Xander

by Dana Archer

  Chapter 16

  Either Xander had lied about giving her a piece of his soul or there was something wrong with the bond they’d formed, because she hadn’t felt anything from Xander while he’d been gone. The only thing Gwen had suffered was anger over Vlad’s revelation about his so-called connection to her.

  He must think her incredibly naïve to believe him. That was the only explanation she could come up with. The alternative left her too depressed to consider. When given the choice, he’d opted for any other woman who’d spread her legs for him over his true mate. The fact that one of those other women happened to be Gwen’s sister made the resentment worse. That lame excuse he’d made about her being too young didn’t come close to absolving him of those sins.

  As soon as the bedroom door closed behind them, blocking Vlad out, she turned her attention to Xander. He’d shaved, and his shoulder-length black hair hung loose, softening his harsh cheekbones and straight nose. Those dark eyes that had ensnared her at first glance burned with hunger, need, and possession.

  Like this, he didn’t come close to resembling the intense, focused alpha who’d slaughtered his enemies in order to rescue her. Here, he was simply a man. Hers. This strong, honorable man had picked her, not another woman. Not her sister. If that memory she’d shared with him told the truth, this wasn’t the first time he’d chosen her either.

  What could possibly have gone wrong? Xander had loved her in that recollection. She’d shared in it. Something horrible must’ve happened to end things.

  “The memory of our wedding night cut off abruptly. That was your doing, right? You pushed me out. Why?”

  “That wasn’t our wedding night.”

  “I don’t understand. Wasn’t that redheaded woman me?”

  “That was the woman who once held your soul. She died, though, and you were reborn, multiple times. In each lifetime, your soul was influenced by your experiences. So, yes, Elizabeth was you, but you are not Elizabeth. Nor are you Tabitha or any of the other incarnations you’d been in those years when we hadn’t reconnected. You are Gwen, unique to this lifetime, and our relationship can’t be based off what we shared in the past. I too have changed. I just happen to retain all those memories.”

  The defensive tone set her on edge. “Then how can you be sure I’m your true mate? Me, Gwen Burnett. Maybe I changed so much that we aren’t compatible anymore.”

  Xander sighed, a weary sound, and dropped his chin to his chest. “I know it. There is no mistaking this connection.”

  If that was true, then why hadn’t Vlad recognized theirs? Sure, he’d been drunk that night. But the excuse didn’t explain why years had gone by. Years where he’d lusted after Lena.

  Ugh, Vlad irritated her. She couldn’t make sense of his actions. She’d never been able to do so. She shoved thoughts of him out and focused on Xander…her mate. Or partial mate. Or whatever he was to her. “Then why didn’t you complete our mating when you had the chance? I can die like this, right? That’s the point Dante was trying to make back in the cabin. I’m a weak, fragile, and mortal human.”

  Xander cracked his jaw, then strode for the bathroom with her still cradled in his embrace. Steam and the rich scent of man surrounded her the moment they stepped into the small room. He closed the door, sealing them inside, then set her bottom on the counter and stepped into the space between her legs.

  She held her hand out, stopping him from getting closer. “I want to take a shower by myself.”

  “Not happening.” With a smooth sweep of his hands, he drew her shirt over her head and tossed it carelessly aside. “I won’t risk you falling and hurting yourself.”

  She covered her exposed chest with her arm. “You lied to me?”

  “I saved you from being reprimanded by me in front of Vlad and Dante.”

  “Reprimanded?” She sat straighter, dropping her arm as fire built in her veins, replacing the shyness that made her want to curl into a ball. With her gaze locked on to Xander, she studied his expression, looking for some clue as to why he’d yell at her. “Why would you reprimand me?”

  His features hardened. He pressed his hands to the counter on either side of her hips. “Because I can. Mating law gives me the right to make every decision for you, and nothing you or your government says can stop me.” He leaned closer, dominating her space and forcing her to arch into him. “I can choose your meals, what you wear, who is allowed to talk to you. Actually, I don’t even have to allow you out in public. I can keep you naked and locked in my bedroom if I so choose.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Fear and indignation mixed, leaving her shaking. “You would do that to me? Take all my choices away?”

  He shoved away from her. Disgust twisted his features. “What do you think?”

  She’d offended him. Too bad. She needed answers. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. I don’t know you. Not really.”

  His unblinking gaze scrutinized her. She got the impression he was judging the validity of her words. “You hold a piece of my soul. You know exactly how I feel. That’s the beauty of the mate bond. My emotions and hungers can guide your actions so you can comfort me or pleasure me, any time I need you.”

  Her earlier thought came back to her. There was something wrong with the bond they’d formed. Or maybe it was her. “I’m human. And young. I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I also don’t understand men. I’m inexperienced, remember?”

  “I remember.” He skimmed his fingertips down her cheek to her chin and lifted her head slightly. “No, I won’t take your choices away. I want a partner, not a slave. But I can make your decisions. That is the point I’m making. It’s my right, and if you question my choices in public, other shifters would expect me to call you on it. Being alpha forces me to meet those expectations or lose respect. I didn’t want to put either of us in that position.”

  “Why would any law allow such things?”

  He covered her upper chest, right over her heart. “You own a piece of my soul, that’s why. If you die, I won’t be able to give your reincarnation another piece. I can only form a mate bond once.”

  His words tore a gasp from her as the seriousness of their situation registered. He was immortal. She was not. He hadn’t taken a piece of her soul, binding her to him for all time and making her immortal. That was the point of Dante’s scene back in the cabin. “This is our last chance.”

  “Yes. In more ways than one.”

  “Then why didn’t you finish our bond by soul-bonding with me?”

  “I’d thought to give you the chance to willingly offer me a piece of your soul. It only seems fair, don’t you think? You should have the final say as to whether or not we spend our eternity together.”

  “You aren’t going to walk away from me.” She’d sensed that from the moment they’d met.

  “No. I’m going to earn your love. However long that takes. Whatever I have to do. No matter how unconventional our mating ends up being.” Determination burned in his eyes. He curled his fingers around the waistband of her sweats. “Starting now.”

  The silent question showed in his expression—would she deny him? Her first instinct was to push him away. Vlad wasn’t here. If he was her true mate too, then…

  She shut down that thought. If Vlad belonged to her too, he wouldn’t have slept with her sister for months and talked about wanting to mate her for years afterward.

  Her anger surged, feeding the resentment. With Lena mated to another man, Vlad had no choice but to move on. Or settle. Oh yes. That was what he was doing. No man in his right mind would turn his back on his true mate.

  “Well, my mate, shall we explore this connection we share? Or wait? Your call.”

  All those times she’d seen Vlad with other women flashed across her mind. Shame choked her, making her throat burn. She hadn’t even been good enough to use as a one-night stand.

  Xander wanted her, though. She lifted her bottom, giving her silent answer.

  He grinned and pu
lled her pants off, stepping back only long enough to draw the sweats off her legs. With a slow caress, he dragged his knuckles up her legs, from her ankles to her inner thighs.

  Tingles spread in the wake of his caress. His gaze never left her face. She couldn’t look away either. The possessiveness in his focused stare spread warmth through her. Anticipation built. Would he touch her? Lick her? She couldn’t wait to find out his plans for her.

  With his fingers inches from her groin, he paused in his upward sweep. “We need to get something clear. Going forward, I want no misunderstandings. I won’t hear you say I didn’t warn you or give you an out. I’m doing it now. You will remember my words and use them if need be.”

  She licked her lips. His warning both scared and excited her in ways she didn’t quite understand. “Will I need an out?”

  He pressed his palms to her upper thighs, holding her in place. “Other females have.”

  That didn’t soothe her. Not one little bit. “I don’t understand what you’re telling me. Should I be scared of you?”

  “I will never hurt you, my mate, but I have changed in the years since our souls last touched.”

  “Changed how?”

  He wrapped his long fingers around her throat. His hold didn’t hurt, but a sense of vulnerability settled over her, speeding her pulse, but she didn’t dare move.

  His wicked brown eyes held her entranced. She’d experience heaven in his arms. No doubt about it. The predatory glint in his eyes warned she might walk through hell to reach it, though. That should send her running. If she were sane, it would anyway. Eagerness left her trembling, though.

  He inhaled deeply. A satisfied smile spread over his face. The sight of it heightened the dangerous aura unfolding around him and built her anticipation.

  Still holding her steady with his hand wrapped around her throat, he bent close and kissed her, slipping his tongue past her lips and dominating her mouth. She sighed and closed her eyes, letting Xander lead her.

  The deep, rolling strokes of his tongue relaxed her body even while warming her lower belly. The combination felt right. She wanted to lie back and welcome Xander’s possession.

  He unwrapped his fingers from around her throat and dragged his hand down the front of her body. His palm skimming over her chest sent a shiver through her, and the brush of his knuckles over her stomach skipped tingles through her. The sensations amplified everything, making her crazed. Every inch of her sensitized body screamed for his attention. She wanted him to explore her and leave his mark on her.

  His kiss didn’t allow her a chance to voice her wants, though. She grabbed his wrist and urged his hand lower. On a growl, he broke their kiss and shook off her hold. He grasped her wrist. With a firm tug, he drew her arm behind her.

  Holding her in place, he moved his free hand between her thighs. She tensed, even though Xander touching her was what she wanted. Not being able to move intensified the vulnerability. It wasn’t fear. This was her mate. He’d loved her in a previous life and married her. He’d also given her a piece of his soul.

  But…but apprehension left her trembling. Xander was stronger than her. More experienced. He could take her to the edge of ecstasy and leave her there, pleading to come. There’d be nothing she could do to stop it, except beg him to give her release.

  With his gaze locked on hers, he touched her, arousing her slowly. Her breath rushed out. She squirmed, needing something more, but he withdrew his hand, leaving her wanting.

  One corner of his mouth lifted on an amused smirk. “Did I shock you?”

  “No. I…” The lie left a sour taste in her mouth. She couldn’t follow through with it. He had caught her off guard. “Yes. I hadn’t expected you to…to touch…” Ugh, she couldn’t even say it.

  “I understand, my mate. You’ll need to get used to my touch, though. I’m insatiable. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

  Her cheeks warmed. She glanced away. Uncertainty killed the lust, leaving her unsure of herself. Would she ruin this with her inexperience? She didn’t want that. “Okay.”

  Xander turned her head toward him and kissed her, gentler this time until she sighed and relaxed into him. All the while, he aroused her body. And when he dropped to his knees she drew in a rough breath and closed her eyes to focus on what he was doing to her.

  No other man had made her burn this way. Except Vlad. Or she should say, fantasies of him had enflamed her.

  The man she’d desired for years had never touched her romantically. He’d dismissed her as too young, too shy, too innocent. She probably had been when they’d first met. She’d been a senior in high school. Her studies had been more important than boys or sex.

  Oh yes. Had Vlad touched her this way then, she likely would’ve freaked out and run from him. Vlad had probably known that. Maybe by walking away from her, he’d meant to give her a chance to experience life before he introduced her to this. If so, his reasoning was way off. She would’ve rather been eased into lust than sheltered or avoided as if her virginity turned her into a fragile doll.

  She should’ve asked him more questions instead of focusing on her resentment. She’d acted like a stubborn brat, too wrapped up in her hurt to see where Vlad had been coming from.

  If anything, her time spent in the fighters’ compound had taught her that shifters’ instincts and drives were much different from a human’s. Darn it. Why hadn’t she talked to him?

  Xander nipped her thigh. She yelped and jerked her gaze to his. “Focus on me. Only. Not on what’s happening in the world around us. Not your friend you want to rescue. Not your anxiety over meeting my pack. When you’re in my arms, you turn your complete attention to me. That is rule number one. Do you understand it?”

  As long as she kept thoughts of a certain brown-haired, hazel-eyed man out of her head, it’d be easy to follow Xander’s order. At the moment, she wasn’t sure if that was possible. His unwavering stare demanded her compliance, though. “Yes, I understand.”

  Xander smiled, his brown eyes heating with desire. “Good girl, Gwen.”

  The praise warmed her.

  “Now repeat your question.” He caressed her as he spoke, an almost lazy exploration of her body.

  She closed her eyes to focus on the drag of his finger along her inner thigh. If it felt this good with only his fingers stroking her skin, what would it feel like when he joined their bodies?

  “Gwen, your question.”

  What had she asked? She leaned back, resting her head against the mirror. Her eyelids drifted closed.

  They’d been talking about what she’d need to remember while in his arms. He was going to give her a trigger word or something. She’d read about those. Never had she thought she’d need one during sex. Xander wasn’t a simple lover, however. He was the alpha of the Winchester pack, and he’d changed since their souls had last crossed paths. Yes, that was what she’d asked.

  “How have you changed?”

  “I’m darker, and the drives riding me demand your submission. I’ll make you beg and plead for my touch. I’ll take you to the edge and leave you there until I’m satisfied you’ve given me everything. I’ll take you every way a male can be with a woman, over and over, until I’m spent.”

  She lifted her head and stared at him wide-eyed. She didn’t know what to say.

  “But I refuse to take things further than you are comfortable with.” He brushed his knuckles over her lower belly, skipping more awareness through her. “Above all things, I want your happiness. You will tell me to stop if you become overwhelmed. Anything else, I’ll ignore.”

  “I thought safe words were supposed to be something unique and memorable.”

  “This isn’t a bedroom game or some alternate lifestyle chosen by humans.”

  She swallowed hard. “Then what is it?”

  He leaned over her. His exhale warmed her shoulder, inches from his bite mark. “What I need to be satisfied. Simple as that.”

  “And if I can’t sati
sfy you?”

  “You will. I’ll teach you.” His voice lowered. “And I promise you will always experience pleasure too.”

  His lips brushed the bite mark he’d left on her. Energy whipped through her, stealing her breath. She clutched at him, digging her nails into his shoulders. “Will I?”

  “Yes. Starting now.”

  The first flick of his tongue over the bite tightened her body more. The next few licks increased the heaviness in her lower belly. The ache built the longer he touched her, hinting at the intimacy they’d soon share. She enjoyed every caress, every kiss, every brush of his lips to the bite mark on her shoulder, but a thump sounded from somewhere.

  Cool air washed over her thighs. She didn’t get the chance to process what either meant. On another growl, Xander sucked on her mate bite. She tipped her head back and moaned, wishing this feeling would last forever, but sooner than she would have liked, the pleasure eased, bringing her back to reality.

  She inhaled. Xander’s scent filled her lungs. Twined into his masculine scent was a hint of something earthy and rich. The smell was soothing and familiar. It reminded her of…

  She glanced over Xander’s shoulder and collided with Vlad’s gaze. Lust shown in his hazel eyes, brightening the green. She stiffened and clutched Xander’s body, using him as a shield. “Vlad!”

  “Excuse my interruption, but Xane is on the phone. He wants to know if you’re setting up a pack meeting immediately or if you want to wait until tomorrow.”

  “Thank you for taking the call. Put the phone on the bed on your way out. I’ll get to Xane in a minute.” Xander ran a hand over her back. “And ask Dante to come in here and help Gwen shower. Her legs are still a little unsteady, and I don’t think I can help her without giving in to lust again.”

  Vlad didn’t answer. He held her gaze another long moment. Anger slid into his eyes. Her insides twisted on a wave of guilt.

  He’d told her she was his true mate too.

  But… Dang it. He’d known her for five years and hadn’t shown any interest in her until today. All she’d been able to do was watch from the sidelines while he screwed every woman he could get his hands on. She should not feel bad for allowing Xander to pleasure her.