Once Upon A Karma (Karmic Krystal Book 1)

by Malezer, Rosie

  The next morning, I wake to find that it is pouring rain. There is no more noise outside from crackling fireworks. Mindy and I climb back up onto my bed with Ralph and decide to sleep in, as we slowly morph into a pair of slugabeds. I eventually wake up again just before lunch time, only to find that Mindy is no longer in my bedroom.

  “She had to pee and almost broke your door,” Tania explained. “I took her downstairs so she can go to the toilet and sniff stuff. She peed near Daddy’s work bench because she didn’t want to pee in the rain.” When I glance over at Mindy, snoring and fast asleep on the sheepskin rug in the living room, I see her ears move when we say her name. You aren’t fooling anybody, young lady! I know you are pretending. As soon as the thought crosses my mind, Mindy’s tail starts to wag, almost like she knows she has been caught out.

  It isn’t long to go before I am four years old. Remembering my sister’s misadventure last year, I am a little bit daunted by the big bad world of kindergarten. I am also quite nervous as it will be the first time I spend a full day away from my parents since the incident with my grandfather. I contemplate taking Ralph to kindergarten with me, but soon change my mind after discussing the idea with my sisters.

  “Everybody will want to play with him and they might break him,” says Leena. “I think you should let Ralph stay here at home so Mummy doesn’t feel so lonely in the day time.”

  “Yeah!” Tania agrees. “You don’t want somebody to sneeze on him either, because yuck. Mummy can take care of him. Maybe she can take him to the shops with her when she buys food? Mindy can also talk to Ralph when she gets bored.”

  Both of my sisters make very good arguments about why Ralph should stay at home with our mother. I had also seen for myself how good Ralph is at protecting people. He’d beaten the crap out of my grandfather before he died. Not wanting anything bad to happen to my mother when she is at home alone, I agree that Ralph can stay at home too. I also explain to Mum that she does not have to be sad or lonely when my sisters and I are away all day because Ralph will take care of her. This makes her smile. She hugs Ralph and then hugs me. “Thank you, Krystal,” she whispers, a tear in her eye.

  My first day of kindergarten arrives. I am still a little bit nervous as Mum drives me to school. Although she knows that I have been there before, she fears that her youngest daughter is about to start a very scary day. But I am just nervous, not afraid. All of the other children will be here for their very first time and I guess they might not be as brave. They were not here when the horrible boy and his mum bounced down the stairs last year. I know about how strange things can happen to mean people.

  When I arrive, some of the children are already crying. They don’t want to be away from their parents. I take a deep breath, feeling confident that Ralph will look after and protect my mother when I am not at home, so I walk into the building with my head held high and look for a book. Most of the books have no words. Each page just has a picture of an animal with a letter above it. I guess this is the book which will teach us how to write our names, as I recognise some of the letters that my sisters have taught me. Standing in the doorway, my mother stares at me as I am about to find a seat in the corner. Not wanting her to worry, I run over and hug her before she leaves and kiss her on the cheek.

  “I love you, Mummy. Be brave for me, okay? Ralph will protect you today,” I say to her. She taps my arm because I hug her too tight, but when I see her face, she is smiling at me. With tears in her eyes, she tells me how proud she is of me. She also tells me that she is surprised that I am growing up so fast. I hope this is not a sad surprise for her.

  When all the parents are gone, the other kids and I gather in the main room. I go back to my quiet corner and sit down with my book, already a little bit bored. A young girl called Sharyn comes over and sits next to me.

  “What are you reading?” she asks.

  “Alphabet and pictures,” I tell her and show her the book. She looks surprised that I know the word ‘alphabet’ already. I smile and tell her that my big sisters taught me some things and that I am not so smart. She tells me her name and I tell her mine. We smile at each other and suddenly I don’t feel nervous any more. Sharyn is my very first friend who is not my sister. Sitting close to her, I share the book and we look at the pictures together. I tell her some of the letters that I know. After I say the letter, she says the name of the animal in the picture.

  “Children, listen to me, please!” says the teacher loudly. We all stop talking and look at the teacher, wondering if she is angry that we are talking so loud. “I want you each to stand up one at a time, when I point to you. You will then say your name to everybody and introduce yourselves. Once you have said your name clearly, you can then sit down so the next person I point to can do the same,” the teacher says.

  Immediately, some of the children start to cry. I wonder what is going on inside their heads to frighten them so much. Maybe they are afraid that something bad will happen to them when they stand up? Gazing at each child, I can see their fears materialise inside my mind. Some are afraid of so many new people. Others are sad that they are not with their mothers. One is afraid because he just soiled his underwear and is too embarrassed to tell the teacher.

  Sharyn and I then notice two boys fighting over a toy. Really? Is that all boys know how to do, is fight? They both play tug-of-war with the small car while trying to push each other away. The teacher walks over to the two boys and tries to break up the fight. In return, one of the boys bites her on the arm. Everybody is shocked, including me.

  “Hey, don’t bite!” the teacher yells at the boy.

  “Fuck you!” yells the little potty mouthed boy. “That douche had my car!”

  He bites the teacher again. I see blood start to trickle down her arm as she screams out loud. Sensing the teacher’s pain, my face suddenly feels hot with anger. Glaring at the boy who has no manners, I think about what would happen if the roles were reversed. Before my very eyes, the teacher’s pain transfers itself directly to the boy and he screams in agony. When he looks down, his own teeth marks are showing on his arm and some blood is seeping from the bite.

  “You bit me!” screams the boy at the teacher. “I am telling my mother on you!” he continues to prattle on. Unfortunately for the young misfit, there is a room full of children who saw the boy bite the teacher, and not the other way around. Sensing that the teacher can feel no more pain on her arm, I feel pleased and smile sheepishly.

  The teacher takes the boy by the ear and marches him into her office. She rings the boy’s mother to come and collect him immediately. When the mother arrives, she is not surprised at all that her son bit the teacher. She then sees the bite on his arm and asked which child bit her boy.

  “Your son bit himself, Ma’am,” the teacher says glaringly. “I am afraid that you will need to find a different kindergarten for your son. He is no longer a student here as he poses a risk to the other students. I will be notifying the Board of Education of his behaviour and it will be on his permanent record.”

  I love the balls on this teacher. She reminds me a lot of my mother, who is also not afraid to say it like it is. I admire people who refuse to back down to bullies. I also now like this teacher. Sharyn and I both smile at each other as the boy and his mother leave the room, red-faced. We are pleased to know that he will not be returning. When I glimpse over at the teacher’s arm, I am stunned to see that bite has fully healed. Sweet!

  “Let’s start again, shall we?” says the teacher, much calmer than she had been just moments before. “Who wants to go first?” I raise my hand and stand up.

  “My name is Krystal and I hate bullies,” I say proudly. Some of the children giggle. The teacher smiles at me and nods her head as Sharyn stands up next to me.

  “My name is Sharyn and Krystal is my best friend!” she says, standing with her head held high and completely unafraid.

  Her words take me by surprise. Never before had I ever been somebody’s best friend! Sharyn an
d I smile at each other. It gives me a happy feeling that Tania and Leena’s first days were most likely the same as this. As each child stands and introduces themselves, I start to find it difficult to remember their names. By the time they have all had their turn, the only people’s names I remember are my own and Sharyn’s. Good grief! I pray there will not be a test.

  The teacher smiles at us, obviously pleased, and says “My name is Mrs Tucker, and I welcome you all as students to Cribb Island Kindergarten!” I start to cheer and applaud but quickly stop when I realise that nobody else is doing so. How embarrassing! “We will have much fun this year,” she continues after glancing at me strangely. “You will learn to write your name and you will learn colours and how to paint and draw. If you have any problems at all, please be sure to tell me and I will see how we can solve the problem. Does that sound okay?” she asks.

  “YEEEESSSSSS,” all of the children respond at the same time. I can’t help but giggle at the drawn-out, synchronised response. We are then all assigned a giant square pigeon hole. Each one has a name which corresponds to one of the new students. After locating my own, I put my jacket and shoes into the pigeon hole and wait for Sharyn to do the same.

  The teacher asks us to find a partner, as we are going to do some painting and learn colours. Thankful that I had just taken off my favourite shoes, I grab Sharyn and some paper. Aprons are distributed, along with some watercolours, a cup half-filled with water and some paintbrushes.

  “What are you going to draw?” I ask my painting partner, matter-of-factly.

  “Uhhhmmm… I don’t know,” Sharyn replies. “What about you?”

  “I might draw Ralph,” I say excitedly.

  “You are going to draw vomit?”

  It takes a minute or two for me to figure out what Sharyn was talking about. As I had never before watched American television shows, I had no idea that “ralf” and “vomit” were used in the same meaning until she explained it to me. “No! Ralph is my toy bunny. He sleeps with me at night and keeps me safe from all the bad things,” I explain.

  “Oh. I don’t have a Ralph. I have a cat called Minx, though!” she says proudly.

  “I wish I had a cat, but Daddy won’t allow it. He doesn’t like them but won’t tell me why. We have a dog called Mindy. We used to have a dog called Rusty but he is dead now,” I tell her while I paint Ralph’s face onto the paper using pink and yellow paints.

  “Why is he dead?” she asks, awakening a painful thud inside my chest. Pushing tears down, I am unable to answer Sharyn’s question. We continue to paint silently. When I look up at Sharyn’s picture, I am almost tempted to pat it… her cat called Minx. The pictures are all hung to dry as we eat our packed lunches, followed by our afternoon nap. When I wake, the painted papers are cut so that each picture can be taken home by its artist.

  The day ends before I realise it. Where did the time go? I hug Sharyn goodbye and tell her that she is my best friend too. Her face lights up and she smiles. I can’t wait to tell my sisters and my parents that I have my very first ever best friend!

  All of the parents arrive to pick up their children. When the children are gone, I am left sitting on the top stair at the front of the kindergarten, waiting, wondering where my mother is. She is never late for anything but I know that she is safe because Ralph is with her. The teacher starts tidying up the classroom as I continue to sit on the stairs. I hope nothing has happened to Mummy and Ralph! Eventually, I go back inside the classroom and help Mrs Tucker clean the paintbrushes and put the dirty aprons into the washing basket.

  “I am sure they will be along soon, Krystal,” the teacher smiles at me, reassuringly. I hope she is right.

  When it starts getting dark, Mrs Tucker contemplates taking me home in her car. As she is locking up the kindergarten, my father finally arrives. He looks angry and sad at the same time. I wonder if I have done something bad to upset him. Quietly, I climb into the car, sensing the anger coming off him in waves. When my teacher asks him if everything is alright, he simply tells her how sorry he is for being late.

  Back at home, Dad and I go upstairs without saying a word to each other. I start to panic when I look in the living room and see my mother and two sisters. Did somebody die? I know that whatever is going on, it has to be serious. I sit next to my sisters and wait for our parents to say something. Looking at my mother’s face, I can see that she has been crying.

  “Today, a big secret was revealed to me. I need to ask you girls something,” my dad finally speaks, “…and please, don’t ever be afraid to come to me and tell me the truth, okay?” My sisters and I glance at each other before looking back at Dad. Silently, we nod at his request. The sullenness in the room continues and I start to get a very bad feeling coming from both of our parents.

  “Today, I found out that your grandfather was a very bad man. He has done horrible things to many children. He also did these things to his own children,” he says. Tears roll down my mother’s cheeks. Oh no! Mummy, he hurt you too? In my head, I ask the Goddess for strength.

  “Before he died, did Grandpa ever do anything bad to you? Did he ever touch you in a bad way?” my dad asks. It seems to take every bit of effort for him to stay calm. “Did your grandfather ever touch the private areas on your body?” I can feel every bit of anger he feels. It continues riding off him in waves. From my mother, I feel shame, anger and embarrassment – the very same feelings I felt when my grandfather put his hands down my pants two years ago. I know that I have to think carefully with what I am about to say.

  “Yes,” I tell my parents, honestly. “He hurt me but now he is dead. I am glad he is dead because he is a monster.” There, I said it. Finally there are no more secrets.

  “He touched me too,” says Leena. Her face is red and, again, I feel the shame and hurt radiating off her in bucket loads. Tears of anger fill my eyes. I didn’t know he had hurt my sister too!

  “And me,” says Tania quietly. She pulls her knees to her chest and hugs herself. Quiet tears roll down her cheeks and I know that she is afraid. My mother sobs uncontrollably. It puzzles me as to why my father isn’t comforting her. I stand up and walk over to my mum, gently putting my arms around her. This time I do not hug too tight.

  “It will be okay, Mummy,” I say. “You will be okay.”

  Dad suggests we go to see a doctor to talk through our feelings since tears are becoming an all-too-frequent thing in our house. A few days later, his suggestion becomes reality and we find ourselves sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. He is a mind doctor and he wants to check that our brains are in our heads, I think. Mum goes into the office by herself while Dad sits outside with the three of us girls.

  “Daddy, is my brain gone now?” I ask.

  “What? What’s gone?” he says, startled away from his overwhelming thoughts.

  I enquire again as to why we are seeing a doctor who wants to look into our heads. My dad says my brain is just fine and asks me to sit down and play with the abacus on the floor. Leena and Tania are both playing with it already and, not wanting to interrupt their fun, I start putting building blocks on top of each other to see how high I can make a tower.

  “Ow!” screams Tania. She starts crying and I notice her finger caught on a loose wire on the abacus. It has pierced right through her finger. Dad examines it and is unable to pull the wire out without hurting Tania even more. Nothing hurts my family and lives!

  “Let my sister GO!” I scream at the abacus.

  The wire immediately dislodges from my sister’s finger. Tania sticks her finger in her mouth to try and stop it from hurting and bleeding. I feel bad for my sister. Not wanting her to feel any pain, I try to transfer it entirely to the abacus, but instead of the wire pricking itself, the whole abacus completely disintegrates to dust before our eyes. Silence fills the room as all of our eyes grow wide with shock. Dad looks from the pile of dust to me and then back to the dust again. He seems to forget how to speak.

  Mum comes out o
f the doctor’s office and asks my father to take Leena in to see the doctor while she waits outside. Dad instead tells Mum to take Leena in while he has a talk with me. Uh-oh! I know that he is about to yell at me for breaking the doctor’s abacus. Without any pocket money to spare, I also know that I will be 30 years old before I have paid for the damage. My dad looks at Tania’s finger, only to discover that it is completely healed. There is no hole, no blood – just a healthy finger that seems to have been completely untouched by any wire.

  “Did you do that?” he asks softly.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sorry,” I say, hoping that he will not smack me. I have seen children being smacked before by their parents. It doesn’t look like fun.

  “I am not angry at you, sweetheart,” my dad says. “No secrets, remember?”

  I nod my head and tell him that I don’t know if I did it. But if I did do it, I am sorry and I will get a job and pay for it. Trying not to giggle, Dad accepts that I had not done anything intentionally. He also tells me not to worry about getting a job because he will pay for a new abacus, but he wants to continue our discussion a little bit later.

  Leena comes out of the room. Both my mum and my sister are crying. I go and sit with them to comfort them both. Dad takes Tania in to speak with the doctor.

  “Did he hurt you?” I ask Leena and my mum. “He doesn’t stick a needle in your brain, does he?” I am terrified of needles.

  “No, Krystal,” my mother replies. “No needles. He just wants to talk.”

  Fifteen minutes later, my dad brings Tania out from the doctor’s office. Tania is crying. Dad looks completely rattled by whatever had just taken place inside the doctor’s office. Now I am really getting scared. Anybody who can freak my dad out must be quite terrifying!

  “Krystal, come with me please,” my father says gently. He takes my hand and I feel love and warmth radiating from his palm.

  Inside the doctor’s office, I climb up onto my father’s lap and sit on his knee. The doctor tells me that I am not allowed to sit on anybody’s knee during this visit. I have to sit on a chair by myself. Dad lifts me down and sits me beside him in my own chair. The doctor then tells my father sharply to let go of my hand.