by Holly Renee
“Not happening.” I turned in the mirror and could almost see the curve of my ass cheek.
The curtain was pulled back, and I thanked God that I had some clothes on even if they only covered a few inches of skin.
“You look hot,” Brooke crooned, but Sophie shook her head.
“It’s my turn now.” She handed me a long black costume before pulling the curtain closed again.
I gawked at the costume when I realized it was made of leather, skintight leather, but I shimmied into it anyways. I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it until I did.
The black body suit went all the way down to my ankles and ended just above my breasts. The top was strapless and the sweetheart neckline curved perfectly over each breast making my rack look amazing.
Sophie peeked her head into the curtain. “Need help zipping it up?”
“Yeah.” I held the fabric against my chest as she tugged the zipper up my back.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I blinked. Hard. Who was this girl? Where had she been?
The leather suit ran along every curve of my body. It accentuated the flare of my hips, the curve of my ass, and every inch of my legs. They were areas that I had always hated about myself. They were areas that I now couldn’t stop staring at.
My body looked amazing. I had never said those words before. It stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked good. Damn good.
The weeks of running with Tucker had transformed my body in ways I hadn’t even taken the time to notice.
I took a deep breath and put my hand on my stomach to try to stop the flutter of butterflies.
“What am I supposed to be?” I looked up at Sophie to see her looking at me with a devilish smile on her face.
“Cat Woman.” She dangled a mask from her hand, and I grinned.
…
It was the night before Halloween, and I wasn’t even sure how we got here. I was at Tucker’s cabin less than a month ago, but it seemed like that was a lifetime away. It had been too long since I saw him. Too long since I touched him.
My need to see him was consuming me, but my fear was greater. Every time I let myself think about the possibilities of tonight, my fear would rear its ugly head and remind me of all the times I failed. My fear lived inside me and it taunted me with ugly words that had been repeated to me so many times throughout my life.
You’re not good enough. You’re not good enough. You’re not good enough.
It didn’t matter what my parents, my brother, or my ex-boyfriends criticized me about. It always came back to one thing.
You’re not good enough.
But I wasn’t going to let it beat me. Tucker was the most amazing man I had ever met, and I would let him decide if I was good enough or not. I wouldn’t let my own fear ruin the one thing in life that I truly wanted.
“Holy shit, Kennedy.”
I turned from the mirror I was currently standing in to look at my best friend. She was dressed as a cheetah, full makeup, covered in spots, and it completely fit her personality.
“What?” I adjusted my Cat Woman mask on my face, being careful not to mess up my hair and makeup she had just spent an hour doing.
Sophie walked into my room looking cute as can be dressed as a mermaid. Baby blue mermaid hair and all.
“My brother won’t know what the hell to do when he sees you. That’s what.”
I looked in the mirror again and smiled. My body was covered in the leather body suit. My feet in a pair of heeled booties that I borrowed from Brooke that make my legs look a million times better than they did on their own. My black hair was stick straight falling over my shoulders and tucked under my mask. But then there were my eyes.
Brooke applied enough smoky makeup around my eyes to satisfy the pickiest of drag queens, but the effect was amazing when I put on my mask. My eyes popped in a way that they never had before. I looked catlike. I looked feral. My lips shined in the light as a bright cherry red coated my lips, and I couldn’t stop looking at myself.
I felt like a vamped up version of myself. I was still me, but now I was sexy, sultry, and confident. I had never felt that way in my life.
The place was completely packed when we walked into Rock Bottom. It made pride bloom in my chest for both Tucker and Liam. It looked amazing too. They had elegant Halloween decorations throughout the space.
Black and diamond encrusted pumpkins. Black and white candles scattered throughout the space creating an even more sultry effect than normal. Black spider webs hung from the ceiling and little diamond spiders twinkled in the lights.
People were packed into the space dressed in costumes that ranged from slutty nurses to zombies. Their hands were holding colorful drinks that looked like they were Halloween themed, and everyone looked like they were having an amazing time. I searched the faces around me, but I didn’t recognize anyone. No Chloe. No Liam. No Tucker.
Sophie waved us forward and Brooke and I followed behind her, pushing our way to the bar. The very crowded bar.
We finally squeezed through the bodies and Sophie raised her hand trying to get the attention of the slammed bartender. When she saw that it was going to be a while before the bartender made it to us, she leaned her back against the bar and scanned our surroundings.
“Does anyone see him?” I chewed on my lip as I tried to peek behind each mask to see if they hid Tucker.
“Not yet. He’s here though.” Sophie held up her phone. “He just texted me a little bit ago.”
“You didn’t tell him I was coming though, right?” I didn’t know why it mattered so much to me, but I worried that if he knew I was here he wouldn’t show his face.
“And miss his reaction when he sees you? Hell no.”
Fingertips trailed across my back and I held my breath. Shit, shit, shit. I wasn’t ready for this. I was going to hyperventilate.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”
I turned my attention over my shoulder and stared into the bright blue eyes of Jase. Fuck, he was hot.
His chest was completely bare, and I worked my gaze down his impressive ridges of muscle to see he was wearing nothing but a pair of black Calvin Klein underwear and a pair of Chuck Taylor’s.
“What the hell are you supposed to be?” Sophie’s voice worked its way through my brain and reminded me that I was standing there staring at a half-naked Jase with my mouth hanging open.
“I’m an underwear model. Isn’t it obvious?” He put his hands on his hips and it made his abs constrict under the movement.
Sophie snorted a very unladylike sound, and he turned his sharp eyes on her.
“Very original there, Jase.”
He put his hand over his heart. “Wow. A compliment from Sophie Moore. I thought I’d never see the day.”
Sophie rolled her eyes but didn’t reply.
“Well, Cat Woman,” he brought his attention back to me, “are you here to get my boy back or do I get my chance to sweep you off your feet tonight?”
“Sorry, Jase. I’m here on a mission.” I winked at him. I felt so much more powerful in the costume.
“I would tell you knock him dead, but he’s going to die when he sees you. You look smokin’.” With that, he kissed me on my cheek and was gone again, disappearing in the sea of bodies.
“I seriously can’t stand that asshole.” Sophie was staring daggers in the direction that Jase just disappeared.
“What’s the story there?” Brooke nodded her head in the same direction.
“Not one I want to get into tonight.”
Sophie’s face looked flushed, and I knew that there was something going on between them. I just wasn’t sure what.
After thirty minutes of not seeing Tucker, I was getting frustrated. My heart raced any time a guy would walk by me that had a similar build to Tucker, but as soon as I saw that their eyes weren’t chocolate brown ones with a small fleck of gold, I got even more irritable.
I excused myself from the girls to run to the restroom to
give myself a moment to breathe. The body suit seemed to be getting tighter and tighter as the night went on, but I knew it was due to my own anxiety and the crushing feeling that tonight wouldn’t work out.
I stared at myself in the mirror and really looked into my own eyes. I could see my fear staring back at me. It was taunting me, letting me know that it was in charge. It was always in charge. I quickly looked away.
The urge to run out of there was overwhelming. The thought of being in my apartment surrounded by my things was comforting, but it hadn’t felt right in quite some time. It hadn’t felt right to be alone in my space without Tucker since I met him. Damn him for destroying my comfort zone. He obliterated it.
Not tonight. I wouldn’t run tonight. Tucker deserved more than a girl who was willing to run. He deserved a girl that would fight for him. He deserved more than I could ever give him. He deserved a girl who was braver than me, but tonight I was Cat Woman. I stared at myself in the mirror again. Tonight, I wasn’t the scared girl who ran from her fears. Tonight, I was a fucking super hero.
There was a different woman stepping out of the restroom than the one who walked in it only moments before. I stood up straighter, my steps were surer, and I was on a mission.
Tucker would either forgive me or he wouldn’t, but I wasn’t giving up until I tried.
I spotted Sophie and Brooke still at the bar as soon as I stepped out, but they weren’t alone. Two men were standing in front of them talking, and I knew, I just knew it was him.
He was standing there in a black suit and black cape. His normally unruly hair was combed back perfectly, and although I knew in the moment I saw his mask that Sophie had set me up, he looked amazing.
“Batman.”
His brown eyes flew to me as soon as I spoke the words, and I knew he wasn’t expecting me to be here. That was clearly evident by the shock on his face.
He didn’t say a word for a moment or two. He just slowly ran his eyes over me from the top of my cat mask to the tip of my booted toes. Chill bumps broke out across my skin and anxiety bloomed in my belly. He made me nervous. He made me feel alive.
“Holy shit.” His voice was a whisper, barely there, only meant for me, and my eyes flew up to meet his.
“Hi,” I squeaked out, having no idea what to say.
He didn’t reply though. Instead, he ran his hands roughly through his hair, completely messing it up, and tugged on the ends while staring at me with a mixture of lust and anger. I could see the two emotions dueling in his eyes.
I looked to my friends for a clue as to what to do or say, but Sophie was pretending to talk to Liam while they both watched us out of the corner of their eyes while Brooke just stared at the ceiling as soon as I looked at her. Great help.
“Look, Tuck.” I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to say something. I couldn’t just stand here while he stared at me.
My voice broke something inside of him. As soon as I said his name, the name I called him, he wrapped my right hand in his and charged his way through the crowd to the back of the restaurant. I tried to keep up in my boots as he took long, powerful strides, but there were a few times that I was sure that I would fall on my face.
The door slammed shut behind us as we made it into the back, and although the volume dropped significantly, there were a whole new plethora of sounds. Pans banging, cooks talking, dishes clanging against each other. It reminded me of how much Tucker was responsible for. Of how much he had accomplished.
He continued to pull me toward the back of the building until we came to a space I had never been to before. He pulled a key from his pocket, opened the door, and then pulled me in after him.
A large desk filled most of the space with a sleek black chair situated behind it. Shelves ran along one wall and were filled with books, binders, and documents. I imagined him working alone in this room. I could see him running his hands through his hair when he was frustrated and him biting his lip when he was concentrating hard.
The click of the lock drew my attention away from taking in the office and back to the man who I had fallen desperately in love with.
His normally brown eyes were almost black and a thrill ran through me. He had the power to completely destroy me, ruin me, but I didn’t want a perfect fairy tale with anyone else. I didn’t need a happily ever after. All I needed was whatever he was willing to give. I needed it like my last breath.
He stepped closer to me, and I took a step back against his desk to help hold myself up. I felt like my knees would buckle at any moment.
I didn’t speak because I didn’t want to break the spell he seemed to be under. The one that was clouding my head as fiercely as it was clouding his. I didn’t want him to remember that I was the girl who ruined us. That I was the girl he didn’t want.
He stopped when he was barely an inch away from me. I could feel his breath against my face as he drug ragged breaths in and out. I looked up at him begging him to do something, to say something.
His hand touched the side of my neck and I jumped slightly at the feel of his skin on mine. That one touch had me falling apart. He pushed me over the edge and I was like an avalanche falling from the top. There was no stopping it. No graceful downfall. I was plummeting down at full speed and I wasn’t sure what would be left of me when I stopped. If I ever stopped.
A whimper left my mouth as his hand crawled up my neck and caressed my cheek. He lifted the mask gently, pulling it away from my face, removing my façade, stripping me of my false bravado.
“You are so damn beautiful.” His words a whisper on my lips.
Taunting me.
“Please, Tucker.”
I couldn’t take anymore. My need for him was a desperation. My heart thundered in my chest.
He threaded his fingers in my hair. Both hands cradling my head, angling my face up to his, putting him in complete control.
He tugged my hair back sharply, but not painfully, and I gasped at the sudden change of pace. He took full advantage too. He traced my lips with his tongue, pulling back when I desperately tried to press my lips against his. His mouth evaded mine and pressed a light kiss against my neck. I was sure he could feel my heavy pulse against his lips. He could feel the quick rhythm pounding against his tongue.
His hands trailed down my body. My skin burned in the path of his hands, the thin layer of leather not protecting me in the least. His fingers bit into the skin of my hips, and I winced slightly at the pain before he spun me around like a rag doll and pressed his front to my back.
His face tucked into the crook of my neck breathing me in. My chest rose and fell in rapid succession. Arousal and fear of what was happening between us were battling inside me. One barely taking the lead before the other would fight its way back to the top.
His hands roamed over my leather costume. One hand running over my belly through the center of my breasts until it reached my chest. The other crept down my thigh barely missing where I needed him the most. Causing me to groan in frustration.
“What’s wrong, Kennedy?” he whispered against my skin, his mouth resting just below my ear. “Do you need my cock or my mouth? Tell me what you need from your fuck buddy.”
His words cut me like a knife.
Deep.
Scarring.
“Tuck.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to correct what I had done.
“Yeah?” His teeth grazed against my sensitive skin. “Did your last fuck buddy not give you what you need? Did he not know how to work your body the way I do?”
I straightened my spine against him, but I didn’t answer. He knew that guy left my apartment. He forced him to.
He pushed on the center of my back and I let him. He pushed me until my chest pressed against his desk, my ass on full display still pressed against him. He ran his hands down my back and over my ass.
“Did you wear this for me, Firecracker?”
A tear ran down my temple and landed on his desk, but I wouldn’t dare wipe
it away. He needed this. This was his revenge. I would let him have it. I wasn’t sure how I would survive it, but I would give it to him just the same.
The zipper of my body suit slowly moved down my body. The sound of its teeth unlocking from one another echoing throughout the room. My body didn’t care about his cruel words. It just needed him. My heart be damned.
His rough fingertips ran down my naked back then he reached his hand inside the fabric, his palm against my stomach. His tender touch betraying his words. He lifted my body back against him before gently turning me around and sitting me on the edge of his desk.
His gaze ran over my lace covered breasts before moving to my face. As soon as his eyes met mine, his entire demeanor changed. I could see the shift in his eyes. I could feel it throughout my entire body. It pierced my soul.
“Kennedy.” His pain was clear.
I blinked my eyes closed and willed my tears to quit falling.
The feeling of his lips against my cheek caused a sob to pour out of me as he caught my tears. His lips now wet as they moved across my skin.
“God, babe. I am so sorry.” His words were broken and so was I.
Tears streamed down my face, but I looked through them to see him. To see the sincerity on his face.
“Tucker, I don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry.”
He wrapped me in his arms, my half naked chest pressed against him.
“You don’t have to do anything. We both fucked up. We’ve both been so selfish.”
He was right, but his sins weren’t equal with mine.
He deserved more than I was giving him.
His hands wrapped in my hair once more, this time gentler, and he arched my neck until my lips were reaching up to meet his. I could taste my tears on his lips when he pressed them against mine. His movements were hungry but reserved. I could practically feel his tension radiating under my fingertips. He was so controlled and so restrained.
I hated it.
I didn’t want him to water down what he was feeling for me. If he was angry, I wanted him to bruise my lips with his anger. If he was hurt, I wanted him to take it out on me. I would take anything he would give me, but I couldn’t stand to watch him hold himself back while I fell completely apart.
