Holding My Breath

by A. M. Hartnett

  ‘Upstairs, right now.’

  She promptly sprang to her feet and followed him – no, was dragged by him – from the dining room to the stairs. She barely had a moment to take in the enormous king-size bed and the view that rivalled the one downstairs before he grasped her wrists and dragged her down with him.

  Quinn sat on the bed and propped himself up on his elbows, and Molly pushed her hair out of the way as she went down for her mouthful.

  ‘Yes, put your hair away so I can watch how good you are,’ he said, and made a fist around the curtain she had pushed away from her shoulders. He pressed her down and filled her mouth, then moaned long and low as she indulged herself on every inch.

  Every time she withdrew, she glanced up at him and was struck by how gorgeous he was, with that slight pout as he breathed in and out, the hissing sound matching the rise and fall of his hard chest. If she lingered too long, mouthing the head like it was made of chocolate while gazing at him, he gave her a firm push and down she’d go again, ravenous until she’d catch another glimpse of him.

  ‘If you want to watch, I can get out my camera and you can watch it later,’ he said, his breathless tone carrying a hint of warning.

  Back to work, Miss Priss, it said.

  Molly scooted deeper into the space between his thighs and hunched over. Sore ass thrust up, she took him with both hands as he fucked up into her mouth. The sounds poured out of him, sometimes demanding curses, other times helpless groans. His grip on her tightened, but he eventually surrendered to her.

  Intoxicated by the heat of his body beating against her face, sliding beneath her hands and inside her mouth, Molly seized upon him. She was insatiable, kneading and sucking, echoing his grunts and moans. With each vibration she sent through his shaft, Quinn tensed a little more until he was contorted across the centre of the bed, body stiff save for the life that throbbed in her mouth.

  She felt the surge coming and took him deep one last time, then sucked along the entire length. By the time she reached the tip, Quinn had released her and grasped the bedding beneath him as he went off.

  Molly poised her tongue beneath his glans and let the hot fluid coat her mouth and lips and drip down her chin.

  This was the sight that greeted him when he lifted his head. Molly pushed herself up onto her knees and dragged her arm across her sticky face, then licked her lips.

  ‘I want to do what you do for one night,’ she said, and waited for her words to sink beneath his flushed skin.

  It was a slow process, like ice melting in the sun. After a moment of just staring at her with that film to his stare, Quinn sat up.

  ‘Sorry, what?’

  ‘I –’ Molly closed her mouth.

  The idea was something that had just popped into her head, and she really didn’t have any words to articulate the desire. All she knew was that the compulsion had come upon her as easily as the one that had jabbed her the day they met. She couldn’t explain it. There was just the lure.

  She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.

  ‘Just one night, I want to do what you do, with you.’

  ‘Molly –’

  ‘You said yourself when we first met that I could make a lot of money with my mouth. Well, let me do it.’ A head rush came and went, leaving her light and giddy even as the discomfort showed on his face. He reached for her, and she caught his hands. ‘Give me one good reason why not.’

  ‘I can give you fifteen off the top of my head.’

  Groaning, she scrambled up the bed to sit next to him. ‘You can have complete control over it. You can pick the client, or clients –’

  ‘I’m not going to be your pimp, and you’re not going to do this.’

  He shoved his fingers through his hair and drew a deep breath. Poor boy, barely had time to go soft, and now look at that scowl.

  ‘Why would you even want to do it?’ he asked.

  ‘Why did you do it the first time? Why did you do it for sixteen years?’

  ‘One, because I was young and stupid; two, once I had been doing it for a while I couldn’t do anything else.’

  ‘Don’t give me that. No, don’t –’ She clasped her arms around his neck as he tried to get off the bed. He didn’t resist, but his embrace around her waist was a little stiff. ‘I want to do it because it’s exciting and dirty, and I want to do it for the money.’

  Quinn turned his head towards her as she rested her cheek against his shoulder. ‘Molly, if you need money, I’ll give you the money.’

  It wasn’t just the money. Without a doubt, one night of Quinn’s earnings would take a decent chunk of credit-card debt off her plate, but there was so much more to her request. So much, she struggled to articulate it to him.

  ‘I listen to you tell me about the things you do to those women and I get turned on, and that turns you on. Remember that fantasy you told me about? The one where you imagined I was behind you, watching while you went down on that woman? I want that, only I want the real thing. I want your hand on my shoulder and I want to hear you telling me how good I am while I’m sucking off whoever you choose.’

  Though she was close to him his features were a blur, but she caught the pucker of his lips and the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed the scenario she had given him.

  ‘If you hadn’t just come in my mouth, you’d be getting hard right now, wouldn’t you?’ she whispered close to his ear, and delight ran through her in hot little sparks as he shivered. ‘The money is only a perk, and really it wouldn’t go far. It’s the experience I want.’

  He gave his head a shake and his frown deepened. ‘We could just have a threesome.’

  Molly knelt up and cupped his cheek to claim his gaze. Her fingertips itched with the urge to smooth out the frown lines on his forehead and between his eyebrows. ‘I don’t want to “just have a threesome”. Even threesomes can get personal, and I don’t want personal with anyone but you.’

  Again, he shook his head, but she could see that what she told him was sinking in, and that the picture was becoming as vivid in his head as it was in hers.

  ‘Think of how hard it will make you. Think of that moment when you finally get me to yourself to do whatever you want.’ She ran her hand down his chest and pressed her brow to his. ‘It doesn’t have to be sex, even oral sex. It can be something else. He can spank me. I’d even let a woman do it.’

  He tightened his embrace. Molly straddled him and settled on his thighs. Whatever he said, she wouldn’t push it. If he said no, she wouldn’t point out the hypocrisy of his decision or argue with him.

  She didn’t want it if he didn’t want it.

  As she awaited his verdict, she leaned forward and kissed him, pecking at one corner of his mouth and then the other. Quinn made another sound, a cross between a whimper and a moan. It was the same sound she made when offered an extra slice of cheesecake: No, really, I shouldn’t … but I will.

  ‘There is someone,’ he said at last, stroking up and down her back. ‘He’s easy to please, so to speak. If you decided you only wanted straight sex, he’d be up for it, but he won’t pay as much for it. He likes a challenge. He likes a woman who can twist him around her finger and give it as good as she takes it.’

  He turned her onto her back. His expression had softened completely now, and she parted her lips to welcome his kiss.

  Leaving her as light-headed as Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, Quinn propped himself up on his hands.

  ‘I’ll arrange it. I don’t know when. He comes and goes for work, but he’ll do it. I’m sure of it.’

  ‘Good,’ she said, and followed the trajectory of his arm as he stretched over her head.

  He pulled open the nightstand and produced an old friend: the green vibrator he’d used on her that first night. She hadn’t seen it since, and now that he gave it a twist she discovered that she had missed it desperately.

  He pushed apart her thighs, then poised the vibrator over her sex. ‘You sure you want to d
o this?’

  Grinning back at him, Molly threw her arms up around her in submission. ‘Totally.’

  ‘Then you’re going to need a lot of practice if you want to be as good as me.’

  Her filthy retort never made the jump off her tongue. She clutched the bedding around either side of her head, lifted her hips and sighed as he pressed the oscillating tip to her clit.

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Molly, can I have a minute?’

  Looking up from the boot she was attempting to wrangle onto her foot, Molly had a hell of a time keeping the annoyance from her face as Nick filled the doorframe.

  ‘Can it wait until tomorrow? I’ve got an appointment I need to get to.’

  ‘I’ll only take a few minutes,’ he said and stepped inside. When he shut the door behind him, Molly knew she wasn’t slipping out a few minutes early like she had hoped.

  Today was the day. Quinn was waiting for her in the high-rise next door. He’d texted her at mid-morning to let her know that their Friday-night dinner plans were on the clock – or, more specifically, she was on the clock. This mysterious acquaintance of his was back in town and eager to do business with Molly. After she’d disconnected from Quinn she gave herself no more than five minutes, with her office door closed and blinds shut, to combust. She ran out at lunch for something new to wear, stopping at Quinn’s on her way back and thrusting bags into his arms as soon as he opened the door, then bolting back to the elevator before he could say something smart.

  For the first time since meeting him, her thoughts were consumed by something other than Quinn. One minute she worried she’d made a mistake by agreeing to – no, arranging this sordid episode. The next minute she was wrapped up in a fantasy that left her slippery.

  Now, with Nick taking the chair alongside her desk, Molly still couldn’t push those thoughts into the background. She smiled and repressed a snappish urge to tell him to be quick about it, perhaps even throw in his face his own second vocation, though if she was catty enough to do so she wasn’t sure if Nick knew she was aware that he was more than just a referral service.

  ‘What’s up?’

  He stretched his legs in front of him, and not for the first time Molly found herself unimpressed. For all she knew he could have been a beast in bed, but compared to Quinn he had no charisma, no allure, no presence.

  ‘This is a little inappropriate, but I need to talk business with you.’

  Molly held out her hands. ‘Well, I am the boss.’

  ‘Not that sort of business. Other business.’

  ‘Right.’ She settled back in her chair and folded her hands together. ‘I don’t really think we should be talking about this.’

  ‘Come on, Molly. I know you’ve got yourself involved with Quinn.’

  There was nothing threatening or sarcastic in his tone, but nonetheless her body tightened as her defences rose, and betrayal whispered in her head.

  It must have shown on her face, because Nick leaned forward and gave her a smile. ‘He hasn’t been running his mouth. I’d been putting two and two together for a few weeks now, and then I was out for a smoke on the weekend and saw the two of you walking around the park together.’

  She pressed her lips together and sank back in her chair. She’d long stopped caring about whether anyone from work saw them together. She didn’t feel the need to justify herself to anyone, not when she was so happy just to be with him. Besides, if she wasn’t in the thick of it and saw her boss walking hand-in-hand with Quinn she’d just shrug and assume she was wrong about him being a dick for hire.

  Nick was another matter. She wouldn’t call him a problem, but it irked her that she had landed on his radar after giving him a hard time when this whole thing began.

  ‘Now I really don’t think we should be talking about this.’ This time there was less effort to keep the bitchiness from her tone, but she laughed. ‘All right, Nick, if we’ve got no secrets between us, what can I do for you?’

  ‘I want to ask him for his client list,’ he said quickly, then added, ‘I know he’s giving it all up soon, and I want to be the man he passes the torch to.’

  ‘Then you need to take that up with Quinn.’

  ‘And I will, but if I ask and I get, this will have an impact on more than just how often I take my appointments.’

  Molly gave him a sly look. ‘You want to do this full time.’

  ‘Hell, yeah. Why wouldn’t I? You’ve seen Quinn. The man is a rock star. I want that. I don’t want to be behind the front desk any more. I’ve had a good thing going so far. I keep Quinn’s schedule full and he throws some business my way, but I’m ready to do this full-time. I’m ready to be the man.’

  She laughed, both at his candour but also the idea that he could even aspire to be in the same league as Quinn.

  It’s a skill not every man possesses, and it can’t be taught.

  ‘And you want my support? We talked about this. It’s why I set up that appointment with Quinn.’

  ‘Yeah, and I know that it’s easier said than done to keep sex workers off the property. You have to know who they are, and I know who they are. Not to mention that even with the changes, there’ll always be guests who want a little more than room service. A couple of other clerks know my secret and so far I’ve refused to cut them in. That could change. I could show them what to look for and –’

  Molly held up her hand. ‘I’m going to stop you right there. We’re getting into some sketchy territory that could open up some very dark doors. It’s one thing to look the other way, but what you’re talking about is something I’m not at all comfortable with for a number of reasons. You remember what happened at the Islandview a few years ago? Some of the employees started a little side business and it got away from them. Next thing you know, the place exploded with allegations of sex trafficking involving underage girls.’

  ‘They were amateurs and idiots.’

  ‘And that sort of thinking will get a good-looking guy like you a cellmate who likes it when you wear frosted lipstick. The answer is no.’

  She got to her feet and went for her coat, signalling the end of the conversation. Nick looked like he wanted to argue the point, but he kept his mouth shut, though he showed his agitation by wringing his hands.

  The absurdity of the moment made her head light. Here she was, a woman dating a male prostitute, having a business conversation with another male prostitute when she was about to get into another man’s bed for money.

  She shook it off and turned back to Nick.

  ‘If you want to make a living at this, good luck to you, but just because I’ve been seeing Quinn personally doesn’t mean I’m endorsing what goes on. I can’t control every piece of ass for sale that walks through the door, but I’ll be damned before I let you or anyone else turn the front desk into some sort of drive-through for cock and pussy.’

  ‘You know all these women will go somewhere else if they can’t get it here, right?’

  ‘And if you want the truth, I don’t want to lose the business, which is why I’m going to play dumb if you take on Quinn’s client list. If one of our guests invites you onto the property, walk on through. Don’t show off like Quinn does and make a production out of your arrival like the red carpet had been rolled out for you.’

  Molly could only imagine the amused look she’d get from the man in question if he could hear her, and had to disguise her laugh in a cough.

  ‘Meet her around the corner,’ she went on, ‘or come in and go right up to the room. As for your little green book, take it with you when you go. You want a referral, get one from another hotel.’

  She looked at the clock and pulled her coat closed. She was beyond ready to get the hell out of here and get the night’s adventure on the way. Taking her cue, Nick got to his feet and tucked his hands in his pockets.

  She took a few seconds to give him a second look. No, he was no Quinn Pattengale, but he was attractive. He’d never pull off Quinn’s style, but she could see now h
ow he could develop his own style to work with.

  ‘When are you going to ask him to pass the torch?’

  Nick shrugged. ‘Soon – you don’t think he’s already got someone lined up, do you?’

  ‘I don’t ask,’ she lied.

  Of course, she had asked during one of those brain-picking sessions. None of his clients knew that he would be finished in a couple of weeks. He’d just deal with the requests as they came in and refer them to whichever of his colleagues he felt was a good fit. With a few exceptions, he already planned to give Nick the best of them.

  ‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked.

  ‘Make it quick.’

  ‘How do you do it? You knew what Quinn did when you walked into that room.’

  She didn’t struggle for words like she expected she would when posed with such a question. She just said what she felt.

  ‘I like him. I don’t know what else to say, but I like him enough to wait for him.’

  ‘What happens if he changes his mind and goes back to it?’

  ‘He won’t.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  It was a good question, but since their affair began she was sure of one thing: Quinn was done. He wanted that day-after so bad sometimes it looked like he could taste it. He wanted something else, and when he looked at Molly she knew that she was a big part of that something else.

  Because it was easier than trying to explain to Nick how powerful was this connection she’d forged with Quinn, she just shrugged and lied to him.

  ‘I guess I don’t.’

  * * *

  They could have been just another couple on date night.

  Molly took the hand Quinn offered and stepped from the passenger seat of his car where he had parked it on the street. He grasped the other as she evaded an icy patch and under the streetlights she detected a disapproving pinch of his mouth. Like a haranguing old wife, he had repeatedly quipped about her footwear – black pumps with a T-strap – and the icy conditions the previous day’s rainfall and consequent freeze had created.