Arousing Love, a teen novel (complete)

by M. H. Strom

  “My philosophy?”

  “Yes, why do you paint what you paint? What is your art for?” He prompted.

  “Well, I guess I’m trying to capture something . . . something perfect that’s beyond my reach . . . but my art is more than just striving after beauty, I want it to mean something. To paint something that can communicate a thought or feeling. I don’t want to create things that have no meaning, that are random or instinctual. I like to paint with my rational mind, placing meaning into it that is meant to be there. So I guess my philosophy is that art is an expression of the soul, and in my view, the soul expresses itself with purpose and rational creativity.”

  Professor Harris’s eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t believe the soul can create things instinctually, or add subconscious meaning that the rational mind doesn’t know or understand?”

  “Well, I know many people believe the soul can express itself subconsciously in art, but I think this belief that art magically allows your soul to express itself unconsciously has meant a lot of art is random and actually has no meaning. It leads to this whole idea that the meaning of art is whatever the viewer thinks it is. But I believe the true expression of the soul is when you consciously express something purposefully. And truly creative people use their imagination and creative intelligence to conceive and create. That is a true representation of the soul, not some random thing that you have to try and interpret later, but something that has real meaning and has been created with the purpose of expressing it. When the viewer is the one who finds meaning in the art instead of the artist placing the meaning in it there is no room for art to speak a message and communicate ideas. I believe we, as artists, should speak to the world through our art and communicate real meaning in our art, or else our medium is wasted and thoughtless and powerless.”

  “What about the communicating of emotions?” Professor Harris asked again.

  “Randomness can’t communicate anything in my opinion. It could be a random attempt at creating beauty or something, but it isn’t expressing emotions. The soul can expresses emotions rationally, isn’t that what poetry does? The rational expressions of the heart? You don’t see a poet randomly write down words and letters to express his emotions.”

  All three of them were just staring at me.

  Then the dean spoke. “Well, you certainly have some strong opinions which you’ll be able to explore more fully in a course of study like this one. Higher learning gives one the opportunity to gain a broader understanding and widen one’s perspective.”

  I caught a whiff of condescension in his voice.

  “I understand what you’re saying, Zach,” the woman professor now spoke, “and I thank you for speaking with such honesty about your artistic philosophy. I think what you need to understand, though, is that art is naturally instinctive. When you paint, you instinctively choose the color and where you place it on the canvas. You know how to make that paint look the way you want it to. When someone paints abstract art it is not mere randomness, they paint instinctively, placing each color and each drop of paint where they instinctively want it to go. In your art you paint instinctively as well as rationally because you wish to portray meaning in your art, and I think this is what you are trying to say about your philosophy, that you paint with meaning and not just instinct.”

  “Yes, I see what you mean. I do paint with an artistic instinct, you’re right.”

  She smiled at me. “I think you’ll really enjoy the intellectual discussions we have in our art history and philosophy classes.”

  “Does anyone else have any further questions for Zach?” The dean looked around at the other professors. “No? Is there anything you’d like to add, Zach? Do you have any questions for us?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “If you could step outside for a moment I think we’ll be able to give you our decision right away as we’ve already interviewed all the other candidates. You’re our lucky last one.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Yes, just step into the other room. We’ll call you when we’ve finished deliberating.”

  I went back out to the other room and closed the door behind me. I wasn’t expecting this, I didn’t think they’d give me the verdict instantly. I was shaky with nerves. Man I was stupid saying all that stuff about my philosophy. What was I thinking? They already liked my paintings, I just had to keep it simple and say the right things and I was in. I swallowed. Please God, make them favorable towards me.

  “Zach, you can come back in now.” The dean called from the doorway.

  That was quick. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I came back into the room and took my seat.

  “We’ve decided to offer you the scholarship, Zach. Your artwork is outstanding, and quite frankly you’re our first choice for the scholarship. The second place is going to be a lot harder to decide,” the dean said, and the others murmured in agreement. I sat there completely stunned.

  The woman professor smiled kindly. “The discussion about your philosophy helped us see the passion you have for your art. You obviously think deeply about things. We also could see you were able to listen to other viewpoints and learn from them and add that to your own perspective. That’s what we like to see in our students. And, of course, your portraiture work shows great promise. We’re looking forward to seeing where we can take you with that.”

  I was still stunned. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

  “I think he’s been struck dumb.” One of the men joked and the others laughed which helped snap me out of my daze.

  “I can’t believe it, I really didn’t expect this, thank you so much.”

  “Congratulations, Zach, I’m sure you’re going to make a fine addition to our school. We look forward to seeing you in the fall.” The woman professor was so nice.

  Each of the professors congratulated me and shook my hand.

  “Thank you.” I collected up all my canvases.

  “We’ll send you an official letter and some information about the scholarship, including all the requirements,” the dean said as he walked me to the door.

  “Requirements?”

  “Yes, you’ll have to keep up certain grades and class attendance. You’ll have a choice between living on campus or finding your own accommodation with a stipend to defray the costs. There’s a lot more information and we’ll be sending it out to you in the mail.”

  “Okay.”

  “Well, congratulations again, and we’ll see you in the fall.” He smiled and shook my hand.

  I was still stunned as I went back out to the receptionist to collect my bags. I showed her Joanna’s birthday invitation to get directions to her house, and she said her street was only five blocks away, pointing in the direction I should go.

  I walked out of there feeling so relieved and happy. Just imagine what Joanna’s going to say. I can’t wait to tell her.

  I carried my bags, one was small and heavy with my clothes in it, the other was big and light with just my canvases and some padding. I walked in the direction I’d been told, breathing in the fresh mountain air. It was starting to sink in now—I was going to go to art school. I was going to move to Colorado. I was going to marry Joanna! Wow. It was so immense. My life had completely changed in one moment. “Thank you God!” I said out loud. I was about to see my beautiful Joanna and give her the biggest surprise and the best news ever. She even lives close to the school, how good is that? We’ll be able to see each other all the time. I felt so good I wanted to leap in the air.

  Twelve

  I strode the five blocks with growing anticipation imagining the look on Joanna’s face when she opens the door and sees me standing there.

  It was a strange feeling being surrounded by mountains instead of the ocean. It felt enclosed like being in a room without a window.

  I found Joanna’s street and started down it. It was a beautiful, tree lined street with elegant old houses. A few blocks down and I was standing in front of their stately, two-sto
ry house painted blue with a pretty garden in the front yard. I walked up the path to their front porch feeling so many emotions at once. I put my bags down and rang the doorbell. Wouldn’t it be an anticlimax if she wasn’t even home.

  I heard someone coming and the door opened. Joanna’s mother stood there blinking at me.

  “Zach! We weren’t expecting you.”

  Before I could say anything I heard a scream and Joanna came running. “Zach!” She leaped into my arms. “You’re here!”

  I was stunned, but as I looked again upon the beautiful girl I was in love with, her eyes dancing, her face radiant with joy, all the love I’d ever felt for her flooded over me filling me to overflowing. I couldn’t hold back my emotions, tears filled my eyes as I tried to wipe them away. Joanna was suddenly kissing me and I pulled her to me. We stood there kissing in the doorway. Her mother cleared her throat in an obvious attempt to remind us she was still there but we were too busy wrapped up in each other to care about anything else.

  “Hey, you two, if you’re gonna do that you should at least come inside. Our neighbors can see you.” There was an amused, happy tone to her voice.

  We walked into the house arm in arm. Joanna’s mother brought my bags inside for me since I’d completely forgotten about them. I was floating, my emotions were beyond anything I could comprehend. Joanna was so happy and excited, she was just bubbling with joy.

  “I was praying you’d come. I can’t believe you’re here! You’re the best present ever. I’m so happy. You didn’t even tell me! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” She was talking so fast I had to laugh. I felt so happy my laughter brought me close to tears again.

  We sat down on the sofa in their living room still clinging to each other.

  “Joanna, guess what? I’ve got something amazing to tell you.”

  “What is it?” She looked like she was about to burst.

  “One of the colleges I got a rejection from had a scholarship program that all applicants were eligible for—”

  “Did you get in?”

  “Let me tell you!” I laughed. “They chose me for an interview. I didn’t wanna tell you about it and raise your hopes up, but I went to the interview today—”

  “And you got in?”

  I laughed. “Yes! I’m moving to Colorado! I’m going to art school here, and the scholarship will pay for everything!”

  Joanna squealed. “Zach! Oh my goodness, I can’t believe it. Mom!” She shouted, “Zach is moving to Colorado! He got a scholarship!”

  Joanna’s mother came into the room. “You’re moving here, Zach?” Her face was expressionless and I couldn’t tell how she felt about it.

  “Yeah, I got a scholarship to the school just down the road.”

  “Oh, that’s a very good school. Will you be living on campus?”

  “I don’t know yet, I can live on campus or find my own apartment.”

  “I’ll help you find a place. I’ll ask my friends to help us.” Joanna was almost jumping with excitement.

  “Where are you staying tonight, Zach?” Her mom asked with motherly concern.

  “I guess I’ll find a hotel around here somewhere.”

  “You’re welcome to stay here tonight. We can pull out the sofa bed for you.”

  “Thanks, that’d be great.” I was surprised she trusted me that much. Joanna squeezed my hand in excitement.

  Her mom went back to what she’d been doing, and Joanna and I cuddled on the couch. It felt so good to be with her again. I breathed her in, I’d forgotten how good she smelled. I felt so warm and contented, like everything was the way it was supposed to be. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed this feeling of being with her. This is what they mean by bliss.

  Joanna spoke quietly, “Zach, you know what this means? We’re going to be married. God’s shown you it’s his will for us.”

  I smiled at her. She was so beautiful. I loved her so much. “You’re my gift from God, Joanna. I never even imagined he would bless me like this. I’m so happy.”

  “Me too.” She beamed. “God is so good. It’s like that verse, ‘Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.’ You put God first in your life and didn’t try to gain everything for yourself, and now God has given you your heart’s desire.”

  I was suddenly filled with so much joy and gratitude to God. My God who loves me.

  We stayed cuddled up on the couch talking quietly, murmuring little things in each other’s ears. Joanna’s mother gave us our privacy and left us alone.

  “I have to get ready for my party soon. They’re coming at five.”

  I’d forgotten about the party. I didn’t feel like meeting lots of people, I just wanted to keep cuddling like this forever.

  “Is there anything I can get you? We have lots of food.”

  “Yeah, actually I am a little hungry.” I’d hardly eaten all day.

  “Okay.” Joanna smiled as if pleased to be able to do something for me. “I’ll go get you something.” She untangled herself from me and got up, then bent down to give me a kiss on the lips. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

  I watched her go, admiring her slim, athletic grace. I’d almost forgotten how good she looked.

  She brought back a plate of assorted party food and a soda. “I’m gonna go get ready now. If you need anything else—”

  “Can I help you get ready?” I didn’t want to be left here by myself.

  “I’m gonna take a shower and get changed.” She giggled.

  “Oh, okay.” I smiled.

  “I won’t be long.” She flashed me a smile as she left the room again.

  After I’d eaten, I leaned back on the sofa and relaxed for the first time since the early morning rush to the airport. It felt good to rest in the goodness of life. I felt so contented, the excitement was over and a blissful feeling remained.

  “How do I look?” Joanna came into the room and spun around in front of me. She was wearing a sleek, long dress that looked so elegant on her. It reminded me of our first date.

  “You look amazing. I forgot to say happy birthday. You’re sixteen today!”

  “Am I old enough for you now?” She tilted her head and smiled at me.

  “Yes.” I grinned. “I have a present for you. You wanna open it now?”

  “What is it?”

  I laughed. “I’ll get it for you.” I went fishing through my bag and offered her the neatly wrapped package.

  She ripped into it finding the small jewelry case first. She opened it and her face filled with delight. It was a gold necklace with a heart shaped locket. She opened the locket and saw the photo of us inside.

  “Ohh I love it. Thank you!” She kissed me.

  She turned around, holding her hair away from her neck so I could put the necklace on for her, and I kissed her bare neck and shoulders while the opportunity presented itself, making her giggle.

  “There’s more too. Did you see?”

  “Yeah, what is it?” She grabbed the package again and pulled out the photo album I’d made for her. It had copies of all the photos we’d taken of each other, and I’d also taken some photos of the places that were special to us—the cove, and the shack, and the restaurant we’d gone to on our first date. I had photos of some of my paintings in there as well. She turned the pages looking at each one, some made her laugh and some made her smile whimsically. “We’ve got photos too, from the talent contest and before we went on our date. You wanna see them?”

  “Sure.”

  The doorbell rang and Joanna ran to answer it. She squealed and hugged whoever it was at the door and I heard their excited chatter. It sounded like there was more than one, and sure enough two girls were invited in.

  “Zach, these are my best friends, Emma and Crystal.”

  “Hi.” I smiled.

  “We’ve heard sooo much about you.”

  “So when are you getting married?” The two girls giggled.

  I looked at
Joanna and she blushed.

  “Look what Zach gave me for my birthday.” Joanna diverted them.

  The three girls were soon hovering over the photo album. They talked so fast punctuated only by giggles. Every now and again Joanna would look at me and smile apologetically.

  More people arrived and soon there was a group of young people mingling in the living room. The music was cranked up and party food was put out on the table. Joanna flitted around talking to everyone. I moved my bags out of the way and stayed out of the way myself, content just to look on.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Joanna’s father. “Hey Zach, it’s really good to see you again.” He grinned.

  “Yeah, it’s good to see you too.”

  Joanna’s father looked around at the party goers. I followed his gaze. Joanna was surrounded by giggling girls. I could hear her voice above all the hubbub even from across the room, “I know, I’m so lucky.” She was bubbling with excitement, enjoying all the attention.

  “She seems so different when she’s with her friends.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, I know, but she’s still the same Joanna we know and love.” He looked at me and smiled. “Come on, let’s go into the kitchen so we can talk.”

  I followed him down the hallway. The kitchen was large and had a table and chairs where we could sit.

  “I just got home. I was surprised to see you here.”

  “I had an interview today. I’ve been offered a scholarship to the art school down the road.”

  “Really? That’s excellent. I’m glad for you, Zach. I’m really glad you made it here.” He grinned and gave my shoulder a slap.

  “Did Joanna tell you what happened with getting into college and everything?”

  “Yeah, she told us you hadn’t got in.”

  “I made getting into college a sign from God. I wanted God to show me clearly if it was his will that I come to Colorado or not. So I applied to four colleges but I didn’t get in to any of them, and that was the hardest time of my life, but somehow I still found the faith to trust in God. And then I got this scholarship—out of all the thousands of people who applied to that college they chose me for a full scholarship. I know it was God that did it. He didn’t do it the way I thought he would, he did it his way, and his way is so much better. It’s so amazing, and it’s just happened today.”