Going Home

by Judith Keim

  “Yes, please,” said Lettie. “Wait until you taste it, Autumn. It’s delicious.”

  Rita set Cami down on the spotless kitchen floor and handed her a couple of wooden spoons, several plastic bowls, and opened a small bag of wooden blocks for her.

  “With the birth of Sophia’s baby, how many grandchildren and great-grandchildren do you have now?” Lettie asked.

  “Twenty-two,” Rita replied with a sense of pride. “And I love them all.” She cast a warm glance at Cami. “Especially this little surprise.”

  “It’s nice that she has you. I never had any family around in my life,” said Autumn.

  “True, but a lot of other women were there for you—Paloma, Abby, Terri, and, now, Lisa,” Lettie quickly said.

  “Yes,” Autumn agreed, “but they were more like mothers.”

  “Good women. All of them,” said Rita with conviction.

  After serving each of them mugs of coffee, Rita took a seat opposite Autumn. Smiling at her, she said, “You are a surprise too. I knew you as a baby when I used to cook some meals for the inn before it became so big. Since then you’ve grown and traveled and become a mother. And now you’re a Lopez. A surprise for you too, no?”

  Lettie could see how startled Autumn was by Rita’s directness, but she was glad to have the issue addressed right up front. Rita was a woman who had a lot of pride. She was loyal and loving to friends but was a fierce defender to those who dared to disrespect her or a member of her family. As she waited for Autumn to respond, Lettie held her breath. Her daughter could be very blunt at times.

  “It was more than a surprise,” said Autumn. “It was a total shock. I thought I knew who I was and suddenly everything I believed about myself was wrong. In a way, it was as if someone had died in the family. But after talking to my Mom and to Rafe, I realize I come from a good family on my father’s side.” She gave Lettie a sympathetic smile and turned back to Rita. “Of course, we don’t know much if anything about my mother’s family. So, it’s nice to have some information on my background.”

  “Yes, I can imagine how you feel,” said Rita quietly. “In your case, you’ve lost something. And for my family, we’ve gained from it. You mean everything to my son, and he means everything to me. I pray you don’t hurt him. You have it within your power to do so.”

  Autumn shook her head vehemently. “I don’t ever want to do that. I see how much he loves Cami and how devoted he is to my mother.”

  Rita nodded with satisfaction. “You came from their love. Rafe has loved your mother for years. It’s too bad we wouldn’t acknowledge it. Then, who knows what might have happened?”

  Lettie’s vision blurred when Rita squeezed her hand. She was saved from responding when Cami let out a cry and threw down the wooden spoon onto the floor. Rising to her feet, she walked over to Rita and stood facing her. “Cuck?”

  “Cookie?” said Rita smiling. She turned to them. “Okay with everyone if I give her a cookie?”

  “It’s fine with me. Just one,” said Autumn. “I can see she’s got both of you wrapped around her little finger.”

  Rita’s smile was bright. “One of the joys of being a great-grandmother is the ability to do a little spoiling.”

  “Oh, yes,” said Lettie. “And I love being a grandmother.”

  Rita got to her feet. “I’ll be right back. I want to get the photo album.”

  After Rita left the room, Autumn turned to Lettie. “She’s so nice, and I’d forgotten how pretty she is.”

  “Good genes,” Lettie said, arching an eyebrow at her.

  Autumn laughed and shook her head. “I’m glad you insisted I come here today.”

  “Me, too,” said Lettie, happy her daughter was finding her family.

  Rita returned carrying what looked like a large, very thick book.

  She plopped it on the table and said, “Prepare yourself.”

  “Exactly,” said Lettie rising. “I’ve already been initiated into the family history. Now, it’s your turn.” She spoke to Rita. “If you don’t mind, I’ll leave the two of you to it. I need to get back to the inn.”

  “Of course. I understand,” said Rita, starting to rise. “Thanks for coming.”

  Lettie waved her back in her seat. “No need to walk me to the door. I’ll let myself out.”

  “Thanks,” said Rita, already opening the book.

  As Lettie later told Rafe, things could not have gone better. An only child, Autumn was loving the idea of a large family.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  The time came for Autumn and Cami to leave. As Lettie drove them to the airport, she couldn’t stop tears from rolling down her cheeks. She loved her daughter and adored her granddaughter. She would miss them more than either of them knew. Though she should have been aware of it long ago, it seemed a cruel twist of fate to have been given the care of Cami and then have her taken away.

  “I’m sorry, Mom, but you know it’s best for Cami to be with me, right?”

  Lettie reluctantly nodded. “I just wish you lived closer. After that trip to and from Vail, I’ve become even more terrified of flying. I honestly don’t think I can ever get on a plane again.”

  Autumn gave her a look of sympathy. “We’ll visit as often as we can.”

  “I know, but it won’t be the same as if you were living nearby. And the coming and going will be heartbreaking.”

  “It’s the best I can do. I have a rewarding life of my own doing for others,” said Autumn with a quiet firmness.

  At the finality in her voice, Lettie winced. She told herself to pull it together, vowing to be brave, even if it destroyed a part of her heart forever.

  Lettie pulled up to the terminal. They’d already agreed she would not go inside with them. She did, however, get out of the car to help with the suitcases.

  “Here, hold her while I get someone to take the luggage.” Autumn handed Cami to her.

  Lettie held on tight to Cami. Feeling her eyes fill with tears, she hastily blinked them away to keep from frightening the little girl she loved with all her heart.

  “Nonnee loves you. I’ll send you pictures of ’Afe and me and the inn. I don’t want you to forget us, hear?” Her voice broke. “Love you, little one.”

  Cami looked at her with concern. “Nonnee,” she said, touching the tears at the corner of Lettie’s eyes.

  Lettie grabbed Cami’s hand and kissed it.

  “Time to go!” Autumn said, approaching them, breaking the magical spell of the moment. She swept Cami out of Lettie’s arms.

  “I know you don’t like goodbyes, so we won’t linger.” Autumn gave her a quick kiss. “Love you, Mom. I’ll let you know when we can come for a visit.” Her eyes filled. She turned away and hurried into the terminal with Cami, who looked over her mother’s shoulder and stared at Lettie.

  Lettie stood for a moment, frozen by shock and horror. Cami was gone.

  Blinded by the tears she couldn’t hold back any longer, she stumbled to her car and got in. A policeman motioned impatiently for her to move, and she pulled away from the curb feeling as if the world had come to an end.

  On the ride home, Lettie’s mind was crowded with memories of Cami’s first few teeth, her first steps, her first words. How, can I live without her? Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks in painful streaks.

  ###

  When Lettie pulled into the driveway of her house, she was relieved to see Rafe’s silver truck parked there. He, of all people, would understand the pain ripping her apart and would comfort her as only he could.

  She got out of her car and headed toward the front door.

  Rafe appeared from the side of the house shouting, “Babe! Stop!”

  But the little golden puppy kept running straight toward her, and then suddenly reversed course and ran back toward Rafe.

  Laughing, Rafe caught the puppy in his grip.

  Approaching her with the dog, Rafe grinned. “Thought we could use another baby around here. What do you think?”


  He placed the squirming puppy in Lettie’s arms. The bright-eyed pup looked into her eyes and then a warm, pink tongue licked the salty trail of tears from her cheek. Lettie hugged the puppy tight. It momentarily laid its head on Lettie’s shoulder, and then, bursting with energy, it squirmed to get down.

  Lettie set the puppy on the grass and smiled up at Rafe. “It’s a girl. Where did you get her? She’s a yellow lab, right?”

  “Yes. She’s a nice puppy, ten weeks old. I contacted a kennel outside of Portland a while ago. She’s a cuddly one, so I’ve been calling her Babe. But it’s up to you to name her.”

  “No, no. I like Babe. It’s close to Baby, which I sometimes used to call Cami.” Her eyes filmed over with the tears she tried to hold back.

  Rafe opened his arms, and Lettie hurried into them. There, in the comfort of his embrace, she allowed her tears to flow.

  When she quieted, Rafe tipped her face up. “It’s going to be all right. I’ve taken the rest of the afternoon off. It looks like rain. Let’s go inside.”

  They called to the puppy, who, curious as ever, bounded over to them and stood wagging her tail at them before following them inside.

  Lettie was surprised to see that a doggie cage had already been set up in the kitchen. A bag of puppy food, several toys, a soft, pink blanket, and puppy pads sat on the counter.

  “You really planned this.” Lettie gave Rafe a grateful smile.

  “Yeah, I knew you’d be upset when Cami left.”

  She caressed his cheek. “I love you.”

  He grinned. “I know.”

  “Do me a favor, please” she said. “I want all the furniture removed from the nursery. I don’t think I could bear to see that empty crib. I’m giving it and the rest of the furniture to a staff member. And someday, when I’m feeling a little better, we can pick out furniture for an older child. Autumn promised she’d bring Cami for a visit as often as she could.”

  “I understand. I miss Cami already.”

  With a quiet sadness, they placed the baby furniture in the garage to be picked up later.

  Standing in the empty room, Lettie’s shoulders slumped. “It seems like a bad dream to have her gone. In so many ways, Cami seemed like my baby, not Autumn’s.”

  Rafe put an arm around her. “That’s natural. You had the care of her for most of the first two years of her life.”

  “I wonder if she’ll remember me when I see her next.”

  Rafe gave her an impish grin. “Haven’t I told you, you’re unforgettable.?”

  Her lips curved. “Many times.”

  His lips met hers. The warmth of his kiss filled a tiny bit of the hollowness inside her and sent a frisson of need through her.

  As if he sensed what she was feeling, Rafe pulled away and said in a hushed voice, “Let me love you.”

  “Yes, please.” Having felt such loss, Lettie wanted to feel life at its best—making love with Rafe.

  Babe trotted after them into the bedroom.

  Lettie went back to the kitchen, took the doggy blanket from the counter, and placed it in the far corner of the room. The exhausted puppy lay down on it and was soon fast asleep.

  Nodding toward the dog and then giving her a devilish grin, Rafe said, “That pup better get used to this.” He pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it aside.

  Studying his next movements, Lettie took off her pants and blouse and watched him undress. At the sight of his naked body, excitement wove its way through her and settled in her core. She needed this act of life when a part of her was dead inside.

  Rafe swept her up into his arms. “I love you!”

  She smiled at him. “And I love you.”

  He placed her on the bed, and she opened her arms to him.

  ###

  Later, her thoughts turned to Cami. “Do you suppose Cami will miss me?”

  “I’m sure she will, but we’ll keep in touch the best we can.” Rafe gently twined his fingers through her curls as she lay against his broad, muscular chest.

  “I bought Autumn a new computer and had it shipped to her,” said Lettie. “She promised to keep in touch that way. I also bought her a new camera, a Canon. She’ll be able to send us pictures with it.”

  “Okay, Nonnee, you’ve done what you could. Autumn knows how much we love our grandchild. I believe she’ll keep us informed.” He kissed her. “Let’s go for a walk through the vineyard. That always makes you feel better.”

  Lettie got out of bed with a smile. Rafe knew her so well.

  Outside, they walked hand in hand over her land. Babe raced in circles around them.

  “Who’s going to get up at night to let the dog out?” Lettie gave Rafe a pointed look.

  He raised his right hand. “As long as I get to sleep with you, I’ll do my share. I promise.”

  She gave him a playful push. “You’d better.”

  As they walked along the rows of grapes, they automatically checked the canopy to make sure sunlight could reach all the grapes evenly.

  “I think it’s going to be a good year,” Lettie said. “Scott thinks so too.”

  “Scott Kurey is a good winemaker. So are you. The two of you will make something spectacular.”

  “You make some pretty wonderful wines yourself.” She loved that Rafe appreciated all she’d learned. She remembered the first time she’d tried wine with Rafe and Kenton. Even back then, Rafe had thought she had a good palate for wine.

  “I’m anxious to meet Sam Farley,” she said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do so earlier, but with Autumn and Cami gone, I can once more concentrate on Chandler Hill.”

  “I’ve set aside tomorrow morning to be with him. Even though our properties are next to one another, there are slight nuances to the growing of the grapes. I figure I’ll meet with him first and then bring him over here. Let’s have lunch together at the inn, and then he’s all yours.”

  “Sounds good. Ready for dinner?”

  “Sure. Let’s go back. If you want, we can go into town for some Italian food at Nick’s.”

  “That sounds nice. I’ve been so busy with Cami, I haven’t had the opportunity to be social.”

  At the house, Lettie changed into a simple, sleeveless cotton sheath in her favorite light pink. McMinnville was not a fancy place, and although the food at Nick’s was excellent, the atmosphere was super casual. Still, Lettie wanted to look her best. Though the town was filling with more and more tourists, it was still the place where old friends could meet.

  ###

  When they walked into Nick’s, she waved to Rafe’s cousin, Elise, who was a waitress there, and quickly moved away from the tables in the front of the restaurant by the window. She had no desire to have any conversation with Rod Mitchell. He was sitting at a table with a blonde who looked like a starved “wannabe starlet” from California.

  She was grateful when Mark Pierce called out to them. A fellow vintner, he’d established his vineyard in the mid-’80s and was doing very well. Lettie had always liked him and his wife, Jeanne.

  “How are you doing?” Mark stood as they approached his table. “We just ordered. Want to join us?”

  Lettie cast a glance at Rafe. At his smile, she said, “That would be nice. I’ve been a bit isolated by the care of my granddaughter.”

  “I heard she was due to go back soon,” said Jeanne.

  Blinking away the sting of tears, Lettie said, “Autumn and Cami left this morning.”

  “But Lettie has a new little one to care for,” said Rafe, giving her an encouraging smile.

  “Oh?” Jeanne’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

  Lettie grinned at her. “A puppy. A little yellow lab. We’re calling her Babe.”

  “Labs are good dogs,” said Jeanne. “I’m sure it will seem lonely with Cami gone, but maybe the puppy will help. I know how attached you were to Cami.”

  “Yes. It’s distressing because she and her mother live so far away.”

  Jeanne shook her head. “Kids t
oday think nothing of traveling all over the world. Me? I’m content to stay right here unless it gets nasty in the winter. Then, we like to spend a couple of weeks in Arizona.”

  The conversation stopped when Rod approached the table. “Thought I’d say hi. Given any more thought to selling some of your acreage?” he asked Mark.

  Mark’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “As I told you, I’m not interested. Things are going well, and I need all the land I have to increase production.”

  “How about you, Rod? How are things going?” Rafe said.

  Rod’s face contorted with dislike. “Unlike you, I didn’t grow up here working in the fields for someone else. So, it’s taking me a while, but I’ll get there.”

  “Yes, it’s hard for some newcomers to understand the land and how it works,” Rafe said smoothly. “If you ever want to sell, let me know.” He turned to the waitress. “How about bringing your best bottle of pinot from Taunton Estates.”

  Lettie hid a laugh at the look of dismay on Rod’s face.

  He frowned at Rafe. “How’d you get them to carry your wine?”

  Rafe shrugged in a nonchalant manner. “Some of us old-time field workers know how to make a good wine and sell it to our friends.”

  Rod grimaced and walked away.

  “Good job of setting him straight, Rafe,” said Mark. “I’ve never liked the man.”

  Lettie sat back in her chair, glad they had such good friends. Living and working in the valley, she’d come to understand that a certain amount of cooperation between vineyards was essential. Degrading others would hurt Rod in the long run.

  ###

  After a delicious meal and good conversation, Lettie and Rafe headed home. The ride to Chandler Hill wasn’t long, but drivers had to be careful on roads that wound their way from the valley through farmland to the rolling hills of the vineyards.

  Rafe brought his truck to a stop in her driveway and turned to her. “I’ve been thinking of renting my house to my sister Sophia and her husband, Paul. They live in a small place, and with the birth of their new baby, they need more room. I trust Paul to take as good care of the house as he does the farm. Sophia is thrilled with the idea. What do you think?” His finger trailed down her cheek.