by Leanne Davis
Tracy glanced with concern after Ally’s retreating form. Ally slammed one of the bedroom doors shut behind her. “Is that true, Kylie? What Tristan said about Micah?”
“Maybe,” Kylie finally mumbled with just the barest glance her mom’s way. “Maybe I did want to react to him more than I first thought. I kind of did want to keep in contact with him.” In true Kylie form she mumbled it. She glanced up at Tristan, her mouth twisted. She couldn’t speak her thoughts or stand up for herself. She waffled and folded, and even when Tristan was speaking her thoughts and was close to what she felt, she was still having her boyfriend do her talking for her. Ally wasn’t wrong in that either.
“Why don’t you tell me what you think?” Tracy said finally.
“I don’t know how to tell you or Ally what I really think.”
Tracy glanced at Tristan. “But you can tell Tristan?”
She tucked her lower lip under her teeth and nodded, staring blindly at her plate. “Kylie?” her mom said more insistently.
She lifted her gaze up. “Yes, okay? For some reason I can be more honest with Tristan.”
Tracy’s eyes dimmed with disappointment and hurt. Kylie’s stomach twisted. This was why she never told them. She just made them all sad or mad. Ally was off in another room, now angry at Tristan because he’d had to speak on Kylie’s behalf, because once again she’d chickened out, and now her mom was berating herself about why Kylie couldn’t talk to her.
“You helped her do this? To see her father?”
Tristan cleared his throat and shifted his butt around as if uncomfortable. “I might have more like pushed her to do this. She often tells me about what you or Ally thought or said. It wasn’t what she thought or said. That’s all I was trying to find; what Kylie felt and wanted to say.”
Tracy reached out with her knuckle and lifted Kylie’s chin up so her gaze was facing Tracy’s. “That’s all I want from you when I try to get you to talk to me, or tell me what’s going on. I just want what you think or feel. Not what you think I want to hear. So tell me about it. How was it? How was your dad for you?”
A small, tremulous smile filled Kylie’s face. Her heart lifted in shock and surprise. “He—he seems like a loser. He doesn’t even look the same. He’s all old and gray and looks a decade older than you. He lives in a trailer park in a very small, dumpy travel trailer. He’s all alone. His second wife already left him. He works at some tavern and… it was kind of horrible. You wouldn’t have recognized him, Mom.” She bit her lip. Maybe she’d gone too far. Tracy shut her eyes for a moment and sucked in a breath.
“Yes, the Micah I knew… Well, it’s hard to imagine him this way.”
“He asked about you,” she said softly.
Tracy’s smile was soft and quick. “I’m sure he did. He didn’t ever wish me ill, honey. I’m sure there was some shock about Donny and me.” Tracy glanced quickly at Donny and they exchanged a quick, private and intense look before she tuned back into Kylie.
Kylie shook her head, holding her mom’s gaze. Then she glanced at Donny, whose gaze had shifted between them as he quietly took in the conversation. She always appreciated that about Donny. Sometimes he could just be quiet and let her mother and her hash out things. Especially considering the subject matter. “Yes. Best kind of revenge, isn’t it?”
“What?” Tracy asked, her expression puzzled.
“Living better than him.”
She smoothed Kylie’s hair back from her forehead in a tender, affectionate, and motherly gesture. “Yes, my little girl, it is the best revenge. But you? You don’t have to wish revenge on him.”
Kylie quickly dropped her eyes to her fingers. “I might, um, you know, see him again. Not like as my dad or anything. He’s just all sad… and all alone. I don’t think he even has any friends.”
“Kylie, there was love there between us, for over a decade. He is your father. You don’t need my permission or blessing to have any kind of relationship with him you need or want. In fact, I think it would do you a world of good. You need to understand what he did was him. Not you. It isn’t a reflection of how others will treat or react to you. And by the way, you have my blessing.”
Kylie let out a big body-slouching sigh and in a glum voice agreed, “I do seem to have unresolved daddy issues.”
Tracy let out a small laugh. “I think it’s only natural how things started and ended with him. He was there, and then was the greatest missing link and mystery of your life. Maybe you need to spend some time to understand why. Or find closure. Or maybe even find some kind of relationship with him now. You don’t need him as a little girl. There isn’t any reason as an adult you couldn’t have some kind of relationship.”
“I’m sorry about Ally. I know we were a united front and all… but…I think I need to do this.”
Tracy nodded. “It’s not your responsibility to make yourself feel a certain way about him. It’s your responsibility to be honest with me about it. I don’t care what you tell anyone else, but from now on you need to be honest with me. I’m your mother and I want the truth from you, Kylie. Whatever that truth is.”
She shrugged. “I can try. But I don’t react the way you think I should, Mom. I don’t think you understand the full extent of that.”
Tracy’s head tilted. “There is no right reaction to hurt or trauma or pain or one’s father abandoning them. I love you. I love you more than anything in my life. And I know you love me that much too. I know I handled things wrong, but all I can tell you is I’ve always done my best. It wasn’t enough to fill the hole Micah left. But I want to fill it now. You and me. Mother and daughter. I don’t want Tristan to be the only one you can talk to.” She glanced at Tristan with a small nod. “But I am glad you are talking to someone. Because I know how rare that is.”
“I can try, Mom. But you have to understand, I don’t always know how I feel or how to say it and I sometimes won’t say it for a long time after. But I will try.”
Her mom hugged her tightly and Kylie clung back just as hard.
She felt her mom lift her chin and rest it on her head, and she suspected her mom mouthed something, perhaps thanks to Tristan.
She turned her head to the side, still clinging to her mom, and smiled and mouthed thanks to Tristan too.
Ally, however? She didn’t come back out and Kylie left her mom’s with her sister furious, and with plans to see her dad.
Chapter Fifteen
TRISTAN WORKED A LOT. But she didn’t care much. Until halfway through studying for a test in her Social Stratification class, when he called her one afternoon.
“Is there a pile of papers on the bar?”
She glanced around the bar while she muttered, “Hey to you too, lover. And yes, there is.”
His sigh was deep and she regretted ribbing him. Even his sigh sounded weary and tired. “Hey, sorry. I can’t find something. My boss is riding my ass about it and I couldn’t remember if it was home or here. I guess I took it home.”
“Do you need it?”
“I’ll just have to do it tonight.”
“You’ll be late?”
“Eight-ish.” He then paused and when he spoke his tone was noticeably warmer. “See you then?”
“Yes.”
She curled her legs up but her reviewing wasn’t holding her interest. Getting up to stretch, she wandered over to his bar. The papers were in a file. She opened them briefly. The Tamasy Industries logo still startled her. What were the chances? Of all places, of all names… that Tristan worked there. But then again, it was a large employer in the area. Still, the name Tamasy made her stomach clench each time it was mentioned or she casually observed their logo. She picked up the file. No reason she couldn’t take it to him. She didn’t think he’d care if she showed up. The address was in their logo and she’d never even seen where he worked. Or where his family lived… or even met a single one of them… or a lot of things. He was pretty arms-length about his family and his life outside of their relationship
. She tried to respect that, considering her own family dramas. But he seemed far removed from his own family, cold and formal about them when he did mention them. So she didn’t see any reason to hurry along their association. But work? He spent all his time there. Shouldn’t she know something about that?
She tucked her feet into her black flats and threw a leather coat over her. She had to lift her ponytail out of being trapped under its weight. She quickly took the city bus and walked the few blocks until she was before the proper building. It was a dozen stories high. It looked neat out front, with flag poles and a little fountain spraying water up out of a contorted piece of metal and into a pond. She gathered the metal was fabricated by Tamasy Industries. She entered and found the proper suite number for the Tamasy Industries corporate offices. She steeled her back.
Tamasy again. She could face the name. Tommy didn’t even work. He was in college, there was no chance, zilch, he’d be there, now, today, on this miscellaneous day at three forty-five on a Tuesday in February. She gave herself the silent “Atta-girl” pep talk to turn and force herself to get on the elevator. This was about Tristan… not Tommy.
The elevator dinged and she was in the entryway of a large, airy, glass-dominated foyer. She glanced at the board in front of her and went to the left towards the suite number of Tamasy Industries. She entered the large reception room that was ceiling to floor windows towards the downtown. It was all natural light and welcoming. She breathed out. See? No spooky rapists or dark trolls waiting for her. She almost laughed at herself. Maybe it was good she was facing this place. This name. She needed to make peace with where he worked if she hoped for their relationship to continue to deepen and strengthen. He was employed here. It was very important to him and she didn’t want to put him in the position to choose just because she hated, cringed, resented hearing the name Tamasy.
The receptionist was a man and he motioned her forward as he spoke on the phone. When he was finished he glanced at her with a polite smile. She held up her file with the logo on it. “My boyfriend left this at home. I was delivering it to him.”
“Who’s your boyfriend?”
“Tristan—”
“Seriously! I had no idea he had a girlfriend! Never known him to… Sorry, I shouldn’t gossip like that. It’s just… Tristan!” The man gave her a conspiratorial smile and his voice rose three octaves every time he said Tristan.
She grinned back, taken in by the man’s charm. “It’s okay. I gather he works more than he ever dated.”
“That he does. So you are a surprise. Anyway, down this hallway, last door on the left. You won’t miss it. I’ll tell him you’re here.”
She nodded as he picked up the phone and she darted down the hallway, mentally shaking her head at herself over her nerves in coming here. See? No big deal. Tommy was nothing to this place. He—
There was Tristan. Relief flooded through her. The name Tamasy couldn’t hurt her if Tristan was right there before her. He’d jerked his office door open and now stood there staring at her, unsmiling, his jaw locked and almost glaring at her. She faltered. Shit. He looked… freaking mad. She had never made him mad before. Apparently, work was a girlfriend-free zone? Or… well, fuck. The secretary man was laughing about Tristan having a girlfriend. And it being her? Was Tristan embarrassed by her presence here? She’d actually believed all his positive cheerleading crap the last few months that he’d showered over her. He’d never once acted embarrassed by her. But then, had he ever rushed to include her in his life? His real life? Hell no.
Maybe she had misread everything between them.
He motioned her forward. She had stopped startled by his adamant glare and the way he’d jerked open his door. Spurred into action, she passed by him and he shut the door firmly.
She shuffled the folder in her hands. He had never acted like this with her before. She was unsure what to do with Tristan being cold and kind of off-putting to her. “I was done studying and I thought I’d bring you that folder you called about.” Her voice faded off, all wimpy and as insecure-sounding as she felt.
His shoulders visibly dropped. He took it from her and walked to his desk and deposited it.
She bit her lip and stared at the rigid set of his back. “Tristan? Is something wrong? Am I interrupting something? A meeting perhaps? I can see myself out. I won’t stay.”
He was quiet and still didn’t look her way. She took a step back. “I’m not exactly girlfriend of an upcoming business manager’s material, am I?”
His entire body seemed to sag as he leaned on his hands over his desk. Finally he turned towards her and the scowl was gone. “Don’t go. I was just surprised. I wasn’t sure who he meant. He was babbling there was a girl here and I was…”
“Embarrassed. I shouldn’t have told the guy out there you were my boyfriend.”
“I’m not embarrassed. Just ignore me. I was stressed out. Not about you being here, just in general.”
It didn’t totally ring true, but she wasn’t sure what she could accuse him of. She glanced around. His office wasn’t huge, but it was luxurious. It had dark-paneled walls and a window that let in lots of light. Potted plants were almost a fake-looking green in the corner. A unit of shelving displayed hardbound books and trinkets. His desk was neat and crowded. His computer screensaver blinked. He seemed to notice it and walked over and clicked the screen off so it was dark. Two chairs faced his desk.
“Impressive, Mr. Aderly.”
He glanced up. Something seemed to have startled him about her teasing words. “What is?”
“The office. You’re more than a cubicle worker here. I mean, wow. Look at this place.” She slowly spun in a circle.
“Yes, more than a cubicle. Thank you, Kylie, for the file.” His tone was quiet as his eyes tracked her as she lingered around the room, running her hands over the books and stopping before the window.
He sat on the edge of his desk and finally a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “You like it?”
“I do. Why have you not bragged about it to me?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t seem all that worthy of bragging of. Just my office.”
“Who’s your boss then?”
His mouth tightened and creases appeared at the corners of his mouth. But he kept his gaze direct on hers. She was unsettled by the scrutiny. “Ellis Tamasy.”
She faltered in surprise. “The… the namesake of the place?”
“The one and only. He’s been at it for forty years.”
“I didn’t realize you worked directly under him.”
“Why? Does that mean something to you?”
“No. No, just didn’t know you were so far up the corporate ladder.”
“Far enough,” he answered, his tone mild, but his scrutiny was anything but. She walked closer to him and stopped. He was slouched on his desk as if all was casual, but there was a strain around his mouth and eyes that didn’t match his body language. It was almost like he was trying to act relaxed and at ease. She had no idea what she was missing. Obviously, Tristan didn’t mix his personal and business life. She’d figured that out from the start by his lack of integrating her into any of it. But this was a little much.
“I’ll let you get back to work,” she finally said after an awkward silence. She was flustered by it. Even in the beginning when she was confused by his attention and what he wanted from her and was totally intimidated with him, she didn’t feel awkward like this. Like she was interrupting him. A nuisance and an embarrassment.
He caught her upper arm as she attempted to slide past him. He brought her closer to him. His mouth nuzzled at her ear. “I’m not embarrassed by you. And thank you, you flatter me by being impressed with where I am and what I do.”
She looked up at him. “You made me feel weird.”
He sighed. “I shouldn’t have. I keep my personal life and feelings completely neutral here. I have trouble flipping it off. Maybe that’s why I don’t mix the two.”
She let his m
outh keep kissing at her neck and hairline as goosebumps broke out over her skin. “Then again, maybe I should,” he murmured as she turned in his embrace and his arms slid around her as he stood up and his mouth full-on came down over hers. He pushed her back against his desk and quickly, aggressively, the kiss went from a mild greeting to hot and very personal.
“You are a welcome distraction.” His hand came down to her chest and brushed over her breast, which beaded under his touch and stare. She closed her eyes and pushed towards the heat of his fingertips. He leaned down and lifted her shirt up, laying her back, and his warm breath touched her with just her bra between them. That quick, his other hand was on her bare stomach and sliding lower. He went under her leggings and over her panties before his fingers found the edge and dipped inside. She gasped in shock. What was he doing? They were at his work! He pressed into her as he kissed her again. She opened her eyes, however, when she heard voices.
She pushed against him. “People are out there,” she whispered.
“It’s middle of the day. Of course there are. No one will enter without my permission.”
She rolled her eyes at his macho answer and pushed at his shoulder. “So? I don’t do stuff like this during the day in an office.”
He slowly slid his hand from her underpants and let it rest more innocently on the tops of her thigh, still against her bare skin. He grinned finally, his hair falling over his forehead where he was looking down at her. He kissed her lips and then smiled a boyish smile. “You are so not the bad girl I first thought I was getting to date.”
