Up in Flames

by Abbi Glines

  “Ask me to fuck you,” he snarled in my ear.

  “Fuck me,” I said, panting.

  “Beg me, dammit. Beg for it, you little bitch,” he demanded, and he bit my shoulder so hard I yelled his name.

  “Please, please, fuck me! Fuck me harder!” I begged.

  “That’s it, baby. Cry for me. I like to hear you cry while I take this pussy.”

  I knew his talk shouldn’t turn me on and make me wild. I should be insulted and even scared. But I wasn’t. I wanted it so badly I was willing to beg for it whenever he told me to. The orgasms he could give me rocked me to my core and caused the world to explode. For that kind of beauty, I’d accept the darkness. Because to me, it was its own kind of beautiful.

  His hands squeezed my breasts, and he pinched my nipples as his hard thrusts continued. “Tight, magic pussy,” he muttered, as he slowed his rhythm. “Keep squeezing my cock with that pussy like that, and I’m going to beat your ass. Don’t fucking tease me, woman.”

  I tried not to squeeze, but the closer I got to an orgasm, the more I reacted. “I can’t,” I choked out, and a hard slap came down on my ass.

  “You do as I fucking say.”

  I closed my eyes tightly, the orgasm hit me, and I screamed his name.

  “That’s it, sweetheart,” he encouraged with a whisper in my ear, before trailing his tongue down my neck.

  If only I had known in that perfect moment that three hours later, it would all crumble apart. This piece of paradise I thought I’d found. The man I thought was my match in every way . . . wasn’t.

  Would I have done it anyway?

  Yes. Probably.

  After sex, Gannon finished bathing me in the shower and even conditioned my hair before we stepped out. Then he wrapped me in a towel and left me to get ready. He had dinner plans for us. I spent extra time making myself as beautiful as possible. Every moment I spent with him made me want more. I wanted him to want me just as badly.

  I met Gannon downstairs in the lobby, but just as we were leaving, it happened.

  “You motherfucking asshole!” A female screech ripped through the lobby. I stopped as a tall, leggy blonde who looked like a Vegas showgirl was suddenly in Gannon’s face. “This! This is what you’re doing? Seriously, Gannon? I tell you that we’re going to have a baby, and this is what you go do? I can’t believe you!” She threw her hands out dramatically, then turned her focus to me. Her gaze ran up and down my body, her face betraying a look of disgust. “Money. Figures. You sniff them out like a bloodhound. She’s loaded. She smells of it.” The girl all but spat out her words and shot me one last disgusted look before turning back to Gannon. “I gave you time. Space. And whatever the hell you wanted. But you promised you would be there for me and our baby. I can’t do this without you.” Her voice dropped, and she sounded close to tears now.

  A sick knot grew in my stomach. Complete disbelief slowly morphed into acceptance. Gannon had seemed too good to be true because he was exactly that. He was a fraud. He didn’t know who my father was or about the balance in my bank account, but he’d spotted me and latched on because I looked expensive.

  It made sense now. No man had treated me so well before. Why would someone start now? I was expendable. I always had been. Even to my own father.

  I took a step away from the scene, and Gannon finally turned to look at me. He didn’t say anything, but I could see the truth in his eyes. She wasn’t lying. He knew her, and this was all very real.

  I just shook my head, because I didn’t have words to say what I wanted to say.

  “I’m sorry, Nan,” he said.

  I didn’t wait for more. I turned and left him standing there. The man I had built into an idea of someone I could really be with. But he was worse than Major. At least Major hadn’t done this to me. He’d been honest about his whorish ways. He’d never promised me more. It was me and my stupid need to be wanted. To belong to someone. For one man on this earth to believe I was worth it.

  I wanted to be someone’s Harlow. Or Blaire.

  But I’d always just be Nan. And Nan wasn’t enough. I never had been, and I was done trying to be.

  Cope

  An unfamiliar emptiness ached in my chest. Typically, there was no emotion there. From the moment the woman who had given me life forced me out of her home and into the streets at the age of ten because I was one too many mouths to feed, I’d stopped feeling anything for most people. The streets will do that to you, especially when you’re just a kid.

  The red locks of her hair swayed as she ran from me. Back to the elevator and to the safety of her suite. I didn’t trust women, especially that one. She was hiding too much. I wouldn’t feel guilty for this. I didn’t feel guilty for shit. This was my job. It was what I was good at. The bitch would go running back to Major and be back in his bed by nightfall. I would witness it all on the surveillance cameras planted all over her house. Cameras I had planted while she slept.

  I glanced back at the struggling actress and nodded my head. She had completed her job and would receive an envelope with several crisp hundreds in it within the hour. She turned and walked toward the doors of the casino. My bags were already packed and in the waiting car outside. I would watch Nan board her father’s private jet and head back to Rosemary Beach before I followed her.

  Sliding into the backseat of the Mercedes I’d used while in town, I could still smell a hint of her perfume. I hated that. Fucking wanted it gone. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a text to Major.

  She’s running back now was all I typed.

  “I’ll need to see her board her private jet. Once she’s on it, I’ll be ready to head back,” I instructed Amish. He had been working for DeCarlo longer than I had. He was a driver, bodyguard, and occasional chef for DeCarlo and his head officers. He had three kids, ages thirty-three, thirty-nine, and forty-one, all successful in the investment world, all female. DeCarlo had gone to each of their college graduations and given them their first cars.

  Amish was a good man. A good father and husband. Never once had I seen him cheat on Henrietta, his wife of forty-five years. His ultimate pride and joy were his three grandsons: George, Charlie, and Frank. They were all younger than ten, and Amish loved telling stories about them. He was what I believed a real man should be. I respected him in many ways. I just would never be like him. I wasn’t a good man.

  Needing to clear my mind of her lingering scent, I laid my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. “What’s the latest on your grandsons, Amish? Is Charlie still playing soccer? And did George enter that art contest?”

  That was all it took for Amish to distract me. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the glow of pride in the man’s words. That was what a kid needed to succeed in life. To grow and achieve something beyond the shadows.

  I only knew the shadows. Nan would never see me again. I’d be a memory for her that she’d regret and soon forget. My existence would slowly fade, and I’d be back in the shadows, where I dwelled without need of emotion.

  Major

  Once the text from Cope came through, the weight on my chest lifted. I knew my chance to fix things was almost here.

  I had debated waiting at the private airport where Nan would land or going to her house, but I figured both would give away the fact that I knew she was headed home, which was a bad move.

  The idea of her being hurt didn’t sit well with me, but I wanted the chance to make it all right. To show her I could be what she needed. Other girls weren’t even appealing right now. I didn’t like the man I’d turned into when I’d lost her. This time, I would do things right. I would prove her innocence and get DeCarlo’s men off her trail.

  We had a job to do, and we were wasting time on Nan. She didn’t need this in her life. I wanted to know she was safe. I wanted to see her truly happy. Fuck, what was wrong with me?

  I was not in love with her. Jesus, why did I sound like I was? I needed to fucking focus.

  Slacker Demon’s pri
vate jet came into view as it began descending. I was hidden in my truck, out of sight. The taste of the cigarettes still lingered on my tongue. I needed to make sure she got into her vehicle and got home safely. Then I’d text her. Check on her. Get back into her heart. I wasn’t sure what Cope had done to send her running home, but whatever it was, it was probably the right move.

  Looking through my binoculars, I could see her red hair as she emerged from the jet. She was dressed in a pair of gray fitted pants and a white blouse that was cut low and hugged her waist tightly. She always looked expensive and sexy all at once. Never uptight or trashy. She found the happy medium and made it work. I loved how she dressed.

  Rush walked up to her. I hadn’t expected him or even noticed him waiting for her. Damn, my head wasn’t in the game. I had just assumed her car would be waiting for her. I scanned the rest of the area for any other details I had missed. Rush’s Range Rover was parked behind the fence that ran along the perimeter of the jetway area. I hadn’t looked there.

  She hugged him tightly, and he held her in his arms. I couldn’t see his face, but she nodded at something he said. He pulled back, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and walked her toward his vehicle.

  I hoped this didn’t mean she was going home with him. I needed to see her alone.

  Once they took off, I gave them a few moments before slowly following them. Rush didn’t turn toward her house but instead headed toward his. Motherfucker. This was going to suck.

  Nan

  Rush pulled his car into the garage and cut the engine, then reached over and squeezed my hand. “Blaire has smoked salmon, some fancy-ass salad she makes with cranberries and goat cheese, and creamed spinach. It’s all healthy and shit. You’ll like it. Come on, she’s expecting us.”

  Blaire wasn’t a fan of mine. I’d not done much to make her like me. Once she’d pulled a gun on me, but in all honesty, I’d deserved it. My anger and bitterness toward the life I’d been given had needed an outlet. I’d needed someone to blame, and I’d chosen Blaire. Maybe because she was the perfect little blond girl I thought my father had chosen over me when I was a child. I’d been wrong, since she and I did not, in fact, share the same father. I’d been lied to by my mother about that.

  Maybe it was the fact that my brother, who had loved me most in the world, had fallen in love with her, and she’d become his number one. I had always found comfort in the fact that Rush loved me. Even when my mother didn’t act like it and my real father didn’t claim me, I knew my brother loved me. Blaire had stolen him from me—or at least that was how I saw it.

  Seeing Rush with his family—the way he loved his son, the way he gave his wife and child the life he’d never had—made me proud of him, though. He wasn’t taught how to be a good parent, yet he was a fantastic one. I had finally come to grips with his love for his wife. It didn’t mean he didn’t love me, too. He loved us differently, and I was OK sharing him. That didn’t mean I was going to start hugging Blaire and being buddies and shit, though.

  “Nate is looking forward to seeing Aunt Nan. He’s been talking about it ever since I told him you’d be coming for dinner. He expects you to sleep in his room.”

  Having Nate’s love also helped me accept Blaire. She’d given life to a little boy who loved me. I didn’t have a lot of love in my world. My nephew was special. He loved me without fail, and I, in return, couldn’t hate his mother. I adored that kid.

  “I’m sure whatever Nate asks me to do, I’ll do,” I replied honestly. He owned me.

  Rush chuckled. “I know the feeling. Come on inside. I’ll grab your bags.”

  I climbed out of the Range Rover, and we headed into the house. The smell of dinner was in the air, and it made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten all day, and I hadn’t been sure I’d be able to stomach anything tonight, though the delicious smells from the kitchen were giving me second thoughts.

  “Aunt Nan!” Nate called out with pure joy in his voice as he ran toward me. He looked like he’d grown three inches since I’d seen him last. That made me sad. He wasn’t a baby anymore. He didn’t smell like a baby but like a sweaty little boy. I bent down and wrapped him in my arms as he held on tight.

  “I got two new crabs today!” he told me gleefully.

  Rush groaned behind me. “We’re going to turn into a crab farm if you keep bringing home new ones.”

  Nate nodded vigorously, like that was the best idea he’d ever heard. “Yeah!” he agreed.

  Giggling, I kissed his forehead. “I missed you.”

  He kissed my forehead with a crooked grin so much like his father’s. “I missed you, too.”

  “I missed you more,” I told him.

  “I missed you to the moon and back” was his quick response.

  Laughing, I squeezed him tighter.

  “We got fish to eat,” he informed me. “And mac and cheese.”

  “Momma caved and made you mac and cheese, huh?” Rush asked, sounding amused.

  “Yeah. I like it better than that spinch stuff.” He replied with a wrinkle in his small nose.

  “You’re still eating some of that ‘spinch’ stuff,” Blaire said as she walked into the room. I lifted my head to see her smiling at her son. Then she met my gaze, and her smile remained just as sincere. “Hello, Nan. I’m glad you’ve come to visit. He’s been asking about you. You’ve been missed.”

  Not one word she said sounded forced or fake. Blaire was genuine. She had a huge heart, and she forgave without fault. I understood why my brother loved her. I was glad he’d fallen in love with a woman like her. Even if I had hated her.

  “She’s gonna make you eat the spinch stuff, too,” Nate warned me.

  The small laugh that came from inside me felt good. I hadn’t felt like laughing today, and I’d been sure it would be a while before I laughed again. Being near Nate tonight was exactly what I needed. I could forget my failures and inadequacies. I wished I could say I could forget Gannon, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that anytime soon. He’d made a mark I would feel for a long time.

  “How about you and I both eat the ‘spinch,’ and then I’ll take you for ice cream if Mom and Dad say it’s OK.”

  Nate’s eyes lit up, and he beamed at me. “Deal!” he cried out, and his arms squeezed my neck tightly.

  I glanced up at Blaire to see if I was in trouble, but her smile told me it was OK.

  I wanted what she had. I’d never get it, and a part of me hated her out of pure envy. She was everything I’d never be. She had a life I’d never know. My nephew and niece would be the only kids to show me unconditional love. My chest ached, but I pushed those thoughts away. Feeling sorry for myself was pointless. I knew that already.

  Major

  The dozen red roses in my hand had cost more than one hundred dollars. I hadn’t counted them as an expense, because I didn’t want this to feel like part of my job. This apology was real. Even if she didn’t know the difference between my work and what was genuine, I did. That mattered.

  Her car pulled into the driveway, and I stood on the front step I’d been sitting on. I knew the moment her eyes met mine. Even with her dark sunglasses on, I could feel the heat from her glare. She didn’t want me here. Even after Cope had hurt her, she wasn’t ready to come back to me. To forgive me. But I would fix that.

  She sat for a moment in her car, and I began to wonder if she would back out and leave without a word. I hoped the massive bouquet in my hands would persuade her to step out and at least talk to me. I mouthed the word please, knowing she could see my face clearly.

  Her shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh, and she slipped off her sunglasses and opened her car door. Success. Now for the next part of my plan.

  She sashayed up to the steps with an annoyed look in her eyes, and I almost wanted to laugh. I’d missed that haughty look. I’d missed a lot about Nan. She entertained me, and even when she was at her bitchiest, she had this soft spot underneath that not many people ever got a glimpse of. I was lucky.
She’d let me see it.

  “Why are you here?” she snapped, not even glancing at the roses in my hand.

  I held them out to her. “I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t reach for them. She ignored them completely and rolled her eyes at me as if I was a child in need of a scolding. “I don’t want damn roses. I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want you sitting on my front steps again. Ever.”

  Ouch. I hadn’t been prepared for angry Nan. “You said we could be friends. What happened to that? Doesn’t that mean you have to stop hating me?”

  She held up a hand to stop me and let out a hard, bitter laugh. “Stop it, please. You don’t want to be friends. You’ve made that clear. But I don’t want to hear your pathetic bullshit. You want me because you think you can’t have me. When I was yours to take, you treated me as an option. I was there when you were bored. I was there when you wanted company and there wasn’t a better choice. You liked knowing that I wanted you. That I waited for your calls. That I was there when you crooked your finger my way. You loved that I was enthralled by your pretty face and your charm. It was easy for you, and I was easy for you. But I’m over that now. I don’t ever want it back. I’m missing nothing by not having it. I’m free of the pull you had on me and the heartbreak you constantly put me through. I do not want you, Major Colt. This flower shit isn’t what friends do. Call me next time, don’t just stop by.”

  Her face was emotionless as she stood there with her red hair blowing off her face in the Gulf breeze. The fire in her eyes that I used to see every time she looked at me was gone. The attraction that sparked when our eyes met no longer lingered. She meant every word she’d just said. She wasn’t trying to hurt me or get a reaction out of me.

  “I want to go into my house, take a shower, and watch TV. Alone. Please leave. Don’t come back unless you’re invited. I’m moving past this and you. My heart is no longer in it. The game we were playing is done. I’m ready to live life without you. I wasn’t before, but I am now. Enjoy all your girls and all your silly games with someone else. It won’t be hard to find another female who’s stupid enough to adore you with nothing in return. That’s what you need to stroke your ego, so go find it. Because you won’t find it here anymore.”