Last of the Giants

by Mick Wall

  D: I don’t, uh … naw.

  S: We already got good new ones!

  D [whispering]: I can’t talk about this. I got lawsuits and shit …

  S: Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, never mind. Yeah. No. I have a new girlfriend. He’s … he doesn’t really have a new girlfriend, because he’s still married …

  D: No, I’m not! I just can’t talk about it … Mick, let’s talk about you for a second.

  S: That’s a cool shirt.

  D: What’s going on with you, back home? Do you have a girlfriend back there?

  S [nudging him]: She’s here! Her name’s …

  D: That’s right! Oh, she’s beautiful! You did good! You guys over in England, Mick is fucking happening. He’s got a fucking happening girlfriend …

  M [fumbling]: That’s very nice of you to say so, but getting back to the interview …

  D: Me and Slash both have Corvettes now. Can you believe that shit?

  M: … the question everybody wants answered is, what have you been doing this year, why hasn’t your album come out, and when will it come out?

  S [shaking his head]: We’ve been adjusting …

  D: But we have thirty-five songs!

  S: We have thirty-five new songs. But we’ve had to … Let me put it this way …

  D: Put it some fucking way, please. I tried to earlier.

  S: The first fucking time we … Can I say that?

  D: Yeah, do.

  S: …The first fucking time we came to England, we like, we were just like … like … just … here’s the plane ticket, everybody go, and we’re all wuh-ooh-uh! And we get drunk and fucked up and sick in the street and stuff. Things changed … [Both start talking at once.]

  D: We just sat in the street across from the Marquee and just drank. We didn’t know. We thought we’d just be, like, some opening band and stuff, and we got there and the place was sold out!

  S: We thought it was the greatest thing ever. Now we have homes …

  D: But fuck that, England was like our homecoming ground …

  S: No, no, no, but the changing thing, that’s what’s important. D: That’s what’s been happening this year, yeah. But the transformation from England to, like, now is …

  S: But we haven’t changed.

  D: No, we haven’t changed.

  M: Well, you’re still drunk, anyway.

  S: It’s the day after New Year’s. YOU’RE drunk, too!

  D [laughing]: Mick, are you going to be able to use this interview?

  M: I’m gonna give it a shot.

  S: We’re not built for rock star shit.

  D: We aren’t! We aren’t! [Goes into long incoherent rant about a fight he got into at a club on New Year’s Eve] … and the guy was bigger than I was, but I just went CAH-BOOOM! And … his eyes crossed, like you see in the cartoons, like that? And he went down. And then everybody dragged him back and dragged me back, but they were dragging him past me and I fucking biffed him three more times in the head! They said I broke his jaw …

  S: Nasty [Suicide – former Hanoi Rocks guitarist] stuck his arm in through the crowd and got one in there, too!

  D: So we go through this shit all the time, people trying to fuck with us. I was telling you earlier, if anybody fucks with my home-boy here, Slash – and it’s happened before, like if a big guy was gonna hit him – I’ve stepped right in front of him.

  S: Sure, and I can hide in the crook of his knee …

  D: I beat up a guy for him once. And he’d do that for me.

  S: But not to sound stupid, because we’re starting to sound stupid …

  D: Because we’re drunk! We’re drunk! Of course we’re gonna sound stupid.

  S: No, but we’re a fucking band …

  D: Yeah … that’s what it comes down to.

  M: All right, let’s play some more music. What this time? It doesn’t have to be Guns N’ Roses …

  [Both simultaneously.]

  D: ‘SCARRED FOR LIFE’! ROSE TATTOO!

  S: ‘Scarred for Life’. Rose Tattoo … [Duff goes into invisible guitar routine, singing at the top of his voice. We come back from the record.]

  D: Oh, I fucked up …

  S: We are intelligent, though.

  D: We’re not right now, though. Mick, you got me drunk!

  S: We just like to have fun. Go out there and jam. It’s like this, to put it bluntly, we go out there and we play, and we’re very conscientious about our music, and we’re sick of fucking talking about it.

  D: Yeah, that’s a good point.

  S: It’s true.

  D: That’s a good point.

  S: It’s like, it’s old …

  D: We don’t mind talking to you because you know what it’s all about. But most people go, ‘So what’s it like being – a – ROCK – STAR?’ Like, what? What is a rock star?

  S: It’s a hard stone that shines. Ha ha ha!

  M [deciding enough is enough]: So let’s clear it up for everybody …

  S: In England? We love you guys.

  D: We really do love you guys.

  S: We fucking kicked ass in London, that first time.

  D: I love the Marquee. I love London.

  S: We did suck in a couple of places, though …

  D: When we go back we’re gonna do the Marquee …

  S: No, man, it’s gone.

  D: Oh yeah, it’s that new place.

  S: I think we’re gonna do Wembley.

  D: No, let’s do that biker club! Let’s do that biker club! I don’t wanna do Donington again.

  S: Not Donington, Wembley … [Much discussion ensues over the pros and cons of Wembley Stadium versus Donington Park, with everybody talking at once.]

  S: Do two bands, that’s cool. Five bands on the bill, all day long … it’s just …

  D: No way. No Donington.

  M: Well, wherever it is, I know you’re both looking forward to playing live again as much as your fans are.

  S [pulling face]: Man, we have to get out. When we get this record done, we’ll go.

  D: Hear this? Hear this? Hear this? [Duff grabs the sides of the table and bangs his head with an audible thump against it.]

  S [disdainfully]: What was that?

  D: Oh, you do it, too? Okay, together … one, two, three, four! [Both lean over and, as one, head-butt the table together, making an even more audible THUMP on the tape.]

  M [desperately trying to wrap it up now]: You heard it live and exclusive on Capital Radio … I’d like to thank Duff and Slash for joining me this evening … [Much braying of laughter in the background.]

  S: Anybody who stayed tuned, thank you for listening … Ha ha ha!

  D: Yeah! I thank you! Because, uh … hah …

  M: What are we going out on? [Long pause.]

  S: ‘We are the Road Crew’ by Motörhead?

  D: YES! [Singing] We are the ROAD CREW … da-nah-nah-nah-nah-naaaawww …

  S [above the noise]: We had a band called Road Crew once. ‘Rocket Queen’ came from that track …

  D: Right! Lemmy, hi! From Duff and Slash! And the rest of you boys, ‘Philthy’ and all you guys …

  S: Hello!

  D: Lemmy, you rock!

  [We say our ‘radio’ goodbyes …]

  D: SEE YA! We’ll see ya soon!

  S: Mick, thank you for holding the mic for so long. I couldn’t even hold my dick that long …

  D: I’ve seen you do it! Remember, when we were on the road, and I pretended I was, like, asleep and you talked to your girlfriend on the fucking phone and you’d have your little rag and you’d go, ‘Get the Coke bottle, baby.’ I was pretending to go to sleep and he’s there beating off, and shit.

  M: And on that happy note …

  D: … I’d be trying to get to sleep and he’d be like, ‘Oh, baby. I’m saving a load of come in my rag for you …’

  TAPE ENDS ABRUPTLY.

  It was a very different mood, of course, when I went to Axl’s place to interview him just
a few nights later. He didn’t even say hello when he answered the door, just went straight into it. Trying to move the conversation on from his invitation to Vince Neil for a dual, I asked Axl about his run-in with David Bowie before the Stones shows. I’d been told the two of them were now the best of buddies, was that right?

  ‘Well, I don’t know about “best buddies”. But I like him a lot, yeah. We had a long talk about the business and stuff and I never met anybody so cool and so into it and so whacked out and so sick in my life. I remember looking over at Slash and going, “Man, we’re in fucking deep trouble”, and he goes, “Why?” I go, “Because I got a lot in common with this guy. I mean, I’m pretty sick but this guy’s just fucking ill!” And Bowie’s sitting there laughing and talking about “One side of me is experimental and the other side of me wants to make something that people can get into, and I don’t know fucking why! Why am I like this?” And I’m sitting there thinking, I’ve got twenty more years of … that to look forward to? I’m already like that … twenty more years? What am I gonna do?’

  He laughed. Suddenly we were getting on fine again. I decided to ask about some of the more serious, close-to-home rifts he’d recently become part of. Primarily, the speech he’d given onstage about Slash and Steve dancing with Mr Brownstone. The bit where he’d announced he was leaving the band. Was that also his job now, to be the guy in the band who lays down the law – the dictator of the band?

  ‘Depends who you ask and on which day. We got into fights in Chicago, when we went there last year to escape LA and try and get some writing done. Everybody’s schedules were weird and we were all showing up at different times. But when I would show up I was like, “Okay, let’s do this, let’s do that, let’s do this one of yours, Slash. Okay, now let’s hear that one Duff’s got …” And that’s when everybody would decide I was a dictator. Suddenly I’m a total dictator, a completely selfish dick, you know? But fuck, man, as far as I was concerned we were on a roll. Slash is complaining we’re getting nothing done and I’m like, “What do you mean? We just put down six new parts for songs!” We’ve got all this stuff done in, like, a couple of weeks. So suddenly, like, everything’s a bummer and it’s all my fault.

  ‘And he was like, “Yeah, but I’ve been sitting here a month on my ass waiting for you to show up.” I’d driven cross-country in my truck to Chicago from LA and it had taken me weeks. So suddenly, like, everything’s a bummer and it’s all my fault. But after working with Jagger it was like, ‘Don’t anybody ever call me a dictator again. You go work for the Stones and you’ll find out the hard way what working for a real dictator is like!”’

  Had he had a chance to ‘hang’ with Jagger or any of the Rolling Stones when the band had supported them?

  ‘Not really. Not Jagger, anyway. That guy walks offstage and goes and does paperwork. He checks everything. That guy is involved in every little aspect of the show, from what the backing singers are getting paid to what a particular part of the PA costs to buy or hire. He is on top of all of it. Him and his lawyer and a couple of guys that he hangs with. But, basically, it’s all him. And this is where I sympathise. I mean, I don’t sit around checking the gate receipts at the end of every show, but sometimes the frontman … I don’t know. You don’t plan on that job when you join the band. You don’t want that job. You don’t wanna be that guy to the guys in your band that you hang with and you look up to. But somebody’s got to do it. And the guitar player can’t do it because he is not the guy who has to be communicating directly with the audience with eye contact and body movements. He can go back, hang his hair down in his face and stand by the amps and just get into his guitar part …’

  He talked about how the shows at the Coliseum taught him how to perform on a stadium stage.

  ‘You have to learn how, but it can be done. You know, like someone goes, “You’re gonna have this huge arena tour next year, dude!” And I go, “I know, but that’s the problem. I can work a stadium now.” And I can. And if I can work it, then that’s what I wanna do. It’s just bigger and more fun.’

  I asked Axl what he could tell me about how the next Guns N’ Roses album was shaping up.

  ‘It’s coming together just great,’ he enthused. ‘I’ve written all these ballads and Slash has written all these really heavy crunch rockers. It makes for a real interesting kinda confusion …’

  Writing for this next album was a universe away, though, from the way the material for the first album came about, he explained. ‘One reason things have been so hard in a way is this. The first album was basically written with Axl coming up with maybe one line and maybe a melody for that line, or how I’m gonna say it or yell it or whatever. And the band would build a song around it. This time around, Izzy’s brought in eight songs, at least, okay? Slash has brought in an album. And Duff’s brought in a song. Duff’s said it all in one song. It’s called “Why Do You Look at Me When You Hate Me” and it’s just bad-assed! But none of this ever happened before. I mean, before the first album I think Izzy had written one song in his entire life, you know? But they’re coming now. And Izzy has this, like, very wry sense of humour, man. He’s got this song about …’ He half sang the lyrics: ‘ … “She lost her mind today / Got splattered out on the highway / I say that’s okay …”’ He laughed. ‘It’s called “Dust and Bones”, I think, and it’s great. The rhythm reminds me of something like “Cherokee People” by Paul Revere and the Raiders, only really weird and rocked out. It’s a weird song. But then it is by Izzy, what can I tell you?’

  He obviously enjoyed working in the recording studio, I remarked. More than playing a show?

  ‘Yeah, I do. I prefer recording to doing a live gig, unless I’m psyched for the gig. Before the gig I always don’t wanna do the fucking show, and nine times out of ten I hate it. If I’m psyched it’s like, let’s go! But most of the time I’m mad about something, or something’s going fucking wrong … I don’t enjoy most of it at all.’

  Wasn’t that partly his own fault, though? Some people had accused him of having a very belligerent attitude.

  ‘I don’t know exactly … Something always fucking happens before a show. Something always happens and I react like a motherfucker to it. I don’t like to have this pot-smoking mentality of just letting things go by. I feel like Lenny Kravitz: like, peace and love, man, for sure, or you’re gonna fucking die! I’m gonna kick your ass if you mess with my garden, you know? That’s always been my attitude.’

  Had that attitude hardened, though, with the onset of fame?

  ‘Meaning what exactly?’

  Did he behave that way because his fame and notoriety almost forced him to? Now he did look at me.

  ‘I’ve always been that way, but now I’m in a position to just be myself more. And the thing is, people do allow me to do it, whether they like it or not. It’s weird.’

  Did he ever take unfair advantage of that, though? Long pause.

  ‘… No. No, usually I’m just an emotionally unbalanced person,’ he said, smiling. ‘No, really. I’m usually an emotional wreck before a show because of something else that’s going on in my life. I mean, as I say, something weird just always happens to me two seconds before I’m supposed to go onstage, you know? Like I found William Rose … Turns out, he was murdered in ’84 and buried somewhere in Illinois, and I found that out, like, two days before a show and I was fucking whacked! I mean, I’ve been trying to uncover this mystery since I was a little kid. I didn’t even know he existed until I was a teenager, you know? Cos I was told it was the Devil that made me know what the inside of a house looked like that I’d supposedly never lived in. So I’ve been trying to track down this William Rose guy. Not like, I love this guy, he’s my father. I just wanna know something about my heritage – weird shit like am I going to have an elbow that bugs the shit out of me when I get to forty cos of some hereditary trait? Weird shit ordinary families take for granted.’

  His real father was murdered?

  ‘Yeah, he was kill
ed. It was probably, like, at close range, too, man. Wonderful family …’

  I asked about the intense criticism he’d received personally over ‘One in a Million’. Did he feel that his harshest critics simply missed a lot of the humour in his songs?

  ‘To appreciate the humour in our work you gotta be able to relate to a lot of different things. And not everybody does. Not everybody can. With “One in a Million” I used a word [‘nigger’]. It’s part of the English language whether it’s a good word or not. It’s a derogatory word, it’s a negative word. It’s not meant to sum up the entire black race, but it was directed towards black people in those situations. I was robbed, I was ripped off, I had my life threatened. And it’s like, I described it in one word. And not only that, but I wanted to see the effect of a racial joke. I wanted to see what effect that would have on the world. Slash was into it … I mean, the song says: “Don’t wanna buy none of your gold chains today”. Now a black person on the Oprah Winfrey show who goes, “Oh, they’re putting down black people” is going to fucking take one of these guys at the bus stop home and feed him and take care of him and let him babysit the kids? They ain’t gonna be near the guy!

  ‘I don’t think every black person is a nigger. I don’t care. I consider myself kinda green and from another planet or something, you know? I’ve never felt I fit into any group, so to speak. A black person has this 300 years of whatever on his shoulders. Okay. But I ain’t got nothing to do with that. It bores me, too. There’s such a thing as too sensitive. You can watch a movie about someone blowing the crap outta all these people, but you could be the most anti-violent person in the world. But you get off on this movie like, yeah! He deserved it, the bad guy got shot …

  ‘Something I’ve noticed that’s really weird about “One in a Million” is the whole song coming together took me by surprise. I wrote the song as a joke. West [Arkeen] just got robbed by two black guys on Christmas night, a few years back. He went out to play guitar on Hollywood Boulevard and he’s standing there playing in front of the band and he gets robbed at knifepoint for seventy-eight cents. Couple of days later we’re all sitting around watching TV – there’s Duff and West and a couple other guys – and we’re all bummed out, hungover and this and that. And I’m sitting’ there with no money, no job, feeling guilty for being at West’s house all the time sucking up the oxygen, you know? And I picked up this guitar, and I can only play, like, the top two strings, and I ended up fucking around with this little riff. It was the only thing I could play on the guitar at the time. And then I started ad-libbing some words to it as a joke. And we had just watched Sam Kinison or something on the video, you know, and I guess the humour was just sort of leaning that way or something. I don’t know. But we just started writing this thing, and when I sang “Police and niggers / That’s right …” that was to fuck with West’s head, cos he couldn’t believe I would write that. And it came out like that.