Hold On Tight (Lazarus Rising Book 6)

by Cynthia Eden

  He blew out a breath. “Maybe you should sit down.”

  “Maybe you should just tell me.” But she let him go. Marched away from him. Didn’t go for a chair but instead headed toward the balcony. She opened the sliding door, aware of him following her. The starlight shone down on them, the scent of the salt water teased her nose, and she could hear the waves hitting the shore far below. The sound soothed her. The ocean soothed her. It prepared her for what she knew would be very, very bad news.

  He was silent for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, then Jett said, “Your father lied to you.”

  She wasn’t going to act surprised. Her father had been a politician. He lied about a lot of things. “About what?”

  “About why you were in that mental institution.”

  Okay, now shock rolled through her. Of everything that she’d expected him to say—those words had not been the ones she’d thought to hear. “What?”

  “I did some digging.” And he was pacing. “It pissed me off that he’d had you locked up.”

  She could only stare at him in shock.

  “No one should fucking lock you up. It enraged me. Maybe because I was spending so much time locked up, too. I don’t know. But I hated it, and I got Maddox and Luna to help me investigate.” He swung toward her. “Baby, I don’t think you started hearing thoughts after the accident.”

  “Yes, yes, I did. I—”

  “I think you always heard them. I think your dad was trying to cover up something else entirely when he put you in that hospital.”

  The wind blew her hair.

  “I…shit. I got the files from your shrink. Dr. Anthony Rowe. Or rather, got access to them. There were notes from your freaking grade school teachers in those documents. An elementary school counselor told a story about how you were playing a game one day on the playground. You were surrounded by a circle of your friends. One at a time, you’d go around the group and you’d say what they were thinking. The counselor got spooked because you looked right up at her, and you said exactly what she was thinking.”

  “I don’t remember that.” Not a bit of it. “And I can’t just pick up all of those thoughts. There’s no way I could simply look at people and pluck thoughts straight from their heads. That’s not how it works for me. It’s random. Not some easy thing for me to just—”

  “It’s not easy any longer. Because of your father. Because of the shrink he had you seeing. They wanted to stop your power. Not strengthen it.”

  “They wanted me to be normal.” For an instant, she could see Dr. Rowe in her mind. He’d been fresh out of school when he’d begun to treat her. Young, but with cold eyes. Icy blue eyes that had stared at her from behind the frames of his glasses as he’d studied her like a bug under a microscope. He’d always made her uncomfortable. Always made goosebumps rise on her arms.

  Jett laughed. “Fuck normal.”

  “Jett—”

  “He was covering up the accident, Savannah. Your father put you in that place because he needed to make you forget what you’d seen. And when he got you under the care of that prick doctor, they went a step farther. Why not change you? Why not try to get the perfect daughter?”

  “I’m not perfect.” Never had been. Never claimed to be.

  “You went to hypnosis sessions. One after the other. Dr. Rowe played with your memories. Played with your mind.”

  “No, my father wouldn’t do that.” And even the crash of the waves couldn’t soothe her. She stormed past Jett, heading into the penthouse again. “I asked for the truth,” she snapped without looking back. “But you give me this crap? Are you just trying to jerk me around? To make me angry at my father?”

  He followed her inside. Shut the door. “You were always angry with him. Because deep down, I think you do remember some things. Despite what they did, the drugs they gave you while you were in that facility, the hypnosis, all of the so-called therapy that I read about and hated…I think the truth is still there.”

  Focus on me, Savannah. Only me. Dr. Rowe’s voice floated through her mind. He’d used those same words at the start of every therapy season.

  His image flashed in her mind. The faint smile on his lips.

  Goosebumps rose onto her arms. No. No!

  She whirled toward Jett. “What truth?”

  “The truth about the accident. The truth…that your mother wasn’t driving the car. That your father was. That he caused the accident that killed your mother and your twin brother. That it was all him.”

  “No.”

  “It was a cover-up. Straight and simple. I saw the photos from the accident scene. The front seat was pushed back too far for your mom’s five-foot-two frame. Your dad was obviously driving, I could tell that shit right away. But he moved her. He put her in the driver’s seat because I’m betting the bastard had been drinking that night.”

  Her temples were throbbing. “Stop.”

  “You wanted the truth. I’m giving it to you. Luna discovered his drinking problem. He joined AA the month after you got out of the mental hospital. Maybe he wanted to really change his life or maybe he just got fucking tired of looking at a monster when he glanced in the mirror, but he stopped drinking.” Jett’s hands were fisted at his sides. “You had to wonder, why would a man like your father let Patrick Zane into your life?”

  “He didn’t know what Patrick was. My dad didn’t know, Sam didn’t—”

  “Bullshit. Patrick Zane was dirty, but your father and Sam—they were cleaning up his image. They even introduced the bastard to you. Vouched for him. And you know why?”

  “You obviously do.” She had chill bumps on her arms.

  “Maddox and I found the evidence at the shack on the dock. The night Patrick was killed, it was all there on the computer.”

  Her throat had gone dry.

  “Patrick had pieced together everything, just like I had. He knew your father was driving when the wreck happened. Patrick knew Phillip had been drinking. Patrick found a witness, you see. A fucking first responder on the scene. A uniformed cop who should have been there to help you all, but instead, he protected your father.”

  Her temples were pounding. Her breath heaving.

  “Your father was driving, not your mother. But the cop helped your dad to put your mother’s dead body behind the wheel. He helped your dad to stage the whole scene. Your dad paid the bastard because the great Phillip Jacobs didn’t want to lose his senate seat. His position mattered more to him than anything else. His family was dying around him, but he was covering his own ass.” Rage beat in Jett’s words. “Your father is the one who crashed the car. Patrick had dirt on him, and in exchange for keeping quiet, in exchange for making that witness go away, Patrick wanted inside of Phillip Jacobs’ world.” A stark pause. “And he wanted you.”

  If all of this was true…Dear God. The cop wouldn’t be a witness. An accessory? “Where is the cop now?”

  “Dead. I suspect by Patrick’s hand.”

  Oh, God.

  “The cop’s daughter was the first victim of Patrick’s kidnap scheme. You see, the cop came into a great deal of money right after the crash that killed your mother and your brother. The guy’s whole life changed. And then when Patrick took his daughter, it changed again.”

  She tried to calm her racing heartbeat.

  “Think about the crash, Savannah. Go back there. Look at it again.”

  An image of the crash flew through her mind. The scream of metal. The pain when she hit the seat in front of her. Steven’s yell that was cut off so quickly, too quickly. “He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “Why didn’t Steven have on his seatbelt? We were taking Driver’s Ed. We’d just watched all those videos about how important it was to buckle your seatbelt.” All of those videos with the crashes and the blood on the highway.

  She felt Jett’s fingers brush over her arm. Her eyes opened.

  “Your brother was thrown from the car.”

  Yes, he’d died at the scene
.

  “Your mother and father weren’t. But your mom—she didn’t survive her injuries.”

  No, she hadn’t. “When I opened my eyes, my dad was there. Telling me…”

  But she couldn’t say it.

  I’m so sorry, Savannah. I’m so sorry. Tears had streamed down his face.

  “What did he tell you?” Again, Jett’s fingers stroked over her arm. A soothing caress.

  “He said he was sorry.” Because it had been…his fault?

  She wanted to double up because the pain hit her so hard. A blow right to the heart.

  “The night I left you, I went to see Phillip Jacobs. While I had been with you, I had been working with my team to get all of this information. When we protect, we do it fully. There was no aspect of your life that we weren’t going to examine. Nothing that could be a risk. We uncovered the truth, and there was no way I was vanishing without making sure no one would hurt you again. No one, including your father.”

  If this was a dream, she’d like to wake up now, please.

  “I told that bastard that he would never hurt you again. No more lies. No more tricks. I told him that he had to tell you the truth, and if he didn’t, I would be back for him.” He gave a rough laugh as his fingers slid away from her. “He’d just been fully briefed on Lazarus by this point. I’m not sure what he knew before that—maybe just some PR bullshit that skirted over the truth about what the test subjects really were. He was terrified, knew that he was staring straight at a monster.”

  “You’re not a monster.” The words came automatically.

  But he gave her a level look. “I am, baby. You shouldn’t forget that. When it comes to you and to the baby you carry, I will do whatever it takes in order to protect you both. If that means I have to become the devil himself to everyone who threatens you, if that means I have to hurt and kill, I will do it.”

  She believed him.

  Her dad…her dad…

  He’d caused the accident? Killed her mother? Her brother? And lied for years? What would those lies do to a man? What would he become?

  “When I left him, Phillip Jacobs was alive. He was sitting at his desk.”

  She shivered. “That’s where…where he was killed. Shot in the back of the head.” The crime scene photos would haunt her. “The blood sprayed over his desk.”

  “Savannah…”

  Even if all of this was true…“You’ll still help me find out who killed him?” Because she wanted to know. Needed to know. Even if he’d—

  She had to blink away tears. My mother, Steven…Her heart ached.

  “I’ll do my fucking best.”

  She sucked in several deep breaths. Just felt the pain for a few moments and, God, it was terrible. All of those years…and it had been her father?

  “There’s something else you need to know, baby.” His voice was gentle.

  She tried to square her shoulders. I’m scared to hear anything else. But she couldn’t hide. Couldn’t bury her head in the sand.

  “I don’t believe Agent McNeely is FBI.”

  Her jaw dropped. “What?”

  “I suspect he works for a far more covert division in the government. A division that has a tendency to silence those who get in their way.”

  She shivered and tried to understand exactly what he was hinting at. I hate hints. Just say it. “You think he killed my father?”

  “I think your father was asking too many questions about Lazarus. And I think that got him in trouble.”

  Another shiver. Why was it so cold in there? “If you knew this, why didn’t you come back and tell me? McNeely has been around me so long—”

  “Because I didn’t know, not at first. Shit, baby, I didn’t even realize your father was dead. My handlers sent me to Mexico. Then to another mission. And another. I went off-grid. Didn’t have any outside contact with the world for weeks. Then when I came back, let’s just say that things went to hell damn fast. Lazarus burned. And I freaking mean that literally. We had traitors in our midst. People looking to destroy us from the inside. Turns out Project Lazarus was never about protecting our country. It was about creating unstoppable killers. Having ultimate power.” He heaved out a breath. “I made mistakes. I trusted the wrong people, and I wound up as a prisoner in a building that was an inferno.”

  This time, she was the one to reach for him.

  “Maddox got me out.” He looked at her hand on his arm. “Maddox dragged my ass out even though he should have left me behind. Because those people I betrayed? Maddox was one of them. I should have trusted him, but I didn’t, and I almost got him and Luna killed.”

  “Where are they now?”

  “Safe.” His fingers curled around hers. “Actually, they’ll probably be arriving soon. They want to help you. There are a whole lot of people very interested in you.”

  Not her. The baby.

  “Luna has a gift. Something that is a game changer for everyone in Lazarus.” His lashes flickered. “Remember how I said everyone had different, uh, bonuses when they came back from death the first time? Luna is a healer. She can use her power to heal those who get injured—I’ve seen her save a dying kid in the middle of a war zone. The things she can do—they are absolutely incredible.” He pulled in a deep breath. “But it turns out, the longer we have our powers, the more they evolve. And when she heals now, she can heal Lazarus subjects completely.”

  She was trying to follow along, but…“I don’t understand what that means.”

  “Our minds weren’t the same after we were given the serum. Our memories were erased. She can give them back to us.”

  Now she felt her eyes widen. “You remembered your life? Before Lazarus?”

  “I haven’t been around her long enough to remember everything. I just got a taste.” A low exhale. “Before Luna tried to help me, I couldn’t even remember my own mother. A handler at Lazarus—the guy must have felt sorry for me because he gave me access to my files one day. I saw a picture of my mother. Read her bio.” He swallowed. “From my files, I learned she was in the Cantonese Opera. I read everything I could in those files. That’s how I knew about her falling for my Italian father. It’s also how I learned that I was with each of them when they died. I knew that stuff because I’d read it. Not because I remembered it.”

  What would it be like…to remember nothing of your early life? For it to be so completely erased?

  But, wait, he’d said he thought someone had played with her memories, too. That wasn’t possible, was it? Wouldn’t she know?

  “After I left you, in those hellish months, Luna gave me a flash of my mother.” His voice turned ragged. “My mother was in a hospital bed. Hooked up to a dozen machines. I was holding her hand, and she was telling me…saying that she was proud of me.”

  There was grief in his voice. Pain. And Savannah wanted to hug him. If there wasn’t a chasm between them, if there wasn’t—

  Screw it.

  She threw her arms around him and held tight.

  “What are you doing?” he rasped.

  “What does it feel like? I’m hugging you.”

  “Savannah…”

  “You need a hug, don’t you? Because I do. This asshole jerk who left me—who got me pregnant and pretty much turned my world upside down—just told me that my dad killed my brother and my mother in a car accident.” When she sucked in a breath, it seemed to chill her lungs. “So, you know what? I could use a hug.” And so could you, Jett. I feel your pain, and I hate it.

  Despite everything that had happened between them, she didn’t want him to suffer. If she could, she’d take away all of his pain.

  And I would take away yours. His voice drifted through her mind. I would go back and change our ending. We wouldn’t end. I wouldn’t walk away. I’d stay with you. You’d wake up in my arms, and everything would be different.

  Her head lifted. She stared into his eyes. So dark. So deep. No one else had ever looked at her quite the way Jett did. She didn’t think that anyon
e else ever would. “What happened to your mother?” she whispered.

  “Cancer. She…didn’t get better.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  She saw his Adam’s apple bob. “I am, too. But I want to be the man she was proud of, Savannah. I want to be a man that you can be proud of. That our child can be proud of.” His hold tightened on her. “I will never let you down again. I will never give you cause to doubt me again. When you need me, I swear, I will be right there.” Then he pulled her closer. Put his head next to hers. “And I’m sorry about your father. I wish I’d been at the cemetery with you. I wish I could have stopped his death.”

  She blinked quickly, held him tighter. She held him so tight, and Savannah realized that she didn’t want to let him go.

  But then a low beep filled the penthouse. Jett swore and pulled back.

  Savannah missed him immediately.

  “They got here sooner than I thought.”

  Unease slithered through her. “They?”

  He caught her hand. Threaded his fingers with hers and led her down a hallway. He opened the door to what she’d assumed was another bedroom, but when they stepped inside, she saw the left wall was full of monitors. Each monitor showed a different part of the building. He pointed to the monitor on the lower left. She could see his motorcycle. The elevator. And…two people. A man with dark hair and a fierce, hard face. The guy glanced over his shoulder, his gaze sweeping the area even as his arm stayed curled around the waist of the woman at his side. Her hair was pulled back, twisted at the nape of her neck.

  “That’s Sawyer Cage and Dr. Elizabeth Parker.”

  Deep breath. “Since they’re here, I’m guessing they’re your allies?”

  When he looked at her, his gaze appeared guarded. “Elizabeth is the woman who first created the Lazarus formula.”

  “And that’s a good thing?” Didn’t sound like it to her.

  “The formula was taken from her, used to do things she never anticipated. She’s doing her best to right the wrongs.”

  Okay. Her gaze darted back to the monitors. “So that’s why she’s here?” Guilt. Savannah could understand that. “What’s his story?”