She wanted to push the apology, and the events leading up to it, aside. Act like it was no big deal he’d sought her out. But the rhythm of her pulse tearing through her veins wouldn’t let her ignore how happy she was to see him. “I’m glad you changed your mind.” There, that sounded casual, right? If so, it defied every giddy bubble flitting through her.
He gifted her with one of those rare, genuine smiles she hadn’t seen him use anywhere else. “Me too.”
Silence sank between them, filled with the clatter of bells and chimes in the background. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. If she stayed here, she was going to do things she shouldn’t. Flirt, be impulsive, hope for another sleepless night. She didn’t know what bothered her more—that he might think less of her for being so flighty, or that she cared. Maybe she should see the town another night.
He locked his gaze on her, eyes searching hers. “I was wondering something, but I don’t know how you’ll take it, and I don’t want to spoil the mood.”
Not what she expected. Was it about the sex? Oh jeez, they weren’t going to have an “it didn’t mean anything” conversation, were they? The subtle lead-in didn’t really seem to be his thing. “I pretty much expect the conversation to go south when you start things off like that.”
“No reason to hold back then. Why did you sign with NSS?”
She felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs. Her eyes grew wide and she looked away. Her gaze flitted around the casino before finally landing on him again, but she didn’t look him in the eye. She should be over this. However, the reminders from Hayden in the last twenty-four hours had her paranoid. Jared already knew she’d taken the NSS offer because of Vivian’s reaction to her hack. Was he just trying to trip her up? “I was under the impression Vivian’s offer wasn’t on the table anymore.”
He frowned, but seconds later the expression melted into neutrality. “Why would you—” He shook his head. “What would we have had to do differently to secure your talent?”
She twisted the edge of her shirt around her fingers. This was too much like the conversation with Vivian. Her racing pulse and thoughts had shifted away from how close he stood.
Hayden had told them what she did—everything she knew—six months ago. Hadn’t he? She couldn’t fathom why he’d keep something so important from them, competition or not. But Hayden seemed far more fixated on the entire thing than either Jared or Vivian. Maybe they’d gotten past their anger? None of it made any sense. What was she supposed to say? She struggled for an answer that wouldn’t turn into a rambling, incoherent ball of thoughts that didn’t quite make sense to her.
His brow furrowed. The seconds dragged on between them, his attention never leaving her. Finally he said, “As long as you’re happy there.”
Of course she was. Wasn’t she? For the second time in the last twenty-four hours, she questioned her own certainty. And it honestly had nothing to do with Jared. Though, she was going to be daydreaming for a long time about the different ways he made her moan. “I guess.”
He shook his head, the creases around his eyes and on his forehead taking a moment to fade. He nodded at the pit behind her. “Were you going to play?”
This was neutral. This she could do. “I’ve never played at tables. I’ve played Texas hold ‘em online. I’ve played at parties.”
“So I’ll show you.” He reached for her, then dropped his hand at the last moment.
Disappointment tickled her senses. She kept her voice low, embarrassed at what she was about to admit. “Not poker.”
“You just said you knew how to play.”
She stepped closer, watching the floor instead of him, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “But I always lose. I’m really bad at reading people.” Like Hayden? She didn’t obliterate the thought but tucked it aside to let her secondary processors deal with it. “I always bluff at the wrong time.”
“So no cards? You’re just observing?”
She still wanted to play. And maybe if Jared was here, he could teach her a couple of things. Besides, if she didn’t ask, she’d never do it. “I didn’t say that. I was thinking blackjack. But...I don’t know what I’m supposed to do at the tables.”
“You have to pick one first.”
She already knew the one she wanted. The signs said it was a five-dollar table, and the dealer was only using a single deck, which meant she could count cards. She crossed the short distance, relieved when he followed her. She hesitated a few feet back, her voice a whisper. “What now?”
He nudged her forward, breaking contact again quickly after. “You take an empty seat, you buy into the game, and you’ll be dealt in.” He nodded at the dealer. “She’s a little new.”
The woman behind the table gave her a warm smile and explained the basics.
Mikki dropped her hand by her side, a pleasant rush greeting her when she brushed Jared’s fingers. It spread through her when he gave her a gentle squeeze before letting go.
She’d picked blackjack, and this table, because she’d be playing against the dealer, not the other players. There was no bluffing; it was all about the odds. And she knew how to read the odds.
Her confidence grew as the clock ticked away, and she won more hands than she lost. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. Warmth flowed through her from the spot along her spine where Jared’s arm rested, occasionally making contact.
She pulled in more chips and was about to buy into the next game when his hand rested on the small of her back. “Cash out.” His low voice sent tingles running through her, but the abrupt words filled her with a doubt she couldn’t place. He almost sounded irritated, or upset. God, now what had she done?
Chapter Eleven
Mikki couldn’t help her frown that he wanted her to end the game, but waved off the dealer and gathered her chips. She slipped from the chair. At least Jared’s hand never fell away; that was pleasant.
“What was that about?” She wanted to know as they made their way to the cashier.
He nodded back toward the table she’d been playing at. “The two gentlemen as wide as you are tall, standing at the edge of the pit?”
Right, she’d seen them step up fifteen or twenty minutes ago. They looked like they were enjoying the game. “What about them?”
He waited for her to get her cash and tuck it away in her wallet. Hand still on her back, he steered her away from the casino floor. His voice was so low she had to strain to hear it. “You count cards.”
He noticed. She smirked. “I didn’t think I could, but turns out it’s easy.”
He sighed and nodded at the burly guys again. “They won’t usually throw you out, but they’ll ask you not to play at the blackjack tables anymore.”
He sounded irritated, or annoyed. She bristled in response. “I just wanted to see if I could do it. I wasn’t trying to break the house or anything.”
He relaxed. “It’s not technically against the rules, but they don’t like it. I didn’t want it to ruin your night.”
She flushed at the consideration. “That might have spoiled my mood a little bit. Two big burly guys telling me I had to stop. You deliver the message a lot better.”
“We’re here; we can still do other things.” A hint of levity returned to his voice.
Like walk around being adult and responsible, and not taking risks, and not pissing off management, and not being alone together. It all sounded like less fun than the boredom centers of her brain could handle. “I didn’t really have anything else in mind.”
He tugged her fingers. “Isn’t that status quo for you?”
The light teasing flitted through her veins. “As long as I’m not keeping you from anything...”
He nudged her further into the casino. “I’m here because I want to be, not because anyone made me. This is your show, you pick.”
Go back to her hotel. That was what she needed to pick. Screw responsible decisions. She wasn’t ready to walk away from Jared, even if he was just t
rying to keep her out of trouble. But at the same time, she didn’t have any idea what else to do.
It was true the city looked like it never slept...sort of. She could still go gamble her heart out if she wanted, but none of the attractions were open this late. While it was interesting to wander around looking at the closed shops and all the overpriced trinkets she was sure were ninety-nine percent for show, the hands-off experience wasn’t quite the same.
A familiar flash of lights surrounding a glass box caught her attention. Her cheeks warmed at the unintentional squeal that escaped her throat. She grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the claw machine. “I love these things.”
She glanced up at him, surprised by the expression staring back. His brows were arched and his lips drawn in a thin line.
“What?” she asked.
He shrugged, and his face relaxed. “Nothing. It’s just...you know these things are a waste of money, right? The five or ten bucks you spend to win one toy would pay for everything in there?”
Wow, he was really no fun sometimes. She got his concern about the bouncers—or whatever they were—and the blackjack table, but this was different. She twisted her lips in mock irritation. “First of all, that’s not the point. Second, you’re just jealous because you don’t know how to do it right.”
“Really?” The corner of his mouth twitched with unformed amusement. “Tell me what I’m missing, then.”
She scanned the interior of the machine while she talked, looking for a viable target. “It’s not about winning, it’s about the challenge.”
“Still not getting it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.
“Then you don’t have to play.” She plucked her wallet from her purse and rifled through the bills and coins. Disappointment that she didn’t have the right change settled inside. She tucked it all away again. She shouldn’t be wasting his time with childish games anyway. The thought jarred her. Why was she letting him dictate her schedule? “Never mind.”
He wrapped a loose hand around her arm before she could turn away. Even through her shirt, the contact sent a scorching jolt of want through her. “I’m not trying to talk you out of it.”
She shrugged. “No quarters or ones.”
He produced a leather tri-fold from his back pocket, extracted a one-dollar bill, and slid it the machine. “Two attempts.”
She should probably be more contained, but she couldn’t help her giddy rush. She kissed him on the cheek, lingering long enough to memorize the scruff of his five o’clock shadow on her lips, and then turned back to the claw machine. “Watch and learn.”
She’d located a white bear on top of the stack, as close to the middle as anything and not buried under any of the other toys. The mantra repeated in her head as she drove the claw, stick up, nudge nudge, stick right, nudge nudge, click the button... The mechanical arm dropped, clasped around the bear’s head, and lifted. Her elation was short lived when the stuffed toy slipped away and plummeted back to the mountain below.
“One more try.” Jared’s arm, shoulder to wrist, rested against her back, his warm breath caressing her neck. Her body swayed, temped to lean into him. The lingering musk of his cologne drilled into her thoughts. “Make it good.”
Ten seconds later—according to the timer on the machine—the bear dropped into the slot.
“Sometimes though, winning makes the trying that much sweeter.” She bent at the waist to retrieve it and handed it to Jared. “For you.”
He held the furry toy up by the ear, examining it from every angle with a critical eye. “I don’t think I need it.”
She looped her hand into his arm. What am I doing? He hadn’t pulled away, so he didn’t mind, did he? But it just feels right. Instead of continuing to second-guess her actions, she went with it and led him back into the thinning crowds. “It’s a gift. It doesn’t have to be practical.”
He untangled himself from her grip and seconds later rested his hand on her hip, holding her close as they walked. He continued to examine the toy in his other hand. “But what is it?”
“It’s a teddy bear.”
“What kind of teddy bear wears a beret, a black leather apron, and nothing else?”
“A BDSM bear.” She flushed as soon as the words passed her lips. I wouldn’t mind him tying me up for a while.
He paused in the middle of the walkway and spun her to face him. The sparse foot traffic cut a path around them He stood toe to toe with her, blue eyes searching her face. “A bondage bear, really?”
“What? An apron, nothing on underneath, that’s sexy.” Her skin heated, and she couldn’t pull her gaze from his. He was still studying her. “What?”
“You know what’s sexy?” He smiled, dipped his head, and traced his lips along the edge of her ear.
That was an intoxicating sensation. Too many things were easy with him. A pleasant chill raced through her, and she slid along his frame him with a, “Hmm?”
He dropped his empty hand to her hip. “Watching you lose yourself in whatever you’re doing, seeing how genuine your joy is, and...” He trailed a finger down to her ass. “Knowing you’re not wearing anything under your skirt.”
Her breath hitched, and any witty response she might have had died in the back of her throat. Fun to intense in a millisecond. She couldn’t code for response times that fast. Not that she was complaining. “I think you’re trying to change the subject.”
He stepped back, intertwined his fingers in hers again, and tugged her into step beside him, a serious note sliding into his voice. “You’re right, I’m sorry. We’re talking about the bear, aren’t we? Is she into spanking, or does she prefer being tied up?”
He was one of the only people she’d ever met who didn’t seem to recoil at how blunt she was, and was just as outspoken on top of that. Something about that was so damn appealing. “First of all, who said it was a she? And second, it’s hard to tell by just looking. I have a feeling he’s open to exploration. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
He half glanced in her direction, brows raised, before turning away again. “You’re still talking about the bear, right?”
“Of course I am.” Was she? She hadn’t meant to imply anything with her statement, but now the idea was there—the implication this might be about the two of them—it made her curious whether or not her unwitting observation was correct. She drifted closer as they wandered, resting some of her weight against his arm. Heat flowed between them and taunted her with promises of something she knew wasn’t hers.
As they wandered farther from the casino, the chatter and bells faded into the background. The half-lit, mall-like environment closed in around them. If she stretched her imagination just a few inches, it was easy to believe there was no world outside this place of fake pillars and painted-on skies.
“Have you rescued a lot of these poor, unexplored souls from claw machines?” His voice dropped in volume, adding to the surreal feeling of pleasant isolation.
The only issue she saw with their journey was eventually they’d run out of walkway. A soft glow broke the dim lighting ahead. Espresso. Perfect. She leaned into him enough to change their trajectory and memorized the sensation of her head on his shoulder. “Not as many as you might think. The odds on those things can be fixed. The claws made to not consistently grab as tightly. Typically only about in ten quarters wins, regardless of how good someone is.”
“Now we really are talking about the bear. If you know the odds, why do you still play? You were pretty diligent about securing your odds at the blackjack table.”
She scanned the menu on the small cart and reached for her wallet. For someone so bright, he sure had a hard time with some concepts. “Because with the blackjack I wanted to see if I could do it, not because of the need to win. Once again, it’s not about the outcome, it’s about how you get there.”
“Journey versus destination. Right.” He rested a hand on her arm. “Which is why you’re drinking, what, caramel mocha w
ith extra whipped cream at almost midnight?”
“Americano, skim milk. It’s way too late for that much sugar.” She knew it sounded ridiculous. She’d been told so on several occasions and didn’t care. The caffeine didn’t keep her awake, and she enjoyed the flavor.
“Of course. Let me get this.” He stepped up to the cashier before she could protest.
A moment later, he returned with a paper cup, steam escaping from the top, and a bottle of water. He handed her the coffee, rested his hand on her back, and guided her to a table half in the shadows.
He held her chair out for her. She’d never had someone do that before. It heated her inside almost as much as the brush of his fingers along the back of her hand as he took the seat next to her.
She held up the drink. “Thank you for this.”
He gave her a look she couldn’t interpret, brows furrowed and a question in his eyes, before his expression shifted to something more neutral. “It’s not quite as grand a gesture as rescuing me from singing a duet alone, but it’s a start.”
The reminder tickled her amusement and brought back a flood of warmth from the shared time on stage. “Another thing I’m glad I did. I got at least as much out of the evening as you. You don’t actually owe me anything.”
“I do.” He leaned forward, water ignored, and focused on her. “It’s a nice philosophy, but as life goes on, you’ll find it gets harder to ignore the final outcome in favor of living in the now.”
Some of her euphoria squished out around the implication she was too young to know better. Payton had drilled that point home over and over again—that she didn’t have enough life experience to have an opinion on anything if she disagreed with him. “I’m not naïve just because I’m not as old as you. Some of us learned early on not to let life break us.”
His Hacker (Love Games, #5) Page 9
