That was something Lady Emily just couldn’t have. She was certain she would never find a way to accept such love, especially when Myles made her feel so good with just a single glance.
“There, there,” Lady Emily said, and patted Catherine on the back. “It’s fine. Everything is fine.”
“I know,” Catherine said. “I just had such hope.”
“And you will have such hope again,” Lady Emily assured her. “Please do not think that you won’t.”
“Well,” Catherine finally raised her head and cleared her eyes. “Perhaps someone else will come alone.”
“Perhaps,” Lady Emily said, as she looked out the window. The day was beautiful, and she wondered if Myles would be walking in the garden.
Once Catherine had recovered, Lady Emily made her excuses and let her be. Catherine said she didn’t feel up to walking in the garden, and so Lady Emily eagerly hurried out. However, to her dismay, Myles was nowhere to be found.
This puzzled her, as he was always outside at this time of day. She headed back into the house, to look around for him, and was surprised when her father said that he had gone to his room.
“Is he unwell?” she asked.
“I have no idea,” he said. “All I know is that he had quite a long discussion with Reginald, and then he headed upstairs.”
“How long of a discussion?” she asked. “I was only talking to Catherine for half an hour.”
“Oh, about ten minutes, but it seemed very frantic,” he said. “I have no idea what it was about.”
“But it was with Lord Reginald?” her eyes narrowed. Something felt off about this whole situation. Myles and Lord Reginald did not get along in the slightest. They were not friends, and they often did not talk for days at a time.
“It was,” Sir Preston said, and shrugged. “Perhaps you should find one of them?”
Lady Emily felt her heart sink as she tore through the house, looking for Lord Reginald. When she found him, she didn’t even give him a chance to say hello.
“What were you talking to Myles about?” she demanded. Lord Reginald raised an eyebrow.
“You thought I was talking to Myles?” he asked, innocently “Who told you that?”
“My father did,” she replied. “And I believe him.”
“Oh yes, I did have a brief conversation with Myles,” he said. “Something about him leaving for London. The solicitor is probably there.”
“What?” she looked at him in shock. “What are you talking about?”
“The solicitor he is looking for?” Reginald looked at her as though she had lost her mind. Lady Emily was too shocked to speak. “The one who has his uncle’s…”
“Yes, I know what you are speaking of,” she said. “But...he is leaving for London right now?”
“It seems so,” Lord Reginald said. “Is that a problem?”
Her heart sank even further. There was no way that this was a coincidence. He must have heard her talking to Catherine and decided that he should just go.
When she thought about the conversation that she’d had with Catherine, she realized exactly how it would sound to Myles’s eavesdropping ears. It would sound like he wasn’t good enough; like he needed to leave because he was a disgrace to her.
That wasn’t the case at all, of course, and she needed to explain that to him, and quickly.
“Myles!” When she finally found him on the stairs, she sighed in relief that he hadn’t left yet. But when she saw that he had all his bags packed and they were being brought to the carriage, she knew she was too late. “Where are you going?”
“Lady Emily,” he said. “I want to thank you for your hospitality. But I am afraid I must head to London.”
“No, Myles, you can’t go,” she cried. “You don’t understand. The…”
“I’m afraid I must go,” his face was set, and he wouldn’t even look at her. “Thank you very much for your hospitality.”
“Is this about what I said to Catherine?” she asked. She knew it was possible Myles would have overheard when he was walking down the hall. She also knew that she hadn’t closed the door, which she cursed herself for. Maybe Myles just wasn't interested in her? Or maybe he really did need to go. “Myles, I didn’t mean it. I…”
“Lady Emily,” he said. “Please, let me by.”
“Where will you go?” she demanded. “Where will you stay? You can’t just…”
“Lord Reginald has provided me with a place to stay in London,” he replied. “As well as a loan and some letters of introduction. I am sure I will be just fine on my own.”
“But…” she asked. “But you don’t even know where the solicitor is. You don’t even know...”
“I understand that,” he said. “But I will find him. Thank you very much.”
She knew that she couldn’t stand in his way any longer. She tried to keep the tears at bay as she stepped aside.
“Well, it was a pleasure to have you here,” she said, with her voice breaking. “Perhaps we could meet again soon?”
“With all due respect, my lady,” he said. “I don’t think we will.”
She didn’t know whether to be angry at him or Reginald in this moment. It was Reginald who had given him the means to disappear, and it was no doubt because he sensed her affection towards Myles.
She understood that from his perspective. He was hurt, and he had no reason to want to stay. She was so frustrated that he wouldn’t listen to her, even for a moment. They had shared so many secrets and had so many plans.
“What about Miss Kent?” she blurted out. Myles turned to her in confusion.
“What about Miss Kent?” he asked.
“Well, you can’t just leave her,” she said. “She needs your help. You promised to help her.”
“Well, of course I will,” Myles said. “As soon as I get the money.”
“But that means you will have to come back here,” she said. “Won’t you?”
Myles sighed.
“I will perhaps mail it,” he said. “Or get the solicitor to deliver it. Now, I really must go. The carriage is waiting.”
Lady Emily was normally quite fast on her feet, and quite quick to call after him. Today, however, she was completely at a loss for words. She had no idea what to say, and so she fell silent.
She normally didn’t cry in public, but she felt a single tear slipping down her cheek as he climbed into the carriage. She understood now exactly how Catherine had felt just a few moments ago.
She tried to tell herself that this was silly; that it would have been impossible to marry Myles. Furthermore, who knew if he wasn’t already married? He still seemed to be missing gaps in his memory, and a wife and family could be two of them.
She knew that he probably wasn’t married, and the fact that he was going away was all her fault. She had to do something, before she never saw him again. There was no reasoning with him now, but maybe if she caught up with him in a few days, he would calm down and see reason.
Maybe if she headed to London herself, and happened to run into him, then all would be mended. He would be calm, he would listen to her story of why she had said such things, and he would fall in love with her as she was falling in love with him.
At least, she hoped that would be the way it worked. If she couldn’t have Myles, she wasn’t sure she would ever want anyone at all.
Chapter 11
Lady Emily normally saw opportunity in everything. She saw opportunity in the clear blue sky, and she saw opportunity in the fact that the birds were chirping, or the silver was extra polished. Hers wasn’t normally described as a sunny personality, but she was described as determined.
These days, though, everything was grey. She moped around the house, she asked Catherine to go home, and she barely showed up at meals. Her father was confused at first, until he realized that she spent a few days lingering outside the guest room, where Myles had stayed, at least twice a day. It was then that Sir Preston asked if her mood was connected to Myles
’s disappearance.
“Of course not,” Lady Emily said, although she felt like her heart would break. “Why would that be the case?”
Sir Preston sighed.
“Well,” he said. “Maybe Catherine and the baroness can tell you how he is.”
Lady Emily felt that was an odd thing to say and she raised an eyebrow.
“Why would they tell me that?” she asked.
“Because they left for London yesterday,” he said. “To find Myles. It turns out that he and Catherine...possibly had a future to pursue together.”
Lady Emily choked.
“I’m sorry?” she said in shock. “Yesterday?”
“Yesterday,” he said. “I thought you knew?”
“No,” Lady Emily said. “Catherine and I have not exchanged any letters since she went home. In fact, I’m afraid she went home on bad terms with me.”
“Bad terms?” Sir Preston said. “But you two have been friends for years.”
“Yes,” Lady Emily said. “I suppose all friends have...disagreements from time to time.”
“That they do,” Sir Preston said. “I do hope you make up.”
“Perhaps I could go to London, to apologize to her?” Lady Emily said and Sir Preston scoffed at the idea.
“Don’t be silly, my dear,” he said. “You can apologize to her next time you see her. I am sure all will be well. Besides, next time you see her, you might have to congratulate her. I heard that she may be a married woman, if what the baroness says is true.”
Lady Emily felt all the colour drain from her face.
“You think she and Myles are going to marry?” she asked, and Sir Preston shrugged.
“Perhaps,” he said. “Although I don’t see how her father would say yes. He holds the same opinions of Americans as I do.”
Lady Emily had never felt so many emotions at once. She felt like she might lose her mind and scream, and cry all at once.
“Father,” she said, trying to keep her emotions in check. “I think I might go for a walk in the garden.”
“Of course, my dear,” he said. “I am pleased that you want to walk outside. It will do you good.”
“Yes,” Lady Emily said. She was making plans to see Edward, but she didn’t want Sir Preston to know. If he did, he might offer to come, to visit Edward’s father, and she couldn’t have that right now. “I’ll see you later.”
“Take your time,” he said. “The sunshine will be good for you.”
“Indeed, it will,” she said and stormed out of the house.
This was the second time in a short while she made the long walk to Edward’s. Normally, such sessions were a year apart, as she rarely let such strong emotions get the better of her. Today, however, she made even better time than she had the last time. To her dismay, though, Edward wasn’t in the orchard and he wasn’t anywhere to be seen in the grounds. Lady Emily was worried that he might not be home when she knocked on his door, exhausted and sore. She supposed she could have taken the carriage, but that would have led to suspicion.
“Hello,” she said, when Edward’s butler James answered the door. “I need to speak with your master, at once.”
“I am afraid my master is indisposed at the moment,” James said. “But perhaps I could take a message?”
“No,” Lady Emily said. She did not care in this moment what Edward was doing. She needed to see him. “You will tell him I am here, and he will see me.”
“Lady Emily…” James said, and she looked him straight in the eye.
“Tell him I am here, James,” she said, and James backed down.
“Of course, my lady,” he said. “But I am afraid he will not see you.”
“Oh, he will,” Lady Emily said and went into the parlour, where she usually waited.
Edward’s parlour was grand, full of gilded books and beautiful decorations. It had been a family home for generations, and she often admired the skill of the artists who had painted their family portraits. They adorned the walls and she saw generations of men who looked like Edward, with their sharp eyes and knowing smiles.
She always thought it was interesting how men who went hundreds of years back in his family could all have the same gaze; as if looking out from the past. She didn’t particularly feel like she looked like any of her relatives; and she knew she certainly didn’t act like them.
But then Lady Emily didn’t mind not acting like them. The women in her family didn’t seem to speak up very much, or live on from their eras except as names beside their husband’s. She wanted to be remembered in her own right, even if she had no idea what future she wanted to carve for herself.
“Lady Emily,” she heard Edward’s voice and turned around. She expected him to be a little frazzled, or even slightly annoyed that she was interrupting him. Edward always made time for her, even when he was in the middle of meetings. She would never demand his attention unless she needed it, and she always thanked him for the advice afterwards. Today, however, she felt guilty about barging in. Edward was pale, and drawn, and he looked a bit green as he approached her. He was dressed, but it looked like he had done it hastily. He reached out his hand to the chesterfield and steadied himself on it. “What can I do for you?”
“I didn’t know you were unwell,” she said. “I apologize.”
He winced at that.
“Is it that obvious?” he answered. “I thought I was putting on rather a good act.”
“You, uh...” she paused and then decided there was no point in lying. “Yes, it’s that obvious. Whatever is the matter?”
“I suspect it’s just a temporary illness,” he said. “Half the servants had it last week and they seemed to be recovering just fine. I’m sorry I didn’t come to call on you yesterday, but I felt it coming on.”
“No, I apologize,” she said. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have...”
“Come?” he finished her sentence, as they used to do when they were children.
“No, I still would have come,” she said, with a smile. “I just perhaps would have not been so loud about it.”
He smiled and pointed to the chesterfield. She sat down and he settled himself on the other side. He really did look dreadful, and Lady Emily half wondered if she should ring for tea herself. Edward seemed to be fighting pain, and she hoped she wasn’t causing him anymore.
“What can I do for you?” he asked. “Did you walk over here?”
“I did,” she said.
“My, my, the situation must be desperate then,” he replied. “To walk over here twice in one year speaks volumes of the seriousness of the situation.”
“No, it’s not like that,” she said, and then paused. “Actually...it is. There is no point in denying it. I have got myself into a disaster, Edward, and I have no way of getting out of it.”
“A disaster?” he asked, as he settled himself back on the sofa. “Do tell?”
“Well,” she said. “While you have been hiding here, no doubt heading to your sick bed...Catherine returned to my house. But I’m afraid something changed while she was away.”
A Lady's Taste For Temptation (Historical Regency Romance) Page 21
