Wayward Love

by Rhys Everly

  “I know,” he said.

  “I hate lying to him.”

  “I know that too. So do I.”

  “He’s my best friend, Andy. We got to tell him,” I said.

  “We will,” he said.

  “When?”

  “Soon. I promise.”

  “Are you coming back?” I asked him. To be fair, I wasn’t in the mood for sex anymore.

  But I needed him here. To take me in his arms and reassure me everything was going to be okay.

  To look me in the eyes when he made his promises.

  Because that had been too close. And I’d hate lying to Nathan if it was all for nothing.

  “Of course I am,” he said.

  “Cool. ‘Coz you left your underwear here,” I said, picking them off the floor.

  “Maybe they can keep you company until I get back,” he replied.

  If I hadn’t just lied to Nathan’s face, I’d have laughed and made a dirty, inappropriate comment.

  But I couldn’t. I didn’t need his underwear’s company.

  I needed him.

  And I needed him to come through.

  Twenty-Six

  Andy

  Things were looking more than positive for the bar.

  I couldn’t exactly say the same about my personal life.

  After the scare with Nathan a few days ago, Kyle had withdrawn a little.

  Not that he wasn’t right to.

  We needed to stop hiding. And I knew that. But every time I thought of coming out to everyone and telling Nathan about Kyle and me, my head started to spin.

  It was all too much.

  Things would be so much simpler if it was just the two of us against the world.

  But we weren’t. And I didn’t wish we were.

  I loved my family and my kids. I loved my job. My town.

  The longer I waited, though, the bigger the chance I’d lose Kyle.

  And I couldn’t lose him. Not after everything else I’d lost in my life.

  “Ready for another busy night?” Kyle asked when he came into the office, and I smiled at him.

  He’d really done an excellent job with the bar.

  And with me.

  Although I hadn’t realized I was also his project until it was too late.

  “Hell yeah, I am. I just need to sort something, and I’ll be right out.”

  He smiled and blew a kiss my way before closing the door behind him.

  He really did make me happy. He made everything better. Everything he touched turned to sunshine.

  It was thanks to him I was able to put all the right bills in the right envelopes so I can make the payments on Monday.

  Before him, I was a step away from having everything yanked away from me.

  Now, I could pay up almost every single one of my debts.

  The biggest headache was the business loan. But with a lot of hope and hard work, the Halloween party would help me catch up.

  If Kyle didn’t get A+ on his senior project, I’d burn down their college. All of this was thanks to him and his genius.

  He’d proved me wrong. I still didn’t understand how young and beautiful Kyle had so much business savvy. More than I ever possessed.

  I knew he’d worked with his mom in restaurants since he was allowed to, but it didn’t explain his professionalism and endless supply of ideas.

  In all fairness, I had given up on the bar, come to think of it. It’d become a burden I didn’t know how to shake.

  It’d become another thing I had to carry on doing without Lucy.

  Until Kyle came into my life and showed me that it didn’t have to be a chore. That it could be fun again.

  Even when people were assholes, the drunks ridiculously annoying, and out-of-towners fucking rude, it could still be fun.

  The evening was busy, even without a game on. It was starting to become a regular thing.

  A few weeks ago, I’d have thought it impossible. But since Kyle, even the impossible was possible.

  With happy hour implemented every day of the week, lunch specials, and set dinner menus sorted, people were streaming in.

  Eric now had a partner-in-crime and the bar was fully staffed. I felt like a businessman again rather than a hopeless man trying to run a bar. I felt like a boss.

  “There he is. He decided to grace us with his presence,” Kyle said and twirled his hand at me, making the guys at the bar laugh.

  Before I could even comment, the music distorted. Then it died, killing the lights with it and plunging the entire bar in darkness.

  A collective groan echoed from the patrons.

  “What the fuck?” I shouted. “Who’s been playing with the mains switch?”

  I turned the flashlight on my cell on and walked to the back of the bar where the light switches were.

  I opened the flap to look inside when a string of light blinded me.

  I shielded my eyes and saw Kyle, who came to stand next to me.

  “The breaker is fine,” I said.

  “Maybe it’s a power cut,” he said.

  Kyle ran away and returned seconds later to confirm my fear.

  “The rest of the street looks okay,” he said.

  “Fuck,” I cursed and punched the wall next to me.

  “Relax, baby,” Kyle said, putting an arm over me.

  “It’s not. It’s the electric company. They’ve cut us off. How are we going to stay open for the weekend? I can’t stay shut for two nights.”

  “I-I’ll fix it,” Kyle said and jumped to action.

  “You can’t fix it. What are you going to do? Use your magic powers to light up the place?” I asked.

  I wouldn’t put it past him to wave his hands and fix the problem with a magic word.

  After all, how much had he fixed by words alone.

  “Ah, really? You’re doubting my magic skills? I was hoping you’d at least think my blowing skills were out of this world. Are you trying to say something?” The edges of his mouth curled up in a smile, and I kissed him.

  “Your blowing skills are out of this world. But what are we doing with this?”

  Kyle brushed his hand by my temple, stroking the skin around my ear, and rubbed the back of my neck before he continued with his master plan.

  Kyle always had a master plan brewing. Even if he’d just come up with it.

  “Right, go back to the bar and calm everyone down. Make sure no one leaves,” Kyle said. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?” I asked him, but he’d already vanished in the storeroom.

  I went back to the front and urged them all to stay.

  “We’ll be back to normal in no time,” I said.

  I hoped that was true.

  Some customers were already on their way out, but the majority seemed unfazed by the lack of power.

  Instead, a lot of them had lit up their phones and continued with their imbibing.

  Kyle returned only moments later with a box in his hand which he passed to Rachel.

  He turned to Johnny, Michaela, and Dirk and asked them to go around and light the pillar candles in the box.

  When the guys got to work he turned to me and pulled me outside.

  “Do you have a backup generator?”

  I shook my head.

  “It stopped working a long time ago. I haven’t had the money to replace it.”

  “Andy? What happened? Are you closed?” Melody was walking towards us looking through the windows.

  “I…uhm, yeah…uhmm,” I started.

  “You can tell her. She’s your sister for crying out loud,” Kyle huffed next to me.

  “Tell me what?” Mel asked.

  I straightened up and took a deep breath. Mel waited, a puzzled face darting from me to Kyle and back to me.

  “I haven’t paid the electric, and they’ve just cut us off.”

  “Why didn’t you pay your bill?” Mel grimaced.

  “Because…I-I couldn’t afford it,” I said.

/>   Realization dawned on Mel, and she opened her mouth as if everything made sense now.

  As quickly as she gasped, she shut her mouth and resumed her normal self.

  “And where are you two going? Are you bailing out on your bar?”

  I should have focused on her question. Instead, my mind lingered on her words which made it sound as if it wasn’t just my bar, but Kyle’s, too.

  Well, he was running the place better than me, so even though it wasn’t his, everything inside was.

  “We need to find a generator, otherwise all the beer will foam and everyone will leave,” Kyle explained.

  “Plus all the food in the kitchen,” I added.

  Kyle nodded. “That too.”

  “I’ve got a generator. But it’s heavy,” she said.

  “Andy can help carry it. I’ll go and ask the Oyster Club if we can store our food in their fridges until Monday.” He gave us his orders and walked off not missing a beat.

  “I like him,” Mel smiled.

  “So you’ve been saying ever since he called you a goddess,” I said.

  “And the entire family drop dead gorgeous, if I recall correctly,” she chuckled.

  I shook my head and walked away from her toward her bed-and-breakfast. She ran after me.

  “Come on, Andy. Admit it,” she whined.

  “Admit what? I dunno what you’re talking about Mel,” I said.

  Mel ran in front of me, put her hand up, and stopped me.

  “We grew up together, big bro. I know when you’re lying or hiding something,” she said. “Granted, you’ve not been hiding this particularly well…”

  “You-you know?”

  She gave me a look. The look. The look that said she was done messing around.

  “I’ve screwed everything up,” I sighed. It felt good to share the burden with someone. “Haven’t I?”

  “Why do you think you’ve screwed everything up?” she asked.

  “Because he’s Nathan’s best friend. And he’s twenty years my junior,” I said, but I didn’t get the reaction I expected from her.

  She looked confused.

  “What?” I asked her when she kept tilting her head from side to side.

  “He’s Nathan’s best friend and he’s younger. So?” she said.

  Was she being serious? Was she actually asking me what was wrong with that picture?

  “Mel! I’ve been fucking my son’s friend. How’s that not wrong?”

  Now she had the response I’d been waiting for.

  “Wait a minute. You’ve been fucking?” She gasped. “God, even saying that word to my brother feels nasty.”

  “Well, yeah. Isn’t that what you wanted me to admit?”

  “Andy, I thought you liked the kid. I didn’t realize you were…sleeping with him.”

  Well, crap.

  “I thought you’d figured it out. God, this is embarrassing,” I said.

  “Are you—are you bi? Since when? And why is it embarrassing?”

  “I don’t know what I am. And what do you mean why? What part of ‘he’s Nathan’s best friend and so much younger than me’ do you not understand?”

  “Age doesn’t matter. It is a little weird you’ve been sleeping with your son’s friend, but we can’t help who we like,” she said.

  “I more than like him,” I mumbled and continued walking, Mel chasing behind me.

  “Wait, wait. What? You can’t throw a bomb like this and walk away. What do you mean you more than like him?”

  I stopped outside her B&B and looked her in the eyes.

  “I love him, Mel.”

  Mel swooned and clapped her hands together with a stupid grin on her face.

  “Oh my Lord. Really? That’s incredible, Andy. I’m so happy for you. Does he feel the same?”

  I smiled.

  “He does.” The severity of the situation hit me again. “How fucking twisted is that?”

  Mel looked confused again.

  “Twisted why?”

  “Nathan,” I said and walked into reception where Mel’s assistant was behind the desk.

  Mel pointed to the back, and we walked down the long corridor. I could feel her eyes on me. Felt her judging me.

  “Nathan’s a big boy. He’ll understand. Why would he be mad at you?” she said. “You found someone that makes you happy. I can see it. Yaya can see it. Hell, even Summer can see it.”

  “They can?” I shivered. It was one thing for my sister to know. It was even okay for Maya to know. But the entire family?

  “They’ll never speak to me again. Nathan definitely won’t. And he won’t talk to Kyle again, either. It’s fucked up.”

  Mel stepped in front of me again before I could open the door to the store room.

  “Wait a second. You’ve skipped a hundred steps there. Why would everyone stop talking to you? Why would Nathan? Have you asked them? No. You assume they’ll react a certain way. That they’ll put their feelings above your happiness. It sounds to me like you’re underestimating your family a whole lot,” she said.

  “It’s not all rainbows and roses, Mel. This isn’t a romantic film where everything ends up in a happy ever after,” I tried to reason with her.

  Boy, did I wish it was. Because from where I was standing, I couldn’t see this ending in anything but a fucking mess.

  “Why can’t it be? Life may not be a romance, but it doesn’t have to be a soap opera, either. It’s not one or the other,” she said.

  “Even so. The truth will destroy Kyle’s friendship with Nathan.”

  “That’s between them two. And to be honest, have a little more faith in your son. He’s an incredible man,” she said.

  “I know.”

  He was. And I was less than great for what I’d done.

  “You don’t know a thing. Anyway, let’s get the generator and go save your bar from absolute chaos.”

  She let me in her store room and uncovered the sheet protecting the generator from dust and we carried it back to the bar.

  Kyle was waiting outside for us.

  “You got it! Perfect. The food is sorted, too. Eric and Ciannan will take all the food to the Oyster Club and the guys will keep it there until Monday. I told them they can use the stuff that will go out of date before then, but that’s better than wasting,” he shrugged.

  He always had the solution. To everything. Effortlessly.

  I hoped when it all exploded in our faces, he’d also have the solution for it, because if I’d proved anything in the last few years, it was that I didn’t know anything.

  Mel was right.

  I expected chaos when we walked in. Instead, we walked into a buzzing bar. Johnny had connected his phone to a dock that played music as background to people’s chatter, and the candles added a romantic ambience.

  I didn’t know why I was surprised. We Virginians were used to hurricanes and storm season. Power cut was basically our mantra during summer and fall.

  Kyle and I carried the generator to the cellar and plugged the cooling units to it.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me as we came out of the cellar.

  “Yeah. I was just talking to Mel,” I said.

  “About?”

  “About us,” I said, and he flinched.

  “Really?”

  “Really,” I told him.

  “What did you say?” he asked, running his hand over my chest.

  No way was I telling him about my meltdown with her.

  “How perfect you are. How there’s no problem you can’t fix. How much I love you,” I replied.

  “Yeah?”

  I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer to me.

  “Hell yeah,” I said and kissed him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Dad? Kyle?”

  My body went tense, and I froze in place with Kyle in my arms.

  Kyle was the first to turn his head, and I did the same only seconds later. And that was how everything I’d feared, everything I
’d been dreading, clawed at me, taking everything.

  The hurt in his face, the shock in his eyes, darting back and forth between me and his best friend, was the stuff of nightmares.

  I pulled my body away from Kyle. It was the least I could do. It was too late for everything else.

  “Nathan, I-I can explain,” I said.

  Well done, Andy. Be a cliché who walks and breathes clichés when caught.

  It’s not what it looks like.

  It’s exactly what it looks like. And I let him down.

  “What-what is it then?” Nathan asked.

  “Nathan—” Kyle’s voice broke out, but I didn’t let him finish whatever he was about to say.

  “This is nothing,” I said, and Kyle’s gaze also settled on me.

  “Wow. I can’t believe you,” Nathan said and walked away from us.

  I found myself unable to look away from his back. I couldn’t turn to face Kyle. Not after what I’d just said.

  “Nothing?” Kyle asked next to me, his voice barely a whisper.

  He ran off, too, but my body still wouldn’t obey my mind.

  I was the world’s worst dad.

  And the world’s worst lover.

  I had to make this right somehow.

  Twenty-Seven

  Kyle

  This was it. This was me fucking everything up. Again.

  What had I just done? What had just happened?

  How could we do something like this to Nathan, and how dare Andy tell him it was nothing after what I’d sacrificed to be with him?

  This was all a bad dream. I’d wake up and I’d realize today had been a figment of my overactive imagination and Nathan hadn’t just found out I’d betrayed him.

  But it wasn’t a dream, was it? It was reality, and Nathan had just caught us lying to him.

  That look on his face. I’d let Nathan down. I’d broken the unwritten bro rule—Not that dating dads should be something friends discuss.

  “Kyle, wait up,” Andy caught up with me outside in the parking lot. Nathan was nowhere to be seen.

  I turned expecting an apology. Or comfort.

  He looked into my eyes, but not really looking. He was a ghost of himself.

  “I don’t think this is gonna work,” he said flatly.

  “What-what isn’t?” I mumbled.