirate ship sat anchored just off the shore of a tiny desert island. Burger Beard, the captain of the ship, eagerly rowed a little wooden boat to the beach.

  The moment the tip of his boat touched the sand, he jumped out, carrying a map and his trusty sword. “At long last,” he said greedily. “The legendary treasure will be mine!”

  Following the map, Burger Beard hacked his way through the thick jungle to the ruins of an ancient temple. At the far end of the temple, a dusty pirate skeleton sat on a magnificent throne, holding an old leather-bound book.

  When he saw the book, Burger Beard’s eyes lit up. “Thar ye be, me lovely!” he whispered. Dancing a happy jig, he made his way across the temple to the throne. Then he cupped his ear and pretended to listen to the silent pirate skeleton.

  “Oh, what’s that?” he asked. “Take the book? I don’t mind if I do!”

  He yanked the old book out of the skeleton’s hand, and the skeleton collapsed into a pile of bones. If Burger Beard hadn’t been so busy kissing the book, he might have heard a strange sound, like mechanical gears turning and grinding….

  ZWHEET! ZWHEET! ZWHEET! Poison darts flew straight at Burger Beard!

  But the pirate didn’t notice. He was twirling around, hugging the book to his chest. “It’s mine! Finally, you are MINE!”

  Lucky for the greedy pirate, hundreds of poison darts zipped past, missing him. Giant spikes shot up through the floor of the temple, but none of them skewered Burger Beard. When he had finished his joyful dance with the book, he bowed and a huge spike pierced his hat, narrowly missing his head.

  Burger Beard stood up straight, adjusted his hat, and started to leave with the book.

  Then someone tapped him on the shoulder.

  When he turned around, he saw the pirate skeleton! It had reassembled itself, and now it was waving its bony fists, challenging Burger Beard to a fight.

  “Bring it on, Skinny,” Burger Beard said, laughing. “You don’t scare me!”

  CRACK! The skeleton landed a tremendous punch right on Burger Beard’s chin, which sent him flying all the way back to his ship. THUMP! The pirate landed hard on the deck.

  He bounced up and shook his fist at the island. “Is that all ya got?” he jeered. He kissed the book one more time, weighed anchor, caught a good stiff wind, and sailed away.

  Satisfied with his course, Burger Beard hit the auto-pirate button on the ship’s steering wheel and sat down in his reading chair. As he opened the ancient volume, several curious seagulls settled around him to listen.

  “Let’s see,” he muttered. “How does this story begin?”

  He began to read out loud. “‘Once upon a time under the sea, there was a little town called Bikini Bottom. In this town, there was a place called the Krusty Krab, where folks would come to eat a thing called a Krabby Patty.’”

  The seagulls smiled. They liked this story already!

  “‘Every greasy spoon has a fry cook,’” Burger Beard continued, “‘and the one who worked here went by the name of SpongeBob SquarePants. He loved making Krabby Patties, and the good citizens of Bikini Bottom loved eating them, despite their doctors’ warnings.’”

  “Why did the citizens wuv eating Kwabby Patties so much, Mistew Piwate?” asked the littlest seagull, whose name was Kyle.

  Burger Beard looked up from the book. “Well, Kyle, it says right here in the book that it was a secret!”

  “Ooh, I WUV secwets!” Kyle said.

  Burger Beard resumed reading. “‘No one was sure what was in these patties that made them so delicious. And frankly, no one cared. No one except a tiny guy named Plankton.’”

  Kyle leaned over the pirate’s shoulder to stare at the picture of Plankton in the book. In the drawing, Plankton was holding on to the handle of a safe while SpongeBob tried to vacuum him off it.

  “‘Plankton had made it his life’s work to steal the Krabby Patty recipe,’” Burger Beard read. “‘But SpongeBob was always there to protect it. On this particular day, though, things would be different….’”

  High above Bikini Bottom, a bomber plane flew toward the Krusty Krab. Behind the restaurant, SpongeBob tossed a bag into the trash bin just as his best friend, Patrick, walked up.

  “Good morning, SpongeBob!” Patrick said cheerfully.

  “Good morning, Patrick!” SpongeBob answered. “Are you here for your pre-lunch Krabby Patty?”

  “I’m thinking TWO today! One for me … and one for my friend!”

  “Oh!” SpongeBob said. “Have I met this friend?”

  Patrick used both hands to squish his belly to look like a big mouth. He moved his hands to make the “mouth” talk. “You know ME, SpongeBob!”

  The two pals laughed. “Enjoy, Patrick’s tummy!” SpongeBob said.

  Up above the Krusty Krab, the bomber plane dropped a huge jar of tartar sauce. As the gigantic jar fell, it made a whistling sound.

  Meanwhile, in front of the Krusty Krab, the owner, Mr. Krabs, was happily counting the customers who were lining up to spend their money. He was too busy counting to notice the whistle of the falling jar. “Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen …”

  SpongeBob went over to his boss. “Hey, Mr. Krabs,” he said. “I thought we got our tartar sauce delivery on Thursday.”

  Mr. Krabs stopped counting. Puzzled, he asked, “Tartar …”

  SPLAT! The giant jar hit the ground and exploded, covering everyone and everything with tartar sauce!

  “… sauce?” Mr. Krabs finished as tartar sauce dripped off his nose and claws.

  Overhead, the pilot of the bomber plane circled around to see the damage he had done. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob heard a familiar voice yell, “Bull’s-eye!” and laugh evilly. The plane flew off.

  “Plankton!” cried SpongeBob, recognizing the evil laugh right away.

  “So it’s a food fight he wants, eh?” Mr. Krabs said, determined. He grabbed SpongeBob and said, “Listen up, boy! Plankton’s tried to steal me formuler thousands of times, but he’s never had a PLANE before! So protect the secret formuler AT ALL COSTS!”

  SpongeBob saluted and started to hurry inside to defend the Krabby Patty secret formula. Mr. Krabs realized what he had just said. “But not ACTUAL COSTS,” he added. “You know what I mean. To yer battle stations!”

  Plankton piloted his bomber plane toward the Krusty Krab for another attack. “Welcome to Air Plankton!” he announced to no one in particular, enjoying himself. “Please put your seat backs and tray tables up, as we’re now approaching our final destination….”

  Up on the roof of the Krusty Krab, a giant antiaircraft gun rose into position. SpongeBob and Patrick, wearing their battle helmets, worked the gun.

  “Okay, Patrick!” SpongeBob yelled. “Load the potatoes!”

  Patrick held up a plate full of steaming potatoes. “Mashed or scalloped, sir?”

  “No, Patrick,” SpongeBob said. “RAW!”

  “Sir, yes, sir!” Patrick answered, saluting. He dropped the plate of cooked potatoes, picked up a bag of raw potatoes, and poured them into the antiaircraft gun. “Locked and loaded!” he reported.

  In his office
, Mr. Krabs opened his safe and placed the Krabby Patty secret formula inside. “Don’t worry, little formuler!” he said. “You’ll be safe in this, uh, safe.” He slammed the door closed, twirled the dial, and grabbed a microphone. “FIRE!” he shouted.

  On the roof, SpongeBob pulled the trigger. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The antiaircraft gun fired whole potatoes at Plankton’s fighter plane.

  “POTATOES?” Plankton yelled when he saw them coming straight at him. He pulled the stick to the right, swerving the plane out of the way, and headed toward the Krusty Krab.

  “He’s closing in!” SpongeBob called.

  Patrick peered through a pair of binoculars … which he was holding backward. “I think we have a few minutes before he gets here,” he said calmly. SpongeBob reached up and flipped the binoculars around. “HE’S RIGHT ON TOP OF US!” Patrick screamed.

  SpongeBob kept firing the big gun, but the propellers of Plankton’s plane shredded the potatoes into French fries.

  “It’s gonna take a lot more than potatoes to bring THIS baby down!” Plankton gloated. But just then, the potatoes knocked the wings off his plane. The plane plummeted to the ground and crashed. WHAM!

  SpongeBob and Patrick celebrated on the roof with a victory dance. “We did it! Woo-hoo!” shouted SpongeBob.

  “Yeah! In your FACE, Plankton!” Patrick said.

  Then SpongeBob spotted something floating gently through the sky: a parachute. “Wait a minute, Patrick,” he said. “Look!”

  Dangling from the parachute was a tank. “He’s got a tank!” SpongeBob cried.

  Inside the tank, Plankton loaded a pickle as ammunition and manned the controls. “Well, Krabs,” he said, “you’re certainly in a pickle now!” He laughed at his own terrible pun.

  The tank shot the pickle at the Krusty Krab. It hit the restaurant and exploded, blowing SpongeBob and Patrick off the roof. They screamed as they fell, but after they hit ground, they stood up, breathing hard. They saw the tank rolling closer!

  SpongeBob frantically cranked a field radio and shouted into it. “Your orders, sir?”

  From his office, Mr. Krabs answered, “EXTRA KETCHUP! EXTRA MUSTARD! HOLD THE MAYO!”

  “Yes, sir!” SpongeBob called, hoisting giant squeeze bottles onto his shoulders.

  Patrick lifted a giant jar of mayo over his head. “Hold … the … mayo!” he grunted. His arms shook with the effort of holding the huge jar over his head. He and SpongeBob watched as the tank rolled closer and closer….

  “I can’t hold this mayo much longer!” Patrick gasped.

  “Wait for the order, soldier!” barked SpongeBob.

  Finally, their radio crackled and Mr. Krabs shouted, “Unleash the condiments!”

  “With relish!” SpongeBob cried as he shot ketchup and mustard at Plankton’s tank. But the tank just kept on coming, firing exploding pickles at the Krusty Krab. Patrick heaved the giant jar of mayo right in front of the tank. CRASH!

  “MAYO?” Plankton said. “It’s gonna take a lot more than MAYO to stop—”

  BOOM! The tank ran into the mayo and exploded, sending globs of white goo flying everywhere.

  “Oh, mayo …,” Patrick said fondly, “is there no problem you can’t solve?”

  But SpongeBob was carefully watching the wreckage of Plankton’s tank. He saw movement. “NOW what?” he asked.

  SpongeBob watched in horror as a giant metal robot rose from the smoldering ashes of the tank. Plankton was working the robot’s controls from a seat inside its head. He laughed a long, loud, evil laugh and pushed on a control stick. The robot stomped forward. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The ground shook with every step the giant robot took.

  Patrick stared up at the robot. He took off his helmet and handed it to SpongeBob. “I just remembered,” he said. “I don’t work for Mr. Krabs.” He ran off.

  SpongeBob dropped the helmet and sprinted for the front door of the Krusty Krab, yelling, “Robot! Robot! ROBOT! ROBOT! GIANT ROBOT!” The terrifying robot chased him.

  Inside his office, Mr. Krabs was staring at the closed door. He could hear the thundering steps of the robot coming closer and closer. He could also hear SpongeBob screaming, “ROBOT! ROBOT!”

  SpongeBob burst into the office and slammed the door shut behind him. “Mr. Krabs!” he said breathlessly. “Plankton’s here and he’s got a giant robot!”

  “Quick, boy!” Mr. Krabs responded. “Bar the door!”

  SpongeBob shoved a flimsy chair under the doorknob. “Got it!” he said, satisfied.

  The robot burst through the door and the wall surrounding it. SMASH! It flattened SpongeBob and stomped right up to Mr. Krabs. “I’ll take one secret formula,” Plankton demanded. “To go!”

  The robot’s big mechanical hand reached toward Mr. Krabs, who cowered and groaned, until suddenly …

  … the robot sputtered and froze.

  Mr. Krabs uncovered his head and looked up, puzzled. “Eh?” he said. SpongeBob peeled himself off the floor and stood up, wondering what the robot was doing.

  Inside the robot’s head, Plankton stared at a gauge. The needle pointed to E. “Oh, BARNACLES!” Plankton cursed. “I’m out of gas!”

  He opened a little door, climbed out of the robot’s head, and walked down its extended arm to Mr. Krabs. “I’m not through yet!” he vowed. “I’ve got something that’ll make you hand over that formula … something you CAN’T resist!”

  Mr. Krabs folded his arms and smiled. “And just what would that irresistible thing be, Plankton?”

  Plankton whipped out his wallet. Mr. Krabs gasped. “Money!” he wheezed.

  “That’s right, Krabs!” Plankton said, grinning. “I’ll BUY the formula from you!”

  SpongeBob grabbed Mr. Krabs’s arm and desperately tried to pull him away from Plankton. “No, Mr. Krabs!” he cried. “Don’t do it!”

  “No, I won’t,” Mr. Krabs said. “Of course not.” But then he asked, “How much?”

  “One … dollar,” Plankton offered.

  “Sold,” Mr. Krabs said.

  SpongeBob gasped.

  “YES!” cried Plankton triumphantly.

  SpongeBob couldn’t believe Mr. Krabs was going to sell the priceless Krabby Patty formula for just one dollar! Swaggering over his long-awaited victory, Plankton opened his wallet.

  It was empty.

  Plankton’s eye bulged in disbelief. “That’s … that’s … that’s IMPOSSIBLE!” he yelled. “It was full of money just last week!”

  He thought hard about where all his money could possibly have gone. “But then I bought that airplane. And that tank. And built that giant robot. I knew I shouldn’t have put in such a nice seat. But I love comfort….”

  Mr. Krabs chuckled. “Sounds to me like someone’s just a wee bit broke!”

  Plankton shrugged. “Well, Krabs, I guess you’ve won. I’ve spent every penny I’ve ever made trying to put you out of business.”

  He pulled out a single penny.

  “Except this one,” Plankton said. “My last penny. What can I do with one measly cent, anyway?”

  Mr. Krabs looked at the penny and licked his lips. “You could give it to me,” he said. “Just a suggestion.”

  Plankton stared at his last penny. He closed his eye and sighed. Then he opened his eye. “Here,” he said, giving up completely. “Take it.”

  He tossed the penny to Mr. Krabs, who caught it with one eager claw. Mr. Krabs kissed the penny. Then he opened his safe, tossed the penny inside, and whispered, “Welcome home, little penny. Welcome home.” He closed the safe gently.

  Plankton began to sob. “You’ve taken everything else! You might as well take my last penny!”

  Mr. Krabs frowned. “You already gave it to me. And no take-backs!”

  Huge tears flowed from Plankton’s single eye. Mr. Krabs picked him up and carried him out of his office, stopping in the restaurant’s dining area. SpongeBob followed his boss.

  Holding Plankton in his big claw, Mr. Krabs said, “Well, Plankt
on, like a reheated Krabby Patty, you’ve been foiled again!”

  He dropped the tiny villain onto the floor. “Oof!” Plankton grunted.

  “I guess this means the secret formula is safe forever!” SpongeBob said happily. “Right, Mr. Krabs?”

  Mr. Krabs nodded. “It sure does, boy.”

  Plankton let out a big sigh.

  “Why don’t you scurry along, Plankton?” Mr. Krabs said. “I’ve got a successful business to run.” He and the customers laughed. Plankton gave another sob, hung his little green head, and slunk out of the Krusty Krab.

  “Thanks for coming!” Mr. Krabs called after his defeated enemy. “Have a nice day!”

  Outside, Plankton walked over to a signpost, leaned his forehead against it, and wept.

  A little while later, Mr. Krabs watched Plankton through a telescope. He was still leaning against the signpost. “He’s been out there crying for twenty minutes,” Mr. Krabs said. “Pathetic.” He peered through the telescope, then snapped it shut. “I’m just gonna go out there and gloat a little!”

  Humming a happy tune, Mr. Krabs hurried out the front door.

  Meanwhile, inside the safe in Mr. Krabs’s office, Plankton’s last penny was doing something unusual for a coin.

  It was moving.

  The penny wiggled, stood on edge, rolled, and suddenly popped open. Hidden inside the penny was … PLANKTON!

  He laughed and spoke into a tiny microphone hidden inside the penny. “Cyclops to Laptop,” he said. “Cyclops to Laptop. Come in, Laptop!”

  In the Chum Bucket, Plankton’s computer wife, Karen, was playing solitaire on her screen. She heard her husband and answered, “Laptop? You DO realize that nickname is demeaning. I have TWICE the processing power of a laptop!”

  Plankton answered in code. “Chicken is in the bread pan, kicking out dough.”

  But Karen didn’t understand. “Wait,” she said, confused. “You’re in a bread pan?”

  Annoyed that she’d forgotten their secret code, Plankton snapped, “Never mind. Maintain radio silence.” He looked around the inside of Mr. Krabs’s safe and spotted the Krabby Patty secret formula rolled up and corked in a bottle. “Finally!” he said, laughing triumphantly.