A Hunger So Wild: A Renegade Angels Novel

by Sylvia Day

  She tugged at his jeans, but he stopped her, catching her by the chin and tilting her face up.

  “Vashti.” His eyes were dark with concern. “Talk to me.”

  “Don’t wanna talk. I want you.”

  He joined her on the floor, kneeling and brushing her hair back from her face. “We’re going to face a lot of tough situations together. It’s the nature of who we are.”

  “Easy for you to say.” She smacked his hand away. “The chances of my dying are slim to none. You’re dying right now. Every minute.”

  “Ah.” Elijah sank back onto his heels, completely oblivious to the stunningly sensual sight he presented—bare-chested with his button fly parted just enough to expose the thin, silky line of hair that led to delicious places below. So vital and virile. A potent force of nature. And yet his days on this earth were finite. “I get it.”

  “I don’t think you do. How can you?”

  Setting his hands on his knees, he exhaled in a rush. “Mated lycans live longer.”

  “What? What did you say?”

  “You heard me. And you love me. Enough that it’s driving you crazier than you already were to begin with.”

  She stared at him. Then she pushed to her feet, pulling herself together with as much dignity as she could muster. They weren’t going to talk about this. Ever. It was bad enough without saying the words. “Go take that shower you wanted.”

  Catching her wrist when she moved to pass him, he stood. “I’m glad.”

  “Don’t get excited. This place may not have hot water.”

  “I’m glad you love me,” he qualified.

  “Did I say that? I don’t think I said that.”

  “Okay, then.” His thumb brushed over the madly throbbing pulse in her wrist. “I won’t say it either. Doesn’t make it less true.”

  The sharpening pain in her chest had her stumbling to the bed. She sat gracelessly, her gaze on the blank television screen.

  “Go shower,” she said again.

  “Join me?”

  She shook her head, wondering how she would survive going through this twice. Suffering through the debilitating, devastating pain twice. And she was stunned that she could even equate the two men she loved together—one who was with her for eons alongside one she’d known only a matter of days. How could she feel this way so swiftly? Worse, there was no doubt her affection for Elijah would grow as time passed, becoming even more necessary until she wouldn’t be able to breathe without him.

  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, then let her go. A moment later, she heard the shower come on in the bathroom. And a moment after that, she heard him singing.

  The pain in her chest turned into a sweet yearning. He had a beautiful tenor, showcased by the choice of song, which she didn’t recognize. But he could’ve sung horribly off-key, for all she cared. It wasn’t his talent that seduced her, but the intimacy of sharing this downtime with him. The gift of seeing him open and unguarded.

  Mated. Vash shook her head. That word didn’t mean the same thing to a lycan as it did to a vampire. When Charron died, she’d gone on. Inarguably altered by the loss, yes, but capable of moving forward all the same. When Elijah mated, he would live until he died of old age or his mate died, whichever came first. He couldn’t survive either circumstance.

  She was still contemplating that when he emerged from the bathroom, naked and dripping wet. He shook out his hair, spraying her and the rest of the room with droplets of water.

  “Hey,” she protested. “Watch it, puppy.”

  He glanced at her as he went to the dresser and checked his cell phone. “You’re doing enough watching for the both of us, cougar. You’re ogling, really. My ass is burning.”

  “It’s a very nice ass.” She was startled by the throatiness of her voice. Due to his effect on her, of course. The one she’d been experiencing since she first saw him naked and bleeding in a Utah cave, his luscious body still vibrating with the threat of imminent violence.

  She wasn’t going to think about the end. She was going to focus on the here and now, taking everything she could from him, giving everything she had. If his life was going to pass with the swiftness of a dream, she was going to make sure they blazed as bright as the sun so that when the time came, she’d burn out with him.

  She unzipped her vest and said with unmistakable possession, “Mine.”

  He faced her, his eyes dropping to her exposed breasts. A rumbling purr escaped him. “Mine.”

  She beckoned him with a crook of her finger. He came to a stop in front of her, standing between her parted knees, his glistening cock directly at eye level. When he reached for her shoulders to push her back onto the bed, she linked her hands with his and held him back, her tongue darting out to lick the length of his rigid erection.

  “God…” His head fell back. “I dreamed about your mouth on me that first night in Bryce Canyon.”

  Determined to erase the memory of the last time she’d gone down on him, Vash released his hands and stroked him with her fists. His rough sound of pleasure was as beautiful to her ears as his singing. When his fingers tangled in her hair and began directing her, she gave herself over to him, allowing him to set the pace and depth, enjoying the confidence with which he took what he needed from her. It hadn’t been that way with Char, who’d been reverent with her. Elijah was a much earthier creature. He was both a lycan, with a beast’s base needs, and a man who understood his woman’s need to cede control at times.

  She tightened the ring of her lips and deepened the suction, dizzy with desire and love. The taste of him, so clean and rich and purely male, went to her head. Her sex softened and grew slick, greedy for him. Mouthing the plush head, she moaned when a hard shudder tore through him.

  He gasped, his thighs trembling. “You suck me so good…You’re so fucking hot…”

  Lifting her head, she released him from her lips and pushed the rigid length between her cleavage. She pressed her arms tightly together, hugging his throbbing erection with the breasts he loved so much.

  “Vashti.” The look in his eyes was her reward, the need he revealed so stark and intimate. “You shred me.”

  “Yours,” she said softly, licking her lips as he gripped her shoulders to keep her still. He began to thrust slowly, gently, his rhythm not quite even.

  “Beautiful,” he said hoarsely. “You’re so damn beautiful.”

  Bending his knees, he quickened his pace, his breath sawing from his lungs. His eyes grew bright and feverish, his skin flushed and misted with sweat.

  She felt the tension grip him, watched the tight lacing of muscle on his abdomen flex and contract with every pump of his hips. He was close; she could feel it…

  “Enough.” He withdrew and flipped her in one economical movement, bending her over the bed and shoving her pants down. With a loose fist in her hair, he pushed into her, gliding through tender, swollen tissues in a smooth, deep slide.

  Her eyes closed on a whimper of delight. She lost herself in the lazy haze of pleasure, the simple beauty of Elijah’s thorough, unhurried tempo. Slow and easy. Rolling his hips with a skill and control that stole her breath. Knowing just how to take her, how deep to thrust, how far to withdraw, how much pressure to exert when he ground himself into her. Her eyes stung with the purity of the connection, both raw and tender. Impossibly intimate.

  He nuzzled her loosened vest off her shoulder and whispered in her ear. “One day soon, when you’re ready, I’m going to mount you like this. I’m going to ride you while you arch your neck for me. I’m going to mark you with my teeth. Fuck you. Mate with you. Then you’ll be mine, Vashti. Irrevocably. Every luscious, stubborn, dangerous inch of you. Mine.”

  She shivered into a devastating climax with that promise in her heart. As impossible as it was, it was hers. Just as he was.

  Elijah woke from a deep, healing sleep in the midst of a shift, his body jackknifing up as a man and hitting the carpeted floor as a lycan. He spun abou
t, snarling, looking for the threat that stirred his beast. Vashti’s whimper from the bed pinned him, freezing him in a block of ice.

  “No!” She gasped, her body shuddering through her nightmare. “Please. Stop…”

  Ah, God. He whined in torment, his gut churning. Focusing on his heart rate, he willed it to slow, forcing his mind to clear so he could shift back into the form that could wake her without scaring her. The form that could hold her close and give her comfort.

  The few moments it took to get himself under control seemed like days. Vashti thrashed naked in their bed, her lush body jerking with remembered pain, and he had no way to fight the demons that plagued her soul. No way to avenge her. Not yet.

  The moment he shifted, he lunged to the bed and caught her up, his arms banding around her as she fought against him in the midst of her dream.

  “Vashti,” he said gruffly, his throat tight with anger and grief. “Come back to me, sweetheart. Wake up.”

  She curled into his chest, her silken skin slick with a cold sweat. “Elijah.”

  “I’m here. I have you.”

  Shuddering violently, she pressed a cold nose to his skin. “Damn it.”

  “Shh…” He rocked her, his lips pressed to the crown of her head. “It’s all right. It’s over now.”

  “No.” She shook her head, her nails digging into his back as she clutched at him. “I can’t sleep, damn it. All I want is to lie next to you when you rest, to curl up beside you and dream with you. They fucking took that away from me.”

  Tipping her back to see her tear-streaked face, Elijah brushed aside the strands of damp hair that clung to her forehead and cheeks and met her haunted gaze. To see so strong a woman reduced to a terrified creature broke his heart and incited a lethal wrath that had no outlet. He could protect her from outside forces and he would, but the darkness inside her was something he couldn’t reach until she let him. “Not forever. When we’re mated—”

  “We’re not going to mate, damn it!” She struggled violently out of his arms, like a feral animal, and he released her only so she wouldn’t hurt herself. “I can’t breed, Elijah. I can’t give you cute little fanged pups to trip over after a long day of Alpha’ing packs of lycans who want me dead.”

  “And I won’t live forever,” he shot back. “We’re not perfect, but we’re all we have. Damned if I’ll watch you suffer when I can help you.”

  “There’s nothing to help with! It was over a long time ago.”

  “Not in your mind, it’s not. Not in your dreams. When we’re mated—” He held up a hand before she opened her mouth. “Shut up and listen to me. When we’re mated, I’ll be able to share those dreams with you. I’ll be able to fight off the demons that hurt you. We’ll be able to talk to each other, share with each other, without a word.”

  Her eyes widened in horror. “I don’t want you in my head.”

  “You had no problems digging into mine.”

  “That was different. We were having sex. I wanted you to feel good.”

  “Right back atcha, sweetheart.” His jaw tightened. “You need me in your head. And I need to be in there. It’s killing me to see you hurt like this. To smell your fear.”

  “I just need to stay awake.” Vash began to pace, her wild hair swaying around her nude torso. “I don’t need sleep like you do. I can go without it.”

  “Fuck that.” He pushed to his feet. “Your body may not need sleep, but your mind does. Your heart does.”

  “You don’t know what they did to me,” she bit out. “I don’t want you to know. You won’t know. I won’t let you.”

  Elijah crossed his arms. “Try and stop me.”

  “It’s not necessary. We can work around it.”

  “No deals, sweetheart. Do you think there’s something—anything—that could make me not want you? Don’t you think I would’ve found that escape route before we passed the point of no return? You’re right. I don’t know what was done to you. But I’ve got the gist and a really twisted, sick, fucked-up imagination. Chances are, what I can picture in my head is worse than reality, but it doesn’t matter either way. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing can.”

  “You don’t know that.” She fisted the roots of her hair with both hands. “I won’t risk you finding out the hard way.”

  He caught her when she paced by and made her look at him. “The only thing that could come between us is infidelity. In that case, you wouldn’t have to worry about me walking away because you’d both be dead.”

  Vash stared at him a moment, her eyes bleak; then the corner of her mouth twitched. “And you call me the crazy one?”

  “I’m going to make you happy.” He pulled her close. The icy lump in his stomach melted when her slender arms encircled him. “Whether you like it or not. Whether you fight me or not.”

  “Oh, I’ll fight you,” she promised, her eyes clear of shadows. “That’s the way I roll.”

  He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

  CHAPTER 19

  “Stick close,” Elijah said as Vashti climbed out of the passenger side of their rental, her gaze trained on the massive metal gate that was the entrance to the Huntington lycan outpost. “They’ll know you’re mine the moment they get a whiff of you. I’d be surprised if we don’t face at least one challenger here. Especially from whoever’s been running this place since they revolted.”

  She slid sunglasses over her golden eyes and rounded the hood. “I’ve got your back, babe. And your fine ass, too.”

  He couldn’t help but look twice, then stare. She was wearing one of the sleek, sleeveless black bodysuits that looked like wet paint applied directly to her skin. Black leather boots covered her from toe to knee and her long, blood red hair hung loosely down her back. For the first time since he’d met her, she wore jewelry: a stunning necklace she’d picked up that morning when she was out fetching him coffee from Starbucks. The fact that she’d thought of his desire for caffeine—a desire she didn’t share—touched him. But the necklace touched him more. It was an elaborate collar of peridot around her neck, a color she said reminded her of his eyes.

  The nonchalance with which she’d told him about her selection didn’t fool him for a minute. The necklace shook up her usual stark mourning black in an unmistakable way. No one could miss the statement, and she’d chosen to make it with something she associated with him.

  She’d gone on to tell him that her wings had been a similar color, putting a picture in his head of a ruby-haired, sapphire-eyed, peridot-winged angel with pale-as-a-pearl skin. Impossibly gorgeous, he’d thought, wishing he could have seen her that way. Then he’d pulled her close and kissed her until she went lax in his arms and her dreamy smile revealed her wickedly sharp fangs. The angel she’d been was in the past. It was the vampress who held his heart. The fallen angel with a warrior’s soul. The woman who’d suffered brutality at the hands of demons and been broken only to come back stronger and fiercer than ever.

  “Micah’s always going to be a problem, isn’t he?” she asked softly, absently adjusting the fit of her katana scabbards. “Or more accurately, what I did to him and what you did to his widow because of me.”

  He didn’t deny it. There was no point.

  “I’m sorry, El.” Reaching out, she linked her fingers with his. “Not that I did it, because under the circumstances and the information I had to go on, I would do it again. But I’m sorry that it hurt you and that it’s causing you trouble now.”

  The video screen beside the door flickered, and a stern male face appeared. “Who are you? And what do you want?”

  Since the feed was closest to Vashti, she approached it first. “Your Alpha is here to check the place out. A warm welcome is expected. A little brownnosing wouldn’t hurt.”

  Elijah sighed. “Vashti.”

  “What?” She strolled over to him.

  The thirty-foot door slid open smoothly, revealing a party of a half-dozen armed lycans�
��five males and one female. Vashti looked down at the multitude of red pistol scope laser sights shimmering on her chest. A wicked smile curved her lips, and she bared her fangs.

  “Behave,” he admonished her before stepping forward. “Lower your weapons. She’s with me.”

  “She’s a vampire,” the tall, tawny-haired lycan in the middle said with a scowl.

  “Cute and observant,” Vash purred. “I’m sorry I left the Scooby Snacks back at the hotel.”

  The lycan’s aim lifted to center mass of her forehead.

  Elijah pulled the sunglasses off his face. “Ah, but clearly his hearing is defective. I may need to put him down.”

  “Can I watch?” she asked sweetly.

  The dark-haired lycan next to Trigger-Happy holstered his weapon and came forward. His nostrils twitched, and one brow rose as he looked back and forth between Elijah and Vashti. “Interesting.”

  Vash’s grin widened. “You have no idea.”

  The lycan extended his hand to Elijah. “I’m Paul. We weren’t aware there was an Alpha in charge.”

  Vash stepped closer, clearly protective. “Why send a messenger when he can take care of it himself? Your Alpha takes the hands-on approach.”

  “We have a hierarchy here,” Trigger-Happy said tightly. “You’ll respect it, or you can find another outpost to shelter you.”

  She shook her head. “Definitely no treats for you.”

  Trigger-Happy took aim.

  In the time it took for Vash to pivot out of the way, Elijah shifted and lunged. He knocked the blond down and ripped his throat out in one fluid movement.

  Gunshots fired around them. Elijah spun in a snarling crouch, prepared to attack again…only to find three of the lycans nursing bleeding trigger hands and one of the males standing with both arms up in the air and his gaze rigidly trained on the ground. Vash held Paul’s pistol in one hand and the back of his neck in the other, her arm straightened so that he was forced to his knees on the ground.

  Elijah shifted forms and walked toward his discarded clothes, admiration and respect for his woman filling him in a heated rush.