Commander

by Kim Faulks

  “How many?”

  I swallowed and felt the flinch. “How many what?”

  “Wolves, Commander. How many Wolves.”

  And out of the shadows he moved, black on black, blending into nothing, until he lifted his head, and the whites of his eyes shone from the other side of the doorway. “One.”

  Surprise warped her tone. “Just one?”

  “Yes, one…Jesus ,he’s big…”

  His hulking shoulder hit the doorframe midway. Ivory fangs glinted, slick with saliva.

  “I’m on my way. Don’t do anything until I get there. They won’t hurt you…you hear me, Commander? They can’t. Not unless you make them.”

  Not unless I make them? “What the Hell does that mean?”

  But the line was already dead. I was talking to myself.

  A sharp outcry cracked through the air. I wrenched my gaze to the window. Can’t hurt me, right? The howl mingled with another, blending the tight pitch, on tones deep and husky. There were more out there, and they were coming…they were coming for me.

  Fear raced as I glanced to the doorway. Midnight eyes stared at me as he raised his head and sniffed the air.

  “Just stay back.” The gun trembled in my grip. I clenched my fist, crushing the patterned grip into the meat of my palm. The burn was instant, and needed. “I’ll shoot if I have to…don’t make me have to.”

  My feet were fucking bricks. I forced a step, and then another, heaving them around the bottom edge of the bed for my pack. A pair of khakis sat next to an open file. Even in the dark I could see him, fresh-faced, full of fucking hope—full of love for his country.

  This isn’t your world anymore…not as you knew it.

  The words rang in my head as I reached for the t-shirt and dragged it over my head. This wasn’t my world anymore? Then who’s fucking world was it?

  Who will fight?

  The Wolf gave a huff, and then a lonesome fucking howl. The sound bounced off the walls and carved through my chest. I lost my marriage for this world, lost my men—but it was nothing…nothing for…

  All the wives.

  All the fathers.

  All the mothers.

  And the men in the unit. The ones left behind to pick up the pieces, to fight like a damn machine with no thought of themselves. I yanked on my trousers, and lowered the gun long enough to wrench the zipper and button tight.

  The Wolf never moved, watching me with careful eyes. Heavy pants melted into each other, the energy changed, adding layers upon layers. My pulse picked up. I turned my head and stared at the wall. More had come…two, three?

  A pack now.

  Silver eyes blinked and glared at me from the dark. The soft scrape of paws echoed, and long claws dragged against the floor.

  “You just stay right there,” I whispered as the midnight beast sniffed the air and took a slow step across the threshold.

  Others followed, cramming the doorway to spill into my room. Silver eyes blinked…three…four sets…no, five…black on black blended, until the doorway and the wall sank into oblivion.

  Five of the beasts moved closer, three made for the foot of the bed, two straight for me.

  One quick lunge and I’d be dead.

  They can’t hurt me…I took a step backwards as ebony fur glistened under the moonlight. Thick shoulders rolled as the Wolves stalked forward.

  “Stop. Don’t you make me shoot.”

  My hand trembled. Instinct screamed.

  My finger skirted the trigger as the monstrous Alpha broke from the pack and came closer. Black lips curled, revealing the rows of white fangs. His eyes glinted like stars on a moonless night. But it wasn’t hate I saw in the spark…

  And it wasn’t rage.

  My finger slipped against the trigger as his lips trembled. He lowered his head, sniffed the edge of the bed. It was almost as though he was trying to convey something.

  The harsh glare of headlights lit up the inside of the room.

  I winced into the blinding light as it bounced off the mirror, and the outline of the beast faded.

  Headlights dimmed, car doors slammed, a heartbeat later a hard knock came from the front door. “Commander, it’s Alpha and Doc.”

  White fangs shone in the dark. Desperation gave way to annoyance. The beast turned his head toward the hallway and gave a snuff.

  The click of the lock sounded. Figured he’d have a key. “Commander, can you hear me?”

  I lowered the sight to the mattress. “In here…in the bedroom.”

  Fangs shone with the thud of boots, and the ruthless snarl filled my head.

  “Don’t…don’t come in here. I don’t think they like you being here.”

  Movement came from the doorway. The glint of steel shone for a second as the Marine peeked around the corner.

  I glanced to the doorway and back to the beasts at my bed. “They don’t want you here. I can’t…can’t get rid of them.”

  “It’s okay, Commander,” Alpha stepped into the doorway and holstered his weapon.

  My heart raced, fear filled my veins as the black beast slowly turned to face him. Still he didn’t drop his gaze, didn’t look at the Wolf at all.

  “He’ll kill you,” I whispered. “There’s others.”

  White shone in the darkness as the Doc followed Alpha inside. “It’s okay, Commander.”

  “There’s others,” I whispered and glanced at the beasts in black. “They came to kill me.”

  “No,” she whispered and stepped into the room. “They came here to guide you.”

  The Alpha swung his head, as the snarl turned deep and violent. Teeth gnashed, ears flattened.

  “Guide me where?”

  “To the spirit inside you, Commander. Can’t you feel it? The power, the energy? You had Wolf markers in your DNA, the stronger the markers the stronger the call.”

  She stepped closer, carving a path through the midnight beasts as though she didn’t see them at all.

  I stilled with the thought, and in the quiet, I saw the truth. “You can’t see them, can you.”

  She shook her head. “They aren’t real, Samson. They live inside your head. You’re fighting them. Like two beasts in a battle to the death, one will win, the other will lose—but you can tear yourself up in the process.”

  Her fingers trailed the frame of the bed as she moved closer. She dropped her gaze to the weapon in my hand and then glanced at Alpha.

  “Let me take that for you, Commander,” the Marine held out his hand. “I’m here now, I’ll stand guard. No one’s gonna hurt you, sir.”

  The steel was warm in my grip. I released my fingers, and then clenched tight. The beasts never moved, watching the Doctor as she neared. “Give Alpha the weapon, Commander. It’s safer that way.”

  “Safer?” For her.

  The memory returned. Angel rubbing her wrist, brows narrowed as she winced in pain. I’d hurt her once before. I flinched with the memory, and my finger moved from the trigger. That wasn’t me…wasn’t the kind of man I was.

  The Sig slipped against my palm as I eased my hold. I gripped the slide and handed the weapon grip first to the Marine. “You’re okay, Commander. Just listen to the Doc. She knows what she’s talking about.”

  “Take a deep breath, Samson,” the Doc murmured. “No one’s here to hurt you, okay?”

  “You did this,” I wrenched my head toward her. “You did this to me, made me hallucinate, made me different.”

  “You’re still the same person. The drug I gave you doesn’t change you in any way.”

  “You said that before,” I growled, and the midnight Alpha followed with a snarl. “But you lied. I am different. You used us, Doctor, used us for your own twisted reasons.”

  The pale pages of the open file called me. I could still see him, still see young Private Helsey’s face staring at me. “You’re making us into those…things.”

  “Look at me, Commander,” she lifted her hand. “Look at my eyes. I’m not lying to you. The
drug I’ve given you attaches to the markers already present, to enhance, that’s all. Look at your hands, your eyes. Have you changed? This isn’t about the drugs, Commander.”

  Fire lashed all the way into my throat. The midnight beasts blurred, fading into nothing—and in their absence, I felt the loss. “It’s all about the drugs! This whole fucking mess was about the drugs.”

  My face burned, heat lashed inside, crawling up into the back of my throat.

  “Easy there, Samson,” Alpha muttered and took a step closer to the bed.

  He needn’t worry. I knew the Marine could leap over the bed and overpower me. No matter how much I trained, I was never a match for men like Alpha. Hard jaw, hard fucking demeanor. He was a killer…I should know, I trained men just like him.

  But I wasn’t one…

  “You’re right about one thing. It was always about this…” Angel muttered. She lowered her gaze and stepped away to lean against the window frame. “I created it out of desperation and fear. If it’d change the DNA structure of a human, well, I’d be okay with that.”

  The truth shone in her gaze as she lifted her head. “But it didn’t. You have to believe me. The DNA attaches to certain markers. But it needs the perfect storm first. Other men provide a rumble, others lightning…but you, Commander…you’re not just the perfect fucking storm, you’re the damn hurricane…but you’re wrong, too.”

  I sucked in the frigid night air and felt that storm she spoke about, felt it in the marrow of my bones. The room tilted, heartbeat slowed. Everything I had, and ever was, came down to this moment. Everything.

  All my mistakes.

  All my lies.

  This wasn’t just a way for retribution.

  This was a reckoning…for me.

  “I never once thought of this as a weapon. Never once designed it for anything other than survival.” She shoved from the windowsill to take a step toward me. “You think they’ll stop at Marines? You think they’ll stop, at all? They’re coming after all of us. You can bet your sweet ass they are. When they come, you’ll reach for your weapon. It’s what you were created to do, isn’t it?”

  Silence settled deep.

  “Well, Commander? Answer me. You’ll reach for your gun, your maps, your intelligence. You’ll reach for everything you can, won’t you?”

  “Yes,” the word seemed to slip free from nowhere.

  “And that’s exactly what I’ve done…I’ve just given myself a head start, that’s all. Now you can ask me all the important questions, why, how…and I can bore you to death with the details. But the crux of the matter is, this enhancement is your best fucking protection—and when it comes down to it, it’ll be your only protection.”

  Her words crammed into my head. Even now my palm itched, hungering for the patterned steel against my hand.

  “We can sit here and talk about repercussions all we want. Once others hear what I’ve done, they’ll come for me, I’ve no doubt about that which is why the need for secrecy. But by the time they finish throwing words like immoral and unethical around, the world will already be burning. I’ve made my peace with this, Commander. Now I’m asking you to make yours.”

  Her pale shirt shimmered under the moon’s glow. Her eyes shone with the kind of glimmer that made a man sit up and take notice. So help me God, she looked like a damn angel.

  “Use the weapon I’m giving you.” Her fingers skimmed my arm. I flinched with the connection. Warmth caressed me, searing my skin. My body trembled under her touch.

  She moved closer, raising the back of her hand to touch my forehead. “Jesus, you’re burning up.”

  I needed cold…needed…Annabelle’s face surfaced. Need her cool skin, needed her harsh words. Needed her like a damn anchor. I was running aground here, smashed up against the rocks, hull split open, and I was taking on water.

  “I’m trying to help you understand here,” the Doc. “Don’t fight them, use them. The Wolves are here for you. Can you still see them…feel them?”

  My lips stuck together. I forced a tongue out, skimming the smooth flesh, and glanced around the room. “No. They’re gone.”

  “Not gone, Commander. The harder you fight, the more you’ll push them away. Let them in and harness their power.”

  Anchorless…anchorless sonofabitch.

  My mind trembled, fighting against the current of my own damn demise. Her words crowded in…lies or truth, I didn’t know. I wanted to believe, ached to fucking believe. Her hand dropped from mine. Her exhale was a rush. “Nothing I say is going to help you, is it?”

  There was truth in her words.

  “I give up,” she turned to Alpha and threw a hand in the air. “I tried.”

  The Marine just nodded, his dark eyes shone. I knew that stare, saw it in every man and woman who set out on a damn mission. It was a resignation, a cruel resignation that this was what it came down to—them against whatever stood in their way.

  So help me God…this time it was me.

  “You tried, Doc. Tried it your way…now how about we try it mine?”

  Alpha stepped out of the doorway, and the darkness rushed in.

  There was a shift, movement…small and subtle, slinking in like a damn shadow. The moonlight captured her shorn hair, and the feral gleam in her eye. My belly tightened, and my balls followed suit.

  “X,” her name was a rush of breath.

  I shot Alpha a gaze. “What’s she doing here?”

  He just shook his head. “Not she, Commander. They.”

  Behind her came the moon. Silver hair danced like luminescent trails. She stepped to the side, Wolf and Berserker, and moved closer.

  “Easy or hard, Commander.” The Marine snarled. “The Doc tried the easy way. Now all that’s left is hard.”

  “Spirit will come,” Ghost whispered. “Spirit will heal.”

  “You died today, didn’t you?” X whispered, dragging my focus from Ghost. “You died, and you’re still not all the way back.”

  I flinched as though slapped. She stalked forward, moving around the foot of the bed. Doc moved, stepping out of the shifter’s way. Panic was a spear though my middle. I shook my head, breathless words nothing more than a lick of fire along my throat. “Don’t…where are you going?”

  “Part of you remains there in the dark, in the cold…in the nothing.”

  Her words were an icy touch, lingering in the shadows of my mind. I shook my head, but the truth bloomed. So cold…so very cold.

  “Some call it Hell, other's Nirvana. It all depends on how you look at it, but that’s the catch, you have to look at it. They’ll tear you apart, you know?” X whispered.

  “What will?”

  “Spirit,” Ghost answered. “Spirit will lift you up, or tear you limb from limb. Spirit demands a sacrifice, no matter how it happens. A little of you, in exchange for a little of it.”

  X gripped the bottom of the bedframe and shoved. Steel howled against wood, and hit the dresser with a bang.

  “Stop…stop this right now.”

  Still they stalked forward. “A little of you, Commander, that’s all it wants.”

  Fear raced along my spine. I took a step backwards, then more, until I hit the wall. “Alpha, tell them to stop, right now.”

  “I can’t do that, Commander. I don’t control them, never have, never will. That’s something you need to understand.”

  “No one commands spirit,” Ghost whispered. “Spirit commands you.”

  Silver bristles shone as she stepped in front of the window. The fur seemed to move over her shoulders to run along the length of her arms. Silver eyes glinted from the Wolf and the Bear.

  I felt the rising, surging, inside me like a long-lost fear.

  “Gotta come all the way back now, Commander,” X murmured. “Bring you all the way back into the present. Nothing for you back there, not in the darkness, not in the past. It’s all right here,” her voice deepened.

  The sudden crack of a bone was brutal. I flinched, fingers cl
enched into a fist as Ghost hunkered. Silver fur of her bear raced, flowing along her arms like a river of mercury.

  Movement from the doorway drew my gaze. Silver eyes blinked, black slipped on black as the beasts appeared once more.

  “Turn on the light,” I growled and wrenched my gaze to the Marine. “Turn on the damn light…please…Alpha.”

  A crunch tore through the room. X hunkered, dropping to all fours. Black fur of her wolf sprouted along lean arms, consuming the woman from the inside out. Energy sparked, bringing with it the rush of an unseen tide. I could feel that surge of power, feel it deep in my bones. Shadows spread out as the phantom Wolves came closer.

  I knew now, knew why X and Ghost came…knew the power they brought with them. Silver fur consumed Ghost, bowing flesh and bone until she was unrecognizable.

  Gone was the woman.

  All that remained was a beast. I lifted my gaze, taking in her thick arms and massive shoulders. She commanded the room, commanded everything. My knees trembled, will weakened. Every cell in my body screamed obey…

  Claws dragged along the floor as she lifted a massive paw and slammed it against the wooden planking.

  My right knee buckled, dropping me to the floor. The tremor raced as I braced my hand, trying to stay upright.

  There was no fighting now, even if I wanted to.

  A shudder raced as I lifted my gaze. Memories came to life like flash bulbs in my mind.

  Hanna and Neve, Private First Class Damien Helsey.

  Newman Slater…

  All the faces of my Marines, all their hopes, their fears—their loyalty…all brought me to this moment. Spirit. The word filled me. I knew now. Knew why it had to be that mission. Knew why it had to be this place—and these people.

  Silver eyes called to me as the Wolf and the Bear stood side by side.

  A little of you, in exchange for a little of it.

  I understood now…understood it all.

  My fingers grazed the wooden floorboards as I lifted my hands, palm up. The Shadow Wolves moved in. Desire moved in the center of my chest, like a life-force I’d never felt before.

  Purpose.

  That’s how it felt. Like my entire existence now had meaning.

  My heart pulsed, sending the beat along my veins. Phantom outlines blended into one massive beast as the Wolf stalked forward. Spirit consumed not just this room, but this house, and now me. Urgency filled me, whispering…open your mind.