Wicked Chemistry

by R. L. Kenderson

  I smacked him in the arm. “You had me freaking out. You are such a turd.”

  “You should have seen your face.”

  “For scaring me to death, you owe me a shot.”

  “That I can do.”

  I got off my chair. “Let’s go then.”

  “Lead the way.”

  “All right, Eden, we’re heading out for the night.”

  “What? Why?” I whined. I’d been having a deep conversation with Xavier about some of the people he’d busted, and I wanted to hear more stories.

  “You’ve had enough to drink. I’m not sure you can even stand up anymore.”

  I got off my chair. “See, I can stand.” And then I promptly fell against the table, which made me laugh.

  Becca put my arm around her shoulders. “Come on. I’ll help you outside.”

  “I’ll help, too,” Connor said, coming up on the other side of me. “Tell everyone good-bye.”

  “Bye, everyone,” I said a little too loudly. “Bye, Xavier.” I blew him a kiss. “Bye, Kurt.” I waved at him like a dork.

  “Come on, Eden.”

  I sighed. “Okay.”

  Becca and Connor led me outside to Becca’s car and helped me get in the passenger seat.

  “Connor, you’re such a nice guy.”

  He chuckled. “Thanks, Eden.”

  “I’m so glad Becca found you.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’m so glad you two are getting married.”

  “Eden!” Becca said from behind Connor.

  “Whoops,” I said and put my finger to my lips. “Shh … it’s a secret.”

  Becca did a face-palm and shook her head. She looked up and pointed at Connor. “You. Forget she said anything.” And she pointed at me. “And you. I’m going to kill you tomorrow.”

  I just laughed.

  Connor gave Becca a come-here motion. “I’ll forget she said anything as long as you promise to still go out of town with me.”

  Becca grinned. “Of course I’m going.”

  They smiled at each other like kids.

  “You two are so cute.”

  Becca stepped away. “Say good night, Eden.”

  “Good night, Eden,” I said and laughed at the very old and very overused joke.

  The door slammed in my face, but I was too drunk to care. Their loss at missing out on my comedic skills.

  A few minutes later, Becca got behind the wheel, and we took off.

  “You really are cute together. I’m a little jealous,” I said. I really liked Mace, but knowing there was an end to our relationship sucked.

  “You could maybe have that with Kurt or Xavier. You and Xavier looked like you were having a lot of fun tonight.”

  “We were. I could totally see us becoming good friends. I had fun. Thanks for convincing me to come.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Did you have fun?”

  “Yes. I was a little disappointed in Mace tonight though. He’s such a good student, and he seems like a nice guy.”

  My brow furrowed. “Why do you say that?” I racked my brain, trying to think of what he had done that would be disappointing.

  “Because, tonight, he was looking at you like he wanted you for dessert, and when Xavier and Kurt got there, he wasn’t very happy. I think that’s why he split so early. So much for having a girlfriend he really likes.” She shook her head. “I never took Mace for a cheater.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. If only Becca knew that I was the very girlfriend.

  I also loved knowing that Mace had been looking at me like that. It put little butterflies in my stomach.

  “Eden, it’s not funny.”

  I reached over and patted her on the cheek. “But it is.”

  She yanked her head away and swatted at my arm. “You really are drunk.”

  “Duh.”

  We pulled up to my house. I could see the flicker of the television going in my living room, and I got excited that I was going to see Mace.

  I quickly got out of the car. Or I would like to think it was quick, but my intoxicated brain had me fooled. Becca was out and around to help me before I even put a foot on the ground.

  “Come on. Let’s get you in the house.”

  “You don’t have to walk me up there. I’m fine.”

  “Eden, you are not fine.”

  Despite my buzz, I knew it wouldn’t be good for Becca to see Mace. Yet the lovely effects of alcohol had me thinking it wouldn’t be so bad for her to find out about him either.

  I pulled my keys from my purse and tried to get it in the lock a couple of times.

  “Give them to me,” Becca said and took them out of my hand.

  “Okay,” I said and leaned against the door to watch her.

  She barely got the key in the lock when the door swung open, and I literally fell into Mace’s arms.

  “Mace? What are you—”

  “Mace.” I jumped up on him, forcing him to catch me under my legs, and started kissing his neck.

  “What the fuck, Eden?” I heard Becca say from behind me.

  Uh-oh. She wasn’t happy.

  “She’s drunk?” Mace asked.

  “Yes.” Becca’s voice was tight.

  “Why don’t you come in?” I heard Mace say. “I’ll probably need your help with her anyway.”

  The door shut, and Becca tugged at my arm. “Come on, Eden.”

  I slowly slid down his body and let go. “Bye, Mace,” I said sadly, as if I were never going to see him again.

  He cupped my face and kissed me. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Becca pulled me down the hall and into my room. I started stripping off my clothes while she rummaged through my dresser. This wasn’t the first time she’d helped me get ready for bed after a night of drinking, but it had been a long time since she did it.

  I stood in the middle of my room in just a pair of underwear when Becca came over and shoved a big T-shirt over my head.

  “Ow, that hurt.” I pushed my hair out of my face.

  “So, this is why you laughed when I said I didn’t picture Mace as a cheater.”

  I laughed and hiccuped. “Guilty.”

  “How long has this been going on?”

  I stared at her, confused.

  “With Mace, Eden. How long has this been going on with Mace?”

  “Oh.” I went over to my bed and collapsed onto my back. “Since the beginning of the semester. Or maybe right before the break. I don’t know.”

  Becca looked down at me, and I looked away from her disapproving face.

  “But a while, huh?”

  “Guilty again.”

  “Eden, baby, it’s time to wake up.”

  “Oh God,” I said as I rolled over. “My head is killing me.”

  Mace chuckled. “That’s why I brought you water, painkillers, and coffee.”

  I cracked open an eyelid. “God bless you.”

  When Mace held out a hand, I let him help me into a sitting position. I took the pills and downed them with the whole glass of water.

  “Do you remember last night?”

  I winced. “Yes. Unfortunately. Is Becca mad?”

  “She’s not happy.”

  “Shit. I need to talk to her.”

  “Yeah. It probably didn’t help that you told me to hurry up and ravish you while Becca was leaving.”

  I closed my eyes and dropped my head in my hand. Ouch. The movement hurt. Now that he’d told me that, I had a vague recollection of yelling something quite loudly from the bedroom while Mace was still out in the living room. I was sure that had really impressed Becca.

  I looked up. “I didn’t really use the word ravish, did I?”

  “I’m afraid you did.” Mace chuckled.

  “Apparently, I’ve been reading too many historical romance novels.” I raised my brow. “So, did you ravish me, my lord?” I joked.

  Mace laughed. “No way. You were too drunk.”

  “Oh
, thank God, because I don’t remember us having sex.”

  “By the time I got to the bedroom, you were passed out. I tucked you in, and that was it.”

  “I need to talk to Becca.” I grabbed my coffee and took a long drink. “But, first, I need a shower.” I slowly got off the bed so as not to jar my head again.

  “Do you need help?”

  I gave him a look, and he laughed.

  “That is not a sexual innuendo. I’m seriously asking if you need help. You were wobbly on your feet last night.”

  I smiled. “No. I think I’ve got this. Thank you though.”

  I leaned over to kiss him, but Mace put a hand up, stopping my face.

  “No offense, babe, but you didn’t brush your teeth last night.”

  I straightened. “Good call.”

  I moseyed on into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and showered, taking my time. After, I went to take my morning meds and vitamins. I knew I needed something in my stomach, so I grabbed a banana. I barely finished it when I had to run to the bathroom and throw up.

  “Eden, you all right?”

  I looked up at Mace from the floor. “Yes. Just puking.” I pumped my fists in the air. “Yay, hangover.”

  “Do you want me to stay home?”

  I shook my head. “No, go to your game.”

  Mace’s baseball games were mostly on Saturdays. I’d been to a couple with Becca. The nice thing about baseball was that people weren’t obsessed with it like they were with football, so I didn’t look bad for not going.

  “I’ll be okay. I’ve been here before. I’ll feel better. I just need time.”

  He knelt down beside me. “Okay.” He kissed my forehead and was gone.

  I slowly rose from the floor and brushed my teeth again.

  I rested on the couch for a bit, but with Mace gone, I knew it was time to call Becca.

  Stalling, I tried to eat again, and this time, I successfully kept it down. But, once that was finished, my heart started to race. I couldn’t believe I was nervous about talking to my best friend. The phone rang and rang.

  No answer.

  I sent her a text, asking her to call me, and then I paced the room for ten minutes before calling again.

  Itching to speak with her now that I had gotten it in my head to do it, I decided to go to her house. It was probably better to speak in person anyway.

  I went by Becca’s and Connor’s, but Becca wasn’t at either house. I thought about driving by the baseball field, but it wasn’t a good place to have a conversation.

  I tried calling again as I drove home. This time, it rang only a couple of times and then went to voice mail. I stared at my phone in disbelief. She’d ignored my call on purpose.

  Talk about feeling like shit.

  Who ignored their friend when they wanted to tell them that they were sorry?

  You, you big dummy.

  I was suddenly overcome with guilt about not speaking to Adam for months. Oh my God, he probably hates me.

  I was such a hypocrite. I was upset at Adam for the same thing I had done to Becca. I mean, they were entirely different secrets, but I was sure Becca felt hurt. Maybe. Unless she was mad at me for breaking the rules.

  But I would have to find out later because, right now, I had something important to do.

  I raced home, chiding myself the whole way on how selfish I had been.

  When I got there, I pulled up my computer, so we could video chat because I just didn’t think that talking on the phone would do our relationship justice.

  I was just about to call him when I remembered what a wreck I was. Adam might be my ex, and he might be gay, but I was going to look halfway decent before he saw me again.

  After my shower earlier, all I had done was comb through my hair, so it had dried into a not-so-nice hairstyle. I brushed through my blonde locks and pulled the top half of my hair back in a clip.

  I put on some light makeup, so I didn’t look like someone who was hungover, and then I sat in front of my computer.

  Am I ready for this?

  As ready as I’d ever be, I guessed. This wasn’t going to get any easier.

  I pulled up Adam in my Contacts, and before I could think twice, I hit the Call button.

  My computer rang so long that I didn’t think Adam would answer, but finally, his face came up on my screen.

  “Eden?”

  I waved. “Hi.”

  He ran his hand through his blond hair. “I was worried you were never going to speak to me again.”

  I shook my head. “No way. That would never happen.” I looked down at my hands. “I just needed some time.” I looked up again. “I was really hurt when I got your letter.”

  “I’m sorry, Eden. I should have told you right away, but at first, I thought this thing with Jamie was just a fluke. Looking back, I think I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I wasn’t worried about coming out gay, but I felt like a huge piece of me, a huge part of my identity—the part where I thought I was straight—was just gone. It was easier to avoid than deal with at first. And then, after that, it seemed weird that I had kept Jamie’s gender a secret. The longer I waited, the worse it became. I’m sorry.”

  I felt like the worst friend in the world. Here I’d thought that Adam was off, being happy with Jamie, and it had never occurred to me what he must have gone through.

  “Sweetheart, are you crying?”

  I brushed my hands over my face. “I guess I am.”

  “Oh, Eden.”

  I could tell by the sound of his voice that he felt guilty.

  “No, no, no. I’m not crying for me. I’m crying for you.”

  His eyes widened. “Me?”

  “Yes. I didn’t realize that you’d probably struggled with your own identity and everything else. I’ve only been thinking of myself.”

  He smiled sympathetically. “If it helps, by the time I sent you that letter, I was in a really good place. I would have never accepted Jamie’s proposal unless I was.”

  “If I’m remembering correctly, Jamie proposed to you, right?” I asked with genuine curiosity and happiness.

  Adam laughed. “Kind of. We met Jamie’s coworker’s wife, and she asked if we were engaged. Jamie said, ‘Sure.’ I said, ‘Sure?’ Jamie asked, ‘Do you want to be engaged to me?’ I said, ‘Yes,’ and he said, ‘It looks like we’re engaged then.’”

  “That is an awesome story. Do you have rings?”

  Adam held up his left hand and wiggled his fingers. “We decided to go with thin bands for our engagement. We’ll add another band to it when we get married.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Are you really okay with this?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Yes. Adam, please know that I was never upset about you being gay. I was upset that you’d felt you had to keep it from me. And I was also upset because …” I struggled with how to explain it to him.

  “What? Tell me. Please.”

  I sighed. “You know I didn’t have a great time in high school. I always felt ugly, fat, and dorky. But then you came along and made me feel like it was okay to be me. That I was beautiful just the way I was. You were a big reason I developed so much confidence in college.”

  Adam clutched his fist to his chest.

  “But then, when I found out you were gay, all I could think was, What does he know about women being attractive? For a moment, I thought every good thought I’d had about myself was a lie.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, I wish I could be there to pull you into my arms and hug you. Also, if it helps, after a lot of soul-searching after I met Jamie, I realized that I’m bi. I’m still attracted to women just as much as men. And you, you are still beautiful, Eden Fijalkowski. I just happened to fall in love and want to spend the rest of my life with a man.”

  I was stunned. “But, in your letter to me, you specifically said gay.”

  He blew out a breath. “I know. I thought it would be easier for you to hear gay. I’ve had some people who think th
at bisexual means confused. Like, for some reason, because I still like girls, liking guys is just a fluke. So, when I’m coming out to people, I’ve started just saying that I’m gay. I see now that I should not have included you in those people.”

  I waited for his words to make me feel better about all the doubts I’d had about myself after his letter, but they didn’t. And I realized it was because I already felt good about who I was and what I looked like. Amazingly, while Adam might have helped me gain confidence, the real work had come from inside me.

  “I feel bad for you that some people want to change you.”

  He shrugged. “It sucks, but it is what it is. I’ve just had to cut some people out of my life, and it’s probably for the better.”

  “Please tell me I’m not one of those people,” I joked.

  “Never. Are you still going to be in my wedding this summer?”

  “I will, if you’ll still have me.”

  “Of course.”

  “What do I get to wear?”

  Adam laughed. “Jamie and I are still working that out. His sister is going to be his best woman. You’re going to be a groomswoman, and Jamie has one as well. We haven’t decided if we’re going to have you ladies wear dresses or tuxes.”

  “Don’t we get a vote?”

  He raised his eyebrow. “Is it your wedding?”

  “No.”

  “Then, you don’t get a vote.”

  I laughed. “I wish I could meet Jamie. Maybe we should plan to talk again later.”

  He held up a finger, telling me to hold on. “Jamie,” he called out.

  A few minutes later, a man with light-brown hair entered the picture. He looked maybe a few years older than Adam and me.

  He sat down next to Adam. “Hey, Eden. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You, too. I’m so glad I have someone to picture now, especially since I pictured you with long hair and boobs for a long time.”

  Adam looked slightly guilty, but I laughed.

  “Yeah. Adam told me all about you and the situation he put you in. Sorry about that.”

  “That’s so nice of you to say, but it’s not your fault. Adam’s a big boy. He did it all on his own.”

  Jamie threw his arm around Adam. “I like her. No wonder you dated her for so long.”