Max kept his distance as he raked his hair back off his face. An awkward moment lingered between us as every expectation I had of him being angry dissolved. My mouth sped dry, and I suddenly became aware of how badly I needed to swallow.
“I’m so sorry—I never asked Camille to come here. She had no right to do that,” Max said. His magnetic green eyes constricted, his feet cemented to the space he stood, and his knees bent like he wanted to run to me. I stood, waiting to hear if his words were going to bridge the empty space between us or desecrate the moments we’d created. His fingertips glowed white as he pressed them against his flannelled chest.
“I should never have let you leave that morning—I shouldn’t have let Nick drive away with you. I let you down, I’m sorry.” He took a step toward me as he reached out.
I whispered softly as I looked down at the floor between us. I didn’t want to see the pain in his face. “Camille came here to convince me to come back to you. It took everything I had—to leave. You were so—defeated. You’d just lost your dad, your mom rejected us…and I got scared because of our lie, Max.”
He took another step toward me. I kept looking at the floor. He didn’t stop looking at me, like he was studying every curve and bump of my existence. My heart thundered in my chest.
“Maybe your mom’s right,” I continued, “You don’t need this right now; you have so much at stake—your family, their reputation, and your career. I never really considered the consequences of lying, especially to your mom.” I threw out every word I could to stop him from coming closer to me. I crossed my arms against my chest. I didn’t want any more of my heart to pour out of the gaping hole created by our mistakes.
“None of that matters to me,” Max said, taking another step closer; he was breathing distance away. I could smell the faint residue of Aspen across his clothes. Immediately, the scent made me think about what had happened with Nick. He reached out to hold me; I took a step back. I had to make this moment about him.
“It should, Max. Your family should be the most important thing in your life.” I looked into his dark green eyes. I wanted him to know how serious I was.
He shook his head and took another step toward me. Every step I tried to take away from him, he filled in with another step toward me, until he had me backed against the wall. I pressed harder, trying to stay as solid as I could.
He reached out to touch me, and automatically, I pushed his hand away. I had to stay strong. I couldn’t let him change what I thought was the right thing to do.
“No, Max, I won’t be the one to come between you and your family. I can’t—please understand,” I forced out the words that cut across the lining of my throat.
I watched Max’s eyes flare with every ounce of his essence as he drew in a long, aching, growl-filled breath.
“Don’t—do—this—not this way. This isn’t about what anyone else wants. Wilson, you brought me back from a very dark place. Can’t you see that? I love you,” his voice broke to a whisper.
“Max—”
“Shhh, don’t—” he breathed as his glossy green eyes read every unspoken word I struggled to say.
His hands filled the air between us as he brushed his palms against the damp sides of my face. His long fingers cleared the loose curls from around my eyes before he pressed his fingertips against the back of my neck. My skin, so hot from his touch, responded as his eyes danced and tangled with mine in the hope that he could convince me that we were worth fighting for. I felt my butterflies cluster down in my stomach as time swirled between us. Forever existed in that moment, and tortured me into longing to taste him. The muscles in his jaw constricted as his silken lips parted. His mouth tickled softly against my lips before he pushed harder. Our tongues entwined and our desires opened to what we’d missed for several days. He tasted every moment I missed him, every second I longed to be with him again. My hands clung to the sleeves of his flannel shirt. He drew away just enough to smile before he rushed back. His kiss was refreshing; as good as my favorite ice cream flavor. He caught my bottom lip between his teeth as I licked at the curve of his mouth. I pressed back into him and his flavor ignited sparks across my tongue. Every last one of my butterflies migrated to every crevice of my body. Every bend, turn and roundabout marked their flight pattern.
The tip of his nose traced across my cheek as his words clung to my hair. His breath sent chills down my spine.
“I will never hurt you ever again—I promise. I love you, Wilson,” Max cooed as he pressed his lips to my temple; I shivered down to my toes.
“I love you too,” I whispered. I felt his arms tighten around my back as he kissed the space between my collarbone and the bend of my neck. I felt rescued in his embrace; like I’d finally made it home again. I’d missed him like crazy. After everything he’d created for me, I truly knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I swam in his arms as I warmed to his body temperature. I felt him exhale as his lips rested against my temple.
When the front door slammed and I heard Cindy call out to Nick, every muscle in my body grew rigid. Reactively, I tried to push Max away.
“Hey, where is—what the hell is going on?” Cindy’s harsh voice scraped and scratched across every wall and ceiling in the house, her eyes wicked and narrow as she walked in on Max still holding me. Her expression was smarmy; she finally had her proof that Wesley’s government teacher, Maximillian Goldstein, was in love with her roommate.
“I frickin’ knew it! O.M.G., Wilson’s banging her government teacher. What a surprise! Well, actually not really. Discretion doesn’t seem to be your strong suit—but wow, Mr. Goldstein. And bravo, Wilson, I can’t believe you were able to pull it off,” Cindy spouted as she walked toward us clapping. “You are such a fucking piece of work,” she screamed.
“Hey that’s enough, Cindy,” Max roared as he took a step in front of me.
“Oh puh-leeze, get over yourself. Did you really think I wasn’t fully aware that you two were sleeping together? Who doesn’t know? Let me help you out. Lesson one: delete text messages after you read them. Lesson two: don’t leave your phone where people can get it. And lesson three: learn to have a poker face when you’re accused of fucking your government teacher. It’s written all over your face, Wilson,” Cindy smirked. She cocked her head and examined her fingernails before she tossed a nasty look at me.
“You’ve crossed the line,” Max growled.
“Isn’t that brilliant coming from you? Shall we talk about boundaries and crossing lines, or do they not apply to you?” Cindy prodded Max. “I mean how is this going to go over with Dean McCallous when she finds out her prized government teacher at Wesley Academy is screwing one of the students?”
I felt Max’s arm loosen from my waist. His body leaned forward.
“Knock it off, Cindy,” I snapped. I was geared up to fight for Max. Every tooth and nail would be sacrificed if need be. Suddenly, without thinking, I lunged at Cindy; she leapt back. I guess I was done playing nice. The rest of my life was on the line and I wasn’t going to let this spoiled bitch screw it up.
Max thrust his arms back, trapping me behind him. He turned around and got in my face, his forest green eyes fervently searching for my attention. “Wilson…look at me,” he held my face between his hands, our eyes clinging to one another, “All that matters is that…I love you, and nobody can take that away,” he said as he pressed his scorching hand against my chest. My heart beat spastically with his touch.
“Max…” I whispered, my eyes splashed with tears.
“Listen, I came here this evening to bring you home with me. Will you come with me?” he asked as his fingers cleared the tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Oh my God,” Cindy steamed.
I heard the door crash against the wall and the three of us turned to see Joanie and Nick at the door.
“Cindy, come on, time to leave,” Nick demanded, his breathing hurried like he’d run up a flight of stairs.
Her eyes bounced between Nick, Max, and me, her body heaving, as she answered Nick’s request.
“I’m not going anywhere, this is my house.” Cindy pressed her pointer finger to her chest as she jutted her hip out and forced her fist against it. I saw the gears in her head spinning and noticed the look on her face as she pieced together the fact that Max had no clue about Nick and me kissing.
“I think it’s best if you and I leave. Come on,” Nick insisted as he walked over and attempted to grab Cindy’s arm. I was praying that Nick was going to be able to get Cindy to leave before she blurted out information better left unsaid.
“Let go of me. I can walk out by myself. Just like our very own Wilson is walking out on you, Nick,” Cindy snarled as she pulled her arm out of her brother’s grasp.
I felt the weight of Max’s body pull away from mine as he took a couple of steps toward them. “I’m sorry, what did she just say?” he asked quizzically. Nick glared at Cindy before his eyes met mine. My stomach turned inside out and every belief I had in Max and me lasting beyond her words, exploded.
“Nothin’,” Cindy spat.
“No, that wasn’t nothing—what did it mean?” Max demanded. He turned and looked at Nick before he followed Nick’s stare to mine. Max’s earthy green eyes were weighty under his dark, furrowed eyebrows as he looked at me determinedly.
Cindy realized she had Nick and I caught in a predicament. Suddenly she had the upper hand in the situation, and she used the moment to play her wicked game with us.
“Well, I didn’t mean much by it other than the fact that, suddenly, you show up here and want to take Wilson away…from…us…” Cindy swung her arm around to indicate the “us” she was talking about was Joanie, Nick, and her.
The thick air licked at me and encouraged the perspiration to push through my pores. I couldn’t find my voice to stop Max from grabbing at anything to help him understand what Cindy was saying. I knew Max could tell something was up. He turned and looked at me squarely in the eyes.
“What’s she talking about, Wilson? What’s going on?” Max asked, more forceful than before, as he searched every line of my expression.
I froze and I couldn’t breathe. How was I going to tell him about kissing Nick? Especially after I’d struggled with it and worked out that it was better not to tell him yet. But I couldn’t keep it in any longer; I gave up. I had a monkey on my back, a betrayal that ran deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced before, and it wasn’t going to go away easily.
I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I love you. You are my everything.” I swallowed. As the next part began to come out of my mouth, my eyes dropped and became plastered to the floor.
“When I left you at your house, I was scared. I was hurt, and very confused. I’ve never experienced a family like yours before. They were accepting of me and I felt safe with them. For the first time in my life, I was a part of a normal family.” Tears crowded my eyes as the feelings of his family’s love swelled in my chest. I paused and took a deep breath before I continued, “I didn’t know how to relate to the whole situation happening between me and your family. And so, when I thought your mom and Calvin hated me—”
“They don’t hate you,” Max interjected.
“Well, at that moment, I thought they did. So it was painful to feel rejected by your mom. It was painful to think she’d just lost the man she loved and she had to stop grieving because of me.”
“I’m so sorry you felt that way. I would never—” he whispered.
“I know, but when I left and you didn’t try and stop me, somehow I convinced myself that you didn’t want me. I know how stupid and ridiculous it sounds; but at that moment, I truly thought you were over me.”
“How could you think that, Wilson?” Max asked as he searched for the answer to my long, drawn-out confession.
“I don’t know. I guess I thought somehow, some way, you’d come for me. And when you didn’t, I didn’t know how to deal with it...so I started to drink…with Nick. I drank a lot, more than I should have, and one thing led to another; I just wanted to stop hurting. I wanted to feel something other than alone. I wanted to feel like I mattered to someone. And before I knew it, I was kissing him. Max, I am so sorry.” I stopped breathing, waiting for him to interrupt again, but he didn’t.
His eyes cased the room and locked on Cindy. For the first time since I’ve known her, Cindy stood speechless. It was like she was witnessing something much bigger than her high school antics. Maybe finally she recognized that what Max and I had was something real, that we truly loved one another. Without saying a word, she turned and climbed the stairs. Her work here was done.
Max came back to me, his eyes hollow with betrayal, his jaw taut with anger. I watched the edges of his ears rush with blood and his cheeks followed, becoming saturated in crimson. He dragged his hands back across the top of his head pulling his shiny, onyx-black hair off his forehead and away from his eyes. I stood there, a prisoner of his pain, shackled, as I waited for him to say something. I deserved whatever was going to blast from his mouth.
He cleared his throat, “I came here today willing and ready to take you home with me. I came here to tell you that I resigned from Wesley this morning. I needed you to know that I wasn’t planning on finishing the year as your teacher, but as your boyfriend. But I didn’t expect to be blindsided like this.”
I took a step toward him, and this time it was he who took a step back. My heart plunged into my gut.
What did I expect? That he was going to forgive me and we’d be back together? I guess I did. In some small corner of my heart, I wanted to believe he’d be able to forgive me.
“Max—”
“Don’t, Wilson,” he spat as he looked over at Nick then down at me. “I can’t do this right now. I have to go,” he groused as he walked past me and toward the front door.
I felt my feet slam hard against the hardwood floor as I chased after him. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to argue my point. But he pulled the huge, mission-style door open and the freezing cold air encased me, drowning me in despair.
“Max!” I screamed as I stepped out onto the Browlers’ massive porch. My bare feet stuck to the bitter cold granite and every inch of my exposed skin became victim to the sub-freezing temperature. I inhaled to scream for him again but the frigid Aspen air stole my words and sliced my throat.
He was already down the steps when he looked back at me. His expression was desolate, his heart shattered, and his body caving, all evidence of my betrayal. Oh my God, I broke him. He turned, got in his car, and sped away. I watched as his tail lights disappeared into the night and the cold fog of the evening swallowed him up.
It was real; he was gone. My legs gave in to my weight and my knees slammed hard against the granite porch. My tears stung and needled my cheeks as they mingled with the freezing air. I rocked back and forth toward the driveway as bellowing moans boomed from deep within my body and the rush of the blistering night vanished.
Finally, I thrust my head against the porch, folding in half as the cold granite bit at my forehead. My hands wrapped tightly across the back of my head, blocking the sides of my face and covering my ears. Despite the cold, my hair clung to my cheeks and down my neck, wet with sweat. Joanie pressed against my back. Her hushed whispers were nothing more than feeble attempts to replace what I had lost. There was nothing she could do to help me. For the second time in my life, I was abandoned…on a doorstep.
What the hell just happened? I rolled down the windows in my car and made sure that every fucking ounce of heat that radiated from my body disappeared. I wanted to get totally numb. I didn’t want to feel the sting of coming home without Wilson. I sped through the mountainous roads, feeling my body push and pull with every bend and turn. But nothing matched the pressure of having to listen to my girlfriend confess that she’d kissed someone else while I was burying my father. God, I just want to fucking hit something until it hurts as bad as I do. I slammed the heel
of my hand against the steering wheel over and over again, but it didn’t help.
Urghhh, I blew it. Why didn’t I stop her from getting in his car? I should have fought for her. I knew it! He was just sitting back, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on her. From the first day I met him, I knew he was a snake. He was waiting for an opportunity to sink his fangs into her. He knew we were together…
Visions of Nick with my girlfriend filled my mind—his hands touching and stroking her soft skin; his mouth pressing against hers; and his tongue sliding into her mouth, kissing her! I wonder if she looked at him the same way she looked at me. Did he make her shiver the same way I did? Did he make her lose her breath when he’d push up against her? Stop it! Stop, fucking torturing yourself.
He got her drunk and she was lonely. Worst combination ever! Shit…what if they…don’t think about it. She said she just kissed him. If it was more than that, she would have said they made out or something like that. What does Wilson see in that guy? Does he give her something that I can't?
I trusted her. I let her in and she kicked me when I was down. My dad just died, for God's sake. But how could she have thought we were over? Doesn’t she know I’d do anything for her? I love her.
I had to pull over on the side of the road and stop driving. Images of Wilson splashed across my mind and my feelings for her drilled deep in my gut. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I loved hearing her laugh as we lay tangled in a pile on the ice rink. How cute her scowl was when she learned she’d lost the pool game to my dad with just an eight ball, and how inviting her glistening skin was when she let me make love to her for the first time. I couldn’t shake the image of her face as that snake drove away with her—how devastated she was when I let him take her from me. I saw the hope in her eyes vanish. Goddamn it, why didn’t I recognize it? But she made her decision—drunk or not, she chose to cheat on me. I let her leave with ‘him,’ thinking I was protecting her…and she cheated on me.
The Wilson Mooney Box Set Page 52
