Without

by E. E. Borton

  “One sound and this bullet comes out of your face,” I said. “Get up slow.”

  He complied.

  “Turn around.” I rested one gun between his eyes and the other in the center of his chest. “Walk to the window.”

  We both looked down into the backyard. One of the three had a young girl face down between his legs as he sat on the stairs to the pool. Another was punching a girl he was raping on a lounge chair. The third was sitting without pants, drinking a beer on the steps leading to the back door.

  “I’m going to open this window,” I said. “You’re going to yell down to the asshole sitting on the steps. You’re going to tell him to bring you a beer. Do you understand what’s going to happen if you say anything else?”

  “You’re…you’re gonna shoot me.”

  “I’m gonna shoot you a lot. The only way you make it out of here alive is by not pissing me off and doing everything I say.”

  “I will, mister. I don’t wanna die.”

  I opened the window and stood back. He didn’t want to die. When the man yelled he was coming up, we both moved into the bathroom. I holstered my gun and pulled out my knife. I turned him around, gripped his face with my hand, and slit his throat to his spine. I let go, pushing him into the tub so he could finish bleeding to death, unable to yell.

  Hearing the footsteps, I waited against the wall by the bedroom door. He walked by me, looking for his friend. Slapping my hand over his mouth, I opened him, dragging and dropping him on top of the first.

  Filling the tub with dying, voiceless cowards clenching their throats, I left the room. I had to leave the mother tied to the bed for a little longer. If I cut her loose, she’d run for her children, killing us all. I think she knew I was coming back. I think she knew I still had work to do. She stayed silent.

  There was no plan as I walked without caution onto the back porch and down the stairs. My only chance was if they were in the same places I saw them from the window. They both were, oblivious to what was coming.

  The fat man on the pool stairs was still pushing the young girl’s head down onto him. She was choking, crying as he smiled. He made my job easier when he threw his head back, howling. I sunk the blade – down to the handle – into the side of his neck. I ripped it out of him and kept walking. I heard the back of his head hit the concrete as I reached the last coward. He didn’t see or hear me coming.

  Throwing his rifle into the yard, I grabbed his ponytail, yanking him off of her and onto the ground. He jumped up, thinking I was one of his buddies messing with him. He still had a hard on.

  “Hey, mother fu—” said Ponytail, losing his erection. “Who the hell are you? Hey, Joe!”

  He looked around me to see his friend bleeding out on the pool steps. He saw my dripping knife. “Andy! Carl! Get the fuck down here! Now!”

  “They’re not coming,” I said.

  “Help me! Help me!” yelled Ponytail.

  I pulled a pistol to keep him from running from the knife. He was standing naked, paralyzed with fear, with his hands in the air. I soaked it in.

  “Get on the ground and don’t move. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir. Yes, sir.”

  I turned to see the two traumatized girls standing on the edge of the pool, holding each other. I walked towards them, but not too close. I saw that they were afraid of me.

  “What are your names?”

  “I’m K-Katie and this is Mary Anne. Where’s her mother?”

  “She’s upstairs,” I said. “She’s okay. I’ll take you to her very soon, but I need your help. Can you help me?”

  “I can,” said Katie.

  “Tyler is out front by the oak tree, waiting for you. I need you to watch her, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  They put on their bathing suits, leaving me in the backyard with Ponytail. “The only way you make it out of here alive is by not pissing me off and doing everything I say.”

  “Okay, sir. We’z just havin’ a little fun, you know. We weren’t gonna hurt ‘em.”

  “Not another fucking word, Ponytail. Put on your clothes. You’ve got work to do.”

  I made him drag fat man from the pool, taking him into the woods on the other side of the backyard fence. Going upstairs, I untied Mary Anne’s mother who joined her girls by the oak tree. Ponytail carried his other two friends, piling them together in the woods. Before I bound him to a tree next to them, I made him clean up every drop of blood in the house and around the pool.

  Finding the mother and three girls sitting in a huddle under the tree, I knelt down beside them. “Where would you like me to lay your husband to rest?”

  “Right here,” said the mother. “Under this tree, please. It’s where we used to come to talk.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Brian. My name is Hope.”

  “Your house is clean, Hope. It’s going to be dark in a few hours. You and the girls go inside while I take care of Brian. I’m also going to take care of the others. You’re safe now. You’re all safe now. I’ll let you know when I’m finished.”

  “Thank you,” said Hope. “Thank you for saving my children.”

  “Go on, now,” I said. “Take the girls inside.”

  Cutting Ponytail loose, I put him back to work. “You need to dig this one fast. You have three more to fill before sunset.”

  He was exhausted when he finished the third hole in the woods behind the house. If I would’ve made him dig four, he probably would’ve tried to fight. It’s harder to dig a grave than fill one. I wanted him to use up his energy, not mine.

  Unlike Brian’s grave, I didn’t bury them to give them a place to rest. I buried them deep in the woods so the girls would never have to see – or smell – them again. Sam joined me as Ponytail rolled Andy into the last hole. He crawled out, putting his hands on his knees, breathing heavy.

  “Last one, boss. I’ll have it filled in a jiffy.”

  “Stand up straight.”

  “Okay, boss,” said Ponytail, sucking wind. “I am truly sorry, sir, you know, for what we did to them girls. You taught me a lesson I ain’t never gonna forget. No, sir, never. Is them your people?”

  “My people?”

  “Yes, boss,” said Ponytail. “Your family. Your people.”

  “No.”

  “You’s just walkin’ by?”

  “Just walking by, Ponytail.”

  “Dang, you some kinda hero then, ain’t ya.”

  “Apologize to her,” I said.

  “Okay, boss. I will. Like I said, I am sorry for what –”

  “Not to those women. You’ll never put your eyes on them again. No, you apologize to Sam.”

  “Who?”

  “Tell Sam that you’re a coward and that you’re sorry for hurting her. Scream it at the top of your fucking lungs so she can hear you. If she does, then I won’t kill you.”

  He did, but I didn’t keep up my end of the deal. I told him to turn around and look at his friend lying in the hole. I grabbed his ponytail one last time, dragging the blade across his neck, kicking him down on top of the other. I started dropping dirt on him before he stopped jerking. I guess he didn’t think I’d double up the last hole with two cowards.

  It’s harder to dig a grave than fill one.

  Chapter 13

  Crossroads

  Throwing the last shovel of dirt over Ponytail, I stood over the graves, admiring my work. Killing them was easy. Killing was becoming easy. I felt invincible.

  “Now that’s what I call thinnin’ the heard,” said Earl, sitting on a log behind me. “I wish you could’ve seen yourself.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean the Angel of Death was sheddin’ tears of pride for you, son,” said Earl, chuckling. “You was just walking around, cool as a cucumber, exterminating them boys like they was cockroaches. Man, that was somethin’ to behold.”

  “You’re a religious man. Are you okay with what I did?”

  “The
y was gonna take that baby,” said Earl, lowering his head, losing his laugh. “I could see into their black hearts. They was gonna use up them girls, kill ‘em, and then take that baby. Lord ain’t got no problem with what you did, and neither do I. They burnin’ in hell right now where they belong. No, sir, Lord ain’t got no problem with that.”

  “I walked away, Earl,” I said. “Sam had to tell me to go back. I looked at that little girl, standing over her dead father, and I walked away. I was scared to death. Sam had to show me what happened to her. She showed me what they –”

  “Ain’t no need for you to explain nothin’ to me. I know what she showed you, but Sam wasn’t there when you went back in that house. Your strength. Your will. That was the hand of God takin’ hold of yours and makin’ things right.”

  “Why would God let that happen in the first place? Why does He need me to do his will? Those women are going to be living a lifetime of pain. Why would He do that to them?”

  “That’s a big question,” said Earl. “Bigger than I am. But I can tell you this. God ain’t the only one out there. There’s a devil, too. God has to let things play out to see what we gonna do about it. That’s how we get judged. He’s crying for them girls, but he spared that baby. You gotta see both sides, son. You can’t have one without the other.”

  “So this is the way it’s going to be?” I asked. “I got lucky, Earl. They were all busy when I walked up on them. The next time, maybe I’m not so lucky. Maybe I’m busy when they walk up on me.

  “I’ve killed twelve men in six days. I see their faces every night in my dreams. I see their faces, not Sam’s. How many more do I have to kill before He allows me to dream about her? How many more before I’ve earned a little peace?”

  “I don’t know,” said Earl. “I don’t know His plan for you.”

  “That’s all you’ve got?”

  “Hee, hee, yep. That’s all I got.”

  “That’s pretty weak,” I said, looking at the mound. “What about…”

  Earl decided it was a good time to leave me.

  Returning to the house, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. When I came through the doorway, all the talking stopped. My heart sank looking at the battered faces trying to push smiles through the cuts and bruises.

  “Oh, look at you,” said Hope, standing. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Looking down at my shirt, I could see I was covered in blood. I could only imagine what my face looked like; probably the same. I followed her upstairs. She directed me to the bathroom while she entered a closet. The tub once full of dying cowards was now filled with clean water. She entered the bathroom with an armload of clothes.

  “I heated it up as best I could,” said Hope. “Here are some fresh clothes for after your bath.”

  “Hope, you don’t have to do this.”

  “Of course I do. You didn’t have to do what you did either. Please, let me at least get you cleaned up.”

  I obliged. Sam would be happy I was taking a bath two days in a row.

  Sinking into the warm water, I exhaled. I didn’t wait for the wrinkles, washing quickly and putting on the clothes Hope laid out for me. I knew they were Brian’s. I didn’t think he would mind.

  She was sitting on the edge of the bed when I opened the door. Hope stood with a wide smile. “They fit. I knew they would. The girls have made you something to eat. They want you to know how thankful they are.”

  As I followed her back to the kitchen, it hit me. Looking at the girls frantically setting a table with the best they had, it hit me. They were still terrified. Now they were terrified I was going to leave them.

  “There’s plenty here, so eat until you pop,” said Katie, pulling out a chair for me.

  “So are you from here?” asked Mary Anne, putting a bowl of soup in front of me. It clattered, spilling onto the plate from her trembling hands. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Mary Anne, you have to be more careful,” said Hope, extending a cloth to wipe the spill. “We just got him cleaned up.”

  “It’s okay,” I said.

  “She’s always been a bit clumsy,” said Hope, smiling. “She’s always tripping or dropping something. It keeps things entertaining around here.”

  “Daddy always says that –”

  “Mary Anne,” interrupted Hope, cocking her head, staring at her.

  “What would you like to drink?” asked Mary Anne, getting the hint, changing the subject. “We have water, tea, and juice.”

  “Or something stronger if you like,” said Hope. “There’s plenty of that, too.”

  “Water is fine, thank you.”

  It was surreal. A few hours earlier, they were being brutalized, tortured, and raped by three men they didn’t know. Now, they doted on another. With fresh cuts still oozing blood, they were trying so hard to be normal; to be accommodating. I imagine they were told by their mother to do whatever it took to keep me there, keeping them safe. Whatever pain they were going through had to wait.

  I had to leave. I had to leave now.

  Without saying a word I left the kitchen to gather my things. I heard more talking and then I heard a chair slide. Hope came into the living room where I was strapping on my pack.

  “I know you must have somewhere you need to go,” said Hope, pleading with her eyes. “You must have a family waiting for you at home. But you shouldn’t travel at night. It’s too dangerous. Please stay here and rest. We’ll get you up early and send you on your way after a good breakfast. You shouldn’t travel on an empty stomach.”

  “I do have somewhere to go, Hope. I’m already very late. Thank you for dinner and the clothes, but I have to go now.”

  Hope dropped her head. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t protect my girls. Please, for one night, let them sleep knowing nobody is going to hurt them. Please.”

  “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

  Walking down the front stairs, crossing the lawn toward the oak tree, I heard footsteps running up behind me. Just keep walking.

  “You can’t leave us!” said Katie. “What if they come back?”

  “They’re dead,” I said, keeping up my pace. “They won’t be coming back.”

  “Not them,” said Katie. “I’m not stupid. I mean others. There’s more like them out there. How are we going to stop them?”

  “Katie!” screamed Hope, standing on the porch. “Get back in here this instant. Let him go!”

  “Coward,” whispered Katie, turning and running back to the house.

  It stopped me in my tracks, but only for a moment. I didn’t owe them anything. I risked my life to save theirs. It wasn’t my problem if they couldn’t see that. They were alive because of me.

  Fuck you, Katie. You have no idea what I’ve been through.

  The anger lasted for two miles. I wasn’t even sure I was on the right road. I stopped at an intersection to get my bearings. Looking at where the sun was setting, I knew I was going in the right direction. I turned and started walking the wrong way. I imagine my anger was standing there at the crossroads, trying to figure out what the hell I was doing. I had no idea.

  Looking across the field lit by a full moon, I saw a large tractor perched on top of a hill. It had an enclosed cabin that would protect me against the elements if Mother Nature decided to throw a fit. The image of baseball sized hail denting my skull while I slept was still too powerful to ignore. Besides, I had thrown away my tent. It was as good a place as any to settle for the night.

  Impressed by the amount of room in the cabin, I climbed inside and removed my pack. The driver’s seat was huge and built for comfort during a long day of work behind the wheel. I swiveled it to the side, which allowed me to stretch my legs away from the pedals. Pulling the lever, I reclined the seat.

  Oh, yes. This is going to work well.

  “Isn’t this cozy,” said Sam.

  “It is,” I replied.

  “I’m sorry I had to show you those things,” said Sam. “I didn’t know
what else to do. I thought you were going to leave them.”

  “It was my fault, baby,” I said. “I made you do it, and I’m so sorry. I was going to leave them. You did the right thing. You never have to apologize to me. Never.”

  “I know you can’t save them all,” said Sam, climbing up on the seat with me. “I have to learn that. I just couldn’t learn it today. That little girl; the things that they were going to do to her.”

  “Earl told me,” I said. “And by the way, nice work ganging up on me. Now I’ve got both of you in my ear. I don’t have a chance, do I, princess?”

  “He really is a good man,” said Sam, laughing. “He can help you with things I can’t. He likes you a lot, too. He enjoys the conversations with you.”

  “He was a good choice,” I said. “I enjoy his company as well. He’s a bit on the religious side, but he tells me things in a way that make sense. I think those kind of talks are going to be harder to find as the days pass. Yeah, he was a good choice.”

  “That makes me happy,” said Sam, reaching around my neck, squeezing me tight.

  After a moment of bliss she relaxed her grip around me, turning to look out the window of the cabin. “Do you think more are coming?”

  “I know more are coming,” I said.

  “Tonight?”

  “I hope not.”

  “Look at me,” said Sam, taking my face in her hands. “You are the best man I know. I’m so proud of you. You didn’t need me or Earl for this one. I love you.”

  “I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” I said.

  “Okay, sir. You need to get back to work. If you need me, I won’t be far.”

  “Sounds good, angel.”

  She crawled out of my lap, leaving me in the still cabin. The silence was broken by the sound of distant thunder. A green hue on the horizon showed a light storm was approaching. It looked as if it was going to be a big one. Behind the thick glass of the tractor, I felt safe.

  Reaching down by my side, I pulled up the Remington. By the light of a small candle, I adjusted the scope to compensate for the distance. When it was zeroed in, I blew out the candle, raising the powerful rifle to my shoulder.