by Holly Renee
“I need you to sign this.” He shoved a few sheets of paper into my hands, and I stared at his vacant eyes.
“Okay.” I looked down at the paper and saw that it was a disclosure agreement. “What is this for?”
“I need your permission to use your photographs. We have some interest in publishing them, and it will be good for advertisement.”
“Oh. Okay. Sure.” Normally, I would have asked where they were publishing them, but it was obvious by Tucker’s curt words that he had no interest in talking to me more than he had to. I would sign it regardless. I would give him anything he needed.
“Do you want to come in?” My voice was as small as I felt. “I need to grab a pen.”
I started heading inside, but he stopped me with the click of a pen.
“I have one.”
He didn’t look at me as he handed the pen over to me careful not to allow our skin to touch, and it crushed me.
I pressed the paper against the front door and quickly signed my name where it was flagged to do so before handing it back to him. He still didn’t look up at me, his eyes directly on the paper, so I held them when he tried to pull them away from me. Forcing him to look up.
“I’m sorry, Tuck.”
His pupils dilated, but otherwise, there was no change, he was completely stoic.
“Thanks for signing these.” He pulled on the papers again and this time I let them slip from my fingers. As easily as I had allowed him to.
Without another word, he walked away without a backward glance, and for the second time in seven long, torturous, lonely days my heart shattered into a million pieces.
…
On day ten post-Tucker, Brooke finally dragged me out of the apartment. I hadn’t had a photo shoot in those ten days, and I was thankful that I had blocked that time off in case I was still needed for Rock Bottom. I needed my camera in my hand, but I needed the time to wallow more. The images I sent to Chloe were amazing. I know that it was my own work, but I was blown away by how good they turned out. I had never been so proud of my work.
Chloe sent me an email raving about the photographs, but I didn’t hear anything about them from Tucker. He didn’t even mention them when he came to have me sign the disclosure agreement. I was worried and stressed that he didn’t like them, and the thought of Tucker’s disapproval of my work hurt me far more than my parents’ ever could.
I had spent the last ten days doing nothing but editing images, reading books, and drowning myself in rocky road ice cream. Today was the first day that I put clothes on that weren’t pajamas even though my yoga pants and long-sleeved T-shirt practically felt like pajamas.
I put on my oversized sunglasses as we left our apartment building, and with every step I took, I searched for Tucker. When we finally stepped outside, I sighed and breathed in the fresh air. It tasted strange on my tongue.
I could see Brooke watching me out of the corner of her eye. Probably waiting for me to break down, and after the way I have acted the last ten days, I didn’t blame her. But I didn’t have any tears left. I was completely dried out.
I tugged the hem of my shirt as we began walking down the sidewalk. We had decided that we were going to walk to go get lunch, and it felt good to be out of the apartment. I felt slightly like a vampire after not being in direct sunlight for so many days, but the sun warmed my skin against the chill in the air and I was thankful.
We were almost to the small café that we both loved when I completely regretted my decision to leave the four walls of my home that had been keeping me safe from the world. Safe from reality.
My brother was stepping out of a restaurant with Jessica by his side except he didn’t really look like my brother. One of his eyes was bruised with purple, green, and yellow colors swirling around and showing that the bruise was probably days old. The left side of his bottom lip was swollen and a small cut tore through his normally pursed lips.
He glanced at me before turning his gaze to his fiancée, and I thought that I made it out without him noticing me until his gaze snapped back to mine.
Pure fury rested there, and I return his stare hoping mine read the same.
I hope he could see how badly he’s hurt me.
“Kennedy.” He nodded his head at me politely, always the diplomat.
“What the hell happened to you?” I wasn’t going to talk to him, but I couldn’t help it. I had to know.
“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he practically growled at me.
I jolted back slightly at the venom in his voice, but I prayed he didn’t see it. I would not falter in front of him. I looked at Brooke but she just shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I think I would remember if I knew what happened to him. It would probably be the highlight of my damn year.
“So you’re telling me that you didn’t sic your little boyfriend on me?”
I shook my head no, but then Tucker’s words came back to me. I’ll kill them.
“What?” It couldn’t be true. Tucker didn’t even care about me anymore.
“Your thug of a boyfriend paid me a little visit the other day. Like he has the right to tell me what to do or don’t do. Like he has the right to tell me what to do with my sister.” He was practically in my face now, but I didn’t back down. I wouldn’t show him any fear. “He told me to stay away from you, but maybe I should have told him the same. You’re nothing but trash.”
The next thing that happened was like an outer body experience. A hand flew through the air and slapped my brother’s face with a power I didn’t know I possessed. Except, I didn’t possess it. My best friend did.
Her perfectly pink manicured hand made a loud sound when it connected with his cheek, and I couldn’t stop from smiling when I saw that she had managed to reopen the cut on his lip and a trickle of blood trailed down his chin. He looked momentarily stunned and so did Jessica who was hanging off his arm.
“If you ever talk to my best friend that way again, I will do far worse than Tucker Moore managed to do to you.” She was pointing her finger into his face, and I had to physically work at not busting out in laughter.
My brother opened his mouth to say something, but when Brooke stepped closer to him, he very smartly shut his mouth. He stared at me for several moments. His anger rolling off him in waves, and for the first time in ten days, a genuine smile formed on my face.
…
“I cannot believe that just happened.” I slid into the booth and looked at my best friend who was bouncing on her toes like a boxer.
“I can.” She swung her arms around in what I think she thought was a boxing move but didn’t resemble anything I’d ever seen on television. “I am so pumped right now.”
“Sit down before our server thinks we’re crazy and kicks us out.”
She plopped down in the booth across from me, but she didn’t drop the shit-eating grin from her face.
“I should join MMA,” she said seriously, and I rolled my eyes.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. You slapped one person.”
“I know.” Her voice was giddy. “But did you see that slap? It was amazing.”
“It was amazing.” I nodded in agreement. “I would pay good money to see it again.”
“I would have paid to see Tucker kick his ass.” She was still smiling, but her words practically plunged into my chest. Why did he do it?
Hope exploded in my chest like wildfire. I couldn’t allow myself to believe it. I couldn’t get my hopes up just to be dashed again. I couldn’t handle his rejection a second time.
“Yeah. It would have been awesome.” I picked up my menu and fiddled with the tethered edge.
“What’s going through that head of yours, Kennedy?”
“Tucker,” I replied honestly.
“What about him?” She rested her chin on her palms.
“Everything. How much I miss him. How big of an idiot I have been. How badly I want to see him.
” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m just a mess really.”
“Why don’t you talk to him? Put yourself out there.”
“Because I’m scared.” It was the truest statement I had said in a long time.
Twenty days post-Tucker, I woke up in a panic when I heard screaming in the living room. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the closest thing I could find that resembled a weapon. My bedroom light flipped on and I stared with wide eyes at my best friend as she stared wide-eyed at me.
“What are you doing?” She laughed.
“Me?” I yelled. “What are you doing? Getting murdered?”
“No. That was my excited scream. Why? What were you going to do cast a spell on my murderer?” She pointed to my replica Harry Potter wand, and I set it down on my bed while I tried to get my heart rate under control.
“I could have at least stabbed someone with it.”
“That’s what he said.” She bent over laughing, and I breathed through my nose so I wouldn’t kill my best friend. “Please be serious.” She rolled her eyes. “You would die if something happened to your wand.”
“Enough about my wand.” I waved my hands around like a lunatic. “Why were you screaming?”
“Oh yeah. Because of this.”
She pulled a magazine out from behind her back and held it out to me. It was a magazine I had seen a million times. A magazine that I owned hundreds of copies of, but this one was different.
The word Architect was written across the top in bold white letters just like every other copy that rested in a crate by my desk, but the difference with this one was that Rock Bottom graced the cover.
Tucker’s Rock Bottom.
The large agate chandelier sparkled in the lighting and created light and shadows throughout the amazing space. The photographer had managed to capture the room in a way that made it look enchanting. Magical. It was my photo. It was my work.
The magazine dropped from my hands and landed with a thud on the floor. My hands were trembling and I stared down at them. Brooke slipped my shaking hands into hers and leveled her eyes to look at me.
“Kennedy?” she asked cautiously. Like she was working with a caged animal.
“Is that really an Architect Magazine?”
She nodded her head slowly.
“Is that really my photo?”
Her lips picked up at the corners and she nodded her head again.
“Is this a joke?” I looked up at her and tears fell down my cheeks.
“No, babe. It’s not.” She squeezed my hands in hers.
Then I screamed. Brooke buckled under my weight when I jumped into her arms. But we didn’t care, we were a fit of giggles and cheers, and I could barely breathe. I could barely think.
My hair was covering her face, and I’m pretty sure I accidentally kneed her in the crotch in my excitement. Brooke pushed me off her and I fell onto my butt. She pushed her hair out of her face and her face was in as big of a grin as mine was.
That was the thing about Brooke. My joy would always mean as much to her as it did me and my pain would always wound her.
“Well, are we going to look at the article?”
The article. Shit. I didn’t even think about that.
I grabbed the magazine from the floor and started flipping through the pages until I spotted a picture of Tucker and Liam looking handsome against the backdrop of Rock Bottom. It made my chest ache. It made me want to see him, to touch him. I traced the edge of his face with my finger and took in every detail of him. I was there that day. I took the picture, but he was still mesmerizing.
Brooke cleared her throat, and I looked up.
She motioned her hand as if to say “get on with it.”
So, I did. I devoured every word of the article.
Every time the interviewer asked Tucker a question, I held my breath as I read his answer. He talked about how hard he and Liam had worked to build Rock Bottom from the ground up. He talked about their friendship. He talked about Chloe. He talked about his family, but what really caught my attention was that he talked about me.
Interviewer: The design of your restaurant is extraordinary. The space started off as a rundown building. You even have a photograph of the original building hanging in your restaurant. Where did you get your inspiration?
Tucker Moore: That original photograph actually came from the photographer who shot the images that will be featured with this article, Kennedy Hayes. When I first saw her photography, I knew I had to have her. Her vision is so strong and so creative. I wouldn’t have settled for a different photographer. She once told me that she falls in love with old buildings. She falls in love with their character, their fading and chipping paint, the story that they have to tell. She falls in love with the idea of all the lives that have happened inside those four walls. Love, laughter, and loss. How could you not be inspired by that?
My heart was pounding.
Interviewer: I agree. She sounds like an incredible photographer.
Tucker Moore: She is. She’s actually the inspiration behind our next endeavor. We have purchased an abandoned building downtown that used to be a mill many, many years ago that we are going to be turning into a bar.
Interview: Wow. Do you have a name yet?
Tucker Moore: Firecracker.
The magazine fell to my lap and I stared at the floor. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and it was taunting me. I swear it was repeating over and over. Go to him. Go to him. Go to him.
I picked the magazine back up in my trembling hands and held it against my chest. What now? What do I do? Does this mean that he doesn’t completely hate me?
How could I be so stupid? I should have gone to him and confronted him when I saw him with his sister. Instead, I was reckless. I hit my rock bottom, and I was trying to climb my way out of the hellhole of pain my family had put me in. I needed to feel something else. Anything. In return, I screwed everything up.
“Well.”
I startled when Brooke talked, completely forgetting that she was in the room.
“I… I…” I took a deep breath to help calm my nerves. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you love him?” Her words were soft, hesitant.
“Of course, I do.” I had no doubt about that. That was the one thing I was one hundred percent certain about.
“Then it is time for you to fight for your man.”
Fuck. She was right.
“What exactly is the plan again?” I walked through the aisle of slutty Halloween costumes trailing behind Brooke and Sophie. I wasn’t even sure how I got into this situation.
“We’re going to show up at the Rock Bottom Halloween party, and you are going to knock my brother off his feet.” Sophie held up a Wonder Woman costume that looked like the skirt was exactly three inches long, and I shook my head no.
“But what if he doesn’t want me there? I don’t want to upset him at his restaurant.” My fingers skimmed over a mummy costume, and I prayed that they let me pick something like it. Something that covered all my goodies.
“Did you read the article?” She put her hands on her hips. “He wants you there.”
Running my hands through my hair, I let out a sigh. I heard what she was saying and I understood why she thought that, but I was still scared to death. What if I was too late?
“What about this?” Brooke held up a costume in her hand, and if it wasn’t for the Gryffindor symbol on the breast of the shirt, I would have no idea what it was.
“Is that supposed to be Hermione?” I pulled the skirt toward me to get a better look.
“Yeah. It’s sexy Hermione.” Brooke shook her hips and I shook my head.
“That is more like slutty Hermione, and quite frankly, it’s a disgrace. Hermione Granger is one of the smartest and talented female characters of our age. We should be celebrating who her character is, not slutting it up so we have an excuse to barely wear any clothes for one night.”
Brooke rolled her eyes and plac
ed the costume back on the shelf.
“I didn’t know you were so passionate about Harry Potter.” Sophie looked at me like I was an alien.
“If there is one thing I can teach you about Kennedy, it’s to not insult the Harry Potter series. That bitch has killed people for less.” Brooke threw up her hands in what I assume was an attempt at gang signs. Sophie thought it was hilarious. I thought she looked like an idiot.
I walked away from them and picked up a Mary Poppins costume. It was adorable.
“Umm, no.” Brooke looked over my shoulder.
“Why not?” I held the costume up to my body and looked at myself in the mirror.
“We want him on his knees begging to have you back. Not running away because you look like a grandma.”
My elbow connected with her stomach and she laughed. “It’s the truth.”
“I’ve got an idea.” We both turned to look at Sophie. “You can try that on if you agree to try on one costume that each of us chooses then we’ll pick our favorite one.”
I hesitated but then thought “what the hell?” If I don’t like it, I won’t buy it so I could at least appease them. They didn’t need to know that I had no plans on actually wearing their choices.
I put on my Mary Poppins costume first and when I looked in the mirror, I frowned. Brooke was right. I looked frumpy. Not sexy at all.
When I walked out to show the girls, Brooke held her tongue but looked smug as hell.
“Next,” Sophie called out before I completely made it out of the dressing room.
Brooke’s choice was next. When she handed it to me, I almost handed it right back.
“Where’s the rest of the costume?” I called through the curtain.
“Just put it on.”
I squeezed into the cheap fabric skirt and then pulled the top over my head. I think it was supposed to be Poison Ivy, but I looked like I was trying to get laid. By anyone who was willing. By someone who would probably leave me with an itch afterward.
