by Lovett, Jo
They were in a queue in Boots five minutes later, waiting to talk to the pharmacist about laxatives, when Dan called back. Evie stared at the phone for a few moments, feeling her shoulders tense, and then picked up.
‘Evie. Hi. Sorry I couldn’t take your call immediately; I’m at work. What’s the emergency?’ Evie relaxed a little. There was something very comforting – as well as sexy, no, ignore that – about Dan’s voice, and clearly they didn’t need to mention anything personal.
‘Basically, Sasha’s wedding dress is a little tighter than expected…’
‘Because I’m too fat,’ Sasha said.
‘Sasha looks gorgeous as always,’ Evie said, ‘but the dress is a bit small, and the seamstress is suggesting that Sasha take laxatives so that she can get into it, and Sasha thought that you might have some useful advice, being a doctor.’
‘What?’ Dan said.
‘I’m not joking.’
‘That’s insane. No-one should be taking laxatives for dieting purposes. She could easily ruin her wedding day and her honeymoon. It’s a ridiculous suggestion.’ Hooray. ‘Can’t they change the dress?’
‘Exactly. Would you like to speak to Sasha directly? Sasha, would you like to speak to Dan directly?’
‘Okay.’ Sasha sniffed.
‘So I’m going to pass the phone to Sasha,’ Evie told Dan. ‘Obviously I know that you know this but a wedding dress is a huge deal for a bride and the wedding’s on Saturday.’
‘Yep, I’ll channel my inner adult and not be mean to my little sister.’
‘Thank you.’
Evie handed the phone to Sasha.
Whatever Dan was saying had to be good. Sasha was no longer crying; in fact, she was almost smiling.
‘Thank you,’ Sasha said. ‘No, we’ll do it. Evie’ll be amazing. But if we need help from a third party we’ll call you.’ She handed the phone back to Evie.
‘So what are we doing?’ Evie asked. Please let Dan have prevailed common sense-wise over the laxatives.
‘We’re going to go back to the shop and tell Tiff that she has to let the dress out. We’re going to be firm and she’s going to do it. And then I’m going to weigh myself literally about every hour, to make sure that I don’t change size any more. Dan offered to phone Tiff and speak to her for us, but I told him we don’t need a man to fight our battles for us.’
‘We certainly don’t,’ said Evie, really wishing that Sasha had let Dan make the call, because Tiff was actually quite scary.
‘Exactly. We are strong women.’ Sasha linked her arm through Evie’s and started walking out of the shop. ‘Let’s do it.’
‘Hang on.’ Evie stopped just outside Boots’s entrance. ‘I need to google. I need some ammunition. Okay, got it. The Consumer Rights Act 2015. Come on. I’m going in.’
‘No,’ Tiff said, when they were back in the shop. ‘Really, I don’t think so. Please try the laxatives. Sasha, darling, I have it on great authority that several members of the royal family, and Hollywood royalty too, swear by them.’
Evie tried to imagine Tiff away and replace her with a naughty Year Seven. ‘Well, more fool them, frankly,’ she said. She squinted down at her phone screen. ‘I’m so sorry, Tiff, but I’m going to have to quote the Consumer Rights Act. Section Ten. Goods have to be fit for particular purpose. Section Fourteen. Goods to match a model seen or examined. Section Twenty-three. Right to repair or replacement. I could go on.’ She couldn’t go on much further without scrolling down on her phone.
‘Evie’s a very senior Consumer Rights Act lawyer,’ Sasha said.
‘Yes, I am,’ Evie said. ‘And not taking the dress out would be a clear breach of Sasha’s consumer rights. Which obviously you’re aware of, and I know that you just have Sasha’s best interests at heart.’
‘Obviously,’ said Tiff after a long pause, her eyes scarily narrowed, and voice like nails on a chalkboard, ‘if you want me to take it out, I will do that. I was just thinking of you. I’m not sure you want that stress.’
‘It won’t be stressful, because we know you’ll do a fab job,’ Evie said. ‘Thank you so much, Tiff. We’re both going to recommend you to all our friends.’
‘Very rich friends,’ Sasha said. ‘Who are all getting married very soon. Dozens of them. It’ll be very much worth your while. Thank you so much. We’re very grateful.’
‘Not a problem.’ Tiff looked like she’d just eaten a large slice of lemon when she’d thought she was getting orange.
Three hours later, Evie and Sasha were on the sofa in Sasha’s flat, watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding, with glasses of water – Sasha wasn’t touching alcohol with a barge pole before Saturday because of the empty calories factor – and big salads, dressing-free in Sasha’s case.
‘You don’t want to avoid all calories,’ Evie said. ‘You can’t lose weight now.’
‘I might have a square of chocolate for pudding,’ Sasha said. ‘And a rich tea biscuit – low GI according to Google. Thank you so much for being with me this week. I’m so glad I’m getting married in the holidays so that you could be here in the run-up.’
‘Me too. If I hadn’t been you’d have had laxatives for dinner instead of salad.’
‘You were amazing with Tiff.’
‘I was really scared.’
‘You didn’t look scared. It was so cool when you started quoting the law at her. I mean, I actually believed you.’
They both sniggered and then Sasha said, ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Mm, hmm.’ It was going to be another question about Dan.
Sasha opened her mouth and Evie’s phone rang. Good.
It was Matthew, calling from his Tenerife golfing holiday.
‘I’ll leave you to it and make us some coffee,’ Sasha said and left the room.
‘Hello,’ Matthew said. ‘I’m missing you. How’s everything going with the wedding preps?’
Evie told him all about her day, not really including the conversation with Dan, though, because it felt a bit weird talking about him with Matthew. ‘And how’s your day been?’ she asked when he’d finished agreeing that no way should anyone suggest that a bride take laxatives.
When he’d finished a – genuinely very funny on this occasion – golfing anecdote, he said, ‘I can’t believe I’m away for a whole ten days. I’m really missing you.’
‘Me too,’ Evie said, meaning it. His presence was very calming.
‘Are you sure you’re okay about seeing Dan and meeting Hannah this weekend?’ Sasha asked as soon as she was back in the room after Evie and Matthew’s call finished. One-track mind. It was literally about the fiftieth time she’d asked the question. Like Evie, while totally sober, was suddenly going to give a different answer from the other forty-nine times. Sasha wanted her baby niece to be at her wedding so Hannah had been invited, and if Evie was honest of course she didn’t particularly want to spend time with Dan and the ex he’d split up with just before Vegas. But they were all adults and it would be fine.
‘Totally. I mean, he split up with Hannah before we went to Vegas and so of course it was fine that he and I… you know… fine. And it’s clearly fine, more than fine, wonderful, that he has Katie. You know, I’m really pleased for him, both of them. And of course it’ll be fine seeing them together, totally fine. I mean, obviously.’ She was clearly doing the protesting-too-much thing. Also, what was she thinking? What about Matthew? ‘And, I mean, I’m with Matthew. Really, Dan and Hannah are nothing to do with me.’ It was really bloody annoying, frankly, that Matthew couldn’t make it to the wedding. ‘I’m really looking forward to your wedding and to seeing you walking down the aisle looking utterly, utterly fabulous in your gorgeous dress and marrying your amazing fiancé.’
‘And Hannah and Katie will probably only come to the ceremony and the first part of the reception, so they won’t really be there much,’ Sasha said.
‘Exactly. But even if they were, I really wouldn’t mind.’
‘Good. I
f you’re sure.’
‘I am totally sure.’ Ish.
* * *
‘So this is great.’ Two evenings later, Evie took another glug of her champagne and then put it down on a side table. It felt like to survive this evening happily she needed to be very drunk or totally sober. Drunk and Dan weren’t a good combination, so sober it was. ‘So exciting that the wedding’s tomorrow.’ She looked at Sasha’s mother on her right and then at Sasha’s father on her left. Neither of them had said a word for literally minutes. Such bad timing that Sasha’s parents had arrived at the restaurant at the same time, and straight after Evie.
‘I can’t wait to see how the church looks in the morning when the florist’s finished.’ Evie paused. More silence. Right. ‘And the cake’s going to be delicious. Such a good idea to have different types of cake in each tier.’ And more silence. ‘I can never decide whether I prefer fruit cake or your basic Victoria sponge. Or chocolate actually. Especially Black Forest gateau. Delicious. Yep. Everything’s going to be wonderful. I wonder where they’re going for their honeymoon. So exciting that Angus is surprising Sasha.’ More silence. Christ. ‘August’s a wonderful time of year for a wedding.’
There was the sound of a spoon tinkling against a glass.
‘If we could all take our seats, that would be great,’ Angus boomed. Thank God. ‘Sasha’s done a seating plan.’
Evie smiled at both of Sasha’s unsmiling parents, said, ‘Wonderful,’ and moved, fast, in the direction of the table, to start on the looking-for-your-name sideways-shuffle-and-peer thing that everyone was doing to find their place.
There were sixteen of them, eight men and eight women, and Sasha had alternated the sexes. She’d had quite a few constraints to work with, including having to put her father as far away from her mother and all four of his children and ex-mother-in-law as possible, as well as Angus’s mother and grandmother, who were both firmly in the Fiona-supporting camp, so he’d been placed between Evie and Dervla, the other non-family bridesmaid.
One of Angus’s younger brothers, Rory, was on Evie’s other side. Evie was pretty sure that she was relieved not to be sitting next to Dan, given all the awkwardness, except for some reason she also felt a bit miffed.
Silly, of course. There was nothing wrong with Robert, other than the middle-aged-letch thing he had going on and the fact that he’d betrayed his wife and never apologised. And she didn’t really know Rory, but he seemed like a lot of fun. She was totally going to have a great evening.
‘Thank you so much,’ Evie said to the waiter as he put her main course of ballotine of rabbit in front of her. She looked across the table at Sasha and made a sympathetic face as Sasha pointed between her very plain salad and Angus’s steak. She’d had soup and no bread to start with while Angus had had foie gras with a lot of toast. It seemed like there was something in all of this wedding dress and dieting stuff that summed up a lot that was wrong between men and women. Although tomorrow Angus was going to be wearing a boring suit while Sasha was getting to wear the most beautiful dress. Yeah, not the time to be philosophising.
‘This food’s delicious. Almost as delightful as my dinner companions this evening,’ Robert told Dervla and Evie. Honestly.
‘You old flirt,’ said Dervla, not really sounding that light-hearted.
Evie sneaked her umpteenth look of the meal at Dan, at the far end of her side of the squarish table. He looked a bit tired. And also gorgeously slightly rumpled. Apparently he’d come here straight from work via Hannah’s flat to pick her and Katie up. He hadn’t been able to make it to the wedding rehearsal this afternoon because one of his colleagues had been ill so he’d had to work on his day off. He glanced up and caught her looking at him – oops – and gave a half smile. Evie half-smiled back. She loved the way his whole face usually crinkled when he smiled and you felt like it was only the two of you in the whole world. That wasn’t the way he was smiling now, though. Now, he just looked a little wary.
Rory nudged her arm. ‘The waiter would like to know if you’d like more wine,’ he said. Oops again. She’d been paying no attention whatsoever.
‘I’d love some, thank you,’ she said. Actually, no, she really didn’t want too much to drink. ‘Just half a glass, please. Rory, could you possibly pass the still water?’
Robert concluded a long anecdote about his own heroics – something to do with helping a charming woman and her cat – and said, ‘I’ve had a lovely evening with you two ladies. It’s a great shame that I don’t have time to stay for dessert. I have to join Stephanie at a drinks party this evening.’
‘Must be an important drinks party,’ Dervla said. ‘To take precedence over your daughter’s dinner the night before her wedding.’ Evie nearly choked on her water.
Robert glared at Dervla, and then patted his lips with his napkin. He pushed his chair out and blew kisses around the table.
‘Wonderful to see everyone. See you at the church tomorrow.’
‘Now that he’s gone,’ Sasha said to everyone, before the door had fully closed behind him, ‘let’s shake things up a bit. Women, let’s be lazy and stay where we are. Men, you all move four places to your left.’
And suddenly Evie was sitting between Max’s partner Greggy and Dan, and, again, she wasn’t sure how she felt. Definitely suddenly happier and more full of anticipation than she should have been.
Twenty-Three
Now – August 2022
Dan
Dan plastered a smile on his face and stood up to move his four spaces along the table, to what felt like a hot seat.
The last time he’d seen Evie had been in the car after the quiz night, and he wasn’t sure where to go from there. Plus, he wasn’t precisely sure why, but he didn’t particularly like the idea of Evie and Hannah meeting tomorrow. However, they were adults, and this weekend was all about Sasha and they could absolutely behave normally.
‘Hey, Evie,’ he said, sitting down next to her. ‘Good to see you.’
‘Hello. Thank you for your help the other day.’
‘Always available to offer advice on bodily functions. Sasha said that you were surprisingly fierce with the woman in the boutique.’
‘Yes, I was very proud of myself. Turns out that someone telling your best friend to effectively poison themselves before their wedding makes you pretty angry.’
‘Yeah, you sounded quite stern even on the phone to me, and I was pretty sure that I’d done nothing wrong. Sounds like everything’s okay now dress-wise? I’m looking forward to seeing it tomorrow.’ He suddenly wondered what Evie’s bridesmaid dress was going to be like. This evening she was wearing a light-blue silky top and her hair up so that he could see the line of her neck, and, if he looked at her too much, he felt his throat go dry, which was insane, given that she had a boyfriend apart from anything else.
‘The dress really is beautiful. And Sasha’s going to look amazing.’
‘Yeah.’
There was a slightly too long pause and then Evie said, ‘I haven’t congratulated you in person on the birth of Katie. So… congratulations!’
‘Thank you. Yeah, it’s huge being a father. I mean, obviously. Goes without saying. Yeah, she’s amazing.’ He should say more, keep the conversation going until it felt like any awkwardness from their last meeting had gone. ‘I can spend hours just watching her. She can smile now, and it’s like every smile is the most precious thing you’ve ever witnessed.’
Evie smiled, properly, at that and Dan found himself thinking that her smiles were pretty precious too, actually.
‘I remember,’ she said, ‘from when Autumn was born. You get that feeling of immense, uncomplicated, almost slightly desperate, love, that you hadn’t even known existed.’
‘Yep. You’d do anything to protect them from the world.’
‘Exactly.’
Dan looked along the table at his mother. And then thought about his father.
‘Obviously not every parent feels like that,’ he said. ‘
Like my father. Kind of him to grace us with his presence briefly. It’s Sasha’s wedding tomorrow, for God’s sake, and he’s buggered off.’
‘He did come, though? Maybe he felt awkward being here because he isn’t the most popular family member ever?’
‘Or maybe he’s a total arse.’
‘Maybe a combination of all of those? Not to be rude about your dad.’
A waiter clapped his hands right behind them and Evie squeaked and then laughed.
‘That was loud,’ she said.
‘Dessert orders,’ the waiter said.
‘Oops, I haven’t chosen yet.’ Evie picked up the menu.
‘I have. I’m going cheese.’
‘I really can’t decide.’
‘I actually think I know what you’re going to have.’ Dan had been at enough dinners with Evie over the years to be pretty sure that he knew what she liked. Of the available options, she was going to go sticky toffee pudding, after a lot of deliberation.
‘Hmm. I don’t think it’s a compliment when someone implies that you’re predictable.’ She narrowed her eyes at him.
‘Predictable in a very nice way.’
‘Hmm.’ She mock-pouted and, God, he felt something inside him actually lurch.
‘What would you like?’ asked the waiter.
‘Could you come back to me last?’ she asked. The waiter visibly blossomed in response to her smile. She sat back and stared hard at the menu and then at the wall opposite, like all the horse paintings hanging on it might give her pudding inspiration.
‘Okay, yes, I’ve decided,’ she said when the waiter finally came back to her. ‘The lemon tart.’ What? Maybe Dan didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. ‘No, sorry, sorry, sorry, I’m changing my mind. Sticky toffee pudding, please.’
‘You sure?’ asked the waiter, laughing with her.
‘Yes, certain. Definitely.’
‘I’m a genius,’ Dan said. ‘I knew you were going to go sticky toffee.’
