What Remains

by Sandra Miller

The buttons down the front helped her control the amount of skin she wanted to show. With a little bit of cleavage, and a little thigh displayed, she felt feminine without appearing too exposed. Her image in one of those dreaded three-sided mirrors in the shop’s dressing rooms helped her decide. If it looked good on her in front of one of those things, it was a must buy.

  Although vanity had never been one of her many faults, having a romantic interest in her life, had Tess wanting to take more interest in her personal appearance. After all, what was wrong with her wanting to look pretty once in a while? Sometimes, the way Gregory looked her when she put forth an effort, made her pulse quicken. After years of being told no one else would ever want her, it was nice to have a man find her desirable.

  Her hair, which she actually took the time to curl, was left down, which was a rare decision. Perhaps she should have done more with it. But it was simply too much effort to try and fix now at the length it was at, falling somewhere around her waist. The only decision she questioned was the new pushup bra she purchased on a whim. Maybe it was too much? It really emphasized the only thing about her body that she didn’t have an issue with being too large. Tessa had inherited her mother’s bosom, so it was hard for her to criticize them. Besides, the way the dress was tailored, the size of her chest helped show off the fact that she again had a waist. A fact she was very pleased with. Since arriving at the Collins’ Estate, she had lost the last ten pounds of her depression weight, accrediting it to her vacation at Martha’s Vineyard when she began running again.

  The sound of the chimes, whose specific ring denoted it came from the kitchen door, forced Tessa to abandon her reflection and scurry to let him in. The gleam in Gregory’s eyes pleased her, but her sense of pride was brought down a notch or two when he sniffed the aroma of the Buletten and his smile broadened. Oh well, it was hard for a girl to compete with the smell of fried ground round. Besides, he saw females on campus half her age, with far better figures, wearing far less, everyday.

  The sudden realization of this fact helped vanish her fear of appearing too risqué in her pushup, and the anxiety that came from her decision to finally sleep with him tonight. It was time. For she instinctively knew from his slight emotional withdraw from her that if she did not consummate their relationship soon, she would lose him. He was growing weary from their nights of heavy petting that resulted in a lot of sexual frustration and cold showers for both of them.

  “Wow, I can’t believe you live here. It must be nice,” Gregory commented as she had him help carry their evening’s meal to her apartment. She would have prepared it there, but the main kitchen was far better equipped and ventilated. The smell of paprika would have lingered in her apartment for weeks. And she happened to like the way it smelled now, of roses that grew outside her windows.

  “It’s a little ostentatious for my tastes, but it’s starting to grow on me, I guess.”

  “Yeah, but what I wouldn’t give to live like this. How many rooms does it have?”

  Shrugging off the question with indifference, Tessa answered, “I don’t know exactly.”

  Passing through the library, Gregory’s first reaction was the same as hers had been; one of admiration, and curiosity. But unlike Tessa, he refused to deny his curiosity and piled the containers of food down one of the tables in order to begin exploring the thousands of volumes housed in the two stories of shelves.

  Not wanting to insinuate that he was forbidden to satisfy his need to rummage through the Collins’ Estate library, Tessa stood idly by and gave him free reign to hurry from shelf to shelf, and up the spiral iron staircase to inspect the massive collection of literature. Every few seconds, he was calling out to her excitedly about titles he was finding that were first editions or extremely rare.

  After quite some time had passed, Tessa decided to take the food back to her apartment without his assistance, rather than hamper his childish enthusiasm, which she found very cute, but also a little disheartening considering the fact she had assumed he was coming to spend the evening with her. Not only that, but it seemed very much like an invasion of Seth’s privacy. How would Gregory react to someone going into his apartment and rummaging through his belongings? He had been very gracious in allowing her to have guests come into his home. She did not want to take advantage of his generosity or his trust.

  Hoping that Gregory would soon grow bored with the activity, Tessa took her time setting the table at her breakfast nook and lighting the candles she had bought to try and make a meal of meat and potatoes more romantic. It was going to be a special evening, and she wanted everything to be perfect. Which reminded her, she wanted to put on the expensive perfume she had spent two days agonizing over whether she could afford.

  Spraying just a small bit of it into the air, Tessa swirled under it so as not to waste even the tiniest amount. Glancing briefly in the mirror as she exited the bathroom, and seeing the wild sense of hope in her own eyes, she became aware of just how much Gregory’s attention meant to her. By morning, maybe he would finally realize that his patience with her had not gone unnoticed or appreciated. She wanted so much to be worth the wait, and hoped she hadn’t forgotten how to seduce or satisfy a man.

  Now standing at the entrance of the library, Tessa smiled as she watched him, completely lost in his excitement.

  “Dinner is getting cold,” she called out to him where he stood on the second level of shelves.

  Grinning cheerfully, he took the time to reshelf the book currently in his hands and leaned over the banister.

  “You know, I’ve always had this crazy fantasy about making out in a library.”

  Standing there in a white tee-shirt that showed off the tattoos on his muscular arms, and a pair of faded jeans that drew her attention to the fact that he was a young man well-endowed in several areas of his life, Tessa sighed inwardly. She had never had such a fantasy before, but she definitely did now.

  “Oh yeah, I have a library fantasy, too,” she grinned. “But mine is about actually returning my books on time for a change.”

  “You know what my fantasy is?” Seth grumbled as he made his presence known when he walked into the room from the opposite end of the library. “To have a housekeeper who actually answers the phone when I’m trying to call.”

  If Tess could have found away to disappear, she surely would have. The humiliation of having him overhear a very private conversation caused her to feel as if she was going to spontaneously combust there on the spot where she stood motionless.

  “I’ve been outside most of the day with the dogs.”

  “We have an answering machine.”

  “Yes, I know,” she said softly, sensing darkness in his mood that she hadn’t seen since their argument the day he came home and found her missing.

  “Then I suggest you start using it.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Tessa was not only embarrassed but hurt by his remarks, so she remained subdued as she made the introductions.

  “Gregory, this is Seth Richards. Seth this is Gregory.”

  When Greg’s friendly wave from the balcony drew no reaction from Seth, she smiled up at him, and silently implored him to come down, which he did. Offering her a playful wink as he descended the stairs, he approached Seth with his hand extended and a gracious smile.

  “It’s nice to finally get to meet you, Mr. Richards.”

  “Same here,” Seth remarked, though it sounded forced.

  Up to that point, she hadn’t realized that Mr. Richards had brought home a guest. Kristen. And by the way he ignored her, Tess would say her presence there was not due to the fact that she had been invited; it seemed to be more of a case that she had invited herself. Maybe the cold shoulder she was getting from her self-proclaimed fiancé was what prompted her to cast all of her attention on to Gregory.

  “Seth, aren’t you going to introduce me,” the young woman asked, coming from around his back where she had been hidden from view.

  “Gregory, Kristen—Krist
en, Gregory,” he muttered.

  Kristen smiled brightly as she offered Gregory her hand, looking stunning in her snug fitting blouse that was unbuttoned to her sternum and tight black leather pants.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Gregory.”

  By the expression on Gregory’s face, Tess could tell that the feeling was mutual. And why wouldn’t it be? Kristen was a very attractive young woman, and by the way she was looking at him, it was obvious that she appreciated his appearance as well. He looked extremely virile and masculine standing there inked up with primal tribal markings.

  After watching the exchange between them, Tessa’s first instinct was to run and change, feeling utterly ridiculous in her pathetic second-hand dress, looking more like a Sunday school teacher than a seductress. And to think she had been so proud of herself for finally losing the muffin top. Kristen didn’t even have an abdomen for god’s sake. The young woman was so thin that even her B-cup breasts seemed huge and disproportionate with the rest of her body.

  Memo to self: Next time—screw it and wear the damn sweat pants.

  Poor Seth on the other hand, appeared as uncomfortable as Tess, standing there stuffy and rigid, with his tie barely loosened and only the top button of his hundred dollar shirt undone.

  “Maybe we should head back to my apartment so we’re not intruding,” Tessa suggested, hoping to put an end to the awkward moment.

  “No, don’t be silly. Let’s have a few drinks and do something,” Kristen interjected. “Why don’t we play pool? That would be fun, don’t you think, Seth?”

  “I’m sure Ms. Maguire would like some time alone with her date.”

  “No, I’d like to,” Gregory chimed in before turning his attention to Tess. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “It’s up to Mr. Richards since it’s his house.”

  “Whatever,” he responded surly.

  “Great, it can be them against the two of us. The haves against the have-nots.”

  Unable to keep from smiling at the casual manner in which he summed things up precisely as he put his arm around her, Tessa avoided eye contact with Seth. Let him endure the discomfort of the evening. She had given him fair warning about having Gregory over. Multiply that by the fact that he had picked Kristen up by some unfortunate mishap before leaving Boston probably had him ready to blow his top.

  “I say we wager on the have-nots kicking your ass, Mr. Richards, what do you think?” Gregory provoked the situation even further as they entered the living room.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Greg,” Tessa protested before being rudely interrupted by Seth.

  “What kind of wager are you talking?”

  Gregory dug through pockets of his jeans and pulled out a twenty. He then looked toward Tess.

  “Do you have any cash on you?”

  Reluctant to answer, Tessa did anyway, just to show her allegiance. “I think I have some in my purse.”

  “Go check and see. Maybe we can make it an even hundred,” he encouraged with a boyishly charming smile.

  Kristen squealed with the delight of a woman who knew her date had the wage covered, and that none of her own hard earned money would be risked.

  “This is going to be so much fun!”

  Not quite as excited as the other female obviously, Tessa made the long trek to her apartment, where she found that she in fact had ninety dollars in her wallet, having not had the opportunity to put gas in her car yet. If they lost it, her budget would be shot, leaving her no other choice but to dip into her savings account for the rest of the week.

  After rejoining the others, Tessa handed the money over to Greg, who slipped her a quick kiss on the lips before tossing the money down on top of the billiards table.

  “Eight ball, twenty bucks a game.”

  Mr. Richards conceded to the terms with a curt nod before removing jacket and tie and loosening another button.

  The game was on.

  After Kristen, who was chosen to take the first shot, took her time positioning herself for the break, which also optimized the men’s view of her derrière, Tessa leaned over and whispered to her partner.

  “Did it ever occur to you that it might not be a good idea to play for money against a man who actually owns the table?”

  Gregory grinned. “I’ve got this. It’s how I earned my way through undergraduate school.”

  Even though Tessa nodded, she wasn’t convinced. Playing college kids was one thing, playing someone like Seth Richards was something else entirely. By taking a glance around the mansion, you could easily surmise he wasn’t a man who squandered away his money on bets he couldn’t win.

  As it turned out, Kristen was quite good, and made her first two shots. Tessa was up next. She had never even held a pool stick before. Wonderful. The evening just seemed to keep getting better.

  With Gregory standing close behind her to show how the stick was to be held correctly, which only proved to heighten her anxiety, Tessa’s first attempt ended with the pool stick flying out of her hands and across the table, crashing loudly on the wood floor in front of Seth.

  “Sorry,” she apologized shyly when he picked it up and returned it to her by reaching it across the table.

  By the intensity of his gaze, she could tell he was not as amused as their two guests who were enjoying a good a laugh at her clumsiness. After whispering a thank you to him, Tessa swallowed her pride and tried again. When Gregory leaned against her to demonstrate once more how to hold it, Seth suggested sternly that he back away and give her the opportunity to try it on her own.

  Nervous about the same thing happening again, she glanced briefly up at Seth who simply nodded to let her know she was doing fine. Although the cue ball failed to hit anything but the edge of the table, Tess considered it a success and gladly stepped away so that the next person could have their turn.

  As she had suspected, Seth cleared the table of all of their balls, leaving only the eight ball left. While Gregory was doing the same, Tessa wandered over to him.

  “Are the two of you wanting anything in particular for dinner? If not, I have plenty of Kartoffelpuffers and Buletten.”

  Surprisingly, he offered her his first, although restrained, smile of the evening. “Maybe later,” and then added as if he needed to explain Kristen’s presence. “She’s only here to get measurements. My mother graciously agreed to let her redecorate one of the rooms here for a class project. She’s in interior design school.”

  Nodding to say she understood, Tessa drifted back towards Gregory who was now looking quite proud of himself, having sunk all of their balls as well, which left the winning shot for Kristen, which she done with relative ease.

  Twenty bucks, gone.

  The rest of the evening passed in similar fashion. Within three hours, Tessa’s eighty dollars was gone, although, as fate would have it, Gregory managed to hold on to his twenty dollar bill that he stuffed back into his pocket. When he suggested that they make a late night of it, since neither of them had classes until the afternoon the following day, and watch their movie in her apartment, Tessa refused, stating that it had been a long evening, and they would have to watch it next week.

  By that time, the storm had moved in and was raging, prompting Mr. Richards to offer him a guest room for the night. Gregory accepted without hesitation, leaving Tess with the duty of preparing rooms for both of their guests. After supplying them with fresh towels, nothing was left but to bid him a good night.

  “Are you sure you’re too tired to stay up? It’s only midnight.”

  “I’m sure. I’m sorry that our evening didn’t go as planned.”

  “Are you kidding? I had a great time. I don’t care what we do as long as I’m near you.”

  “Thank you,” she smiled before he leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

  “I can always sneak to your apartment, you know.”

  Tessa took a step back and grinned, “Good night, Greg.”

  “I’m crazy about you, Tessa. I h
ope you realize that.”

  Unconvinced about the sincerity of his statement, considering the interaction between him and Kristen during the evening, Tessa made her way down stairs and along the hallways that led to the servant’s quarters. Tonight was a disappointment, but it also helped her see the situation between the two of them more clearly. She had dodged a bullet tonight. As much as the realization pained her, she was nothing more than a challenge to Gregory, and though she was well aware of the fact that she was nothing special, just once in her life, she wanted to be treated as if she were.

  “I traced the smell of food to your apartment,” Seth grinned as he stood at her door in his Harvard tee shirt and pajama bottoms.

  Physically and emotionally exhausted, Tessa wanted nothing more than to go to bed, but knew Seth was hungry, besides, she hated the idea of watching another fifty dollars go down the drain.