Lipstick and Lies

by Viggiano, Debbie

  ‘Well wherever Stevie is, I can promise you he’s not with Selina.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘She came into the office this afternoon. Looked a bit pale. But assured she was ninety per cent better and would be firing on all cylinders by tomorrow. She later went home with Ethan who was all over her like a rash. Selina was lapping up the attention. I’m afraid where Stevie is concerned he’s just an old dog. And it’s a shame he’s cancelled seeing Livvy and Toby, but leopards don’t change their spots. The sooner Charlotte realises that, the better. She’s a great kid and lovely looking. No disrespect to your ex-husband darling, but she can do miles better than him.’

  ‘Yes, I more or less told her the same thing.’

  ‘Charlotte will find somebody else. This time next year she might even be married.’

  ‘Mmm. Talking of marriage, your mum told me and the girls that Arthur had proposed.’

  Jamie shifted in his seat. A regrouping gesture. This was a topic he wasn’t comfortable with.

  ‘Oh yes. And did she say whether she’s going to accept his proposal?’

  ‘No. But she did say she was going to give it careful consideration.’

  Jamie nodded. ‘Good. Well at least she’s not rushing into anything. However, there’s a distinct absence of my mother this evening. Is she at Arthur’s again?’ At that moment the front door clicked. ‘Talk of the devil,’ Jamie muttered. He hauled himself up from the sofa. ‘Is that you Mum?’

  Edna walked into the lounge. She unbuttoned her coat. Her eyes looked very bright. I wondered if she’d been crying.

  ‘Everything all right Edna?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes thank you, Cassandra dear. I want you both to know I’ve turned down Arthur’s proposal of marriage.’ Jamie looked visibly relieved. ‘However, I have agreed to stay periodically at Arthur’s house and we will, of course, be sailing the boat together just soon as she’s ready.’

  ‘Why did you turn him down Mum?’ Jamie asked quietly.

  ‘Because we’ve only known each other five minutes. But that’s not to say I’ll turn him down again, if he asks me in six months time.’ Jamie arched an eyebrow. ‘Anyway, I won’t intrude on your evening. I’m going to have a bath and get myself off to bed. Goodnight dears.’

  Jamie stood up and kissed his mother goodnight.

  ‘Goodnight Edna,’ I called after my mother-in-law. I stood up too. It was gone ten and I did feel tired. Time to hit the pillow.

  ‘Going up darling?’ asked Jamie.

  ‘Yes. Shall I leave my bath water in?’

  ‘Please.’

  I wandered back out to the kitchen and picked up my mobile. I’d give Stevie a call while the bath was running. But upon calling his number, the phone rang unanswered. Eventually it went to voicemail. I hung up. Perhaps he was in the bath too. Half an hour later I tried him again. I listened with growing impatience to the ringtone. Stevie’s voicemail once more kicked in, inviting me to leave a message.

  ‘Where the devil are you?’ I barked irritably. ‘I’ve had Charlotte on the phone wanting to know if I’d seen you. I’m annoyed that you’ve cancelled seeing the twins this weekend, and I think you’re playing with fire skiving off work. Also I want to discuss Billy. I’ve had an idea. What about the kids see Billy with me? Can you give me a call tomorrow? If it’s not too much trouble,’ I added sarcastically. I pressed the disconnect button. Wretched man.

  Hours later I surfaced from sleep aware that something had awoken me. My ears strained to catch any untoward noises. Eddie’s baby monitor was faintly buzzing but otherwise silent. Jamie slumbered beside me, his breathing slow and steady. I turned over and was immediately aware of my mobile phone glowing on the bedside table. I picked it up, squinting slightly at its bright light. A text message. From Stevie. At three o’clock in the morning?

  Don’t leave me snotty voicemails again you stuck up bitch. And don’t contact me either.

  I blinked. Was I dreaming? I turned the bedside light on. No, I was definitely awake. I read Stevie’s text again. Well clearly he was up. And yes I would most definitely contact him again. Who the hell did he think he was! I tossed back the duvet, and padded silently across the carpet to the en-suite bathroom. Shutting myself in, I rang Stevie’s number. Once again it went to voicemail.

  ‘Stevie, you’ve just this second texted me. So why aren’t you picking up? Have you been drinking? I can think of no other explanation for the tone of your text message. There’s no need to be rude and unpleasant. Regarding Billy – tell you what, to hell with him. Why should I care about you wasting money? And as for not contacting you again – hellooo? You’re the father of my children, so of course I’ll be contacting you again!’

  God’s sake. Blasted man. I hung up and went back to bed. Annoyed, I grabbed my pillows and gave them a vigorous plumping before flopping back against the mattress. But I felt angry. And rattled. I thought Stevie and I had a good relationship. Having a pop at me and referring to me as a stuck up bitch was bang out of order. I’d give him another call tomorrow. And if he didn’t answer his phone next time around, then I’d be blasting his voicemail with both barrels.

  Chapter Twenty One

  The twins were unimpressed that their father had cancelled his weekend with them. They were also disappointed to be missing Billy Elliott.

  ‘I was really looking forward to it,’ Toby whined over the Cocoa Pops.

  ‘Whaddya wanna see that musical for?’ Jonas jeered. ‘Are you planning on being a ballet dancer?’

  ‘Shut up Jonas,’ Toby said good-naturedly. ‘I just happen to think it was an ace film and wanted to see the musical.’

  ‘Rather you than me, bud. I can’t be doing with pirouettes. Not unless they’re being done by Diane Cooper. And preferably in a tutu.’

  I bent down and wiped some squashed Cocoa Pops from the floor. ‘Who’s Diane Cooper?’

  ‘The most gorgeous girl in Year Ten,’ said Toby wistfully. ‘She’s in Petra’s class.’

  ‘Take it from me,’ said Jonas, ‘Diane Cooper has not even registered your existence.’

  ‘Actually I have a plan to make her notice me,’ said Toby smugly.

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Jonas goaded. ‘Are you going to imitate Billy Elliott and pirouette past her?’

  Petra came into the kitchen and caught the tail-end of the conversation. ‘You’re not twelve yet Tobes.’ She ruffled Toby’s hair affectionately. ‘Diane Cooper isn’t interested in little boys.’

  ‘She will be,’ Toby assured with supreme confidence.

  ‘You better let me in on your plan,’ Jonas winked at Toby, ‘and leave the big boys to do the flirting.’

  Livvy rolled her eyes. ‘You might be nearly thirteen and six feet tall Jonas, but you’re like a piece of string, and as unappealing as Toby. Plus you both have voices squeakier than a door hinge.’

  ‘If my plan is successful,’ said Toby, ‘then my voice will have more gravel than our driveway.’

  Jonas sat up straight. ‘Spill the beans Tobes.’

  ‘Laters,’ said Toby. He jerked his head in my direction.

  I pretended not to notice, and set about loading the dishwasher with bowls. The likes of Toby and Jonas trying to impress a girl called Diane Cooper were not of interest to me right now. I was far more concerned about making contact with Stevie. I’d give him another call shortly.

  ‘Good morning everybody,’ Jamie came into the kitchen. ‘And what have we here for breakfast? Oh. Cocoa Pops. Any chance of something hot?’ my husband glanced hopefully at the range.

  ‘Certainly.’ I reversed out of the dishwasher. ‘I can put your Cocoa Pops in the microwave if you wish.’

  ‘Ah. I see you’re not a sunny bunny this morning darling.’

  ‘I’m perfectly sunny thank you.’ I hunkered back down to my stacking. ‘I’m just a bit tired.’

  Not to mention queasy. That was why everybody had cereal for breakfast. The thought of standing at the range and frying bacon turned my stomach. U
nusually Edna wasn’t up and about. Most mornings she straddled an industrial-sized frying pan like a cello player. I hoped my mother-in-law was all right. It was unlike her to not be having breakfast with us all. My mind wandered back to last night, and her over bright eyes. Again, I found myself wondering if she’d been crying. I sighed. Did the path of true love ever run smoothly? Even when seventy-two? Jamie sat down. His face looked as bleak as the weather outside.

  ‘Sorry darling,’ I smiled apologetically. ‘I’ll cook you something nice tonight. Promise.’

  ‘Mum,’ Livvy piped up, ‘you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.’ My daughter got up from the table. ‘Not unless it’s something like fish fingers and chips.’

  The kids scraped back their chairs, and peeled off to bedrooms to sort out school bags. Seconds later Edna came into the kitchen. Jamie perked up. His expression said it all; any chance of a plate loaded with a few sizzling somethings?

  ‘I must have overslept,’ said Edna. ‘Are you all right Cassandra dear? You look a bit peaky.’ Edna pulled the frying pan from a cupboard and immediately began cracking eggs into it. And now a saucepan was making an appearance. A tin of baked beans were being opened. Jamie was looking as though he’d died and gone to heaven.

  ‘I do feel a bit rough actually Edna. I think I’ll borrow Rocket later on, and get some fresh air with Eddie.’ I paused. Studied my mother-in-law. She didn’t have quite her usual buoyancy. ‘No Arthur this morning?’

  ‘Oh, he’ll be along in a bit,’ Edna assured. ‘I think he’s,’ she focussed on the bubbling eggs, ‘licking his wounds. He was a bit upset about me turning down his marriage proposal. And I felt somewhat distressed at causing him hurt.’ Ah. ‘Do you want some eggs Cassandra dear?’

  I mentally shuddered. ‘No thanks.’

  ‘Is everything all right between you and Arthur?’ Jamie asked.

  ‘Right enough. He’s a good man. A nice man. He’s just feels somewhat discomfited that he – you know – allowed himself to be prematurely swept away by the M word.’

  ‘Is that all it is then Edna – a friendship?’ I asked gently.

  ‘Well,’ she flipped eggs onto plates and ladled on beans, ‘I can’t deny that I don’t think of Arthur romantically. Because I do. But marriage is a big leap of faith. And not one I can make just yet.’

  ‘Do you want me to have a word with him Mum?’ Jamie picked up his knife and fork. ‘I can take Arthur out for a few beers if you like.’

  ‘Oh no, Jamie dear. He’d die of embarrassment. Probably best he didn’t know you are even aware of his proposal, much less it being declined. He’s a proud man. And rightly so.’

  Jamie and I glanced at each other as Edna pulled out a chair.

  ‘So,’ Jamie nodded his head in the direction of the garage, ‘does that mean the boat project is still on?’

  ‘Oh yes! Most definitely. We aim to be sailing around the coast this Spring. There’s not a moment to lose with the restoration.’

  I went over to the playpen where Eddie had been gurgling happily. Leaning over the safety rail, I picked up my little boy before turning back to my mother-in-law. ‘Well I’m glad to hear it Edna. And I’m sure everything between you and Arthur will be fine. Just give him a day or two to recover his pride. You know what men are like,’ I smiled. ‘And talking of men, I must sort this young man out.’

  I hastened upstairs. En-route to Eddie’s nursery, I grabbed my mobile phone and punched out Stevie’s number. Clamping it to one ear, I deftly set about topping and tailing my little boy, whilst listening to unanswered ringing. Once again my call went to voicemail.

  ‘Hello Stevie. Me again.’ I wrestled Eddie into a nappy. ‘I’m not going to prevaricate. I know exactly what’s going on. You’re having an affair with Selina. Of all the women in the world, I don’t know why you have to mess around with that one. She’s an absolute bitch. And if you want my honest opinion, I think she’s a bit of a basket case too. She’s an ex-girlfriend of Jamie’s and has a major axe to grind with me. She’s under the impression I took him off her, when I did no such thing. Before we married she tried to split us up by making out she was having an affair with him. And now she’s shacked up with Jamie’s boss, who’s a very decent bloke. He doesn’t deserve the likes of Selina mucking his life up, and I’d be mortified if he found out his fiancée was messing around with my ex-husband. It’s embarrassing Stevie. Embarrassing for all of us. And what if the kids found out? Don’t you ever stop and wonder what they think of you constantly tom-catting around? And why the heck haven’t you been in touch with your employers to let them know where you are? I know you’re a reprobate Stevie, but I didn’t have you down as irresponsible where work was concerned. Anyway,’ I posted Eddie’s arms and legs into a romper suit, ‘could you please call me. Apart from anything else, I said I’d let Charlotte know you were okay. She was worried about you.’

  Without further ado I ended the call. Popping Eddie over my shoulder, I charged back downstairs, grabbed my coat off the banister and pocketed my keys.

  ‘Kids?’ I stopped and yelled back up the stairwell. ‘I’ll see you outside in the car.’ Going through to the kitchen, I plucked my holdall from the back of a chair. Edna had gone off to get dressed. I gave Jamie a fleeting kiss on the cheek. ‘You’re going to be late darling.’

  ‘Thankfully there’s no rush this morning.’ Jamie caught my hand and pulled me back to him. ‘So I’ll have a second kiss. Preferably not on my right eyeball.’

  I leant in and kissed my husband gently on the mouth. ‘Like that?’

  ‘Not bad. You can carry on tonight.’

  I gave a lop-sided smile. I felt so dog-tired, by this evening I’d probably be snoring for England. Hurrying out to the car, I strapped Eddie into his car seat. Whilst waiting for the children, I rang Nell. She answered on the seventh ring, and sounded harassed. Rosie was yelling lustily in the background.

  ‘Blimey,’ I gave a wry smile, ‘I thought World War Three only occurred in my house.’

  ‘I’m going bonkers here Cass. I need to get out of these four walls. Most babies have colic in the evening. But Rosie seems to start in the morning and go on until lunchtime. I can’t stay in listening to this, or I’ll go potty.’

  ‘I was going to suggest taking Rocket for a lovely long walk. What about we take the babies too? Some fresh air and a stroll in her pram might soothe Rosie.’

  ‘I’ll try anything. How cold is it outside?’

  ‘Not too bad. No rain, so that’s good. Wrap her up warm. She’ll be fine. I’ll see you after the school run. I’ll give Morag a ring and see if she wants to join us.’

  I ended the call and then rang Morag who seemed to be having her own difficulties with Henry.

  ‘I think he’s teething,’ she said. ‘He’s grumpy and grizzly. Not to mention producing more dribble than Rocket. Where shall I meet you?’

  ‘At Nell’s, in about half an hour.’ The kids finally made their appearance and hopped in the car. Doors slammed. ‘See you soon,’ I said to Morag before disconnecting. ‘What’s that funny smell?’ I sniffed the air.

  ‘Oh no,’ groaned Livvy, ‘I hope it’s not Eddie. He’ll make us late if his nappy needs changing.’

  ‘No. It’s not a stinky smell.’ I sniffed again. ‘It’s a smoky smell.’

  ‘I can’t smell anything,’ said Toby. ‘You’re imagining things Mum.’

  I gave a few more sniffs. ‘It’s gone now. Oh well. Right, are we ready? Everybody got everything? Good. Let’s go.’

  I reversed the car out of the drive, and pointed the bonnet towards Boxleigh Grammar.

  On the journey there was more talk of the delightful Diane Cooper. Every boy in the school apparently wanted to date her. I zoned out and cracked the window down a little bit. Fresh air trickled in and I gulped at it greedily. Why was I feeling so queasy? As I drew up outside Boxleigh Grammar, Eddie began to protest. He was clearly unimpressed at his siblings piling out of the car and going off to sc
hool without him. By the time I pulled up at Nell’s, he was screaming his head off. Morag’s car was already on the drive, but empty. She was obviously inside the house. I carried Eddie – avoiding contact with his wet face and twin snot trails – to Nell’s front door. It took several rings of the doorbell before Morag answered. Henry was on her hip and parodying Eddie. The sound of Rosie bawling her head off filtered along the hallway.

  ‘Flaming Nora,’ Morag rolled her eyes, ‘what the heck’s the matter with our kids this morning?’

  It was at times like this I was so glad we were all in it together. Our husbands were good fathers, but once they were at work they had respite from teething, colic, tantrums and temperatures. Morag stepped to one side and let me in.

  ‘Eddie’s having a paddy because his brothers and sisters have left him,’ I said. ‘I think he was enjoying listening to the boys’ chat-up techniques over some girl they both like. Perhaps Eddie was making mental notes for when he falls in love with Rosie,’ I grinned and shut the door behind me.

  ‘Eddie is welcome to Rosie,’ said Morag. ‘With lungs like that, she’s going to make an excellent fishwife one day.’

  ‘Still feeling broody?’ I quipped.

  ‘Yes,’ Morag assured.

  As we pushed open the kitchen door, Rosie’s howls assaulted our eardrums. Nell looked like she was at her wits’ end. And Rocket, in her basket, bore a look of long suffering.

  ‘Hello Cass,’ Nell shouted above the din. ‘Where shall we go?’

  ‘I think the park is the easiest option.’ I raised my own voice to answer.

  ‘Do you want a coffee first?’ Nell asked.

  My stomach still felt fragile. ‘No. Maybe later. Let’s take our brood out first. A bit of stimulation and fresh air, and hopefully they’ll be shattered by the time we get back. Then we can have a drink in peace.’

  ‘I’ll be hitting the gin at this rate,’ Nell threatened. ‘Pass me Rosie’s jacket Morag. It’s behind you. On top of the fridge.’

  ‘Naturally,’ said Morag handing her the tiny pink coat. ‘Where else would one put one’s baby’s clothes.’