Wayward Soul

by K. Renee

  She looks anywhere but at me, so I grab her face. "Beauty, look at me." She keeps trying to look away, but I force her to look at me. "Babe, I promise to try my hardest not to hurt you, but give us a chance. Stop denying what you feel for me. We don't have to be exclusive. I just want any part of you I can get." I watch her lip tremble and she tries to pull away. "Case…”

  She stops pulling away from me and looks at me with a new expression. Hurt? Anger? Lust? I'm not really sure.

  "If you really want to just fuck me, then say so, Gunner! You want to be able to fuck every other girl, too? Just tell me that. Don't act like you care about my feelings because you don't!" Shit. This isn’t going how I want it to. I want to try this out. I couldn’t care less about fucking other people.

  "Casey,” I warn. She looks at me like I'm crazy. I wish this girl would just listen. "I hate seeing you with other men. I want to have you naked and in bed with me, not them. I want to try. If you find out this isn't for you, we’ll go our separate ways.” She looks hesitant. "But when I have you, I want all of you."

  Her eyes shoot up to mine. She's trying to see if I'm serious about this. I grab her hand and pull her to my bike. "No, Gunner!" she says, pulling out of my grip.

  I grab hold of her wrist and tug her back to me. "Casey, I'm not going to hurt you. I want to prove to you it's not just the sex, even though the sex is fucking amazing.”

  Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. "Gun, I have to go. I have class and I'm already running late."

  I take her by surprise when I grab her bag from her and take her hand. "I'll walk with you." Watching me for a minute, she smiles slightly and nods.

  The whole way to class, we talk about random things we like. The ten minute walk seems short, but I soak up every minute I get to spend with her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The past year has been amazing. I never thought Gunner would be this wonderful. He's sweet when he wants to be, but still has a dangerous side to him that drives me wild. We've never labeled what we are doing, but it feels like a relationship.

  Because we are finally in a good place, I don’t push the issue. We laugh, hang out, talk, and have awesome sex. It’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time and I am trying to keep it that way.

  Tonight we are going out to a fancy dinner and I'm really excited. We typically don't go anywhere fancy, but Gunner says tonight's special.

  I'm dressed and ready by the time Gunner gets to my apartment. Anslie moved out when she and Charlie got married last year. I still think she's making a mistake, but there is nothing I can do to change her mind. I miss her and the twins I wish I could see them more, but Charlie doesn't like me coming around the house.

  I still haven’t told Gunner her kids are Brant’s. He knows Anslie got married to Charlie and she had kids, but that’s as many details as I have gone into.

  The doorbell rings and I look in the mirror before opening the door. Standing there is a very well-dressed Gunner. His black slacks mold to fit his ass and legs perfectly, and his blood red dress shirt hugs his shoulders and biceps.

  Hot damn! There go my panties.

  Once my eyes return up to his face, I see his smirk. "Like what you see, beauty?" I nod and lick my lips. Hell yes, I like what I see! Standing on my tiptoes, I wrap an arm around his neck and bring his mouth to mine. I suck on his bottom lip and he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. "Mmm, babe, you look fantastic. Let's go before I change my mind and eat you for dinner." He wiggles his eyebrows and I giggle.

  He leads me outside and I look around the parking lot for his bike, but I don't see it. I was hoping that I would finally get to ride on it, but it looks like I don't get to. I frown. "You look disappointed, beauty,” he says, wrapping an arm around me.

  "I thought you were gonna bring your bike,” I say with a pout.

  He has never let a woman ride of the back of his bike. Every time he says he doesn't want an ol’ lady on it, I know things are short-lived. Right now, I'm taking him as I get him. I'm happy having a small part of him, instead of none of him at all.

  He kisses my lips. "As hot as you will look on my bike, I didn't want you to flash the whole world that sweet pussy of yours. That's mine and only I get to see it." He grips my ass and pulls me to him. His kiss devours me and I couldn’t care less about the bike now. When he breaks our kiss, I follow him in a daze. I can hear his laughter, but I don't care.

  We get into his black '69 Mustang and take off towards our destination. One minute, we're talking and laughing, and the next, glass is shattering. I start to scream and Gunner pushes my head down. "Stay down." I can feel the car swerving and I clutch onto the seat.

  Gunner has his hand on my head, holding it below the bottom of the window. I can hear motorcycles beside the car. "Case, I need you to call Johnny. Tell him we’re being shot at."

  Another window breaks and the glass falls on me. I can feel it cut my skin as I grab Gunner's phone off the seat and search for Johnny's name in his contacts. Gunner jerks the wheel and I scream, dropping the phone. Johnny answers while I'm screaming. "Yeah?" I can hear him ask.

  "Casey. Get the phone,” Gunner says.

  I pick the phone back up. "Hello?” I say cautiously.

  "Where's Gunner?" he barks.

  Tears start to roll down my face. “Someone’s shooting as us.”

  I hear him yelling at people in the background, then tells me to have Gunner take us by the house. "Gun, he said to go by the house. They are waiting.” I start to sob. I'm not made for this life. I am terrified and I just want to go home. I don't know how Anslie does this. I don't think I can handle this lifestyle. As much as I'm in love with Gunner, I don't know if it's worth it.

  More shots ring out and someone rams into us. "Baby, I'm gonna get us out of this. It'll be okay. Trust me."

  I can't help but cry more as a piece of glass cuts through my arm. He looks down at me for a moment before muttering under his breath. I pull myself closer to him and bury my face into his stomach. His hand is tangled in my hair and I just pray that this ends soon.

  A few minutes later, he speeds up and screeches to a halt in the driveway of the house. "Stay here, beauty." He moves out from under me and all I can do is nod. I'm terrified. I stay in my spot and wait for the gunfire to stop.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I can't believe someone shot at us. I want to fucking gut whoever it is. Those pussies from the Black Hills MC are asking for a death sentence. Once we are in Wayward Saints territory, I am able to relax a little as I pull into the compound and screech to a halt. I can see the fear in Casey's eyes and it kills me to know this is my fault. She deserves so much more.

  I make sure she's okay before I get out of the car and take my place with my brothers. Bullets are flying. The building is blocking Casey and the car, so I don't have to worry about her getting hurt.

  Gunshots are echoing off the buildings surrounding us and I can hear approaching sirens.

  Johnny yells at me to get Casey out of here, so I run back to the car. Opening the door, I see her curled up in a ball on the front seat. "Beauty?” I whisper so I don't scare her. She shakes her head at me. "Case, we need to go. Come on, baby,” I say with a little more authority. She looks up at me and I can see that she's terrified. I reach my hand out and she hesitantly grabs it.

  The sirens are getting closer, so I pull her out of the car and start walking towards the back entrance of the club. I check out the gate before pulling her out with me. We walk in the alley for a few minutes in complete silence. She won't even look at me. I pull her into my body as we trudge to the covered opening that leads to the street. When we finally get there, I pull the branches away and lead her through. "Gun…?” she whispers so low, I almost miss it.

  "Yeah, beauty?"

  "Can I go home?" Her voice is shaky and I can tell she's about to cry.

  Once we are through the false wall in the back of the compound, I close the entrance and pull her back into my body. "
Yeah, baby. I'll take you home."

  We make the three mile walk to her apartment in complete silence. I know she's thinking of all the bad shit that's happened in the last couple of hours and there's probably nothing I can say to make it better. I walk her up the steps to her apartment and wait for her to unlock the door. Her hands are shaking so badly, she keeps fumbling with the keys, so I grab her hand and gently pull them from her grip. Unlocking the door, I push it open and let her lead the way. I watch her movements as she sits on the couch. Her eyes are red and puffy.

  I walk to her bathroom and grab a few things to clean her cuts. I wet a washcloth and grab her first aid kit from under the sink. Walking back into the living room, I notice she hasn't moved.

  "Casey..." I start before she tries to stop me, but she pushes me away from her. Standing by the couch, I don't really know what to do or say. I want to reach out for her and pull her into my arms, but I'm not sure how that will go over right now.

  Instead, I spend the next fifteen minutes cleaning the cuts on her arms and legs, placing bandages on the really bad ones. I want to make everything better, but I can’t. I get up to throw the garbage away, but when I get back, I can see it written all over her face. I almost walk away at that moment…

  Screw it! This girl is mine and I will make her see that things are the same. I walk over and sit next to her, pulling her into my lap. Gripping her face lightly, I make her look at me. The tears are threatening, so I kiss her. She tenses, but once my tongue slips into her mouth, I can feel her relax. The passion between us is electric and nothing will ever compare.

  She suddenly pulls away and buries her head in my chest. I can feel her body shake with sobs and her fingers tangle into my shirt. I kiss her hair and rub her back. Looking into my eyes, she breaks my heart. "Gunner…,” she sobs. I know what’s coming next and I'm powerless to stop it. "I think...I think we should go our separate ways before one of us gets hurt." I watch her lip tremble and she sucks in a breath.

  I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me. Holy shit. Who knew it would hurt this bad? This must be exactly how Brant felt when he and Anslie parted ways.

  I'm too stunned to even say anything. I have no idea how to respond. I watch her get up off my lap and walk into her bedroom. I sit on the couch for a few minutes, just thinking about everything that just happened. If I can't win her over, I will walk away without looking back.

  Walking to her bedroom, I hear her crying through the closed door. I take a deep breath and open it. Her back is to me and she's curled up in a ball in the middle of her bed. I sit next to her and put my head in my hands. How could the perfect evening turn into this? This girl was my future. I want nothing more than to make sure that still happens, but I know she will fight me every step of the way. Maybe if I give her time, she will be able to get past this. I'm not used to feeling this way and I fucking hate it. Now I fucking get why Brant was moping all that time.

  After about ten minutes, I finally whisper, "Casey, over the last year, you have become one of the most important things in my life and I don't know how to fix this. I want you in my life, but I already know what you're gonna say. It’s a mistake, but it’s one I will live with if it makes you happy."

  I hear her sob louder as I make my way out of the room, out of the apartment, and out of her life.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I hear the door close quietly and I cry even harder. I want to be with Gunner, but I don’t think I can handle the violence in his life. We could have died tonight, but it doesn’t even seem to faze him. I was terrified. Hell, I still am. What if they come after me because of him? Does he even care that I could have been killed? I press my face into my pillow and cry until I have no more tears.

  The next thing I know, it’s dark. I check my phone. Shit, it's two a.m. I don’t even remember falling asleep, but I’ve been asleep for ten hours. I must have worn myself out from crying. My eyes are red and puffy and they burn.

  I don’t remember the last time I have ever cried so much. I want nothing more than to curl up in Gunner’s lap and let him tell me everything will be okay, but I can’t. I have to be smart about this. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to be shot at, either.

  Why do things have to be so freaking hard? Life sucks, but I know that’s just how it goes sometimes. I pick up my phone and send a text to Anslie. She’s been in my shoes before and she will know how to make it better…hopefully.

  Me: Ans, Gunner and I just broke up. What do I do to make it not hurt? :(

  I’m wide awake now and all I can do is wait for her to text me back. My mind keeps replaying the shooting, me ending things, and him walking away. My heart hurts, but I know I need to do this. When I think that I cannot possibly cry any more, fresh tears start to fall down my cheeks. I hear my phone beep with a message and I’m afraid to look at the screen.

  Anslie: I didn't even know you two were together. Are you okay? Do you need me to get you anything?

  This is why she’s my best friend. She would drop everything to help me. A few minutes later, my phone starts to ring. I look down and see Anslie and her kids’ faces pop up on my screen. Smiling, I answer it. “Anslie, what do I do?” I whimper.

  I hear her sigh before she answers, “Case, what happened? Do you need me to stop by?”

  The tears start to fall again. “Things were great for the last year. Last night, someone was shooting at us. Everything happened so fast, I’m terrified that whoever it was is going to come after me. What do I do, Ans? I miss him and I love him.”

  I start to sob and she whispers reassuring things to me. When my tears start to slow, I ask her why she is still awake. She tells me that Charlie is still at work and the boys are already asleep, but she’s having trouble falling asleep.

  We spend the next hour talking about me and Gunner, then her and the boys. She barely mentions Charlie, which strikes me as odd. He never seems to be part of the boys’ lives, and he is rarely home with Anslie. Maybe I was wrong to set them up after Brantley left, but I wanted my best friend to be happy again. She and the boys deserve so much more than she has had lately.

  Once I get off the phone, I go to the kitchen and make some food, then try and force myself to eat. However, after one bite of my sandwich, I feel like I’m going to puke. All I can think about is that Gunner is probably out with some whore, getting his dick sucked. Ugh. Why am I doing this to myself?

  I throw my food away and make my way back to my room. Getting into bed, I pull the blankets up to my neck and try to shut my mind off. Tossing and turning for the next three hours is torture. No matter what I do, I can only think about the past year. Although we never went anywhere other than my place and places within walking distance, it was probably the best year of my life. He made me feel alive and cherished. Something no one has ever made me feel before. When we were alone, it was all about us and nothing, except club business, could break it up. Even though he would still get messages and calls from slutty bitches, I knew he wasn’t going to them. We were always committed to each other.

  For the last year, Gunner and I spent almost every night together, unless he was on a run, so being alone in my bed is depressing. That must be why I can’t fall asleep. His warmth made me feel safe, and I miss his scent. God, I’m pathetic. How did we get here?

  After another hour staring at the wall, my phone beeps with a message. When I look at the screen, I feel like I got punched in my stomach.

  Sexy Biker: Found this on my phone and can’t bring myself to delete it. You mean more to me than any other woman. Remember that, beauty.

  My eyes start to water again as I stare at a picture of Gunner and I in my bed. I took it three months ago when we were having a very lazy and sex-induced Sunday. In the picture, you can see Gunner’s naked chest, my head lying on it. We are both smiling and happy.

  I want to rewind time and go back to that moment, staying in it forever.

  I don’t even respond to him, and end up crying myself to sle
ep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Looking at my phone, I come across some pictures Casey took. I feel the knife dig deeper in my chest when I see her beautiful face. That was one of the best days of my life, and I can’t believe I’ve lost more days like that.

  When I got back to the house last night, the cops were waiting for me to arrive. I got questioned for six hours and released because I didn’t actually shoot at anyone. The detective has been wanting to put one of us away for a while, but he hasn’t been able to get us on anything. He tries to make up shit, but it just gets dismissed by a judge every time.

  My car is fucking toast. Now I have to replace everything those motherfuckers broke.

  I hear Johnny calling me and I look up, holding up a finger to tell him to wait a second. I shoot a text to Casey, attaching the picture I was looking at. I turn my phone off and make my way to Johnny and some of the other guys. I hear them talking about what we are going to do to retaliate against the Black Hills MC. I want to fucking blow up their compound, but Johnny and Prez want us to be smart and not act rashly. However, they weren’t the fuckers getting shot at, so they don’t feel the need to kill every last one of them. Hell, I even lost my girl because of those bastards.

  Making our way to the bikes, I get a bad feeling. Stopping, I make my way over to Johnny and ask if he can put a prospect on Casey. Even if we aren’t together, I don’t want her to be unprotected.

  Johnny makes sure it’s handled and we get on our bikes.

  We make the hour drive to the Black Hills MC clubhouse and park about three miles out. Parking our bikes in the trees, we wait. Ten minutes later, Prez calls with word that they are on their way. We set up a line of fifteen men armed with Mac 10’s and AR 15’s.