Catching Lucas Riley

by Lauren Winder Farnsworth

  The moment the car was parked, Sealey was out the door and running down the riverside path away from them.

  “Um, see ya!” Alex called after him, surprised at the suddenness of his departure. He waved vaguely over his shoulder and kept going, shoving his earphones in his ears. He disappeared quickly around a bend.

  “Well, shall we go?” Lucas asked, holding out his hand to her. She smiled at him and took it.

  They walked in silence for several minutes, enjoying the pleasantly cool temperatures and the fiery colors surrounding them, although to Alex they looked a little tired. Pretty soon, the multi-colored leaves would abandon the trees and the snow would arrive in their wake—and boy, was Logan, Utah, enthusiastic about snow. Alex sighed, thinking of the miserably frigid temperatures that were only a few weeks away. Winter was her least favorite part of the year in Logan. In fact, she flat-out dreaded it. But this year, she had the opportunity to miss it altogether . . . if she took the symposium position.

  “What’s wrong?” Lucas asked, studying her face. “What’s with the heaving sigh?”

  “Oh, I’m just regretting the future,” Alex replied, smiling wanly at him.

  “Come again?” he asked, running his thumb over the back of her hand. “How can one regret the future? You have some kind of psychic powers you haven’t told me about yet?”

  Alex laughed. “No, no psychic powers. It usually doesn’t require much foresight to anticipate that with winter will come snow. And cold.”

  “Ahhh,” Lucas realized, nodding. “Mourning the absence of California winters, are we?”

  “Always.” Alex sighed again. “It’s Logan’s one major defect.”

  “Well, I hope we can eventually convert you to the awesomeness that is winter in Utah,” Lucas replied. “We need to get you on a snowboard, stat.”

  “Trust me, if the sport in question requires the presence of frozen water, it is not for me,” Alex claimed loftily. “I only appreciate water in its liquid state.”

  “You poor, unfortunate soul,” Lucas mourned. “You have no idea what you’re missing.”

  “And let’s keep it that way.” Alex laughed. “But speaking of the possibility of missing out on an encounter with a Logan winter . . .” Alex took a deep breath, feeling rather proud of herself for this smooth segue. “I’ve been given an opportunity to do so.”

  Lucas looked at her, his expression a mixture of confusion and apprehension. “What exactly do you mean by that?” he asked carefully.

  “You know that job I mentioned at your dad’s birthday party?” Alex asked, trying to keep her tone light and fluffy. The last thing she wanted was for him to get upset again. “Well, I found out yesterday that I got it!” She injected her voice with a healthy dose of enthusiasm. She prayed he would focus on that and realize how much this opportunity meant to her.

  “The traveling speaker series job?” Lucas clarified. “The one that will take you away for three months?”

  “Yes!” Alex said, attempting to hold on to her excitement but sounding almost manic instead.

  Lucas watched her closely, saying nothing. Each passing second stretched her nerves closer and closer to their breaking point. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted him to say. A huge part of her wanted to take this opportunity, but there was still that small piece that hoped he’d insist that she refuse. Their relationship was so new, could it survive something like a three-month absence? Especially a three-month absence with Olivia in the picture? She certainly hoped so, but at the same time, she somehow doubted it. But she also doubted that a career opportunity like this would come around again.

  And what if Lucas decided he couldn’t support her? From the look on his face, that was looking more and more likely. Would she really turn the opportunity down? She tried to imagine herself doing that. Had she ever really considered the possibility that Lucas would make her choose between the job and him? And if he did, how could she choose anything but him? Oh! She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore!

  “Well, uh . . .” Lucas rubbed a hand over the back of his head, his expression uncertain. “Congratulations, I guess.”

  “Thanks,” Alex replied, her tone just as uncomfortable as his. “It’s a really great opportunity for me.”

  “So you’re going then?” Lucas asked, his eyes boring holes into hers.

  “Well, that’s actually why I’m bringing it up,” Alex replied, shrugging. “I’d like to get your thoughts. I told Dr. Welch that I needed time to consider the position, and I wanted to talk to you about it before I decided.”

  Lucas’s shoulders relaxed and his face softened into a relieved smile. “So there’s a chance I can convince you not to go?”

  As soon as the words hit her eardrums, Alex realized that that was not the response she had been hoping for. She hadn’t even known what she really wanted until that very moment. She had subconsciously been envisioning Lucas exclaiming his happiness for her, immediately insisting that she go, and ensuring her that he would be waiting faithfully for her return. In hindsight, this dream was probably slightly unrealistic, but still, to have both of these amazing options pitted against each other felt like a cruelly unfair twist of fate.

  “You can try,” Alex replied, deflated. “But this has been a dream of mine for a really long time, Lucas. I kind of hoped you’d support me in it.”

  “But it’s three months,” Lucas pointed out. “Don’t you think it’s a little soon in our relationship to spend so much time apart?”

  “Maybe,” Alex conceded. “But do you really think we can’t work through it? And I wouldn’t even be gone for the full three months. I get some time off for Christmas, so I could spend a week or so back here in Logan.” The argument sounded feeble.

  “You know,” Lucas began, his tone hesitant. His hand clenched uncomfortably around Alex’s and his steps shuffled along as unwillingly as his words. “Olivia comes home the day after tomorrow.”

  Alex stiffened as her insecurity about Olivia reared its ugly head. She pulled her hand away from Lucas and glared up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean? Because it sounded an awful lot like a threat.”

  “It wasn’t a threat!” Lucas defended, raising his hands as though to ward off her sudden anger. “Just an observation. You probably don’t know this, but my parents are very set on the idea of me marrying Olivia and if you leave for three months, they will use that time as an opportunity to throw us together as much as possible. I’m just saying it like it is.”

  “You realize you’re all grown up now, right?” Alex snapped, her nerves finally cracking under the strain. This conversation was hard enough without Lucas throwing Olivia in her face. “You realize that Mommy and Daddy can’t make you do anything you don’t actually want to do?”

  Lucas narrowed his eyes at her. “Don’t talk to me like I’m four years old, Alex. I’m just saying that being apart for three months so early in our relationship will be hard enough without an old girlfriend thrown into the mix. Please understand, I have no intention of getting back together with Olivia, but it would be a lot easier to make that case to my parents if I had you beside me while I did it.”

  Alex took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself and feeling stupid about her outburst. “You’re right,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me to see an opportunity like this slip away. I’d like to make sure that it’s unavoidable before I give up my dream like that.”

  “I can understand that,” Lucas replied, reaching out to pull her to him. His arms slid around her, holding her firmly against him, her head on his shoulder. “And I don’t want you to have to give up on a dream either. Really, I—” His voice cut out and Alex felt his chest expand as though he were taking a deep, unsteady breath.

  “Alex,” he tried again, taking her by the shoulders and pushing her back so he could look into her eyes. He looked suddenly very nervous. “I want you to have everything you want. Everything. But the more I get to know you, the more I think that wh
atever it is that you want, you should have it with me. I—I love you.” He looked at her, his eyes wide with terror at what he had just revealed.

  Alex stared back at him. “You do?” she gasped. “Al-already?” Sealey was better than she thought. There’s no way she’d have been able to accomplish such a feat on her own in barely three months.

  “I was going to tell you once we’d gotten to the picnic area, but I felt like the revelation was needed, given our current topic of conversation.” Lucas eyed her pointedly. “Now do you maybe understand why I’m so hesitant to see you leave? I really don’t want to be separated from you for so long.”

  Alex was in absolute turmoil inside. Lucas was in love with her! The thought made her feel like she could never possibly be depressed again. But a part of her, the part with the lofty career aspirations, didn’t seem to be listening to that logic. She was furious with herself. Why couldn’t she just be happy? This was a miracle! She’d wanted this man for so long and now he was standing here, telling her that he was hers, and she was going to mope about missing out on a job opportunity?

  No. Lucas deserved better than that. She could mope later.

  She pulled Lucas’s head down to hers softly. “I love you too,” she said, feeling warmth permeate her as she spoke the words. She pressed her lips to his and felt him respond enthusiastically. He pulled her tightly against him, his hands pressing into her back. As his warmth combined with hers, Alex felt all the regret vanish.

  “WHY ARE YOU two so . . . giddy?” Sealey asked as they drove back to Logan from the canyon. “Foamer, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giggle before.”

  “I am not giggling,” Alex defended, affronted. She’d never been a giggler, thank heavens.

  “You are,” Sealey emphasized, a deadly serious look on his face. “What happened?”

  “Seriously, man?” Lucas asked, eyeing him in the rearview mirror. “You’re really going to ask what happened on our ridiculously romantic picnic? That you have already openly mocked?”

  “Point taken,” Sealey muttered, looking out the window. “Just wanted to share in the merriment, but I guess I’ll just, you know, pass.”

  “Wise move,” Lucas replied, smiling.

  Alex glanced back at Sealey, noticing the glum look on his face. She wondered if maybe he just seemed down in comparison to her incandescent happiness. But no, he’d been moody on the way to the canyon.

  “What’s your deal?” she asked him. She reached back to nudge his knee with her fingertips. “You’ve been awfully grumpy lately.”

  Sealey glanced at her but said nothing. His eyes stared somewhat vacantly out the window, his hands limp in his lap. She studied his expressionless face for a second longer and then turned back to the front, eyebrows furrowed.

  “Don’t mind him,” Lucas replied, still smiling. “He’s just in a crappy mood today.”

  Alex wasn’t sure about that, though. What reason did Sealey have to be in a bad mood? With Olivia due home in a couple of days and with Lucas and Alex so happily connected, what did he have to complain about? And for crying out loud, he’d just been running down a colored canyon in cool, sunny weather! What more could you do to improve your general outlook on life? No, something was bothering him. Something big. The thought made Alex nervous.

  “I’m freaking out. I’m really freaking out,” Alex muttered as she paced back and forth across the apartment living room. Jaclyn watched her with a raised eyebrow.

  “Didn’t Lucas just tell you that he loved you?” she prodded. “Like, two days ago?”

  “Yeah, so?” Alex replied, now wringing her hands as she paced.

  “And have you looked up the definition of the word love in the dictionary lately?” Jaclyn asked. “It’s kind of a big deal.”

  “I know it is,” Alex admitted. “But so is seeing your ex-girlfriend after a year and a half separation.”

  “I don’t understand why he went to the airport,” Sage said in a garbled voice from the kitchen, an ice cream spoon protruding from her mouth. “Seems kind of insensitive to me.”

  “I bet his parents are making him,” Meredith chimed in. “They’ve made it very clear that they want Lucas to end up with Olivia. I’ll bet they told him he had to come.”

  “What is he, three years old?” Jaclyn scoffed. “He’s a grown man. If he didn’t want to go, he would’ve just said no. I think he wants to be there.”

  “This conversation is so helpful,” Alex said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. In all honesty, she was as nervous to hear from Sealey as she was to hear from Lucas. They had gone to the airport together four hours earlier to meet Olivia’s plane, and she hadn’t received so much as a text from either.

  Alex was squarely in Sage’s camp. She didn’t think a trip to the airport was necessary to greet Olivia, but naturally, she hadn’t told Lucas that. And really, wasn’t four hours plenty of time to greet an old girlfriend and get back to your current one?

  “I just wish I knew what was taking so long,” Alex growled.

  “Well, like you said, they haven’t seen each other for a year and a half,” Jaclyn pointed out. “They probably have a lot to catch up on.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Alex whined. “All right. That’s it, I’m checking my phone again.” She stomped toward her bedroom where she had banished her phone after one too many digs from her roommates. Maybe she had placed it on silent and forgotten. Maybe she had received twelve texts from Lucas and Sealey and she just couldn’t hear the notifications from the living room. Never mind that she never put her phone on silent. Ever.

  She heard her roommates discussing the topic as she waded through her messy room to the bed where she had chucked her phone. No messages. No calls. Alex sighed and collapsed onto her mattress. In the living room, she heard the front door to the apartment slam. Kacey must be home from her new job at Angie’s. Like any self-respecting theater major, Kacey now worked in the food industry to try to make ends meet as she attempted to get some semblance of an acting career off the ground. Alex didn’t have the heart to tell her that a successful acting career was not likely to begin in Logan, Utah.

  Alex heard Kacey’s voice in the living room and suddenly the entire apartment seemed to be encompassed within a cone of silence. No sound. Anywhere. Curious about what Kacey must have said to elicit such stillness from her roommates, Alex rose to her feet and headed for the living room. It wasn’t like she had reason to hang out with her phone anyway.

  As she entered the living room, every eye fixed on her, making her stop. “What?” she asked.

  “Oh man,” said Jaclyn.

  “Nothing!” said Sage.

  “Well . . . ,” said Meredith.

  Every face had the same look of mixed panic and pity on it.

  “What is going on?” Alex demanded. Her eyes flitted from face to face, and she felt a strange feeling of dread overwhelm her.

  “Maybe you should take a seat,” Kacey said, her voice much softer than usual. Alex didn’t argue, but immediately made for the couch. Once she was seated, she turned back to Kacey.

  “Okay, I’m seated. Now, spill. What do you know?”

  “Well, I just came from Angie’s,” Kacey explained needlessly. “And right before I left, a couple came in.”

  Alex didn’t even need her to finish. “Lucas and a girl radiating the glow of recent missionary work, I presume?”

  “Lucas and Olivia,” Kacey affirmed. “I actually went up and introduced myself, just so I could give you accurate information.” She nodded dutifully.

  “So . . . is she . . . pretty?” Sage asked while Alex processed. Lucas was out, on a date it sounded like, with Olivia. Already.

  “Unfortunately, she’s very prett—” Kacey was saying until Alex cut her off.

  “Wait a second, how could they possibly be out on a date already?” Alex fumed. “Isn’t she still a missionary? Doesn’t she have to be released first?”

  “According to Lucas, her parents set
it up with her stake president so she could be released immediately. She went straight from the airport to the stake president’s office and I’m guessing from there, Lucas’s parents nudged them out to dinner together.”

  Alex sat dumbly on the couch, staring at her hands. “And she’s pretty?” she repeated Sage’s question, almost wincing up at Kacey.

  “Yeah,” Kacey confirmed but didn’t elaborate. Alex could hear a note of compassion in her voice.

  Without another word, Alex rose to her feet and went back to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She sat on her bed and played idly with her phone. Olivia had only been home for four hours and already she was coming between Lucas and Alex. Unable to bear not knowing any longer, Alex sent a text to Sealey.

  So . . . how was it? she texted. She saw him begin to reply almost immediately.

  Fine. Olivia looks great. It was good to see her again.

  Are you still with her? Alex pressed, hoping that his response would clear up how Lucas had ended up at a restaurant alone with the newly returned missionary.

  No, Luke and Olivia took off together almost immediately after she was released, he texted back. I think his parents suggested that he take her out to dinner.

  Oh, Alex texted back. She took a second to gather her dignity and then sent a second text. Are you as worried as I am?

  He never replied.

  Alex didn’t hear from Lucas until nearly two days later. In that time, she managed to talk herself into an almost manic depressive state, sure that, when he did finally speak to her again, it would be to tell her that he wasn’t sure if he could live without Olivia. The thought of competing against not just the memory of Olivia, but the physical embodiment herself was almost too much for Alex. She had spent so much time scheming and planning and worrying to get Lucas to notice her. She felt like she’d filled her quota of competition already, before Olivia even returned home.