Amber

by Julie Sykes

  Dan’s head was like a metronome. ‘A-a-are you doing that?’ he stuttered.

  ‘Yeah.’

  I couldn’t keep it up for much longer, but one glance at Johnny told me he couldn’t either. His eyes were bulging and a muscle in his neck twitched repeatedly. One of us was about to break and it wasn’t going to be me. I kept my mind firmly on the gun as I reached inside myself, deeper than I’d ever dared to go before. The energy flowed from my mind, hot as molten lava. It honed in on the gun and allowed me to prise it free from Johnny’s rigid grip. He snatched for the gun as it floated away, but my reactions were faster. I spun it higher, guided it through the open car window – then let it go.

  There was a tremendous bang. I was thrown forward and back again. The seat belt cut across my chest and I felt a new bruise spread across the old one. A second bang followed and the impact was even worse.

  ‘They’re ramming us,’ said Dan, grimly.

  Robert kept decelerating and then quickly accelerating so that his car bashed into the back of Dan’s. I turned round and clutched hold of the back of the seat as he hit us again. My neck snapped and I squeaked with the pain. I undid the seat belt and hung out of the passenger’s window. Where was the gun? My eyes searched the drive until I found it. Dan was driving fast and the gun would soon be out of my mental reach. Once again, I called on my aching mind to seize hold of it. To my surprise, my mind projected back an image of bruised and swollen tissue. My head hurt so badly that I could hardly bear it. But I had to get hold of that gun. I ignored the pictures and insisted that my mind grasped the gun. The pain was unbearable. I blinked back tears. I would not let go. I wouldn’t! With gritted teeth, I lifted the gun higher and aimed it at Robert’s car.

  Dan threw me a nervous look. ‘Amber,’ he breathed, so softly I almost didn’t hear him. His knuckles were long past white and the veins in his arms taut like cheese wire.

  ‘Trust me.’ I took aim. As I went to pull the trigger we were rammed again. I lost my grip and the gun cart-wheeled towards the bushes. My mind reached out, frantic to get it back. I’d never caught an object moving at speed and I wasn’t prepared for the crashing sensation in my head. I caught the gun just seconds before it disappeared under the bush. It was a miracle I was able to hang on but I somehow did. I couldn’t see properly to fire. I clasped the gun firmly in a mind grip then wound down the window and leaned out. The blast of air took my breath away. My hair whipped across my face half blinding, half suffocating me. I shoved it back, tucking as much of it as I could down the neck of my T-shirt. There was another crash as Robert rammed us again. This time I’d anticipated the blow. I gripped hold of the door and let my hands take some of the impact. I still couldn’t see clearly enough to shoot. I started to ease my upper body out of the window and had to fight against the rush of air that met me. Dan shouted something, but the wind was buzzing in my ears and I couldn’t make it out. Trees passed, too close for comfort. A branch came towards me, at garrotting height, and I only just ducked in time.

  ‘Amber, get back in the car. Now!’ blasted Dan.

  No way. Not when I could see my target. I held the gun steady then used a different part of my mind to squeeze the trigger. There was an almighty bang. Robert’s car slewed violently. I saw his hands tighten on the wheel as he fought to correct the steering. I aimed again and claimed his three remaining tyres. Sparks flew like Catherine wheels as Robert continued to drive on the wheel rims. A short while later the car slowed then shuddered to a stop. I was shaking badly and wanted to be rid of the gun for good. I hurled it at the uppermost branches of a very tall tree and gave it a hard shove with my mind to help it along. It stuck in the top branch and I smiled in relief. I was confident that Robert and Johnny wouldn’t be able to climb that high to get it back. Relieved that for now the fight was over, I pulled myself back into the car. My muscles ached and I had a colossal headache. We were almost at the end of the drive, not that Dan showed any sign of slowing down. He pulled straight out onto the main road and almost took out the rear end of a passing car, as he slotted behind it. My head hurt too badly to care. I stared vacantly ahead and let my ragged mind go blank.

  We drove for several kilometres until, entering a forest of tall pine trees, Dan pulled off the road and into a car park. He drove past the cars lined up by the entrance and parked in the corner. As he cut the engine a loud silence filled the void. Apart from cars, the car park was empty. Even the birds in the trees had flown away when Dan screeched into the parking space. The silence grew and its loudness hurt my ears.

  ‘Well?’ he said finally. He didn’t look at me but stared out of the window and into the thick, green forest. ‘Want to explain what’s going on?’

  His voice, and the dull look in his eyes, made my chest tighten. He was hurt and it was my fault. My throat constricted, so that when I spoke my voice wasn’t the one I’d grown accustomed to.

  ‘I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you about me but…’

  But what? I hadn’t trusted him with my secrets even though he’d shared his with me? I breathed deeply then started again. ‘I wanted to tell you about me for ages, but it’s complicated…’

  Once I got going it was much easier than I’d imagined. I told Dan everything. I confessed to all the fears and doubts that had gnawed away at me since I discovered how different I was from anyone else. Dan listened in silence. Occasionally he’d nod, or a knowing look would flash across his face. I felt like I was handing him chunks of an enormous puzzle that he’d been working on for ages.

  ‘So that’s it,’ I finished. ‘I have to get to Balochry and see Nardo. Then I’ll know who Amara is.’

  ‘I’ll take you,’ said Dan. Just like that. No questions, no recriminations. I’d lied, almost smashed up his car and nearly got him killed. Yet he still wanted to help me.

  ‘What about my telekinetic powers, don’t they freak you out?’

  ‘Yes, at first. When I saw your purse and mobile fly through the air, it was beyond creepy. I didn’t know what to think. It was like you’d turned into a mad spirit, or something. I nearly turned tail and ran. Then I reasoned that you’d had plenty of time to do me harm if you wanted to. And the bald guy, Johnny, deserved what he was getting. Kidnap and theft! The gun thing was the worst part, though. I thought you were going to kill him when you took control of it. I was with my grandad when he died. It was a peaceful death and that was bad enough.’ Dan gave a shaky laugh. ‘Aiding and abetting homicide, how would that look on my UCAS form?’ He looked into my eyes. ‘I’m glad you didn’t kill anyone. And now I’m over the shock, I like the telekinesis. It’s cool.’

  ‘I’d never kill anyone.’ It came from the bottom of my heart.

  Dan squeezed my hand. ‘I believe you, given your unnatural affection for Scottish enemy number one, the mosquito.’

  We shared a smile.

  ‘What if I drag you into something illegal? I don’t want to ruin your chances of getting into university.’

  ‘Amber,’ said Dan, looking straight at me, ‘you’re too nice to be involved in anything illegal.’

  ‘Amber might be, but what about Amara?’

  ‘Then don’t be Amara. Stick with your new life.’

  If only it was that easy. ‘Being Amber hasn’t stopped me from being different.’

  ‘Have you ever thought that you’re different for a reason? Maybe you don’t come from here?’ Dan trailed off.

  I nodded because subconsciously I had already worked that out. Dan spoke with a soft, Scottish burr. My accent was more lyrical. My mobile phone wasn’t in English either. Come to think of it neither were Tor and Nardo’s texts. How stupid of me! I’d been too worked up to rationalise that this was a massive clue to my real identity. ‘I’m a foreigner, aren’t I? Do you think that I might come from Europe or something?’

  Dan reached out and held both of my hands in his. ‘Or something,’ he whispered h
oarsely.

  We were so close that his breath tickled my cheeks. I wondered how it would feel if he wrapped his arms around me. I wanted it so badly, it made my head spin. Dan watched me and waited for a cue to come closer. Heat crept up my cheeks. My lips tingled. I started to lean forward, but the movement set alarm bells clamouring in my head. This was all wrong. There were too many questions needing an answer before we took our relationship to the next stage. With great reluctance I pulled my hands free and reached for my mobile phone. I had to swallow hard before I could speak. ‘What language is this? Do you recognise it?’

  A flash of disappointment, or was it irritation, flickered in Dan’s eyes. He blinked and then stared at the screen. ‘Italian perhaps, or another European country. Do you understand it?’

  I nodded.

  ‘You don’t have a strong accent. When I first heard you speak I thought you might originally have come from Eastern Europe, but that you’d lived in the UK for a long time.’

  ‘What if I’m a spy? Are you sure you want to take me to Balochry? I might get you into all sorts of trouble.’

  Dan laughed. ‘And you haven’t already! Why do you think you’re a spy? That’s mad. Right now, I’m here to help out a friend. Where’s the harm in that?’

  Dan knew the risks he was taking, but he still wanted to help me. The knowledge made my heart race much faster than was natural. ‘You’re totally sure about this?’

  ‘Absolutely. No more lies, though. From now on you have to tell the truth. Promise?’

  ‘I promise.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Our eyes met but neither of us spoke. Trust didn’t need words.

  ‘Something tells me that this Robert and Johnny aren’t going to give up on you that easily. We’d better get going before they come after us. I bet they’ve got another car between them and more guns.’ Dan unfastened his seat belt. ‘I’ll just check my car before we leave.’ He opened the door and climbed out. I followed and we spent several precious minutes looking over the bodywork.

  Fortunately, the damage wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. The bumper was dented, and there were scratches to the paintwork, but Dan didn’t see any of it as a problem. ‘My friend’s dad repairs cars. He’ll fix it for me.’

  ‘I’ll text Nardo and warn him I’m going to be late,’ I said.

  Dan checked his watch. ‘Tell him you’ll be there for 2 p.m.’

  As we pulled onto the main road Nardo texted back to say he’d meet me at 4 p.m. and it would be better if I slept over. I wasn’t keen on that idea, neither was Dan, but without knowing who Nardo was, I couldn’t think of a good enough reason to refuse him.

  ‘I’ll tell Mum that Claudia’s parents invited you to stay the night at their hotel. If the reunion doesn’t go well, call me and I’ll come and pick you up,’ Dan said.

  There was plenty of time to get to Balochry now but, for my safety, Dan wanted to get me somewhere populated, and quickly. He drove fast, his little car eating up the distance. It should have been fun, having Dan all to myself, but I was too nervous to enjoy it. I was sure that the green saloon, quite a distance behind, was tailing us. I sat with my head swivelled so that I could watch it out of the rear window. It was ages before the car went a different way and I was able to relax. After a bit I saw a smoky blue line etched on the horizon. As we drove towards it, the line became more distinctive until I could see that it was a range of mountains.

  ‘The Highlands,’ said Dan, nodding at them.

  We entered a forest and its dark green canopy blotted out the view. Once we were out the other side, the road began to loop. Each twist brought another surprise in the scenery. Once, there was a stream: it was crystal clear and the water gurgled with laughter as it raced along beside the car. Another time, as the road curved, we came upon a huge loch, cupped in the hollow of a hill. The blue water shimmered like a jewel in a gigantic hand. It was so beautiful that Dan, who’d been singing along to the radio, stopped mid-song to savour the view. Much further along we drove across a wooden bridge that was covered with an archway of trees. Beams of sunlight shone down on the timber slats. They dappled the road with shadow and light and for a fleeting moment, I was somewhere else – somewhere that I couldn’t quite remember. Then we were over the bridge, back in full sunlight, and the feeling slipped away to skulk, like the shadows on the bridge, in the corners of my mind.

  The road climbed and, a short while later, we arrived at the outskirts of a small Highland town.

  ‘We’re here,’ said Dan. He shifted into a lower gear as we swung round a bend.

  The pavements were packed with holidaymakers, their faces bright with smiles as they ambled along searching for bargains in the tiny shops. A woman with sunglasses perched on top of her head seated her family at a table on the pavement outside a coffee shop. Everywhere I looked there were people, taking time out of their normal lives, eating gelati, having fun. I ached to be one of them. If only I could be here with Dan for a carefree day out. For weeks my sole aim had been to find out who I was. Now, when I was about to get an answer, I didn’t want to know.

  Fifteen

  Rosie’s Café was on the corner of Balochry’s main road and not far from the car park where we left Dan’s car.

  ‘It looks good,’ said Dan. He pushed open the glass door and stepped inside. ‘I’ll buy you lunch.’

  I stood on the pavement, too scared to follow. What if Nardo came early and caught us together? Until I knew exactly what was going on, I didn’t want Dan involved. Naturally he misinterpreted my reluctance.

  ‘Hey, it’s only lunch. If it makes you feel better you can pay next time.’

  There was going to be a next time. Even that thought wasn’t enough to elicit more than a half-hearted smile from me. Dan made for a window seat but I managed to beat him to a table at the back, tucked away by the kitchen. ‘Don’t you want to look out?’ he asked as he sat down opposite me.

  ‘No, because I mightn’t recognise who’s looking in,’ I quipped. I failed miserably in my attempt to make it sound as if I was joking.

  ‘You worry too much. It’s going to be fine.’

  I wanted to believe him but couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was condemned.

  The waitress came over with menus. Dan ordered a cheeseburger with fries and a side salad, while I chose a grilled chicken sandwich. We both asked for cold drinks and they came out first – each with two straws, a slice of lemon and ice cubes bobbing at the surface. Dan drank half of his drink straight away and ate heartily when the food arrived. I stirred my drink with the straws and picked at my sandwich. I couldn’t stop my eyes from ping-ponging between my wristwatch and the door. At last Dan laid down his knife and fork. His eyes were on me as he cleared his throat. ‘I don’t have to go home. I could stay.’

  ‘No!’ I hadn’t meant for my refusal to sound so vehement. ‘Er… no thanks. I’ll be fine. Really! I’m bound to be nervous. I don’t even know who I’m meeting.’

  ‘I understand. But there’s no need to worry. I won’t go until this Nardo guy shows up. Not after what happened at the Kirkgreen bus stop.’

  I badly wanted to accept his offer to stay but, tempting as it was, I couldn’t. My chest tightened. ‘You can’t,’ I whispered. ‘But I promise I’ll be careful. No one will snatch me from here. It’s too crowded.’

  Dan looked as if he was about to protest, but he must have sensed my determination to meet Nardo alone. With a shrug he said, ‘Fine. But promise me you’ll be careful.’

  ‘I just did. I’ll be very careful.’

  ‘And you’ll call if you need me?’

  ‘Yes.’ I’d memorised Dan’s number ages ago.

  I was beginning to regret not picking a seat by the window. It was dark and stuffy here, and the smells from the kitchen were making me feel sick. I checked my watch again. Twenty minutes to go. I pushed my half-e
aten food away. ‘I think I’ll wait outside.’

  ‘Is that a good idea?’

  ‘He didn’t tell me to wait inside.’

  Dan called for the bill and after he’d paid he took my arm and guided me to the door. The gesture was strangely intimate. I liked it a lot but as we stepped outside I lifted both hands, ostensibly to push back my hair, but in reality to shake him off without hurting his feelings.

  ‘This is it then.’ My stomach felt hollow as I smiled bravely up at him.

  ‘Amber,’ Dan spoke softly, sending tingles down my spine. His incredible blue eyes held mine as he stepped closer. An intense feeling of warmth filled me. I wanted to hold him so badly that at first I wasn’t aware that I’d wrapped my arms around his waist. His body felt warm and solid. I nestled my head against his chest and wished the moment would never end. Dan stroked my hair as he pulled me even closer. I raised my head and the tips of our noses met. It sent a thousand tiny electric shocks pulsing through me. Time stood still. Dan brushed his lips ever so softly against mine. I held my breath, wanting his kisses, but as our mouths pressed together that hateful voice was suddenly back.

  Never trust anyone.

  I gasped and shoved Dan away with both hands. He reeled backwards and bumped into a lady with a dog. By the time he’d finished apologising to her I’d pulled myself together. The hurt in his eyes stung me like acid, but I knew I’d been right to push him away. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…’

  Dan silenced me with a hand, as if being shoved halfway across the pavement was no big deal. He wouldn’t meet my eye, though. My throat constricted and it left me utterly powerless to speak. I shouldn’t have put my arms around him. That was Amber’s fault. Only now I wasn’t Amber. I was Amara again, whoever she was.

  ‘See you around.’ Dan smiled tightly. He sidestepped neatly into the stream of people walking along the pavement and vanished.