Maybe he involved me in his decision making not because he saw potential, but because of his dick. I guess that’s all I had to offer. Trevor used me to make porn. My opinion or consent on the matter didn’t even enter his mind. Henrik tried to steal my idea while using me so many times and letting me take the fall whenever we were caught.
These people didn’t see much in me and perhaps it was time I realized they were right.
I heard my dad bellow as he lifted his hand with his glass and his ill-fitting navy blazer rode up his arm. “We are paying. I don’t want to hear a word of protest, and that goes for you too, Aria. I am so proud of my baby girl. You set your mind on something and here you are. Only thirty and in just a few weeks you will be an executive with Mimir.”
His grin broke my heart. My parents didn’t know how I struggled here. No one knew. They just saw a woman working toward a dream and had no idea that I worried if I would even graduate from the program.
He began with a speech, as he loved to do. It’s one of his favorite pastimes, other than watching baseball, football, and discussing World War Two.
Everyone raised their glasses to me, and I felt my heart slide down before beating helplessly on the floor. I wanted to cry and tell them no, they shouldn’t be proud. I was a failure. This was all a mistake.
I just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and watch The Walking Dead so I could be happy knowing I wasn’t surrounded by zombies.
My dad droned on his little speech as my mom pulled me close to whisper, “To my sweet daughter, who is the strongest woman I know. But just in case, I got you this.”
My mom, in a pretty floral print sweater and simple gold chain, dug into her purse to slide a small brown box toward me. I glanced at a frowning Aria as she shrugged her shoulders.
When I lifted the top to the box, I saw a small key ring with a red metal cylinder attached and a black plastic latch at the end.
“What is this?” I picked up the small object that had some weight to it.
The first thing to flash in my mind was a vibrator.
“Your mom surely would have given you that in private, Morgana. Like when you were sixteen, and she gave you Ben, your first mechanical boyfriend.” Brain eyed the red object with confusion.
You’re right, Brain, but that was when I was sixteen. You know my mom, maybe she thinks that since I am an adult, it’s okay to do these things in the middle of a fancy restaurant.
“Maybe. Well, at least she won’t give you ‘the talk’ again. I don’t think there was enough bleach to make that speech dissolve.”
My mom first gave me “the talk” when I was ten, but at sixteen, we had the talk again. That time she gave me a vibrator and told me to learn my body. She explained that every woman was different, so if I ever expected a man to know what to do, I had to be able to show him what I liked.
That conversation mortified me, of course. My eyes glued to the worn Barbie rug I had in my bedroom, while my face turned the color of the rug. I took the vibrator with shaky hands and a few days later, my curiosity got the better of me. It was a bit of a mind-fuck at first, but I haven’t looked back since.
“It’s pepper spray. You can never be too careful in a big city like New York, all alone.” Mom patted my hand while taking a sip of her wine.
“I lived in Chicago for years and you never gave me pepper spray. Why now?”
“We lived right down the road. If you needed help you could always call us. But here, we are a two-hour flight away, how can we help when you need us?”
She was shaking her head at me like crazy was the new black. I was staring at her trying my best to make sense of her logic.
“Yes but—” The waiter arrived cut off my questions.
We placed our order. I decided to just leave the argument with my mother alone and accept her gift.
“So, your roommate is hot,” Aria leaned in and whispered rather loudly.
I nodded. Jamie was very good looking with his surfer waves and sleek runner’s body, but Aria didn’t really know him like I did.
“Not interested. If you like him I am sure he would love to show you around New York. And by show you around New York, I mean his penis.”
“Uh, that’s okay. I am taking a break from the whole sleeping around thing. I just wanted to mention that I approve if you were interested in him. So, feel free to be shown around New York if you wish. Ha . . . ha . . . ha.”
The giggle from Aria was weird enough. She didn’t giggle. That’s not to say Aria didn’t have a sense of humor and laugh, but when she did it sounded more like it came from the belly of a two-hundred-pound seaman, rather than what I heard now. It’s as if I was sitting next to a twelve-year-old girl talking about her crush.
“Is something going on, Aria? Do you have VD?”
She frowned at me shaking her head. I had never seen Aria swear off men. That was the only logical conclusion.
“No, I don’t have a disease. There is just a guy I like and I kind of want to only be with him. That’s all.”
“WHAT!” My voice was higher pitched than I wanted causing my parents to turn in our direction.
“Oh. My. God. Aria has a boyfriend. I never thought this day would come. How was I not aware of this? Is he a vampire or something, only coming out at night?”
Aria cringed at my joke.
“Wow. That is great news, Aria. Here’s to Aria and her new love,” my dad announced rising and picking up his glass for another speech. He was stopped short by my grandmother who grabbed his arm pulling him back down.
“Love is overrated.” Defeat was palpable in my grandma’s tone as she folded her arms over her chest. Which, I might add, was looking pleasantly plumped up today.
Her very low-cut plum colored wrap dress made her appear much younger than her eighty-two years. Her blue hair was up in an elegant French twist and long gold earrings dangled from her ears, accentuating her long neck. She was also eyeing every male in the room in the twenty-five and above age bracket as if they were a delectable dessert.
“Well, I think love is a beautiful thing, Aria. I am very happy for you. I hope you bring him to the welcome home dinner I am having in a few weeks when Morgana comes home. We would love to meet him.”
Aria appeared to have been choking yet she hadn’t eaten anything. Her eyes grew wild as her hand clawed at her throat.
“Uh, I need to get some fresh air for a few minutes. I’ll be right back.” Aria stumbled up and raced toward the restrooms, her green swing dress shimmying as she went.
After a few minutes, I excused myself and went to find Aria. Pushing open the door to the women’s restroom, I called out for her but there was no answer. Making my way down the white subway tiled wall, I looked upon the last dark wood stall door. This was the only door closed and I heard movement behind there.
Looking under the stall, I saw no feet but the sound of ragged breath giving her away.
“Come on Aria, we won’t talk about your boyfriend anymore if you don’t want us to. Everyone was just excited that you found someone. Just let us have our moment.” I giggled as my hand gave a slight push to the door.
My head hummed immediately, and for a second I thought I imagined things. But as he moved off the toilet I shuddered from my discovery.
“Hello, Morgana,” Henrik said as he straightened and adjusted his blue and white polka dot tie.
THIRTY
Morgana’s Problem
The Bathroom
I despised the perfectly tailored, coffee colored linen suit that accentuated his toned form.
And that blue tie seemed to enhance the hue in his eyes making them even more smoldering. Like they were spraying smolder at me, disgusting.
Even his thick pink bottom lip that he was chewing had me breaking out into a sweat.
“What, what are you doing here, Hen . . . Mr. Payne?”
Despite his stimulating appearance, I managed to recall how much this man had hurt me.
Brain, rememb
er, I hate him.
“Oh yeah, Morgana. I will remind you any chance I get. All he is doing is wearing clothing. Don’t let his sexy body-hugging suit distract you. Everyone has to wear clothes to go outside, it’s the law—” Brain was swiftly cut off by my heart.
“But remember what’s under that shirt, that tie, and those pants. His ripped body, those hot tattoos, and that scar on his chest that you never got to ask him about. Probably rescuing kittens from a burning tree. Remember, Morgana?”
I shook my head and did my best to shut down Heart. Even Vagina was coming to life and if she started talking, her lips would destroy everything.
All the time the past three weeks I spent trying to get over Henrik. If Vagina and Heart had their way, it would all have been for nothing. Even my work in the program might be compromised. Henrik could have been here to steal some more ideas from me.
Well, the jokes on him, I don’t have good ideas anymore.
“I’m following you.” He clasped his hands on either side of the top of the stall walls. Henrik seemed big, somehow larger than I remembered. His eyes darker and more focused.
Folding my arms with a breathy laugh I stated, “That’s not normal.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay, here, in New York.”
He smiled and it was surprising. Whenever he grinned in the past it felt a bit forced, only a few times did I believe he was genuine. But this was soft, like I was talking to some doppelganger Henrik who’s rich with happiness.
“So, you just decided the best place to make sure I was all right was in a women’s toilet stall at a restaurant?”
He shrugged. “You used to hang out in the men’s restroom back at Mimir if I recall.”
My eyes widened. “That was once.”
I waved my hands. “Moving on. Be honest with me for once. Why are you here?”
He took a deep breath and pulled me into the stall. He surrounded me as the door closed. The warm, spiced scent was so familiar now despite my misgivings when it came to Henrik.
Even his large frame seemed to touch every part of me without ever coming in contact. He must have been doing this on purpose. Trying to mess with me, throw me off course so that I was too confused and unable to finish the program.
Even his hot breath as it tickled down my cheek to my neck was timed so perfectly as to render me incapable of walking away.
“I want to tell you how proud I am that you got into the program. When I heard the news . . . well, I’m happy for you, Morgana.”
I gazed into those deep blue eyes for any hint of sarcasm and only found sincerity. There was an ease to his face, no hard lines or frustrated smiles. Henrik did appear happy, and for that moment I wondered if his happiness had nothing to do with me.
Was he happier without me?
The question should have explained everything. Perhaps he stole my idea, not to further his career but to get away from me. If I were fired he wouldn’t have to see me again.
His words of love just before we were caught were said in a moment of passion. Not because he meant them; no, it was his cock doing the talking. An opportunity appeared to leave me and he took it.
Why did that idea hurt even more?
But that still didn’t explain why he would be here now.
Stealing my breath, I held his gaze. “I’m sure you are, Mr. Payne. You got what you came for, to see how I was. Wish me well. But if it’s ideas you are looking for, I won’t be fooled so easily this time.”
He swallowed but it looked painful. Some bad taste in his mouth, like thievery.
“I understand you want nothing to do with me.”
Snorting, I nodded. “You got that right, Mr. Payne. Now if you don’t mind, I would like to return to lunch with my parents as they came a long way to see me.”
I reached for the lock on the door but he was too swift. His fingers curled over mine, and for a moment I was frozen by the electric heat migrating up my arm. It had lingered only briefly at my heart before it moved lower. So low I had to stifle a moan.
“Please, don’t go.”
That please felt like a raging storm of pain as it hurtled toward my ear on his whispered breath.
Henrik beg? I had never heard Henrik utter that word to anyone, including me. The joy in his gaze darkened as he lifted my hand to his lips.
“I’m sorry, Morgana. I never wanted to hurt you.”
That ache in his voice snagged my chest and I let him. When his lips moved from my palm to the indent in my elbow, I didn’t pull away. Even as his fingers drifted down my side finding the hem of my floral dress, lifting, I couldn’t even push him away.
“Please let me take away the pain.”
I swallowed down the confusion as warmth spread from his fingertips. They tickled my thigh and pushed past my panties before sliding inside me. His lips found my neck as his fingers indulged in using me.
And I let him.
I spread my legs just an inch or two but enough for Henrik to rub his thumb just right. My head was a jumble of thoughts, but mostly how good that felt. His shoulders still as firm and corded as I remember, allowing me to grip them for support.
His greedy lips neared my ear but slowly slipped away to be replaced with teeth.
This was the Henrik I remembered. As if sex would solve everything. He thought a few orgasms and all thoughts of distribution ideas and empty words of love would disappear.
But he was wrong. This time I don’t think I could forget. He won’t change, I know that now. That his attraction to my body was just that. There was nothing deeper he could give because Henrik was an empty shell of a man.
He warned me once how he didn’t do relationships, I should have listened.
It was his voice that was hoarse, his breath shuddered as my hand glided down his stomach before pressing against the hardness of his cock. Even the fingers of my other hand that had moved up to curl into his hair, pulling his head back seemed to make him groan.
I wanted him to see me. Watch what his fingers did to me as they worked my pussy. My breath became unsteady, and his other hand slipped to my spiked nipples, pinching them through the fabric, and yet I kept my gaze on him.
“You’re worth everything,” he said.
My eyes flickered closed for only a second at his words, but I forced myself to deny them. It’s more of his lies. Every word that dripped like syrup from his lips won’t be gobbled up by me. Every stroke of his hand won’t have me whimpering his name.
This time I would leave him wanting.
This time I would pretend nothing happened.
This time, when the orgasm came . . .
“That’s it. Come for me, Morgana.”
His thumb became more frantic as it rubbed my clit. Henrik hooked his fingers as I rode his hand. My hips gyrated erratically as I felt myself tighten. Until it all crashed.
I arched my back, my hand covering his, slowing but deepening the grind. As much as I wanted to close my eyes and become lost in my climax, they stayed on him.
Relief and joy seemed to etch his features as if he was the one coming. But his expression didn’t last. Once I moaned and let out how I felt as I shuddered my release, his face fell.
“Not for you.”
Henrik wanted to pull me closer, maybe even kiss me in an effort that he misheard me. His fingers slipped and I pushed away, straightening myself.
He was hurt.
I should have been happy. The combination of the orgasm and treating him as he had treated me for so long should have had me glowing. So, why was there a hardness in my stomach?
Why did I want to push him aside so I could throw up in the toilet?
Henrik opened his mouth, but our heads turned to the bang of the bathroom door opening.
“Morgana?” Aria’s voice filtered through the room.
I kept my eyes fixed on the direction of her voice, unable to watch the vulnerability I left with my words. His raspy breath, the sweet, sticky scent of us that surrounded me
in this tiny metal room felt claustrophobic. I reached for the lock to open the stall door but this time Henrik didn’t stop me.
“There you are, Morgana. Did you have a case of the squirts . . .”
Aria gasped when she reached the stall and saw Henrik.
“You! Don’t you touch her.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the front of the bathroom. Aria stopped as she opened the door and we both looked back.
Henrik was standing just outside the stall, his mouth open, about to talk.
“Save us from your pathetic lies, Mr. Payne. Your dark, sexy thing may have fooled Morgana, but I see who you really are. Oh, by the way, I talked to my dad about what you did, and he thinks Morgana has a case against you. That’s right, my dad the lawyer is ready to sue.”
She hasn’t spoken to her father in years. There would be no suit against Henrik. She let me cry on her shoulder for a long time over Henrik, the least I could do was let her have her say.
Aria leaned her head toward the open door and raised her voice, “Morgana doesn’t need some pervy guy who likes to hang out in women’s bathrooms!”
I turned my head to find an older man in a black suit with graying temples and some balding on top stride toward us.
“Is everything all right, ladies?” He stopped just in front of the restroom.
“No. I just caught some creeper in there trying to watch my friend pee,” Aria explained as she pulled me out and toward our table.
As I took my seat, my food already waiting for me, I turned to see Henrik being escorted out of the restaurant by the balding man and another large guy with blond hair. Henrik twisted his head toward me. What I found there surprised me.
I expected hurt, maybe even anger, but it was nothing like that. A whisper of a smile burnished his lips that I knew was just for me. Despite how I left things and what I said, he was still happy.
Turning back to the table, my eyes focused on the perfectly cooked chicken breast. The food turning to a blur as my eyes watered.
Rules of Payne (Cake Love Book 1) Page 17
