If only Harry had said something to her …
She sat up straight. Was that it? Surely, Harry would have written and explained. They’d been close, hadn’t they? Or was she fooling herself? The secrets they’d kept were out of necessity for work but had that driven them apart? Had she been foolish to think it was possible to have a meaningful relationship when there was a wedge of secrets between them? The physical distance hadn’t helped but other couples had managed. Was her relationship with Harry doomed all along? Or had he finally revealed who he really was?
The more she thought about it, the more questions were raised—questions she had no hope of answering in this moment. What she could do right now, though, was find a way forward. Make a new start.
It was time.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Ellie sat on the blanket in the park, enjoying the last of the winter sun while Louis lay on his stomach beside her, his head in a book. Nearby, three children squealed with delight as they chased ducks while their parents strolled along the path. A little further away, a group of friends played cricket, their laughter infectious.
‘Out with it,’ she said.
Louis looked up and frowned. ‘Out with what?’
‘You’re using that book to avoid talking to me.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Since when have you been interested in Charles Dickens?’
He looked at the book like he was seeing it for the first time.
‘All right.’ He closed the book and sat up. ‘I’m using it as an excuse not to tell you something.’
Ellie narrowed her eyes. ‘What have you done?’
‘Maude is back.’
‘What? When?’ She refrained from asking why.
‘I knew it.’ He pulled at a piece of grass.
‘Knew what?’
‘I knew you’d disapprove.’
‘Disapprove is a strong word.’
‘Then what is it?’
Ellie took her time before answering. If she didn’t handle this right, it could easily put a wall between them. ‘She left four months ago and now she’s back. I guess I just don’t understand.’
‘Understand why she’s back?’
‘No! I don’t understand why you’re having a picnic with me right now. Shouldn’t you two be together, working things out?’
Louis looked to the heavens. ‘She says she’s sorry.’
‘Do you believe her?’
‘I want to.’
‘What does your heart say?’
Louis started shoving the plates and cups into the picnic basket. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘You know I can read you better than Dickens. Even if you weren’t conscious of it, you wanted to talk to me. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.’
‘It doesn’t matter, Bug,’ he mumbled.
‘Louis, this is important. Obviously, you need an ear. What are you going to do about Maude?’
‘She says the affair was because I’m rarely home.’
‘It’s your work. And we were at war. She got to see you a lot more regularly than other wives saw their husbands.’
Louis rested a steely gaze on her. ‘What do you have against Maude?’
‘I like Maude. I just don’t like what she did and the way it’s affected you. Up until this moment I thought you were trying to get over her.’
‘I thought I was, too. Then she showed up and stirred the pot.’ Louis picked up a stick and dug it into the grass. ‘I have to give us a chance. She said it’s over and he was shipped back a while ago.’
Ellie didn’t have the heart to ask if he thought she was back because her lover had left the country.
‘I hope it works out for you two,’ she said with sincerity.
‘I hope so, too. We’re married. We have to give this a try.’ He didn’t sound full of confidence. He turned on a smile. ‘What about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘Any suitors waiting in the wings?’
‘No,’ she said, annoyed by his question. She looked down at her ring sparkling in the sunlight.
‘What’s that strange look for?’ asked Louis.
‘Am I still engaged?’
Louis rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I reckon it’s safe to say no.’
She opened and closed the latch on the picnic basket a few times. ‘But it’s not officially off.’
‘Given Harry has abandoned you and not given a good reason and … I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh.’
‘It’s the truth, though. He abandoned our relationship with no explanation. I didn’t deserve that.’ Her fingers reached for the ring. How long would she allow it to be a reminder of the life she’d never have? She glanced at Louis, who was busy staring at the branches above. Slowly, surreptitiously, Ellie slid the ring down her finger. It reached her nail and before she stopped herself, she took it off and shoved it in her pocket. Relief washed over her. Why hadn’t she done this earlier?
Feeling like it was burning a hole in her pocket, she stood, picked up the blanket and shook off the grass. ‘I’m changing the subject.’
‘Really?’ He followed this with a smile. ‘To what?’
‘I’ve been at Mossman’s for eight months now.’
‘Yes.’ He collected the picnic basket and they started towards Mrs Hanley’s.
‘And I enjoy the work more than I thought I would, but it doesn’t thrill me.’
‘Matching a hat with the right gloves isn’t exciting?’
‘Actually, it’s quite the challenge as there are so many shades of …’ She waved her hand. ‘It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I miss my planes. I miss being in the air.’
‘I can take you up whenever you want.’
‘Thank you but that’s not what I mean.’
‘You want to work on planes again? All the men have taken the jobs now.’
‘I don’t want to be a mechanical engineer. I want to be above the clouds, soaring with the birds, looking down on the vast expanse of our country.’ She stopped and studied Louis’s blank expression. ‘I want to learn how to fly.’
His eyes lit up. ‘That’s wonderful!’
‘It is?’
‘Yes!’ His expression turned serious. ‘What will you do with your licence? No commercial airline hires women.’
‘At the moment,’ she said slowly, daring him to argue.
Louis laughed. ‘If anyone can change the world, it’s going to be you.’
* * *
Now that Ellie had sat with the idea of getting her pilot licence, she realised the dream had always been there, lurking in the shadows. Perhaps it surfaced now because she needed to engage her mind, to challenge herself, like she’d done at Central Bureau. Though how would she finance the lessons? Working at the department store didn’t have her rolling in money.
‘There has to be a way,’ she muttered as she grabbed her handbag and shut the door of her locker in the basement of Mossman’s.
‘A way to what?’ asked Jane.
‘Save money.’
‘Why?’ Jane seemed genuinely puzzled.
‘Isn’t that one of the reasons why we work? To earn money so we can save it for a rainy day? To house and feed ourselves?’
‘That’s what a husband is for.’ Jane said.
‘Do you really think that?’
‘Yes.’ Jane checked her hair in the mirror next to her locker. ‘I’m only doing this until I meet the man of my dreams. We’ll marry, I’ll look after the house and his babies and he’ll go to work.’ She turned to Ellie. ‘Isn’t that what every woman wants?’
Ellie stared at her. ‘No.’
‘Why on earth not? You don’t want to be working here when you’re fifty like Miss Edwards, do you?’
‘No.’
‘Then what are you going to do, Miss Independence?’ ‘I have a plan,’ she said. ‘It’s a little pie in the sky, but I’m going to give it my best shot.’
Jane sat on the bench
and patted the space next to her. ‘Tell me more.’
‘You really want to know?’
‘Of course I do! We’re friends, right?’
Ellie smiled and sat. ‘Yes, we are.’
‘Then tell me.’
Ellie had grown fond of Jane and the other women at Mossman’s, but her friendships with them were superficial. They lacked the depth she’d had with the Garage Girls. She was still best friends with Kat, but being so far apart changed their relationship and it wasn’t the same as when they’d lived together. Perhaps one day she’d be lucky enough to experience these types of friendships once more.
She hesitated. Would Jane understand Ellie’s desire? It had been easy to tell Louis about her dream because he understood the joy and freedom of being in the air. She took a deep breath and looked Jane in the eyes. ‘I want to fly planes.’
‘Fly in a plane? To where?’
‘No, I want to fly a plane. Be a pilot.’
‘For fun?’ asked Jane.
‘I want to work as a pilot.’
‘Interesting.’ Jane drew it out. ‘Are there many female pilots?’
‘Up until twenty years ago women weren’t allowed to get their pilot licence in Australia. Now there are female pilots who work for cargo companies and very small airlines but not the big ones like QEA.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, and they also take joy flights and deliver supplies to remote outback stations.’
Jane tilted her head to the side. ‘You’d do that instead of getting married and having children?’
‘I don’t think it’s an either-or thing. I could do both.’
‘How? And why? There must be a lot of study involved and then you’d have to fight for a place among the returned servicemen who need those jobs.’ Jane frowned. ‘Why would they choose a woman over a man?’
Ellie could have been offended but she knew Jane well enough to understand her view on the world—the same as most people she knew. Louis and Mrs Hanley were the only ones who understood. And, if she still had Florry in her life, she would have encouraged Ellie too.
She adjusted the collar on her dress. ‘A person should be chosen based on their ability, not whether they are a man or a woman. Although I do know that’s not how the world works. However, I don’t want to waste my life being a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.’
Jane rested her handbag on her lap. Her eyes didn’t leave Ellie’s. ‘I admire you.’
‘I haven’t done anything.’
‘I meant it,’ she said. ‘You’re not afraid to dream big, no matter what. There’s not many people like you, Ellie O’Sullivan.’
‘You don’t think I’m crazy?’
‘Not at all. In fact, this is probably one of the sanest things you’ve ever said.’
Maude collected the plates from the table and took them into the kitchen while Ellie brought in the gravy boat and sugar bowl. She placed them next to the sink and gently put her hand on Maude’s shoulder.
‘How are you doing?’ she asked.
‘It’s difficult. I’ve been back six months and you’d think we’d have figured it out by now.’
‘I sensed some tension.’ From the moment Ellie had arrived, she’d been suffocated by a thick cloud of unspoken animosity between Louis and Maude.
‘It has to work,’ Maude said.
‘He’s still dealing with the hurt.’
‘I know.’ She put down the dish cloth and stared out the window into the backyard now blanketed in darkness. ‘We’re married. We’re together until death do us part.’
There was so much more Ellie could say but it wasn’t her place. She certainly understood Maude’s dilemma. A woman who left her husband would not only carry a social stigma, she’d sign up for a life of hardship, making it difficult to get work or find a place to live, and it would be impossible to get a bank loan … the list went on.
Maude busied herself with washing the dishes and Ellie dried. They worked in silence until everything was put away.
‘I’m going to bed,’ Maude said.
‘Goodnight.’
Maude turned back to face Ellie. ‘I’ve never said thank you, have I?’
‘For?’
‘You’ve always been there for him. I know what I did was wrong, but I just got caught up in the romance of it all.’
Ellie had always kept clear of the subject with Maude so it was interesting she’d chosen to bring it up after all this time. She asked quietly, ‘Did you love the Dutchman?’
‘At one stage I thought I did.’
‘But you still love Louis, right?’
‘It’s late. I need sleep.’ She went down the hall and closed the bedroom door.
Maude’s evasion unnerved Ellie. Did Louis know exactly how Maude felt?
She went down to the front room to find Louis on the couch, book in hand, wireless on. He looked up and smiled when she entered.
He peered around Ellie. ‘Where’s Maude?’
‘Gone to bed.’
‘Oh.’ He held up his book. ‘Charles Dickens. See? I am reading it.’
‘You’ve been reading that forever.’ Ellie laughed, despite her heart feeling heavy for Louis. She sat on the armchair opposite. ‘How are you doing?’
‘We’re not great, if that’s what you’re angling at.’
‘Sorry, I probably shouldn’t stick my nose in.’
‘Nah. It means you care. Besides, if Robert were here we’d be sitting on the porch with a beer. He wouldn’t say much but his silence would make me talk.’
Ellie smiled. ‘He was not your average bloke.’
‘Definitely not.’
‘Will you be okay? Talk more to Maude?’
‘I will.’ He moved the book to the table beside him. ‘When are you starting these lessons?’
‘All right, I get the hint: no more Maude talk.’ She dropped from the arm of the chair and onto the seat. ‘I’m saving money but I still don’t have enough. Unless I rob a bank, it’s going to remain a dream.’
He sipped his beer. ‘I would offer to teach you but I’m not a qualified instructor. Besides, I’m heading back to Singapore on the flying boats.’
She shuffled forward. ‘What?’
‘One of the other chaps has left so I’m taking his place flying to and from Singapore so passengers can connect with their flights to and from London with BOAC.’
‘The British airline?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m so pleased for you, I know how much you love Singapore.’ Although she shouldn’t say anything, she couldn’t help herself. ‘How does Maude feel about you doing longer trips?’
Louis looked away. ‘We’re figuring it out.’
‘I thought starting 1947 would give you two a fresh start.’
‘We might’ve ushered in a new year but it doesn’t mean we get a clean slate,’ Louis grumbled.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Ellie stopped out the front of the airfield. Even though it had taken eight months of stashing away every spare cent to get to this moment, she could barely believe it was happening. Nervousness and cautious excitement had trailed her on the two buses and long walk to get here, and although her stomach churned and her hands shook, she’d forced her feet to keep going. Walking through the gate, she made her way towards the hangar that Louis had described—faded green building, crooked sign that read McKinley Air.
Every step felt weighted down. Maybe it was the guilt of spending money on flying lessons. After all, even if she did get her licence, being a female pilot meant there were limitations. Then again, she wasn’t doing this for job prospects. She was doing this because she needed to challenge herself. She needed that rush of adrenaline when under pressure, to busy her mind with complicated systems and push herself beyond her limits.
She arrived at the hangar and knocked on the door.
‘Just a minute!’ The man’s deep tone sounded like a radio presenter.
Ellie waited, her palms sweat
y. Eventually, the door opened and out walked a man in his early thirties, with dark hair slicked back and a thin moustache like Clark Gable. He stood over six feet tall and his blue eyes were friendly.
‘You must be Miss O’Sullivan.’ He leaned forward and shook her hand. His fingernails were perfectly manicured, his grip strong.
‘And you must be Gerard McKinley.’
‘Indeed. Louis speaks highly of you. I am expecting great things.’ He led her into the hangar where he placed his hand on the wing. ‘This is Glenys. She’s trained many pilots over the years. I will add, however, you are the first female trainee we’ve had in a long time.’
‘Is that a bad thing?’ She made it a joke but secretly worried he thought women didn’t make good pilots. Then again, people like Charlie at Central Bureau had said women didn’t make good codebreakers. The Garage Girls had certainly proved him and the other doubters wrong.
‘Louis tells me you worked for Qantas Empire Airways. And your father also worked with planes. At least you’re not starting from the beginning.’
‘I’ve never flown one, though.’
‘You’ve done the reading I prescribed?’
‘Yes.’ Even with her knowledge of planes, she’d found the study tedious but she’d worked through it, poring over the books, committing everything to memory. There was no way she was going to waste her time, or money, by not doing her absolute best.
‘A model student. Great, let’s get to it. You can put your bag and hat in the office. You won’t need them on board.’
‘We’re going up now?’
‘In a moment. First, we have a briefing so there’s no confusion about what’s expected.’
Ellie listened to Gerard intently as he went over the plan. Her days at Central Bureau had prepared her well for learning quickly and ensuring she got it right the first time.
‘So that’s it,’ finished Gerard. ‘Let’s do the walk around. I suspect you’re familiar given what you did at QEA.’
The Codebreakers Page 28
