Love in La La Land

by Lynn Forth

  Cradling her close, he said in mock sorrow, ‘Jane, how could you suspect me of trying to seduce you at a time like this? I know how much you are worrying about little Charlie.’

  As she lifted her head, he briefly kissed her soft, smiling mouth.

  ‘Obviously, I hope eventually the time will be right, and when we do make love…and I’m hoping it will be soon…’ he growled softly into her neck, and saw all the little hairs stand on end, ‘I will want your full, and I mean your full…and undivided…attention.’

  He felt her quiver and fold into his body. Clinging to him, she raised her open mouth, ready for more kisses.

  ‘Oh Jane,’ he sighed, ‘you don’t make it easy for me, do you?’

  With a half-laugh, he released her. ‘See, I have the strength of ten men. You shall not seduce me, you bewitching creature.’

  He held her shoulders firmly at arm’s length to prevent any failure of willpower.

  ‘You obviously hadn’t noticed, but the suite has two bedrooms,’ he said, grinning. ‘And mine is over there.’

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘Right, Dad, I can take over now.’

  Wearily, her father looked up and smiled.

  ‘Oh hello, Janey girl, I didn’t hear you come in. We were just at the exciting part of the Grand Old Duke of York. You know the bit where he’s taken them all up to the top of the hill, and we’re not sure what he’s going to do next.’

  He stopped talking, clearly noticing Jane’s distraught expression as she gazed at all the medical paraphernalia around the room. He seemed to realise she would need time to take in the full implications of the intensive care unit they were in.

  Horrified, Jane gazed at the serried rows of monitors, the blinking lights, and heard the soft pinging sounds. Then she forced herself to look at the tiny, prostrate, bandaged figure, lying at the centre of the small Perspex bubble, and attached to all these machines. Her heart gave a violent spasm.

  It brought back memories of a similar little body in a cot all those years ago. But this was different, she told herself sternly. This little boy was still alive and, with everyone’s help, would remain so.

  Yet she couldn’t help thinking that the last time she had seen Charlie, he had been laughing merrily as she’d played a simple game of peekaboo with him. And now…

  ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Her father studied her face. ‘I can easily stay till Milly wakes up. I know how much you hate hospitals and anything to do with illness.’

  Jane grimaced ruefully. ‘Yes, I know I’m a wimp, Dad. Not much of a doctor’s daughter, am I? A real dilly-day-dream, as you used to call me.’

  ‘A dilly-day-dream daughter was always fine with me, as you know. And I don’t blame you wanting to avoid all this.’ Her father swept his hand round, indicating the banks of machines. ‘There’s too much reality here sometimes, even for me.’

  Jane sighed. ‘But, Dad, it’s time I grew up. I realise I’ve been a right ostrich all my life, avoiding anything too serious. Ever since Gianni… I suppose, I shut out anything awful. I thought if I just stuck my head in the sand and wrote about my fantasy worlds, everything would turn out fine.’

  ‘Janey girl, that is quite understandable. What happened was a big dose of reality for a small girl to face. Don’t feel so guilty. Escape into fantasy worlds is one of the very real functions of literature, and one we all need.’

  ‘But, Dad, having just come from Hollywood – a real fantasy world, if you know what I mean – I can see how false and superficial it all is. In their silly, shiny world, they all seem to live in fear of losing all the fripperies they have acquired. Not losing something real, like…’

  She couldn’t continue for a moment, then gave her father a wan smile. ‘Yes, I do have a dislike of hospitals and illness, but of course I can do this. I just need to toughen up. Now, tell me what I need to know.’

  ‘Right, my girl, you are not the complete medical nincompoop you pretend to be, so I’m going to explain simply what all these bells and whistles mean, what changes to look out for, and when to worry and when to not.’

  But, despite her brave words, he caught the look of pure fear that crossed her face at the responsibility involved, so added gently, ‘Basically, all you need to know is when to call for help.’

  As if to reinforce this, a wiry middle-aged nurse came into the brightly-lit room, giving them a perfunctory nod, before assiduously checking all the equipment.

  ‘See? They instinctively know I’m no good with anything medical,’ Jane sighed. ‘But hand-holding – well, tiny finger-clutching – this I can do. Trust me. Now go and get some sleep, Dad.’

  Her father nodded then slowly began to unfold his long, lean, frame from his cot-side chair. Jane could see Charlie was gripping one of his fingers, so her father slowly and gently extricated his hand from the clear dome which enclosed the tiny, sleeping shape of his grandson.

  Normally, when he stood up, he would have stretched and straightened his shoulders, as he always did. But for a heart-breaking moment he stayed stooped, and she became thuddingly aware of her father’s age. Her rock was beginning to crumble. Intuitively, she felt the baton of care being passed to her. Her parents had taken care of her all her life, soon she must do the same for them.

  As if sensing her thoughts, her father proudly shrugged back his shoulders, and she saw a fierce light of independence in his weary, grey eyes.

  ‘Still life in the old dog yet, Janey girl. Although I confess, I do need a bit of shut-eye.’

  Not wanting him to see the emotion in her face, she just hugged him fiercely. She knew that usually the two of them were the repositories of the stiff-upper-lip brigade in their demonstrative household, so this heartfelt display was rare and profound.

  For a long moment they stood locked together, then her father patted her back and, clearing his throat, said huskily, ‘You’ll be fine, Janey girl. You’ll cope. You always do.’

  Then, with one last concerned look at the occupant of the cot and at his daughter, he left the room.

  Gingerly, Jane sat down on the vacant chair. She had successfully hidden just how deeply concerned she was from her father, but now she was seriously struggling not to break down. The full impact of what had happened to Charlie hit her as she gazed at his little body, so uncharacteristically still, apart from the barely perceptible rise and fall of his bandaged ribcage.

  She wanted to put her hand into the incubator, but was frightened of touching him in case it disturbed him or dislodged any of the monitors.

  She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

  ‘Do you want to hold his hand, honey?’

  Gratefully, she turned to the nurse. ‘Oh yes, if you think it would help. Only I’m pretty useless, and I’m not sure…’

  ‘That’s OK, honey. Let me show you. I’d rather have someone who asks for help, than someone who doesn’t. Here, scrub your hands with this stuff, like this. Now, in here. Just put your finger into his palm. There you see; he grasped it automatically. Now he knows you are there.’

  Jane trembled with barely controlled sobs at feeling the tiny trusting hand enclose her finger. Just as Gianni’s had done when she sang him to sleep so long ago. So many memories were resurfacing, so many repressed feelings. But she must be strong.

  The nurse kept a comforting hand on her shoulder until she had gulped back her tears.

  ‘There you go, honey. Now talk to him if you want. Lot of folks find it helps them as much as the patient. Here’s a call button. You just press on that anytime and I’ll come running. Although I’ll be in and out anyways.’

  With a brief reassuring smile, she was gone.

  Now Jane really could release her tears, for the plight of Charlie, for Milly’s fears and her parents’ worry, for her long-lost baby brother, her long ago loss of innocence and trust in the world, and for the simple kindness of the nurse.

  Selfishly swirled into this maelstrom were all the pent-up tensions of the last few
days, her uneasy stay at Scott’s, and all her mixed-up feelings connected with Jack. All of these mingled and merged into a shaking, but silent, torrent.

  Later when the nurse came back in, Jane was telling Charlie one of her favourite bedtime stories. If the woman noticed the handbag full of scrunched-up tissues or the swollen eyes, she said nothing. Sadly, she had undoubtedly seen them both many times before.

  Milly said nothing either, when she crept in to relieve Jane a few hours later. Her eyes were only on Charlie.

  ‘Oh Milly, I’m no expert but I think he’s breathing better and is a healthier colour, somehow,’ Jane whispered.

  ‘Yes, I think you’re right. I can see a definite improvement, I’m sure of it.’ Milly raised hopeful eyes to the nurse.

  ‘Yes, honey, he is a little fighter, and he is doing really well.’ The nurse kept her voice cautiously optimistic.

  It was gone 2am when Jane finally returned to the hotel. Charlie was progressing well, and she had been able to fetch and carry food and drink for both Milly and her father before they shooed her away to rest.

  Feeling drained, Jane quietly let herself back into the suite. To her surprise, she found that Jack was still up, sitting relaxed in a large, squashy chair, reading under a pool of soft lamp-light.

  Her heart leapt. How wonderful to come home to such a cosy scene.

  He smiled as he slowly unfolded his long frame and stretched out his arms to greet her.

  ‘Well?’

  ‘I think he’s going to be OK. They’ve put a bed into his room and Milly is sleeping by his side, but the main thing is they say the operation has been a success and they hope he’s out of danger.’ She almost sobbed her relief as she entered his strong protective embrace.

  Jack kissed the top of her snuggled head and sighed. ‘Good. I’m so pleased.’ As he stroked her hair, she felt her shoulders relax and her tension began to seep away.

  ‘How is Milly, and your father?’

  ‘Still tired but more rested. They are both feeling so much better now the news is so hopeful. They are taking it in turns to sit with him, and the guest rooms are surprisingly good. American hospitals are really quite swish compared to the good old NHS. But I suppose you have to pay so much for it, I’m not surprised. I won’t hear a word against our system in the UK, but it just can’t afford all the posh extras you have here.’

  A worried frown creased her forehead as she remembered just how much all these posh extras were going to cost. Obviously, Charlie was the priority, but the price tag for the flights, the operation, and now all this aftercare, was likely to be horrendous.

  As if reading her thoughts, Jack began hesitantly, ‘I’ve been thinking…and yes, I know you have refused before, but I really would like to help your family financially.’

  Automatically, Jane pulled away, shaking her head. But before she had a chance to speak, he continued, ‘Don’t block me out, Jane. Let me finish what I want to say. Especially now I’ve met your sister and your father, I want to help even more.’

  She heard his voice deepen with suppressed emotion. ‘I really admire your father. What he said about it being his job to look after you all, it really struck me. If only… It’s just, you are so lucky having such a fine man as that as a father.’

  Moved by his evident sincerity, she hugged him again, knowing he was comparing his own father to hers.

  ‘I know. I think I’m lucky, too, and I’m so glad you have met him. Jack, I understand how much you want to help, I really do, but you mustn’t worry about us.’

  Jack hesitated. ‘Tell me to mind my own business, but I’ve gathered from the odd thing you’ve said that your own particular finances aren’t in great shape.’

  Jane flushed and turned away. She definitely didn’t want to tell Jack what a fool she’d been with Darren.

  He continued softly, ‘Which is why you were trying so hard to sell your book, this book, to some producers, isn’t it?’ He indicated what he had been reading.

  Her new book.

  He must have seen her look of astonishment. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I found it lying on the nightstand in your room, so thought I’d give it a read.’

  ‘No, I don’t mind at all. I brought plenty with me to give to people. I gave one to Scott, but I suspect it’s still where I left it.’ She tried to hide the note of bitterness in her voice.

  Jack picked up the book. He had nearly finished it. ‘It’s good…and you were right to bring it with you, it would make a good film.’

  The writer in Jane leapt up, agog for any word of praise. ‘Do you really think so? It’s a bit darker than my last one. As you can see, Chloe has had a tougher life than…’ She stopped, realising that she was gabbling. ‘Sorry, don’t get me drawn into discussing my book. I have reconciled myself to the fact that it was a fluke getting my first one made into a film. You don’t have to be kind.’

  ‘I’m not. It’s got potential. In the hands of the right producer.’

  ‘And the right adaptor?’ Jane teased.

  Jack grinned. ‘Well of course, that always helps.’

  ‘Thanks for those encouraging words, Jack. But really, Hollywood dream time is over. Yes, you’re right, I did hope to sell it. My finances at home are in a bit of a fix, but it’s all my own stupid fault. So, it’s up to me to sort it out. I’m just annoyed with myself that I can’t help my family more, just when they need it.’

  ‘That’s why I’m offering—’

  ‘No, thank you, Jack, for all the reasons I’ve said before.’ She paused, not sure whether to continue. Hesitantly she went on, ‘In fact, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and have come up with a solution. I’ve sorted something…something I didn’t really want to do, but Charlie is more important than anything else. And it should pay for quite a bit of his care. So, although I think you are a lovely generous man for caring so much about me and mine, the answer is still no.’ Her tone was decisive. ‘I wouldn’t feel right accepting financial help from you. Call it stupid Yorkshire pride, but that’s just the way it is.’

  Although clearly puzzled by what she could have sorted in such a short time to pay such a huge bill, he didn’t pursue it.

  Instead, he cupped her face and kissed her softly. She felt strong arms encircle her waist, his fingers laced behind her back as he drew her into the sensual warmth of his body. Looking up, she saw his eyes held a question as they looked deep into hers.

  Electricity shot along her limbs as he lowered his mouth to hers. Her throat constricted as she felt his questing lips enclosing hers in a deep, ardent kiss. As she pressed against him, hot rivulets of desire coursed through her body. Her knees buckled as she felt his passion ignite in response to hers.

  She knew with a fervent certainty how much she wanted him, needed him, loved him. And, at last, he was going to be hers.

  As promised, she had his full and undivided attention.

  Their lovemaking was everything she had hoped it would be…and more. It was tender, passionate, intimate; all her nerve endings came sensuously alive. She knew it was the first time she had ever felt so complete, so whole, so female, so in love.

  Afterwards, as Jack gazed at her sweet glowing face, he saw the hot flush of her passion still visible around her throat. The soft tendrils of shining hair were still clinging to her neck as evidence of the heat generated in their rumpled bed.

  And he realised, it was his first time.

  Not his first sexual encounter, by any means. But the first time he had actually made love.

  Yes, he admitted to himself, he really did love this girl who was sleeping so tenderly in his arms.

  Next morning, they awoke to renewed ardour, and softly and surely committed their bodies to each other again.

  Much later, as Jane languorously watched the unselfconsciously naked Jack pad into the bathroom, her eyes drank in the leanness of his muscled thighs, the power in his broad shoulders, the flexing of his taut butt. What a gorgeous body. A body which had belonged to he
r in the night; a body she longed to hold again and again…perhaps forever.

  No, she daren’t go there. Although he had looked at her with love, she couldn’t know his feelings. But she was sure in her own mind and heart that he was the one.

  She now knew what her mother had known with such surety all those years ago.

  Yes, she was in love.

  Lying there, hugging herself and revelling in her memories of their passionate lovemaking, she was startled by the invasion of the outside world when her phone rang.

  It was Milly. Charlie had passed a good night and, so far, all the signs were positive. Although elated, her sister sounded exhausted, so Jane insisted she would go to the hospital as soon as possible to relieve her. Accepting her offer gratefully, Milly said their father had just taken over but it would be great if they could both have a break.

  Jane leapt out of bed and, feeling rather daring, crept naked into the bathroom and into the hot, tingling shower with Jack.

  A while later, flicking her damp hair from her collar, Jane seized a warm croissant from the simple breakfast delivered to their room. Slipping on her shoes, she hurriedly grabbed her bag as Jack watched her with warm brown eyes.

  If it were anyone else but Milly, Jane knew she wouldn’t be able to tear herself away, but she already felt guilty at the inevitable – and wonderful – delay caused in the shower. Her hair would soon dry in the bright morning sunshine.

  She just couldn’t stop smiling.

  ‘So, Mr Mega-Movie-Mogul, what are you going to do in my absence?’

  Jack grinned. ‘Well, it just so happens, I will be engaging in mega-movie-mogul business today. As we’re here, I’ll probably scout around the locations for the movie. I want to check they’ve got them right.’

  Jane nodded, glad that he could make use of their time.

  ‘And,’ he added, ‘as soon as Charlie is well enough, I want to show you ‘Frisco. You will love this town, and I hope to convince you it will be a good substitute for France in your book.’