by Jet MacLeod
“Not that I can think of at the moment. If I have any questions, I’ll call you. I do know the number, you know. They’re going to be fine. You won’t’ have to worry about them at all,” Grace started and then pointed at the dogs, “Besides it already looks like they are getting along.”
“What about the lake?” Danica asked.
“They have to get past the fence first. So, that shouldn’t be a problem. Anything else that you think I should know before you go?” Grace inquired.
“Nope, but I think that you want to tell more about Reagan, don’t you?” Danica asked.
“Not really,” Grace said.
“I don’t believe you. You want to talk about it. I can see it in your face. Something is bothering you about her and you don’t know what it is. So, why don’t you just say something about it?” Danica questioned.
“Because there is nothing to say,” Grace stated.
“If you say so, kid, but I have seen the way you look at her and the way that she looks at you. There is definitely something there. I just wish you would talk about it before you do something stupid to lose it. By the way, that isn’t an order, Grace, but a suggestion.”
“I’ll take that under consideration,” Grace said.
“You do that, and when you are ready to talk, you know how to get in touch with me. I might not be gay, Grace, but I still have an ear that can listen and a shoulder if you need it. Just don’t forget that you do have friends that care about you, very much,” Danica stated, standing.
“I’ll keep that in mind, if ever I need you,” Grace told her, “Now, go have fun on your vacation. Where are you going anyway?”
“Vegas,” Danica answered, walking out of the yard.
“Figures, she goes to Vegas and leaves the mutts with me. Well, come on kids, let’s go inside and see if Little Bit is awake, yet, shall we?” Grace asked the wagging tails of the dogs as she went back up into the house, “Well, I guess y’all want to stay outside and play. That’s fine with me. Play until your hearts are content.”
Grace shook her head as the three dogs continued to play. She laughed at the sight of Max chasing the bigger Buddy around the yard, but she was glad. Max needed the exercise since she was focused on the case more and not spending quality time with him when she got off of work. She was just glad that Max could be so happy with the addition of another dog.
She made her way into the kitchen and glanced at the clock. It was about ten. She wondered if she should get Reagan up or let her sleep a little more. She finally decided that letting Reagan sleep was in Reagan’s best interest. She didn’t want to upset her, especially when Reagan looked so cute sleeping and the fact that Grace knew that Reagan hadn’t been sleeping well.
Gracie went into the kitchen. She wasn’t hungry but she decided to make some sandwiches. She decided that she wanted to make something for lunch. Grace wanted to take Reagan to the river. It was a nice day. It would be a perfect day just to relax by the water with Reagan and eat sandwiches.
Grace was digging through the fridge trying to decide what kind of sandwiches she was going to make. She pulled out the mayo, mustard, some lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and some different kinds of meat. She didn’t know what kind of meat that Reagan liked so she decided to just make what she called Gracie Clubs. They consisted of two pieces of bread with a light spread of mayo and mustard, and covered with cheese. Then she would add a layer of roast beef, a layer of turkey and then a layer of ham. Next, Grace would add lettuce and tomato. The top piece of bread with its spread of mayo and its layer of cheese was put on top of the other piece covered with its layers of meat, lettuce, and tomato.
She stopped rifling through the fridge when she heard something in the kitchen behind her. Gracie turned around and found Reagan was there. She arched an eyebrow and smiled.
“Good morning,” Grace told her.
“Morning,” Reagan replied.
“Sleep well?” Gracie asked.
“Yes, I did. I found it odd that I woke up here, though. I thought that you were going to spend the night at my house and not me here. But, it doesn’t matter. I slept very well, thank you,” Reagan answered.
“Sorry about that, but you fell asleep here, so I didn’t feel like waking you.”
“Well, I guess I should thank you for that. I did actually sleep through the night. So, how did I end up upstairs in the bed?” Reagan asked.
“Well, I went upstairs to get something to sleep in and some clothes for tomorrow, well today. And, you had fallen asleep on the couch. I came downstairs and you were out. I picked you up and took you upstairs to bed. I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t see the sense in waking you just to take you home,” Grace said.
“I understand that. Thank you for your continued hospitality. So, what’s all this?”
“Lunch?” Grace offered.
“Lunch?”
“Yeah, I wanted to go to the river downtown today. It is a nice day. I like going to the river. It is so much more different than the lake. I decided to make sandwiches for lunch so we could go to the river, relax and have lunch. You want to go?” Grace asked.
“Sure?”
“You don’t sound so sure about that answer.”
“It isn’t that I don’t want to go with you. I do. It is just that I have someone that I need to go see,” Reagan said.
“Oh,” Grace stated, obviously disappointed.
“Listen, I have an appointment with a client late this afternoon. It is a very important meeting for me. It was the reason that I needed some sleep. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you about it last night, but it didn’t seem important at the time. Maybe we can do the river thing another time,” Reagan suggested.
“That’s an idea.”
“Wait, that was too easy. What’s going on, Grace? You aren’t going to fight with me about this. You aren’t going to throw a tantrum because you didn’t get your way. What’s wrong? And, just whose dogs are those outside?” Reagan questioned.
“Those are Danica’s dogs. She is going to Vegas and needed someone to watch her dogs. She asked and I offered, so they’re here.”
“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain anything to me,” Reagan stated.
“Sorry, I just wanted to spend time with you today. I even made sandwiches,” Grace said, almost childlike, “But, I understand. Work comes before play. Even, I understand that. It was the reason that I choose not to use my trust fund and I joined the Army.”
“But, what about the house?” Reagan questioned.
“It was the only time that I used the trust fund and it was because I wanted this house. It was the only way that I could get enough money together to buy it out right and not have to deal with my father every month. It is also the reason that I put a little bit of my check into a 401k, retirement and back into my trust fund. I don’t plan on working forever. But, when I do decide not to work anymore, I want to be able to play anyway I want to, however I want to and how long I want to without any worries about it,” Grace added.
“Ah,” Reagan answered, “Well, I have to go. I’ll call you later. We’ll do something later.”
Chapter Twenty
Reagan walked into her Grandmother’s house. She saw Catherine sitting in front of the TV engrossed in some show. She walked through the house into the kitchen and found her grandmother in there, pulling out a fresh batch of cookies. She sat down at the table and found out how much she missed her grandmother’s cooking.
“Hey, Grandma,” Reagan said.
“Hello, Reagan, my dear, what brings you here?”
“I just needed to get out of the city for a while. It was getting to be too much. Plus, I wanted to see Catherine, but I see that she is happy with her TV show. Those cookies look wonderful,” Reagan told her.
“Uh huh,” her grandmother stated.
“What?” Reagan questioned.
“There is something else that is bothering you. You didn’t just drive an hour to come home for some cookies. Tell me w
hat is really bothering you,” she said.
“It is just…”
“You’ve fallen for someone, haven’t you?” she asked Reagan.
“I think I have. It might be too late. I don’t know what to do. I just had to get away for a while. It was becoming way too intense for me,” Reagan answered.
“Well, now, I guess I can’t hope that this person is a man, so I won’t. I hope that she is treating you right and taking care of you. If she is doing that, then there is nothing that you need to fear,” her grandmother answered.
“I know that, Grandma. It is just who she is that scares me. I don’t know how to think when I am around her. It is just that I want to lose myself when I am with her. I want to surrender to her strength, to her offerings of love, to her,” Reagan told her.
“So, what’s so wrong with that?”
“Everything,” Reagan answered.
“And, why, child, is that?”
“Because, it is Grace,” Reagan replied.
“Grace? Grace, who?” Reagan’s grandmother asked.
“Gracie Lynn O’Shea.”
“Padrick’s daughter? Well, you could do worse. I guess if you were going to fall in love with a woman, it would be preferable to be a rich one. So, what is so wrong with Grace?”
“She is a stuck up rich kid. She is the one who treated me like a freak in high school. She is the one that I took home after her night of rage drinking, a strip tease on my bar and then hatred that followed. How can I love her?” Reagan questioned.
“With you heart, Reagan, it is the only way you know how. She is more than that kid from high school. She is more than the woman from your bar who got drunk. She is the one that you care for. She is the one that will protect you. She is the one that cares for you. What else do you need from her? What else do you need from yourself?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just don’t know,” Reagan said, getting quieter with each sentence.
Her grandmother handed her a big glass of milk and a few cookies. She sat down at the table with Reagan. She didn’t know how to comfort her granddaughter. She couldn’t understand the pain that she was going through. She’d never loved a woman. She didn’t understand the emotional conflicts that faced Reagan, especially when it came to Grace. She knew how much Reagan cared for Grace. If Grace cared for Reagan half as much as Reagan cared for her, then she knew that Grace loved Reagan. She could only hope that Reagan would allow Grace to love her and not dwell on issues from the past. It would ruin Reagan if she couldn’t learn to trust her heart and love Grace.
“Sounds like you are afraid to love, child. I don’t think it has anything to do with Grace, but with yourself, Reagan. I think you are afraid of letting go.”
“That may be true, Grandma, but I just can’t surrender to her like that. I have to think about Catherine and how this will affect her. I can’t just go into this blind,” Reagan said.
“Then, darling, you know nothing of love.”
Grace sat on her dock overlooking the lake. She had a sandwich in one hand and her cell phone in the other. She stared at her cell phone, waiting. She was waiting for Reagan to call her. She was desperate for Reagan to call her. She had barely touched her sandwich. Buddy, Max and Mischa were waiting to see if they would get to finish it for Grace. She almost dropped it down for them to eat.
Grace didn’t like the fact that she was pining over Reagan. It meant that her defenses were down and Reagan was getting too close. She wondered if she could stop it, now, if she tried. She wondered if she wanted to. Grace ate the sandwich, but not because she was hungry, but because she didn’t want to want Reagan so much.
It was too much too fast. The want that grew inside was quickly becoming a raging inferno and a fire that Grace didn’t think that she could control. She didn’t know how long she would be able to hold herself back. She didn’t know how far she’d already fallen, but she wasn’t sure that she was ready to test the limits with Reagan, either.
Chapter Twenty-One
Grace was tired of waiting on Reagan. She went up to her room and fell asleep as soon as her back hit the mattress. She couldn’t ever remember being so tired. Not even through all of her training to be a police officer did she ever feel that tired. She hoped that she wasn’t getting sick. She would hate to miss work and she didn’t want feelings for Reagan to begin to cloud her judgment when it came to work. Somewhere in her sleep, Grace decided that she needed to back off a little bit. She needed time to think. She needed time to adjust everything.
Grace awoke tired. It was like her mind had been racing all night and she slept fitfully. She hated the feeling, but she didn’t know how to make it go away. She fought her way into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of Mountain Dew. She hoped that the drink would revive her, wake her and her senses.
She sat the glass down on the counter, ready for another, but unable to make herself do it. She stared at the glass as it sat on the counter. She wished for another fiery liquid to fill the glass but remembered how much trouble it caused her last time she succumbed to the temptation of the bottle.
She meandered her way onto her back porch and watched the pups playing in the yard. Grace immediately began to relax. She had to admit that the site of the dogs playing together made her feel almost whole again. It was something that she didn’t understand. She enjoyed watching Max, Buddy, and Mischa playing. It was playful and childlike in its simplicity. It reminded Grace of the innocence of children, the naivety of the unknown, and pleasure of never worrying about the world at large. She wished that she could be like that again. She wished that she didn’t know the cruelty and horrors of the world. She wished that for Reagan, as well.
Grace sat back in her chair and smiled. Even when she didn’t want to, lately, she always came back to Reagan. Grace didn’t know what to do about it. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, either. She was still hung up on the fact that Reagan just left her to go away to some client’s for the weekend. It grated on her. Grace couldn’t understand why it upset her so much.
Reagan had come earlier that day. She saw that Grace was on her back porch watching the dogs play. Grace obviously had a lot on her mind and Reagan didn’t want to disturb Grace. It took everything that Reagan had not to run over to Grace. She didn’t know why, but it seemed like Grace didn’t want her. It was like Grace was mad at her and she couldn’t fathom why. She didn’t want to believe that Grace was mad at her for leaving. She didn’t want to tell Gracie about Catherine yet. She wasn’t sure how she would take it. She wasn’t sure she was ready to open herself up like that to Grace.
Reagan knew from the look on Grace’s face that she was going to have to be the one that would have to make the peace offering. She decided that she would have to go to Grace. Reagan didn’t want to see Gracie in pain. She was the one that had somehow hurt Grace and now she would have to fix the situation.
Reagan walked through the yard towards Grace, still sitting on the porch. She smiled at Grace when Grace looked up at her. Reagan saw the look on Grace’s face. Grace didn’t look too happy to see Reagan. In fact, Grace looked pissed.
“Hello,” Reagan said.
“Hi,” Grace answered.
“What are you doing?” Reagan asked.
“Just chillin’ while the dogs play in the yard. So, I am guessing everything went well with your appointment this weekend. What are you doing?”
“I was coming to see you. I hope that is okay. I don’t want to upset any of your plans. I was just hoping that you and I could talk about Friday morning,” Reagan said.
“Alright,” Grace said, gesturing to the seat beside her.
“Thank you,” Reagan said.
They sat there, next to each other, in silence. Reagan sat there smiling and Grace sat there with almost a scowl across her face. Grace looked amazing even when she was mad and it was unnerving to Reagan. She couldn’t believe that she still wanted Grace, even when Grace was angry with her. Reagan turned in her chair and took
Grace’s hand. Grace turned her attention to the smaller, more delicate hand that held hers.
“Grace?”
“What?” she hissed.
“What’s wrong? Did you have a bad day at work? Did I do something?”
“No,” Grace answered.
“Then why do you look so mad?”
“Just ‘cause.”
“Gracie, talk to me. Please. What’s wrong?” Reagan
asked.
“Nothing. It’s nothing. Can’t I just be mad, if I want to?” Grace questioned.
“I guess, but it isn’t like you. I like it when you smile. I know it isn’t that hard, because you smile at me, a lot. I was just wondering what got you all in a tizzy,” Reagan stated.
“I don’t think that you really want to know that, at this moment.”
“Why not?” Reagan asked.
“Reagan, please, just not right now.”
“Gracie Lynn O’Shea, what the hell is wrong with you? You are acting like you are mad at me. I don’t know what I did, but I am sorry. I don’t want you to be made at me. I couldn’t take it. Please, just talk to me. Tell me what I did,” Reagan begged.
“You left, okay? Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted?” Grace asked.
“Well, yes and no. I had to go. I had things to do. I am sorry that messed up your plans for us on Friday. I had to go. I had things to do with my family. I had to see my Grandma after I got done with my appointments with work. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Grace, you have to believe that,” Reagan stated.
“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. It is just that I thought I had everything planned out so perfectly and then everything came crashing down. I don’t like surprises too much. They upset me, make me mad, as you can see,” Grace said, truthfully.
