Grazing The Long Acre

by Gwyneth Jones

  ‘Wow, that was gross,’ said Orlando. ‘Thanks a million, Eddie.’

  ‘But it wants to be milked,’ whispered Eddie, still off on his own track. ‘It wants that to happen. Like the scorpion. It has to obey its nature.’

  ‘Was that q-bits?’ asked Grace, trying to sound unmoved. ‘Or the helium?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Eddie, blinking and mopping his brow with the filigree scarf. ‘They get helium, it’s half the earth’s supply now. An’ decoherence resistant particles for building q’bits. It saves pollution, little children get clean water, whoo…’

  He pulled himself together. ‘Shit, I don’t know. The goop goes straight back to earth, all automated. I only work here. C’mon. Got to take you back.’

  The journey out was the same as the journey in, except that Eddie’s mood had taken a severe downturn. The aliens were silent too. He parted from them at his office door. ‘Catch you later,’ he said, as he slunk into privacy.

  They didn’t fancy their turned-over cabin, so they made for the saloon.

  It was late afternoon by standard time, and the dank, icy bar was quiet, empty except for the hardcore of alcoholics and gamblers who lurked here from happy hour to happy hour. A couple of the support staff were beating up a recalcitrant food machine. The morbidly obese lady in the powerchair, who wore her hair side-parted in a fall of golden waves, was acting as banker at one of the autotables. (The aliens, who were crazy about Hollywood, knew her as Lakey). The tall, gangly bloke with the visor—whom they called Blind Pew- looked up to stare, from the band of gleaming darkness where his eyes had been: said ‘Twist,’ and returned his attention to the game. The aliens got themselves beer tubes and installed themselves at a table near the games consoles –which nobody played, because they required Earth currency credit, and the Deep Spacers didn’t have that kind of money.

  ‘Woooeee,’ breathed Orlando, finally. ‘Whaaat?’

  ‘My God!’

  ‘Now I understand why they insist it’s an alien.’

  ‘The gateway to Eldorado,’ babbled Grace. ‘My god, I thought they…why don’t they…You’d think they’d be doing something—’

  ‘You mean, why isn’t the International Government investigating the thing? Because they daren’t, Grace. They’re junkies. They’re totally dependent. They daren’t do anything that might stop the flow.’

  In close to four hundred years since spaceflight, the human race had never got beyond orbital tourism, government science stations and wretched, hand-to-mouth mining operations in the Belt. The discovery of non-local travel had made a huge difference: but the catch was that so far only a conscious human being could make a Buonarotti transit. You could take what you could carry, as long as it didn’t contain a processor; and that was all. Hence the Lottery, which had been set up out here, as far from earth as possible in case of unforseen space-time disasters. The government was handing out cheap survey stakes in the galactic arm, to anyone prepared to come to the Kuiper Belt. You got the rights to a portfolio of data (there were programs that would advise you how to make up your package); and the chance that your claim would turn up the spectral signature of an Earth-type, good atmosphere, viable planet; the 4-space co-ordinates of paydirt.

  Then you had to check it out: lie down in a Buonarotti couch in the transit lounge, with your little outfit of gravegoods, and go you knew not where.

  Prospectors went missing for months; prospectors came back dead, or mutilated, or deathly sick. Just often enough some spacer came back safe, the proud owner of a prime development site: rich enough, even after selling it on at a considerable discount, to pay the medical bills and go home to earth in fabulous style. But once, once, back in the early days, someone or something had materialised in the transit lounge bearing not merely information, but treasure…

  Orlando and Grace had come out on the superfast advanced-fusion Slingshot; which made the journey in nine months these days, if the orbital configuration was right. (The harvest from the thing in the Knob travelled faster: it didn’t need life-support and could stand a lot more g’s). They’d known they’d be stuck for a year, whether their numbers came up or not; and then another six months for the homeward trip. They’d known the Lottery was meant for redundant Deep Spacers—kind of a scattergun pension fund for the human debris of the conventional space age. But they had seen a window of bold, dazzling opportunity, and decided it was worth the risk.

  They’d thought it out. They’d taken a government loan-grant, they’d brought their vitamins, and paid the exorbitant supplement for the freight of the bikes. (They’d done the research, they knew that squeeze-suits were just prosthetic, and you had to do real exercise to save your skeleton). They weren’t crazy. They’d had no intention of risking an actual transit themselves. The plan had been that they would get some good co-ordinates, and sell them to a development consortium (you were allowed to do that, and there were plenty, hovering like vultures). The consortium could hire a deep spacer for the perilous test-trip, and Orlando and Grace would still be taking home a very nice slice. But they’d been on the Kuiper Belt for nine months, watching the survey screens, and their stake had been coming up stone-empty. Nothing but gas giants, hot rocks, cold rocks. The loss of the bikes had been the last straw. Just a couple of hours ago they’d been looking at crawling home from their great adventure three years older, with rotten bones, and in hideous government debt for life.

  Now they had something to take to market!

  It was big. It was very big…

  ‘You know,’ said Orlando, ‘When we found the bikes gone, I was going to suggest we offer to fuck Eddie’s brains out. I mean, he likes us. Maybe he would have twisted the Lottery AI’s arm, switched us to a better stake.’

  They looked at each other and laughed: eyes bright, slightly hysterical.

  The arrival of the tourists hadn’t caused a stir. When Jack Solo and Draco Kojima made an entrance, looking mean, the inevitable molls in tow, all the barflys came to attention. The aliens felt the tremor, and saw the reason. These were the Panhandle big boys, uncontested top bullies. But Jacko and Draco were arch-rivals. They hated each other, what were they doing together? Orlando and Grace hunched down in their seats, lowered their eyes, and wondered who was in trouble. Murderous violence was not at all uncommon, but they didn’t have to worry. It was gang warfare, you were okay as long as you stayed out of the line of fire.

  To their horror, Draco and Jacko headed straight for the games consoles curve. With one accord, they hauled out the suction chairs facing the aliens, and sat down. Jack’s scrawny girlfriend Anni-mah adopted her habitual bizarre pose, crouched at her boyfriend’s feet. Drac’s chunky babe, her bosoms projected ahead of her by awesome pecs and fantastic lats, stood at his shoulder, her oversized blue eyes blank, her little mouth pursed in its customary sugar-smile.

  When they’d first encountered the molls, Orlando and Grace had thought they were real people, with strange habits and poor taste in body mods. Of course they were bots, insubstantial software projections. Strictly speaking they were contraband, because you weren’t supposed to use fx generators, or any kind of personal digital devices, on board the Panhandle. But nobody was going to make an issue of it with these two: certainly not Eddie Supercargo.

  Jack Solo was a grey-haired, wiry little man, a veteran pilot of the spaceways, who must have fought the damage stubbornly and hard. He showed no signs of Deep Space mutilation, no prosthetic walking frame, or deep-vein thrombosis amputations, and he still had normal vision. But then you looked into his eyes, and you knew he hadn’t got off lightly. He habitually wore a data glove that had seen better days, and a tube-festooned, battered, drysuit: pilot undress, that he sported as a badge of rank. Draco Fujima was something very different –a fleshy, soft-faced young man, with a squeeze suit under his streamlined, expensive, rad-proof jumper. You could tell at once he hadn’t been in space for long. Like Grace and Orlando he was just passing through. He was a time-expired U.N. remote-control peacek
eeper, out of the military at sixteen; who had taken the free Lottery option as part of his severance pay.

  This was one tourist the Spacers treated with extreme respect. Though crazy Jack might knife you over a menu choice, he probably counted his kills in single figures. Drac’s lethal record was official, and seriously off the scale.

  No one messes with a playpen soldier.

  The big boys stared, with radiant contempt. The aliens attempted to radiate the cynical, relaxed confidence that might get them through this alive.

  ‘You went to see Eddie today,’ said Jack.

  ‘How d’you know that?’ demanded Orlando.

  Draco leaned forward. ‘We have our ways. We don’t like you, so we always know where you are. Why did you go to see Eddie?’

  ‘Our bicycles,’ explained Grace, grinning. ‘They’ve been stolen. Do you wise guys happen to know anything about that heist?’

  Orlando kicked her under the table: there’s such a thing as being too relaxed.

  Jack jumped halfway across the table, like a wild-eyed Jack-in-a-Box. ‘Listen, cunts,’ he snapped, the dataglove twitching, ‘Fuck the bicycles, we don’t like the relationship. You two and Eddie, we see it and we don’t like it. You’re going to tell us what the fuck’s going on.’

  ‘He likes us,’ said Grace. ‘Can we help that?’

  ‘It’s called empathy,’ explained Orlando, getting braver. ‘It might seem like psychic powers, but it’s natural to us. You just don’t have the wiring.’

  Jack grabbed Orlando by the throat, and flicked the wrist of his other, gloved hand: so that a knife appeared there, a sleek slender blade, gleaming against Orlando’s pale throat. Anni-mah whined, oh please don’t hurt him. Jack kept his eyes fixed on Orlando, and his grip on the jumper: while he reached down to smack his bot around her virtual chops with the gloved hand that held the knife.

  He made the smack look real, with practised ease.

  ‘Oh yes, oh, hit me big boy,’ whimpered Anni-mah. ‘Oh, harder, please—’

  Draco’s babe just stood there: she was the strong, silent type.

  ‘Look,’ said Grace, coolly, ‘When you’ve finished giving yourself the handjob…You’ve got it all wrong. We made friends with Eddie by accident, it doesn’t mean anything. We’re just aliens abroad.’

  ‘Shut up, cunt,’ said Jack, ‘You are not fucking aliens, that’s just a story, and I’m talking to your boyfriend.’

  Draco laughed. Jack slowly released Orlando, glaring all the time.

  ‘Listen, fuckface,’ said Orlando, straightening his jumper with dignity. ‘We are aliens in relation to you, you pathetic old-fashioned machismo merchant, because you haven’t a cat in hell’s chance of understanding where we’re coming from. Now do you get it? And by the way, I’m the cunt, thank you very much.’

  Anyone in the bar who feared the sight of blood had sneaked out. The hard core remained, riveted. It was strange, and not totally unpleasant, to be the object of so much attention. They felt as if getting senselessly bullied by Jack and Draco was some kind of initiation ceremony. Maybe now, at last, the tourists would be accepted.

  Jack sat back. The knife had a handle bound in fine-grained blond leather: and the aliens knew the story about where this ‘leather’ had come from. He toyed with his weapon, smiling secretly: then brought the point down so that it sank, under gentle pressure, deep into the ceramic tabletop. The aliens thought not so much of their vulnerable flesh as of the thin shell of the Pan, made of the same stuff as this table, and the cold, greedy, airless dark that would rush in-

  ‘You’re not Spacers,’ said Jack, calm and affable. ‘You don’t belong here.’

  Draco tired of taking the back seat. ‘In the centre of the Knob,’ he announced, ‘There is a cell, guarded by fanatical killer AIs. What’s in that cell is a cold brutal indictment of the inhumanities perpetrated around the globe by those who claim to be our leaders. We should be listening, we should be feeding on that pain, we should be turning the degraded, ripped and slathered flesh into kills, into respect, the respect that’s due to the stand-up guys, good men who have protected humanity. We know, we know that we deserve better than this and YOU know where we can get it.’

  ‘Don’t listen to him,’ Jack broke in. ‘He knows fuck…The thing in that cell came from NGC 1999, a star-nursery in the constellation of Orion. Everyone knows that, but I’m the only one who knows it came for me. Orion has been sacred to all the world’s ancient religions, for tens of thousands of years. Nobody knew why, until the space telescopes found out that the new stars in that Bok Globule are just one hundred thousand years old. Now do you get it, fuck face, those stars are the same age as homo sapiens. The thing in that cell is human consciousness, twisted back on itself through the improbability dimension. We keep it in chains, for our torment, but I KNOW. I know, you see. Out there, fifteen hundred light years away, is the source of all thought, all science, and from thence, from that magic explosion of cosmic jizm, MY GOD has come to find me, has come for me—’

  The knife went in and out of the tabletop, Anni-mah whimpered don’t hit me, or maybe please hit me: but Jack’s eyes were calm. The aliens realised, slightly awed, that the old space pilot was perfectly in control. This was his normal state of mind.

  ‘Fifteen is five times three. It’s written in the Great Pyramid.’

  ‘I h-heard about that,’ Grace nodded, eagerly. ‘It’s the nebula that looks like a thingy, and the ancient Egyptians believed it was, uh, that Orion was Osiris.’

  ‘The Egyptians knew something, girlie. They knew the cosmos was created out of God’s own, lonely lovejuice. But I’m the anointed, I’m the chosen one.’

  ‘It’s made of anti-information,’ broke in Draco, deciding to up the ante. ‘Does that satisfy you? Does that scare you enough? Why d’you think they keep it here, with scum like these deadbeats, where I don’t belong? Why d’you think they lured me out here? They say I’m morally ambivalent, fucking shrinks, they’ll say anything, you should try what I do next. They want me to feel bad, never get the good stuff. There’s a conspiracy behind the conspiracy—’

  ‘So you’ll tell us,’ said Jack. ‘You’ll tell us anything you find out.’

  ‘From that limp-wrist, fudge-packing, desk-flying government pansy…’

  Orlando, Grace noticed, was nudging her in the ribs. She nodded fractionally, and they slid their chairs. The climax had safely passed: they could escape.

  ‘Of course, of course we will. Er, we have to go now…’

  Anni-mah cringed and shivered. Draco’s babe went on standing there.

  The aliens took refuge on the observation deck, which was as usual empty. Real Deep Spacers had seen enough of this kind of view. They stood and gazed, holding onto the rail that saved them from vertigo, until the shaking had passed.

  ‘I think it was just our turn,’ said Orlando at last. ‘They didn’t know.’

  ‘I hope you’re right.’

  Outside the great clear halfdome was spread the glory of the Orion Nebula; the jewel in the sword. They could easily locate the Trapezium, the four brilliant stars knit by a common gravity in whose embrace you would find that notorious Bok Gobule—the star-birthing gas cloud with a vague resemblance to a set of male human genitalia. Whacko Jacko’s conviction had some basis, though it was laced with delusion. There was indeed a persistent story, which the government had failed to suppress, that that particular star-nursery was the point of origin of the ‘thing’. They hadn’t been able to make any sense of Draco’s rant: but what could you expect from a basketcase who had really killed thousands of real people, by remote control: and he knew it, and he’d been rewarded by big jolts of pleasure, and all before he was fifteen years old.

  Grace put her arm around Orlando’s shoulders, and they drank deep of the beauty out there, the undiscovered country. As much as they pretended they’d come to space to make their fortunes, they had their own craziness.

  ‘The sad thing is that we’re no nea
rer,’ said Grace, softly.

  ‘We can’t ever get there. Deep Space destroys people.’

  ‘Deep Space is like living in a fucking underground carpark with rotten food. And non-local transit is going to be like—’

  ‘Getting on the Eurostar at Waterloo, and getting off in Adelaide.’

  ‘Only quicker, and some other constellations, instead of the Southern Cross.’

  ‘It’s not even real,’ sighed Orlando. ‘That. It’s a tv picture.’

  ‘It’s sort of real. Nitrogen is green, oxygen is blue. The spectral colours mean something. If we were there, our minds would see what we see now.’

  ‘You sound like Jack Solo. Let’s go back to the shack, and watch a movie.’

  They tidied the wrecked cabin a little, and ate a meagre supper. They didn’t fancy going back to the saloon, but luckily their emergency rations had not been touched. One of the sleeping-nets turned out to be in reasonable shape, once they’d lined it with their spare cabin rug. The Panhandle entertainment menu was extensive, (as rich as the food was poor); and they’d tracked down a wonderful cache of black and whites, so pure in visual and sound quality they must have been mastered from original prints long lost on earth. They put on Now Voyager, and settled themselves, two exiled Scottish sparrows in a strange but cosy nest, a long, long way from the Clyde. Their windfall of information could wait. Sobered by their interview with the big boys, they were afraid it was a bust: stolen goods too hot to be saleable.