by Noah Harris
Dante closed his eyes, willing his body to calm itself, even as he was all too aware of Apollo so close to him. His lips were somehow both numb and tingling at the absence of Apollo’s lips on his. It had been everything he’d ever dreamed it would be, and then even greater than that. All his unspoken dreams, the fantasies he allowed himself when he was alone. For one moment, the pangs in his heart as he watched Apollo smile, Apollo laugh, Apollo staring into the distance thoughtfully and impossibly handsome, had finally been eased.
“Yeah, as pissed as Father is going to be about us getting sealed off, he’d be even more pissed if we went and got buried alive,” Dante said slowly.
Apollo chuckled, patting Dante’s stomach as he pushed to his feet. “We’ll deal with Samuel when we get back.”
It would have been too easy to believe nothing had happened from the casual way Apollo sounded. Dante wasn’t blind though, and he could see the happiness beaming out from Apollo’s eyes as he looked around the small pocket they were sealed in. That one moment had been the realization of something in Apollo that Dante both understood and yet found himself lost with.
The kiss had been exactly what Dante had wanted, and the happiness on Apollo’s face should have brought him happiness. Instead, he felt a pit open up in his gut, threatening to drag his heart down with it.
“You got an idea of how we’re going to get out of here?” Apollo asked, looking down at Dante with perfect trust.
Dante nodded, forcing a confident smile on his face. “I think I have an idea or two. It might take us a couple of hours, but if we’re careful, and the universe doesn’t hate us, we’ll get out.”
“Then let’s get to it,” Apollo said, turning his glowing eyes on the wall of collapsed rocks.
Dante nodded, heart sinking. In attaining something he had wanted for so long, Dante had allowed himself a moment of weakness. He’d always known about his feelings, but had always known they could not be realized, should not be realized.
The kiss should never have happened.
Chapter 8 – Apollo
~~*~~
It turned out that the original assessment of how long it would take them to get free of the cave-in had been a bit of an underestimate. It had taken them hours to move the rocks and dirt around enough for them to create a large enough hole for them to crawl through.
The majority of their time and conversation had been focused on trying to carefully maneuver the pile of debris away for them to fit through the gap. Thankfully, the batteries on the flashlights were resilient and had held out as they toiled for hours. Apollo had been a little amazed at the tiny thing’s lifespan but was glad they weren’t left to sit around in complete darkness as they tried to work.
Plus, it had given him the chance to keep his eyes on Dante.
“For someone who’s never been much of a spelunker, you certainly know your way out of a cave-in,” Apollo joked as they neared the end of their work.
Dante snorted, turning the flashlight to eye their progress. “I said I wasn’t much of a spelunker, never said I hadn’t been buried under shit before.”
It was said in such an offhand fashion, but Apollo felt another bubble of rage boil up within his chest. He both could and couldn’t believe that Samuel would willingly send Dante off on his own into danger constantly. Apollo knew damn well that Dante was a capable person, and probably had more skills than Apollo would ever know. The fact of the matter was, Samuel had always professed that they were a family and that they all needed to work together. Yet with Dante, he had willingly forced the man to work alone, without so much as a single member of their family or pack at Dante’s back.
Apollo understood the necessity for it; he wasn’t so blind as to think that every problem The Grove might have would be solved by open communication or upfront battle. He just couldn’t stand the fact that Dante was the one who always had to deal with things on his own.
Yes, in many ways, that was just how Dante was, and Apollo admired the sort of strength and determination it required to face your problems alone. Apollo had been drifting for months, wondering how he was going to manage to get through life without his twin at his side at all times, helping him, motivating him, lifting him when no one else even knew he needed the help. Dante had been on his own, both by choice and circumstance, for far too long, and Apollo had had enough of it.
Dante carefully moved one more hunk of stone and dirt to the side. “Alright, I think that’s the best we’re going to get. It’s going to be a tight squeeze.”
Apollo eyed the hole warily, knowing his bulk would have a difficult time getting through. It had been horrifying trying to get through the hole he’d created to get to Dante, but he’d barely paid attention to the fear in the face of his pinned and helpless friend. The new hole they’d created was certainly bigger than the last, but Apollo knew if he wiggled too much, he could bring the whole thing down, and possibly more of the ceiling with it.
“Not to cast a shadow on all the work we’ve managed so far, but how sure are we that there aren’t more blockages further ahead?” Apollo asked.
Dante’s grimace cast a deep shadow over his face. “I didn’t want to think too hard about it, but it’s a possibility. If that happens, we’ll just need to take a break and start all over again on the next one.”
Apollo considered asking what they would do if they couldn’t get through another blockage but held his tongue. They were a long way underground, with an entire mountain over their head. The last thing he needed was for either of them to think too hard about what would happen if they found themselves trapped.
“One problem at a time?” Apollo asked.
Dante flashed the light toward their makeshift hole. “That’s how I get through every day of my life.”
Considering the occasional flash of something hidden and painful Apollo had spotted on Dante’s face in the past, he didn’t think that was necessarily true. Then again, those were moments when Dante was at rest, without danger or a mission staring him in the face and demanding his attention. Perhaps it was the quiet which truly haunted Dante, leaving him at the mercy of his thoughts as he stared down the barrel of the past.
Maybe now, Apollo could help a little with that.
“How are we going to go about this?” Apollo asked.
“You first,” Dante said without hesitation.
Apollo raised a brow. “Am I your test dummy, or are you trying to get me through first for one of your noble reasons?”
“I don’t do noble; it just makes sense that you go first,” Dante replied.
Apollo might have believed him, except he could see the flush creeping its way back into Dante’s face as he protested. For all his capability at hiding his true emotions behind a mask of indifference and attitude, Apollo was glad to see the mask wasn’t impenetrable. He wasn’t sure if it was just because Dante wasn’t used to people calling out the better side of him that he so desperately concealed, or if it was just an effect Apollo had.
It was hard not to kiss Dante again as he watched the man struggle to get his blushing under control. In the first steps of their attempts to extract themselves, Apollo had found Dante’s swollen lips and still flushed face incredibly distracting. Even hours later, Apollo could still feel Dante’s mouth against his, and the greedy, needful press of Dante’s body up into his.
Dante cocked his head. “So, uh, you going to go or are you going to stand there and make fun of me some more?”
Apollo shook himself, turning to the hole. “I can do both.”
“Focus on getting your big ass through to the other side, then you can mock me when I’m going through,” Dante grunted.
Chuckling, Apollo assessed the hole. Facing it head-on, he realized it seemed a whole lot smaller than he’d originally thought. Shaking his head, telling himself he wasn’t going to let his fear get the better of him; Apollo steeled himself.
Dante’s hand came to rest on his lower back. Apollo turned, looking down into Dante’s under
standing gaze and warm smile.
“Focus on one thing at a time. Everything else can wait,” Dante said, voice low and calm.
Apollo nodded, taking a deep breath and bending forward so he could begin the journey. In truth, the hole was a small tunnel they had carefully dug out to only about a foot long. Taking Dante’s advice and putting it at the forefront of his mind, Apollo pushed his head through the hole. The next step required him to twist his upper body, pushing one shoulder through, with the other following. It was an awkward angle, and he wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d been required to go through a tunnel longer than just a foot.
Allowing himself a small breath of relief, Apollo’s upper body emerged on the other side. He heard a skittering as a shower of pebbles rained down around him. Panic clawed at his chest, and he clamped down on it before it could rear up and take control of him. Forcing himself to move very carefully, focusing on one action at a time, he shimmied forward until he could finally draw his legs out of the hole and plant them on the solid ground.
“Knew you could do it,” Dante said, his illuminated face peering through the hole with a grin.
Apollo snorted, shaking his head. “Hand me the flashlights.”
Dante did so just before pushing himself through the hole. The tracker wasn’t nearly as bulky as Apollo, and he was able to squeeze his way through without having to contort his upper body in the process. Dante moved carefully, however, in no rush to push his way through and risk causing another collapse.
Both of them froze as a rumble echoed its way up the tunnel, Dante’s eyes going wide. “Uhh…”
When Apollo heard the horrifyingly familiar cracking noise, he dove forward. “Screw that.”
Taking hold of Dante’s wrists, Apollo yanked him out of the small hole with all his adrenaline-fueled strength. Dante shot out of the hole, his legs flailing and knocking loose one of the stones of the collapsed tunnel. The hole crumbled almost instantly, spilling several pounds of earth and rocks onto the floor around their feet.
Dante stumbled to his feet, arms still held by Apollo as he looked at the now filled hole. “Holy shit, Apollo.”
Apollo winced. “I panicked.”
“Yeah, I see that.”
“I thought it was going to collapse on you.”
Dante snorted. “And managed to make part of it collapse in the process.”
“I would say I’m sorry, but that’s a lie. If getting you out meant you didn’t get crushed by the tunnel, then I was willing to take the risk.”
“I guess I have been buried under enough rocks today,” Dante admitted.
Despite feeling a little sheepish over his reaction, Apollo settled on just being glad they were through the worst of it. Now all that was left was to make their way to the surface and hope that the passage wasn’t blocked further. Apollo didn’t care if it was night or day out; he would take a bit of natural light and the open sky above.
Dante took one of the flashlights. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. If I don’t ever have to see another underground anything again, it’ll be too soon.”
“Just make sure to pass that along to Samuel,” Apollo said, following after him.
“I’ll see if I can weave it in among trying to tell him we didn’t find anything out here because we almost got buried alive,” Dante snorted.
Apollo hesitated. “I…might have.”
Dante stopped, eyeing him. “Like?”
“Well, right before the tunnel collapsed, I think I saw a light.”
“A light.”
“A blue light.”
Dante paled. “Like, the light of those goddamn crystals?”
Apollo thought about it, trying to pick that one moment in time from the terror and chaos of the tunnel’s collapse. In truth, he couldn’t be completely sure what he’d seen. Yes, he very well could have seen a light, and it was possible it had been the very same light of the crystals Damien had been using to corrupt the shamans. It was also possible, Apollo knew, that his fear-filled mind had simply tricked him into seeing the light and the color, drawing upon the memories of that horrible first trip into the bowels of the mountain.
“I would be lying if I said I was completely confident in what I think I saw,” Apollo admitted.
Dante frowned. “You’re not one to just see things, that’s more Lucille’s thing.”
“I’m also not one to have part of a mountain come crashing down on my head either. Who knows what your mind makes up in moments like that.”
Dante nodded wearily. “Still, we should probably report that to Father when we get back. He’ll want to know anything and everything that happened and what we saw.”
Apollo considered making a joke about telling their alpha about their shared kiss. The tired expression on Dante’s face made him keep his peace, however. There would be plenty of time for them to discuss what had happened between the two of them once they made camp and had some food in their stomachs. Maybe there would even be time for Apollo to find out just what kind of noises Dante could really make when pressed.
“Let’s just get out of here. I would say that we should make as much progress as we can, but I don’t think either of us is going to make it more than a mile before we drop,” Apollo offered.
Dante snorted. “Then let’s make it half a mile, and we can set up camp. He won’t be expecting us for a few more days anyway.”
It was hopefully all the time he would need.
Chapter 9 – Dante
~~*~~
Lying out on a patch of nice ground, Dante let out a low groan. His entire body felt like one huge muscle that refused to do anything but ache. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d worked himself until they started making the trek back through the forest headed toward The Grove. In all honesty, he was surprised they’d managed to make it the half mile Dante had suggested before their weariness got the better of them.
“Going to make it?” Apollo asked
Dante looked up from where he’d planted his face in the grass. “I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but I don’t have the energy for that much anger.”
Apollo slumped against a rock, planting his butt firmly on the ground. “I think I’ll wait for someone else to do it instead, it’s more fun that way.”
Dante blinked at him, a tremor of excitement and fear running through him. He knew a casual flirt when he heard one, and part of him crowed in victory that Apollo was aiming it his way. In all his years of dreaming and pining, he had never thought he’d actually hear Apollo come onto him, even in an offhand way.
Clamping down on his emotions, Dante grunted. “We probably should make a fire before it gets too dark to see anything without flashlights.”
Apollo groaned. “You want me to move?”
Ignoring the shiver that ran through him at the low noise from Apollo’s lips, Dante pushed himself off the ground. In truth, Apollo had done most of the heavy lifting during the excavating process and deserved more of a rest than Dante did. Plus, it gave him a chance to clear his head of any wayward thoughts and feelings. Ignoring the desire to crawl over to Apollo and kiss him soundly, Dante made his way into the forest to begin scavenging firewood.
Apollo was all Dante had ever wanted in both a friend and a partner. He was faithful and true, he took Dante in his stride and even appreciated him for who he was, no matter how grumpy or surly he could be. When push came to shove, Dante knew Apollo always had his back, watching carefully for any sign of danger. Apollo’s heart was always in the right place, and he would give life and limb to keep others safe. He was honest, forthright, and thoughtful, all the things Dante never was and never would be.
And Apollo deserved better.
Apollo had taken the first step in kissing Dante, daring to do something he had never dared risk doing himself. Dante couldn’t help but envy the boldness Apollo had shown in that one moment. If only he could pay Apollo’s bravery back in a way that was befitting of the man. Instead, he would have to settle
for giving Apollo the real truth, and how impossible anything more between them really was.
By the time he returned to their camp, Dante’s feet felt as heavy as his heart. Apollo was wide awake, lounging comfortably against the rock still, his eyes locked on Dante as he approached. Dante wasn’t sure if the kiss had altered Apollo, or if he was simply seeing things differently. Either way, he felt more self-conscious under his friend’s intense gaze as Dante busied himself with first digging the pit for the fire, then stacking the firewood over the kindling.
“Tired?” Apollo finally asked.
Dante frowned down at the small flame, coaxing it to grow with more kindling. “I’m exhausted. Why?”
“You’re quiet.”
Dante snorted, nudging more kindling into the fire. “Isn’t that something people normally say to you? They normally want me to shut the hell up.”
“I don’t.”
Dante sighed. “I know.”
“This is about…the kiss, isn’t it?” Apollo asked softly.
“Yes,” Dante whispered, throat threatening to close.
“I went too far,” Apollo said.
Dante turned to him, frowning. “You did what you felt was best.”
“But it wasn’t the best, was it?” Apollo asked.
God, it had been the best kiss Dante had ever experienced in a decade and a half of kissing people. Dante didn’t have to think hard as he ran over the dozens of men and women he’d been with over the years, not one of them compared to Apollo. There had been pleasure in the others of course, and there had even been a few who were notably more fun than the rest. Yet not one of them could stack up, even combined, with the sheer pleasure that had shot through him when Apollo’s mouth and body pressed against his own.
Oh, it was the best, and that was the problem.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you back,” Dante said, the truth coming from him easier than he thought it would.
Apollo straightened. “What?”
Dante forced himself to look Apollo in the eye. “Because you and I…can’t be a thing.”
