‘Yes.’ Although this little aircraft was very different to the ones she’d worked on.
‘Show me then.’ Gerard was matter-of-fact and she didn’t mind at all. In a way, he reminded her of Commanding Officer Buckley.
Ellie talked about what she was checking as they did the walk around. Gerard would nod every so often as he followed, hands behind his back. When she fumbled with the stiff catches on the engine cowl he reached across and showed her the knack. She forced herself to breathe as she located the oil dipstick in the unfamiliar engine. Just another aeroplane, she reminded herself. Once she’d finished and refastened the cowl, she looked at him, praying she hadn’t forgotten anything.
‘It’s been some time since you’ve done this, I assume.’
‘Yes.’ Oh no. What had she missed?
‘I’m impressed.’ He cocked his head in the direction of the plane. ‘In you go.’
Ellie held onto the doorframe and climbed in. Perspiration on her palms made her hands slip on the metal. She shouldn’t be nervous as she’d been in planes countless times, though never with the goal of flying one. But everything felt so different. The controls appeared more complicated. The yoke bigger. The propeller sharper.
She took a deep breath, reminding herself she’d done complicated things before and succeeded.
‘Righto,’ said Gerard. ‘As we talked about in the briefing, we’ll take off, turn left, and head for the training area. Then we’ll put the aircraft through some simple manoeuvres until you’re comfortable. Keep your hands light on the controls and remember, if you set the power and the altitude correctly, the aircraft will do the rest for you.’ He nodded at the duplicate controls in front of him. ‘I’m here to help if you need it.’
Ellie diligently followed Gerard’s instructions. The engine sputtered into action and the propeller spun. She adjusted the controls and radioed the tower.
‘Echo 569 requesting permission for take-off.’ As the words fell from her lips, her body and heart flooded with joy.
This was truly happening.
‘Echo 569, this is the tower clearing you for take-off. Proceed to runway.’
The wheels turned slowly on the gravel as she took charge of the plane. She checked the path in front of her, weaving slightly from side to side to see over the cowling. Gerard nodded approval.
Lined up on the runway, she completed one more check of the controls.
‘Good to go then,’ Gerard said with a nod.
Ellie pushed the throttle wide open. Keeping the aircraft straight with the rudder pedals she eased forward on the controls so the tail wheel lifted. Then as the speed built, she gently pulled the yoke towards her and a moment later they were airborne. Beside her, Gerard’s hands rested lightly on the second yoke. The plane climbed steadily, the ground falling away beneath them. Trees grew smaller, the lush carpet of grass widened and the livestock looked like little stones. Blue sky stretched before them.
She’d never been happier.
‘You’re doing great.’ Gerard’s voice came over her headphones. ‘A natural.’
Ellie grinned so hard her cheeks ached.
Gerard went through a series of questions and asked Ellie to perform different tasks, like climbing at a certain rate, turning to the left then the right. Everything went seamlessly. For the first time in a long time, she had a sense of who she was.
‘Time to turn back.’ Gerard looked at her. A small laugh escaped his lips. ‘Don’t look so disappointed. We’ll get you up again soon.’
Ellie listened to Gerard’s instructions as she guided the plane back to the airport. As they approached the runway, fear rushed through her. What if she didn’t hold the plane steady? What if she misjudged and they came down hard and she destroyed the undercarriage?
‘Steady. Hold,’ said Gerard, oblivious to the nervousness coursing through her. ‘Follow me through on the controls.’
The wheels touched the ground and it was the most wonderful sound she’d heard. Ellie guided the plane to the hangar, her heart about to burst from her chest. When they rolled to a stop and Ellie had double-checked she’d switched everything off, she was walking on clouds like the ones she’d just flown over.
‘Congratulations,’ said Gerard as they headed towards his office in the hangar. ‘First flight and close to perfect.’
‘It was?’
‘I do not say this lightly. Most of my students panic at some stage or they’re too cocky—you seem to have an excellent balance of calm and quiet confidence. I find it hard to believe you’ve never flown a plane before. Same time next week?’
‘Absolutely,’ Ellie said with haste.
Louis topped up Ellie’s beer glass as they sat in the shade in his backyard. Christmas was only a couple of months away and already it hinted at being a particularly wet and sticky summer.
‘I have some news.’ Louis leaned back in his chair, hands behind his neck.
She waited for him to say something but he remained silent. ‘Come on, don’t make me beg!’
‘Qantas are flying a new route to London in December.’
‘New? Qantas and BOAC have been doing that for some time now,’ she said.
‘Ah, but QEA are going to give BOAC some stiff competition by doing the entire route from Sydney to London.’
‘Really? How?’
‘QEA are going to fly Lockheed Constellations. No more of my beautiful flying boats, I’m afraid.’ He smiled. ‘These Connies can take twenty-nine passengers and do the trip in four days with seven stops. Much faster than before the war.’
‘Oh, but I always liked the idea of taking a leisurely twelve days to get to London. I’ve imagined myself stopping at those exotic places along the way, exploring markets, eating delicious food. And I especially loved the idea of taking the train from Brindisi to Paris as part of the flight.’ She laughed.
‘Not everyone was keen on taking their sweet time to get to London.’
‘They should, though. Isn’t the journey sometimes better than the destination?’ she asked.
‘For you, yes, but others, not so much.’
‘Where are the stops?’
He held out his hand and counted them off each finger. ‘We go from Sydney to Darwin, Singapore, Calcutta, Karachi, Cairo, Tripoli then London. There’s an overnight stay in Singapore and Cairo.’
Ellie rested against the chair. ‘That would be wondrous. Please tell me they’re going to let women work as air hostesses now.’
‘Nope. Still only male stewards.’
Ellie pursed her lips.
‘Though,’ Louis said quickly, ‘I have heard rumours they may employ women in the future.’
‘Are you saying this to stop me from going on a rant?’
‘Maybe,’ he grinned. ‘I’ll give you every single detail when I get back. I promise.’
‘Good.’ She hesitated then decided it had to be asked. ‘Is Maude all right with you doing this? It took her some time to get used to your Singapore flights.’
‘We’ve done some negotiating,’ he said.
‘Which means?’
‘It means we’ll figure it out.’
Ellie’s days continued to revolve around working at Mossman’s, eating, sleeping, studying and planning her next flying lesson. She could have been going to dances with Jane but Ellie needed sleep so she could function at her best while flying. Besides, every penny she spent elsewhere meant she’d have to space out her lessons more, and it was already taking her a lot of time to get her licence. If war had taught her anything, it was patience and hard work always paid off.
‘Excuse me, Miss.’
Ellie turned away from sorting shelves of silk stockings to find an older woman and a heavily pregnant younger woman standing behind her. She sucked in her breath.
A pregnant Cassandra met Ellie’s gaze and subtly shook her head.
Ellie’s heart dropped.
Confused and hurt, Ellie bought time by dropping a packet of stockings and picking i
t up. ‘How may I help you?’
‘My daughter is in need of a hat for her brother’s wedding,’ said Cassandra’s mother. Her hazel eyes with green flecks were exactly the same as her daughter’s.
‘Do you have the dress with you?’ Ellie turned her attention to the mother who pulled out an emerald-green dress that went beautifully with Cassandra’s complexion. Ellie’s hands trembled as she took the dress over to a hat in a matching shade. She held it near and asked, ‘What do you think?’
‘Oh, it’s gorgeous!’ The mother clapped. ‘Try it on, Cassandra!’
It did indeed look perfect on her wavy chestnut hair.
‘It’s lovely,’ said Cassandra, her voice small. She took off the hat and handed it to Ellie. ‘I’d like to buy this, please.’
All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around Cassandra and ask about her husband and the baby and catch up on all the news—just like they used to share on their tea breaks at Central Bureau and the barracks.
Ellie rang up the hat, took the money from Cassandra’s mother, then wrote the receipt and wrapped the hat carefully. So, this is what her days at Central Bureau had boiled down to? Her having to pretend that one of her dearest friends was a complete stranger? Was it easier to pretend Central Bureau never existed rather than continue a double life?
Cassandra’s mother wandered off to look at other accessories.
Ellie finished wrapping the hat and handed it to Cassandra. They both held onto the package for longer than needed.
‘Congratulations,’ Ellie whispered.
‘Thank you.’ Cassandra’s glassy eyes locked with Ellie’s. ‘I miss you.’
‘I miss you, too.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She glanced over her shoulder at her mother who was busy examining a row of scarves. ‘It’s just easier. My mother’s here for my brother’s wedding and she’s going to stay and help with my baby. If she knew I worked with you she’d ask all kinds of questions and I’m tired of covering up what we did.’ She rubbed her belly. ‘I just don’t want to deal with secrets any more.’
‘Is that why you didn’t reply to my letters?’
‘I wanted to, but … I’m sorry, Ellie. You and the Garage Girls will always have a special place in my heart.’ Cassandra wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
She couldn’t blame Cassandra. Ellie had also found it easier not being on guard now she wasn’t working at Central Bureau.
‘Cassandra, look at this scarf!’ her mother called out across the shop. Cassandra’s body froze, like a child caught with her hand in the biscuit tin. She went over to her mother and examined the scarf, then put it back on the rack. Her mother walked towards the front of the store and Cassandra trailed behind, her head lowered. Just as the doorman held the door open, Cassandra turned around. Her gaze met Ellie’s and it said everything—goodbye forever, my dear friend.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Ellie had entered 1948 wondering what lay ahead. It was taking longer than she’d hoped to become a pilot but it wasn’t her dedication that was the problem, it was money for lessons. However, she was getting there slowly, and that’s what counted.
It was already February, so Cassandra would have given birth, and she’d be fully immersed in motherhood, the days of Central Bureau a memory she’d stored in a box and shoved under the bed. Had Cassandra battled like Ellie to find that sense of normalcy? Had getting married and starting a family helped Cassandra shed her past?
Now, when the department store was crowded or she walked through the city, Ellie scoured the crowds, hoping to spot one of her Garage Girls. It frustrated her that she found herself doing this because it was just another way to torture herself. Why did she have so much trouble letting go of people and events in her life? Especially when it came to Harry. Yes, she’d taken steps to start her new life without him, but every so often, when the city slept, the secrets and regrets that sought refuge from daylight crept out from under the cover of darkness.
Ellie waited on the steps of Louis and Maude’s house. Even though she was early for dinner, she’d knocked a few times in the hope someone was home. She hadn’t seen Louis since he’d started flying the Kangaroo Route almost three months ago and she was looking forward to hearing all about it. He’d arrived back two days before and even though he had suggested she come around the first night, she’d preferred to give Maude and Louis some alone time first.
Time dragged on and she stood and stretched. The front gate opened, and Maude stomped down the footpath. When she saw Ellie, her eyes darkened.
‘What are you doing here?’ Maude asked.
‘Louis invited me for dinner. He didn’t tell you?’ Ellie chose not to be offended by Maude’s mood and held out the bunch of flowers she’d picked from Mrs Hanley’s garden. Maude swept past, a storm cloud enveloping her. She opened the front door and Ellie followed.
‘Is Louis home soon?’ Ellie tentatively asked.
‘He’s gone into work even though it’s his time off.’ The keys clattered onto the hallstand. ‘He loves that job more than me.’
Maude went to the bedroom, grabbed a suitcase from under the bed and threw it onto the mattress.
‘What are you doing?’ Ellie asked, even though it was as obvious as the sun in the sky.
Maude started to empty the contents of her wardrobe and drawers into the case. ‘I can’t do this any more.’ She spun and put her hand on her hip. ‘I can’t change him.’
‘Why does he need changing?’
Maude scoffed. ‘You only see the good in people, don’t you?’
‘I try.’
‘Let me tell you this: the world isn’t as rosy as you think it is.’
‘I never said—’
‘It is a dark and hostile place and if you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will.’ Maude attacked the suitcase, trying to close it. ‘We should never have got married. We’re too different.’ The suitcase popped open. ‘Can you help?’
Ellie did so, feeling like an accomplice.
The latches finally clicked into place. ‘Tell Louis I’ll send someone for the rest later.’
‘Maude, please.’ Ellie reached out for Maude’s arm but she backed away. ‘He’s due home soon, isn’t he? I’ll go and leave you two to talk.’
‘I’ve finished talking. That’s all we do. Neither of us can go on like this. He’s just as miserable as me.’ She headed towards the front door. ‘I’m sorry to ruin dinner.’
‘Don’t worry about that.’ Ellie needed to stall Maude so Louis would arrive home in time. ‘I thought you two were back on track. What happened?’
‘I was visiting a friend who has just had a baby. She was so happy, so in love.’
‘Don’t a lot of women feel that euphoria? Then real life happens and the lack of sleep and endless washing bursts that bubble and puts pressure on a relationship.’
‘That’s exactly my point. If we can’t work things out now, how on earth can we expect to be happy when children are involved? Besides’—she drew a deep breath and let it out slowly—‘I don’t want children with Louis. That’s what made me realise I have to leave now, before my childbearing years are done.’
‘But …’ How could she say this without making things worse? ‘You’ve left before and returned.’
‘My family practically forced me back with Louis last time.’
‘Is …’ Don’t do it … ‘Is the Dutchman in contact with you again?’
Maude put the case down, her eyes steely. ‘That is an unfair question.’
‘Is it?’ she persisted.
‘We’ve been communicating.’
Ellie regretted asking. Now she knew too much and she couldn’t keep it secret from Louis. ‘You hadn’t stopped?’
‘We did, for some time. Then things didn’t get any better with Louis and …’ She picked up the case again.
‘Where does he send the letters?’ She held up her hand. ‘Actually, don’t tell me. I don’t need to know.’
‘
You need to break this to him. You’re his friend. He trusts you.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘This is not my relationship.’
‘You stick your nose in often enough.’ The words smarted. ‘You’re always around, talking about what you and Louis and Robert got up to in Longreach and all the fun times you three had. Just like the musketeers.’
‘I’m sorry if you’ve felt left out,’ said Ellie. ‘We never meant—’
‘It doesn’t matter. I’m moving on.’
‘Can’t you just wait for a bit then you can talk with …’
The wire door slammed as Maude hurried down the steps and through the garden gate.
* * *
Louis sat at the kitchen table, his head in his hands. Ellie rubbed his back, not sure what else she could do. After she’d delivered the news, Louis hadn’t spoken a word. It had been like that for the past half-hour.
He eventually lifted his head, his eyes red and glassy. ‘Why did she make you do this?’
‘I don’t know.’ It was the same question she’d been asking herself since Maude had left. ‘Maybe she thought me telling you was better than leaving a letter.’
‘Letters are cowardly.’
‘So is making someone else do the dirty work.’ Who ended a marriage via personal messenger?
‘I’m sorry she did that to you,’ he said.
Ellie squeezed his shoulder. ‘It’s not about me.’
‘I should have known this was on the cards.’ He sighed. ‘Maude has always known what she wants yet she also clings to people like they’re a life raft. It’s constantly confused me.’
Ellie nodded.
‘I hate to say it, but Maude’s turnaround after she came back from her family sent alarm bells ringing. I just chose to ignore them.’ He tapped the table with his thumb. ‘She lied and I believed her. I trusted her with my heart. She broke it—twice. If I ever fall in love again I want a woman who can be one hundred per cent honest with me—no lies, no secrets. Is that too hard to ask?’
‘No, it’s not.’ She wanted to sink low in her chair, but remained still.
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