Up in Flames

by Abbi Glines

  “What is with you and these damn envelopes? Is it not enough to hunt me down in public? You have to come after me in private, too? Maybe I could start texting you my daily whereabouts so you don’t waste your time tracking me down. Would that be helpful?”

  I snatched the envelope from his hand, expecting him to respond. But he didn’t. He just turned and walked away. Again.

  Damn him.

  I tore open the envelope and pulled out the same stationery. The very sight of it was beginning to annoy me.

  Smart quips. Another thing that makes you beautiful.

  I jerked my gaze up, hoping to find him still in earshot so I could yell curse words at him and see how smart he thought those quips were. But he was already in his truck and pulling away.

  There were four envelopes now, and I tried not to look at them as I walked past them. I tried to figure out a place to hide them or possibly throw them away. But I did neither. I kept them there; the idea of tossing them didn’t sit well with me. They were my letters. They didn’t say much, but they were mine. They were about me. Something someone saw in me and thought enough about to write it down.

  I might be done with Major Colt, but the letters were important.

  No one had ever given me letters before. No one had taken the time to point out things about me that they had noticed. Even if my tight clothing was one of those things. It was something. Something more than I imagined anyone would say to me in such a unique way.

  Written words were touching, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, they struck a chord in me. They made my walls crumble a little more with each note. They made me feel less untouchable and more real.

  I wasn’t sure when the letters would stop. When he’d give up on me. I didn’t want them to. I was beginning to look forward to them. They were getting under my skin, and I wanted him to say something. Anything. Tell me why he was doing this.

  But more than all that, I wished it was Gannon. And that was where my problem lay.

  Major

  I wasn’t doing that again. She had yelled at me and been furious yesterday. Waiting for Cope’s instructions was pointless. I was going after him to tell him how this wasn’t working and I needed to do things my way. Not his dumb-ass way. I probably wouldn’t call him a dumb-ass, though. I wanted to live. I liked life.

  The old motel he used for surveillance was rough, but he liked it. He thought he drew less attention at places like this. He also knew all about the man who owned it, his family, and how long he’d been running the place—all kinds of shit. The owner didn’t seem like a chatty guy, but he was curious about others around him and asked them questions about themselves. Surprisingly, they answered him.

  I knocked once, knowing he was well aware that it was me out here. He had cameras all over the place and had seen me the moment I drove up. Possibly sooner.

  The door opened, and he looked at me like he was bored with my presence already. “Sugar Shak with Nate in one hour. Give her the mint one,” he said, then closed the door in my face.

  Was he shitting me? I didn’t drive out here to get my next marching orders. He knew that, too. I knocked again and tried to curb my temper.

  He didn’t open the door back up.

  I knocked one more time.

  Nothing.

  Fucker.

  I hated this son of a bitch.

  Nan

  “Aunt Nan? Why is Major putting something on your car window?” Nate asked, as he stared out into the street where I’d parked my car and licked at his chocolate chip ice cream cone.

  I turned to see Major walking away from my car and back to his truck. There was a pale green envelope tucked under my windshield wiper. Interesting. He hadn’t come to hand it to me today.

  “Maybe he needed to leave me a note and didn’t want to bother us,” I suggested.

  “We could’ve shared our ice cream with him. Don’t he know that?” Nate replied sincerely.

  “Maybe the temptation to ruin his dinner was too much, so he decided to stay away from it.”

  Nate thought about that and nodded like it made sense. “Guess adults think about that. I just want the ice cream.”

  I smiled and licked my orange sorbet. “Honestly, Nate, I do, too.”

  Nate beamed at me, and the touch of ice cream on his upper lip was precious. “That’s why we’re buddies, you and me. We think like each other.”

  No, we didn’t. His thoughts were pure and big-hearted like his parents’. He loved with everything he had. He accepted the faults in others and didn’t hold grudges. “That’s the best compliment I can ever be given,” I told him.

  He scrunched his nose. “What’s a com-plee-uh-mint?”

  A laugh escaped me, and I felt warm inside.

  When I got back to the car after dropping Nate off at home, I took the envelope I’d tucked under my seat away from Nate’s curious hands and opened it.

  Attitude. Another thing that makes you beautiful.

  I reread it three times before tucking it into my purse and heading home.

  Pink, purple, cream, blue, and mint green. Five envelopes that had slowly gotten to my heart. I wasn’t saying I loved Major. I just loved his words. The thought behind each note. They were simple. Paper with words written on them. They had been free. No money spent yet more meaningful than any gift I had received, because they made me feel like maybe I was worth more. Maybe I was enough. Maybe I could be loved.

  Not once had a note said I was beautiful because of my outward appearance, except, of course, for the clothing comment. But still, it had been more about my choice in clothing, not what my face or body looked like.

  It was time I spoke to Major instead of screaming at him. This was what he should have started with, not those ridiculous roses. This took thought and emotion. If he’d done this the day I’d returned, we might be together now.

  An image of Gannon flashed in my head, and I winced from the pain in my chest. No . . . this wasn’t enough to make that pain go away. He hadn’t called or texted. He hadn’t reached out to explain. He had done nothing to stop me from running that day. Even knowing the truth about him, I wanted him to try to see me. I wanted him to fight for me. For Gannon, I wanted to be enough.

  Only a few short weeks ago, I’d wanted to be enough for Major, and how quickly that had changed. Too little too late, they said. Unless I could teach my heart to let go of what I couldn’t have and embrace what wanted me. If I could just try with Major, then the pain from the memory of Gannon and what could have been would disappear.

  I hoped.

  Major

  When my phone vibrated, I wanted to toss it across the room. If only I could slam it into Cope’s smug face. God, that man was driving me nuts. I wasn’t even awake yet, and he was sending orders.

  Jerking the phone toward my face, I rubbed my eyes and read the text.

  I’m ready to listen. It wasn’t Cope. It was Nan.

  Holy fuck! The mystery envelopes had worked! Hot damn!

  I tossed back the covers and jumped out of bed, then realized I should call Cope. Dialing his number, I stumbled toward the bathroom, still groggy from sleep.

  “She’s ready” was his greeting. How the fuck did he know that?

  “Yeah,” I replied, hating how he had taken the wind out of my sails.

  “Give her the yellow one today. Then treat her right.” The call ended with a click, and I stood there wondering why I’d even bothered to call the man. He knew everything. I hated the bastard.

  Nan

  I wanted to ask Major questions about how he had treated me before and what had made him decide he wanted me now. Was it the fact that I was unattainable and he liked a challenge? Now that the challenge was over, would this all end? Should I open my heart up to him again? Could I even do that? Was my heart changed too much now? Maybe we could really just be friends.

  I was ready to talk to him. I needed closure, if nothing else. My head and my heart were confused.

  The
doorbell rang, and I set my glass of orange juice down and went to open the door. Major stood there looking as beautiful as he always did. The face of a model, and he knew it. He worked it. Once that had been all I thought I needed. Now I realized I required much more.

  “Hey,” I said, stepping back. “Come in.” I noticed a yellow envelope in his hand, and my chest squeezed. Even if I didn’t want Major, I wanted those words. I needed them.

  “I’m glad you texted,” he said, looking at me sincerely. His heart was in his eyes, and he looked like he meant it.

  Nothing stirred in me but a sadness that my feelings for him might have changed so much. That he might have killed anything there, and I wouldn’t be able to get it back. Even now, when I wanted to, I couldn’t even force myself to believe it. “The notes. I want to understand their purpose. But first, are you thirsty? Can I get you a drink?”

  He looked nervous and uncomfortable now. His eyes darted in the direction of the kitchen. “Yeah, uh, I’d love some water.”

  He was stalling. Interesting.

  I led the way and took my time fixing him a tall glass of ice water, and then I looked pointedly at the yellow envelope in his hand. “You brought another one with you today.”

  He looked down at it as if he had forgotten it was there. He nodded slowly before lifting his gaze back to me. “Open it,” he said, handing it to me.

  I took the envelope, anxious to read the words he’d written this time. What else about me did he find beautiful? Those small notes meant so much that even though I didn’t love him, I cared for him simply because he took the time to think about them and write them down.

  Slipping out the piece of stationery that I now knew like the texture of my own skin, I read:

  Graceful, equine movements. Another thing that makes you beautiful.

  I had to read that one several times before I understood what he was saying. I never knew Major to use such eloquent wording to describe anything. It was almost as if these weren’t his own words. Like he’d taken them from someone else.

  Major

  I really needed to see what she was reading. Needed some freaking clue to what the notes said. Apparently, they’d been powerful, because she’d contacted me after saying she never wanted to see me again. Cope had thought of everything but this? Why hadn’t he briefed me on the notes he’d written for me to give her? From where I was sitting, I could see it was a simple handwritten message. But that was it.

  She read over it several times, then lifted her eyes to meet mine. “Did you write this?”

  Fuck. Why was she asking me that? I hated Cope. He hadn’t thought of this scenario. Dammit. “Every single one.” I lied and held her steady gaze. I wouldn’t look away; I had to own this. The notes had gotten me this far. It was time I did the rest. “I miss you, Nan. Everything about you.”

  Her eyes softened, and the questions that clouded them seemed to lift some. She shook her head and let out a soft laugh. “You don’t make sense. Not at all.”

  “I made a mistake. Hell, I made a million mistakes with you, but I want a chance to fix them.”

  She set the note down, and it was all I could do not to pick it up and read it. “Why was it so easy to hurt me before?” she asked.

  This I could answer honestly. “Because I didn’t realize I was hurting you until it was too late. I thought we were casual. I was afraid to be more than casual with you because of, well, you. Who you are, what you look like, what I’ve heard about you. I didn’t think I could make you happy. So I handled it all wrong. I want another chance. Please.”

  She sighed, and her head tilted slightly to the right as she studied me. I knew her having me here was a good thing, but I wasn’t done winning her back. I could see that clearly. I had to move fast.

  “Go out with me tonight. Let me show you how good we can be.”

  Nan’s tongue came out and licked her bottom lip as she thought through this. She had really nice lips. The kind most women pay to have. “OK.”

  OK. She was saying OK to a date. This was it. I had her back. I’d figure all this out. First, I needed to decide on the magical date that would win her over completely. I wasn’t asking Cope, either. His ass would see that I knew how to land a woman. With or without his damn notes. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  Nan gave me a smile and nodded her head. “I’ll see you then.”

  The moment I pulled out of her driveway, my phone vibrated. I gritted my teeth, knowing it was Cope. Ignoring him was pointless and possibly life-threatening. So I picked up my phone.

  She’ll need more than the average. Take her to the club. Everything will be set up for you there.

  I didn’t need his help, and the club wasn’t more than average for her. Bad idea, Cope. I replied, The club is her norm. It’s not special. Why would I take her there?

  I waited for a response for at least five minutes, which pissed me off. I was pulling into my parking lot when the phone finally buzzed in my lap. Just do what I say.

  Dickhead.

  Nan

  The club? Was he serious? This was where he wanted us to have our first date now that we were trying again? The guy who wrote me those notes was not the same man who was taking me to the club on a date.

  I tried not to roll my eyes, but I was positive I did when he pulled his truck up to the valet stand at the club. The attendant opened my car door, and I picked up my clutch before stepping out of the truck. Maybe I should have expected this. Major was a country boy. He’d been raised in Texas, for God’s sake. He probably thought the club was a nice date.

  “Good evening, Mr. Colt. We have the Bentley waiting for you right over here.”

  Bentley? He had the Bentley reserved?

  “Oh, yeah, thanks,” Major said, sounding almost as surprised as I was by this information. But when he turned to look at me, he was smiling like he’d had the best idea in the world. He held out his arm for me to take, and we walked over to the Bentley. Apparently, we weren’t staying at the club. We just needed one of its Bentleys for our evening.

  After we were both in the backseat, I’d turned to Major to ask exactly where we were going when the driver spoke up. “We will be at your destination in five minutes, sir.”

  Major nodded and said, “Thank you.” Then he turned back to me, a pleased smile still on his face. “You didn’t really think I’d take you to the club for dinner, did you?” There was a teasing in his tone that caused me to smile. I enjoyed Major when he was like this. Playful and entertaining.

  “I guess I did. But I’m so glad that wasn’t our final destination.”

  Major smirked and leaned back in his seat, looking smug. An image of Gannon flashed into my head. He never looked smug. He looked sure of who he was. He didn’t need praise. You either accepted him or you didn’t. My chest tightened, and I pushed that thought away. I wouldn’t let myself dwell on that brief affair. Because that was all it had been. He had known how to make me want him, and he’d played his cards well. I was almost sure I’d fallen in love with him or maybe with the idea of who I thought he was. The intelligent danger that he possessed fascinated me. I doubted I’d ever experience that again.

  I glanced out the window, determined to change my thoughts, and I recognized exactly where we were. I hadn’t been here in years. Not since Blaire had walked into Rush’s life. I’d stopped coming here then.

  “How did you know about this place?” I asked, as the car came to a stop.

  Major looked a little startled by my question. Why was he acting so weird tonight? This was his idea of a date. If he’d gone through all this to figure out my special place as a child and most of my life, then he had dug deep. Only Rush could have told him about the garden. My garden.

  It was a secret place I’d found as a child one day when I’d attempted to run away from life. I’d never gotten far, because I’d known it would likely be days before my mother would realize I was gone, and I could very well be abducted or starve by then.

  The
garden hadn’t looked like it belonged in the coastal town of Rosemary Beach. It had been very English, and in my imagination, it had been plucked from one of my favorite fairy tales and placed here just for me to escape to, where there had been no country club, tennis lessons, cocktail parties, or endless line of men parading through my house to see my mother. Here it had been just me. My pretend place where I’d been a beloved princess and my parents adored me.

  Rush had found me here when he’d returned from a weekend at his father’s. I’d been missing all day, and my mother hadn’t noticed. Rush had gone down the street calling my name in a panic, and when I’d heard him, everything had been right again. Someone had cared about me. Someone had wanted me safe. Rush had been my hero then, and he still was to this day.

  From that moment on, this garden had been my escape, especially on the weekends when Rush had gone to stay with his dad. He’d always come and find me here, and we’d pretend together. He’d gone along with my silly princess fantasy to appease me. He’d always tried to appease me.

  “I asked around,” Major finally said now, as if he wasn’t sure that was the correct answer.

  He had asked Rush. My brother had probably told him not to tell me he’d given away my special place. Although surely he knew that I would guess it had been him.

  Smiling, I opened my car door before the driver could do it for me and climbed out. Coming here felt like coming home. I’d missed it and hadn’t even realized how much. The idea of Rush not coming to join me had been too much, so I’d stayed away.

  “Thank you,” I said, glancing back over my shoulder at Major. “This is perfect.” I led the way into the secret haven, and my heart lifted with each step.

  “You’re welcome,” Major replied, but I didn’t look back again.