Stay with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 4)
Page 23
“Hi, Jace.”
“Hi.” Jace stood back from the door, where the wind blew snow across the threshold. “You must be freezing. Come on in.”
He stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Uh, can I take your coat, or, uh, are you cold? Do you want to leave it on?”
“No, it’s fine.” She shrugged her arms out of it, and Jace hung it across the back of a chair in the dining room.
“Come in,” he said again, motioning to the living room.
Bree stopped in front of the suitcase that sat at the bottom of the stairs. “Were you going somewhere?”
“I was, but that isn’t important now that you’re here.” He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. He leaned down and brushed her lips with his. “Why are you here, Bree?” he whispered.
“I needed to see you.”
Jace walked to the couch, holding her hand. “Come sit down. Your hands are so cold. I’ll light a fire.”
He did, and then sat next to her.
“I missed you, Jace,” she shifted back on the couch, farther away from him. “I’m sorry.”
He moved forward, closing the gap between them again. He reached out and cupped the side of her face. “For missin’ me? That’s not somethin’ to be sorry for, darlin’.”
“I should’ve called first,” she looked around, as though she expected to find someone else there. “You were leaving.”
“It’s okay, I already told you. That’s not important now.”
“Where were you going?”
“Colorado. Spur of the moment. I didn’t want to be here alone.”
“That’s why I’m here. We need to talk.”
“Okay.”
“Jace…I…I’ve been wrong about so many things. About Zack, about you, about us.”
“Bree, sweetheart—”
“Um, it was kind of a long drive. Sorry, but do you have a restroom I could use?”
Jace stood. “Of course, right here,” he led her around the corner. “Can I get you anything? Something to drink?”
“That would be nice.” She stepped into the bathroom, the one he’d just finished re-tiling, and closed the door.
Jace went into the kitchen. He didn’t have much. There was a bottle of brandy in the cupboard, behind the bourbon. Maybe she’d like that.
He poured two glasses and went back to the living room. Bree had pulled a blanket off the back of one of the chairs, and was draping it over herself.
“I thought this might warm you,” he handed her the glass.
“Thank you, Jace,” she smiled up at him.
“You drove? Where from?”
“Stanley. I was at the ranch. Well, not the ranch, it was closed for the season. I was at Red’s. He has a cabin on Pettit Lake. Did you know that? It’s beautiful, really beautiful. And it was so gracious of him to let me come and stay.”
His fingers caressed the side of her face. He leaned forward and kissed her. There were so many things he wanted to say, but instead, he’d listen. She came to him, and he needed to let her tell him why.
“Bree,” he whispered. “Why are you here?”
“It’s simple,” she rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Because I realized there wasn’t anywhere I’d rather be than with you.”
Jace closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tightened his arms around her. Before he could speak, Bree put her fingers on his lips.
“I care about you, Jace, but it’s more than that. I want to be with you.”
He wrapped his hand around hers and kissed her fingertips. “I want that too.”
“I hoped you did. Red told me you did.”
“Red had to tell you? You didn’t know?”
She shifted so her back rested against his chest. “There’s so much I’ve been wrong about. I didn’t want to be wrong about you.”
“What happened, sweetheart? Why did you go to Idaho?”
“When I got back from Thanksgiving break, I received a box. Someone, I still don’t know who, sent it to me at the Air Force Academy.”
“What was in it?”
“Zack’s journals. There were letters in the box too. At first I couldn’t read them. I started to, but it was too much. I called Red and asked him if I could come and stay, and then sent the box to him.”
“Go on.”
“I didn’t read them all. I didn’t have to. I learned more than I wanted to in the ones I did read. It wasn’t what I thought.”
“What wasn’t?”
“Our marriage. Our life. My life with Zack. We weren’t what I thought we were. Or he wasn’t. Or I wasn’t. I’m not making any sense, am I?”
“I’m listening.”
“After he died, all I could think was that we would’ve been okay. When he came back from Afghanistan, we would’ve been okay. We would’ve started a family. Now I realize, we wouldn’t have. We fought before he left. I told you that we didn’t say goodbye.”
“I’m sorry, darlin’.”
“But, Jace, I don’t want to talk about Zack. I want to talk about you.” She shifted again, so she could look into his eyes. “No one else showed me the kindness you did. But more, no one has ever made me feel the way you do.” She put her hands on his chest and clenched his shirt. “No one. Not even Zack. Especially not Zack.”
When she put her lips on his, Jace couldn’t hold back. His mouth took hers harder than he should’ve. He ran his hands down her sides and grasped her hips, pulling her closer to him. “I missed you so much,” he said into her mouth, before his tongue tangled with hers. He stood, offered his hand. When she stood as well, Jace picked her up and carried her upstairs.
Bree filled her lungs with the scent of him. He must’ve taken a shower just before she got there. She kissed his neck while he carried her, and ran her tongue over his skin. She nuzzled his ear as he rested his knees against the edge of the bed and slowly lowered her onto it.
His breath was ragged as he pulled her sweater up over her head, and tossed it aside. His gaze idly drifted over her, down to her jeans. He unfastened the button, eased the zipper down, and slid them over her hips. He threw those in the same direction as her sweater.
His lips ran from her ankle, up, trailing soft kisses from her knee to her thigh. His hands stroked over her belly, and when he reached her bra, he pulled at it, exposing her breasts. Jace ran his lips where his hands had been just before. He sunk his teeth into the cup of her bra, reached around, unfastened it, and pulled it away from her skin with his teeth.
His lips returned, nipping, then licking to soothe the sting. Her muscles rippled beneath the heat of his mouth. She gasped, she sighed, she groaned. She may have even screamed. She couldn’t hear anything above the roar of blood, pounding in her ears, her body, throbbing.
Bree watched Jace’s fiery gaze sweep over her body as he stripped his clothes away. She closed her eyes, waiting to feel him rest on top of her.
“Open your eyes and look at me,” he demanded. When she did, his eyes were trained on hers. “I want to know it’s me you see. Me making love to you. No one else.”
“I see you, Jace” she said, and gasped as he entered her. She dragged her nails down his back and felt him shudder. His slow, gentle movement changed. He quickened, bucking against her, slamming into her. He turned her brain to mush with his frantic, savage kisses. Soon, he threw his head back and groaned. She felt him shudder again, as she tightened her interior muscles around him, coming with him.
Jace didn’t move away from her but rested his body gently against hers. She ran her hands down his back, stroking his flawlessly hard body, and rested them on his bottom.
“Did you feel it?” he asked her.
“I think so, but did I feel what?”
“Best. Sex. Ever. Wanna know why?”
She giggled. “Why?”
He shifted suddenly, startling her, getting right in her face. “Because I love you.” His mouth descended on hers again. Fo
rcefully, his lips claimed hers, as his body had staked its claim on her, in her, just moments before.
21
Jace kissed her. “Happy Christmas Eve.”
“Mmm. Same to you too.”
“How do you feel this morning?”
“Tired, a little sore, and very well sated.”
“I have a little surprise for you, but it requires getting out of bed.”
“Do I have to? Can’t we just have breakfast in bed?” she smiled up at him.
“We could, but it’ll be cold by the time I get back here with it.”
“Huh?”
“We’re having breakfast in Monument, darlin’.”
“Oh, Jace,” she sat up suddenly. “I’m so sorry. You were leaving last night, and I stopped you. Do you want to go now? I mean, I can—”
Jace kissed her, running his tongue along her bottom lip until she opened her mouth under his.
“Get up and get dressed, woman. We need to get to Helena before Ben’s plane lands.”
“Ben’s plane?”
“You know Ben has a plane, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“He’s flying up as we speak, to ferry us down to Monument for Christmas.”
“Really?” Bree squealed.
Jace smiled and pulled her out of bed. “Get dressed, or we’ll be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Montana, in bed. I know you’d rather spend it with Cochran.”
She smiled at him from the passenger seat of his truck. “I can’t believe I’m going to be home for Christmas. Thank you, Jace, for making this happen.”
He reached over and brought her hand to his lips. “My pleasure, ma’am.”
When he told her he loved her, last night, it wasn’t about the sex. He really did love her. There wasn’t any doubt in his mind. They’d made love again, and then fell fast asleep. Jace still didn’t know if she felt the same.
“It’s so beautiful here. I had no idea.” The ground was covered in snow, and the big Montana sky stretched on forever. Every so often the sun would peek out of the ominous clouds forming, making the snow glisten. “You must love it.”
He did love it, but would she? Could she? For how long? “It’s isolated,” he muttered. “And cold.”
“Jace,” she laughed, “it sounds as though you don’t like it at all.”
“That isn’t it.”
“What is it, then?”
“It isn’t an easy life up here, Bree. Not everyone is cut out for it.” His tone was angrier than he intended it to be.
“You sound as though you’re mad at me.”
His face softened when he turned and looked at her. “No, darlin’, I’m not angry with you.”
His voice was soft and sweet, but Bree could feel an underlying tension emanating from him.
“We’re here,” he said. He hit the call button at the gate of the private air strip.
“Can I help you?” the voice on the other side bellowed.
“Jace Rice here. Has Ben Rice arrived? He was going to let you know—”
The box squawked, and the gate creaked open.
“I guess he’s here,” Jace muttered and drove through the gate. “Would be nice if I knew where I was going.”
Jace’s phone rang and he snapped it up. “Yeah?” Pause. “Okay, great. Thanks.”
“Ben?”
“Yep. Guess he got the same warm welcome from the tower.”
Jace pulled the truck close to the hangar, where there was a sign for parking. “It’s a hike,” he said. “And it’s damn cold. I wish I could get you closer, but this is it.”
He said he wasn’t angry with her, but something was bothering him. His voice hadn’t lost its edge.
“I’ll be fine, Jace.”
“I’ll get our bags, you go ahead. The plane is on the other side of this hangar. Ben will be waiting for you.”
“I can help. I’m not—”
He was out of the truck, the door slamming behind him, before she could finish her sentence. She opened her door and understood why he’d slammed his shut. The wind caught it, and she thought it would rip off the hinges. She managed to grab it with both hands and slam it closed.
“Go,” he motioned. “That way.”
Bree went in the direction he pointed. The snow was coming down hard, and it was difficult to walk into the wind. As she got closer to the hanger, she saw an open door.
“Come on in,” a voice shouted to her.
Jace was right behind her when she got inside.
“Hey, Ben. Sorry to bring you into this weather,” Jace said, shaking his hand.
“It’s okay. Hey, Bree.” Ben hugged her.
“Can we fly?”
“Waiting for word. The guy in the control tower said the weather is supposed to pass, but he didn’t offer much more information about when.”
“He was abrupt,” added Jace.
“Yeah, you could say that,” Ben laughed.
“I’m real sorry about this,” Jace said again.
“No worse weather than we get in Crested Butte,” Ben answered, looking at his phone. “Looks like it might be quick. It isn’t much of a storm, and it’s moving east. Come on over here; there’s a heater.”
Ben led them to a sitting area, furnished with a sofa that looked as old as Bree, and two ratty chairs.
“It isn’t much,” Ben said, noting the look on her face. “But it’s warm over here.”
Bree sat on the arm of the sofa. “I don’t mind.”
Jace took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “God, this is a clusterfuck. I’m sorry, Bree.”
“For what?”
“For livin’ out here, in the middle of nowhere. For gettin’ you into this. You should be home, sitting by a fire, playin’ with Cochran. Not up here, in a shit hole hangar, not knowin’ when we can even leave.”
“Wait just a minute,” she snapped, and then looked at Ben.
“I’ll just, uh, see if I can find a men’s room.” Ben walked away.
“Where is this coming from? You said you weren’t angry with me, but you’re sure acting as though you are. As far as what I should be doing, I came here, remember? I surprised you. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”
Jace looked at her but didn’t answer. She stood and put her arms around his waist. “What’s wrong? Please, just tell me. Is it because I didn’t—”
Jace pulled her arms from around his waist and took a step away from her. “I’m tied here, Bree. I can’t just walk away from it. It wouldn’t be fair to my parents. They aren’t cut out for doing this on their own. I can’t just abandoned them if you aren’t cut out for it either.”
“If I’m not cut out for what?”
“Yeah, I guess I’m getting pretty far ahead of myself, aren’t I? I mean, we haven’t even talked about why you’re here in the first place. Not really. I guess, I shouldn’t go assuming anything about next week, let alone the future.”
Bree sat back down on the arm of the sofa. “I’m not following you. I feel as though I’m supposed to read between the lines and figure out what you’re trying to say, but I’m lost.”
“You. Me. This place.” Jace paced in front of her. “I live on a ranch, darlin’, and when I’m not here, I’m in a rig, pulling a slew of bulls and broncs from one town to the next. It isn’t romantic. It’s damn hard work.”
“There’s only one thing I heard that you’re right about,” she stood and came toe to toe with him. “You’re doing a lot of assuming you shouldn’t be.”
“Yeah, right. I got it.” He turned his back to her and began to walk away.
“Wait a minute, dammit.” She grabbed his arm. “Jace? What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?”
Maybe she had been wrong about him. But last night, he told her he loved her. Did he regret saying it? Was that why he was behaving this way? Her eyes filled with tears, and she spun around, so he wouldn’t see. Why did she have to start crying? Now he would feel sor
ry for her, and they’d never get to the bottom of why he was acting the way he was.
“I understand if you don’t want me here. I should’ve called. I should’ve…well, there’s so much I should’ve done. I’m sorry, Jace.”
“I do want you here, Bree, but this is a damn hard life.”
“I can’t tell whether you’re saying this for my benefit or yours. Quit talking in circles.”
“I have responsibilities I can’t just walk away from.”
“Have I asked you to?” What was it about her that made Jace believe she was asking him to change his life? Why had Zack thought the same thing?
“I’m me, and you’re you. Right, Bree? I’m a rancher, and a rough stock contractor. I get dirty, and I shovel a lot of shit in the course of a day. I made a commitment to my parents, and to my partners. I’m not in a position to renege.”
She felt as though she was talking to a brick wall. “Why do you keep saying that, as though I’m asking you to?”
“Why did you come here? What is it that you want from me? If it’s casual sex, I gotta tell you, I can’t do it. Not anymore. I’m done bein’ the detour. I’m done bein’ the guy that offers comfort until you figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life, or who you want to spend the rest of your life with.” He spun her around so she faced him. “I love you, Bree. I know that might not mean much to you. You may think I was in love with Renie, and Blythe. I did too. But I wasn’t. Not like this. Nothing has ever felt like this.”
She couldn’t stop the flow of tears from her eyes. “Why are you pushing me away?”
“I ache for you, do you understand? Ache. I physically hurt, knowing you don’t feel the same way about me. I want you every minute of every day, and when we’re together, I get lost in you. Each time, I tell myself it’ll be different. I let go of the fear, and then you stick me with the same knife you have every other time. Do you know how I felt when you called to say you were going to Idaho for Christmas? Do you?”
She was crying too hard to answer.
“Do you?”
“I-I’m so sorry,” she hiccuped.
“Every time you pull away from me, you take another chunk of my heart.”