Amber

by Julie Sykes

  There was no currency where I came from. That explained a lot, I thought, inconsequentially. ‘What happens if you can’t or don’t want to work?’ I asked.

  ‘Pietrans who genuinely can’t work are looked after. Those that choose not to work, and their dependants, are left to starve. They soon change their minds and conform,’ said Nardo abruptly.

  Talk about black and white. There didn’t seem room for shades of grey in Pietra.

  Speaking slowly, to emphasise the point, Nardo said, ‘Money! It’s why it is imperative that humans do not discover Pietra. We have minerals and gems that they would kill to get their hands on.’

  He stared at me for a while before asking, ‘What happened after the kidnapping?’

  Briefly, I told Nardo how I’d escaped from the house. I left out Dan’s involvement and the car chase. I let him think that once I was free I’d contacted Dan and he’d driven me to Balochry, where he thought I was meeting Claudia. I’d explained that she was a girl I’d become friendly with on the summer school programme. It shocked me that I was such a natural liar, but my instincts were good. As soon as I’d finished speaking Nardo leaped up, almost banging his head on the dank rock ceiling.

  ‘This is a serious breach of confidentiality. I’ve got to see Tor. Robert and Johnny have to be dealt with, immediately!’

  Nardo had reached the mouth of the hollow. My heart raced as I scrambled after him. ‘What do you mean? How will you deal with them?’

  ‘Memory reassembly,’ said Nardo, shortly.

  ‘Memory reassembly?’ Sweat beaded my hairline. ‘You’re going to alter their memories?’

  ‘It’s a chemical process. A small, colourless patch is stamped on the skin to induce a coma-like state. While the person sleeps the chemical wipes the memory of anything inexplicable. Holly, Robert and Johnny, they’ll only remember who you are but nothing about your special skills or how they tried to kidnap you.’

  ‘Is that legal?’

  ‘In Pietra, yes, of course. Not that we have much call to use it. We live as a collective. Pietrans conform or suffer the consequences.’

  We lived as a collective and suffered the consequences if we didn’t conform. Really? So far I didn’t like the things I was hearing about my homeland.

  ‘Memory reassembly is harmless, usually,’ Nardo continued. ‘We’ve had a few casualties. Some people, who have an adverse reaction to the drug, lose all of their memories. There have also been a couple of deaths, mostly in elderly people. The shock of witnessing telekinetic activity often stresses the heart. The memory reassembly drug is harmless in itself, but it has very powerful effects on the system. When it’s administered to the elderly it’s often the final straw. Their heart gives out completely.’

  Memory reassembly was harmless! No way. I didn’t buy that. Not when there was any chance of dying from it and definitely not if it could accidentally erase all your memories. I was living that nightmare. Total memory loss was a terrifying experience. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

  ‘Come on. There’s no time to waste.’ Nardo was on the move. He pushed aside the fronds and stepped into the water. With long strides he waded up stream until he was clear of the rocks then he crossed the river and climbed out onto the opposite bank. I followed after him reluctantly. It was dangerous and slippery, but I struggled on and pretended not to see when he offered his hand to help me out of the water. I was shocked and still reeling over his casual approach to memory reassembly. I didn’t care about Robert and Johnny. They were crooks. Kidnapping me at gunpoint was reprehensible and they had to be stopped from coming after me again. Holly was different. I didn’t like her, but I didn’t want to see her hurt. I’m not surprised she’d told her father about me. I’d scared her and got her into trouble at work. Then there was Dan. Fear clutched me. Dan was a totally innocent bystander. His only crime had been to help. I would not let Nardo reassemble Dan’s memories.

  Seventeen

  The ground became more rugged as we climbed. Nardo moved quickly as he forged a path through the scrubby bushes and tall trees. His eyes were everywhere, as if he was convinced that someone was following us. We saw no one but I was sweating with fear. What if Dan had followed us? What if Nardo caught him and reassembled his memory? We climbed on until my feet were stinging and I’d worn a hole through the sole of my left trainer. Nardo stopped suddenly and raised a hand, ‘Can you feel it?’

  I stood still and soaked up the incredible quiet. The Highlands were breathtakingly beautiful. The air was so pure. It filled me with a bubbling sense of anticipation. I felt as if I was on the edge of discovering something special.

  ‘I feel funny.’ I was having difficulty standing still. My feet wanted to keep moving.

  ‘You’re suffering from the effects of magnetic energy. We’re really close to the verbole here.’

  ‘Where are the Guards?’

  ‘Around. You’ll only see them if they want you to.’

  My eyes raked the slopes above and below me. The only visible living thing was a bird of prey. It rode the thermals in slow circles above the trees.

  ‘Come on,’ said Nardo and he set off again.

  He kept up the fast pace, even as he manoeuvred around a rocky outcrop. I climbed after him, gripping at the rock face with my hands. The ledge was narrow but the tingling feeling compelled me to hurry, even though the drop was steep enough to break my neck if I fell. On the other side of the rock, the path widened and then wound down to a small copse. Nardo hurried along it and disappeared into the trees. I followed until the path petered out. There was no sign of Nardo. I looked around uncertainly.

  ‘Over here.’ Nardo’s head appeared on the other side of a tree.

  The ground was veined with tree roots and scattered with old leaves. Apart from the occasional rustle, and the beat of bird wings, it was very quiet. I walked over, but when I got to the tree Nardo had gone again.

  ‘Nardo?’

  Unease needled my stomach. What was he playing at? Suddenly I longed for Waterside. I’d got what I’d come for. I knew who Amara was. Now I needed time – to work out what to do with my life, to decide who I wanted to be. Amara or Amber.

  ‘Amara, up here.’

  As I looked up, the strangest thing happened. A line appeared in the tree canopy, a thin vertical crack almost two metres high. I stared as it continued to widen. How was that possible? Suddenly, I realised that I was looking at a façade. That part of the canopy was nothing more than an image projected onto a door. The door slid open to reveal Nardo. He stood in the entrance hall of an incredible house with curved walls, built into an actual tree. He waved me up a staircase that had unfolded before him. The technology behind it was genius.

  ‘Hurry up,’ Nardo urged me.

  My initial unease melted and left me with a burning desire to explore inside. I climbed the steps and when I reached the top Nardo put his hand on the wall. The staircase silently rose back up, folding into the floor like an escalator, as the door slid shut. Inside, the tree house was every bit as impressive as the exterior. A staircase flowed gracefully up to the second floor. At the top was a wide galleried landing, with lots of rooms hidden behind coloured doors. Downstairs, the entrance hall led into a large open living space. Nardo walked through it and I followed. The walls were the colour of butterscotch and tastefully interspersed with bright coloured panels in red, blue, green and orange. The room wasn’t rectangular but followed the profile of the tree. Light filled the room, streaming in through a floor-to-ceiling window in the far wall. I was immediately drawn to it and stood to admire the panorama.

  ‘This is amazing,’ I said. ‘You can see for miles but from the outside you’d never know there was anything here.’

  Nardo’s face was a blank wall as he stared back at me. ‘So you don’t remember the portacasa?’

  ‘Portacasa.’ I struggled to translate. ‘Field
camp? This feels pretty permanent.’

  ‘Pietran technology,’ said Nardo, with a hint of pride. ‘Erected in hours.’

  ‘Amara!’ A bear of a man entered the room. His voice was deep and came from the depths of an enormous chest. Green eyes sparkled at me from under a thick fringe of sandy brown hair. He enveloped me in his muscular arms and hugged me tightly to him.

  I hugged him back stiffly until he held me out and looked me up and down.

  ‘You look well. You had us both worried when we couldn’t make contact. Where’s Nell? Is she missing me?’ His booming laughter filled the room.

  I stared at the ground, suddenly unable to face him. I felt like a traitor even though I hadn’t done any wrong.

  ‘Tor,’ Nardo came to his side and laid a hand on his arm. ‘I don’t know how to break this to you. It’s… it’s not good. There was an accident – a fatal car crash. It happened the day that Nell and Amber arrived. I’m so sorry, but Nell… she’s dead.’

  Tor went rigid with his mouth open, his eyes wide and staring. For a split second no one moved. I couldn’t even breathe. Then a low moan filled the room.

  ‘Nooooo!’ The word stretched out, as if Tor was falling from a cliff, and ended with a tortuous howl.

  Tears rolled down my face. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  The healthy tan seemed to leach from Tor’s face. He stared straight through me and his eyes were full of pain. I wrapped my arms round my chest. I felt like a voyeur. I wished desperately that I could blot out Tor’s anguish. When he suddenly crumpled, Nardo just caught him before he hit the floor.

  ‘No!’ Tor fought Nardo off. ‘No! No! No!’

  Nardo clutched him tightly and ignored the blows as they thundered down on his back. It was ages before Tor stopped struggling. Then he clung to Nardo. Tears streamed down his face. Unable to watch I turned away. I leaned with my head against the window and cried for a woman I wanted to remember but couldn’t.

  A long while later Nardo pressed a mug into my hands. It contained hot water and a slice of a bright green fruit that I didn’t recognise. I cradled it to my chest and breathed in its sharp citrus smell. The warm steam on my face was a comfort. Tor slumped in a beanbag-like thing that had moulded into a chair when he sat down. He looked broken. His eyes were swollen to puffy slits and his skin was blotchy. He clutched a drink that Nardo had given him, and after a bit he said, in a croaky whisper, ‘Tell me everything that happened to you.’

  I recounted my story slowly, in a neutral tone. I made it clear that I hadn’t formed any meaningful alliances when I’d gone to live at Waterside. As I spoke Tor reached inside his trouser pocket and pulled out a phone identical to mine only slightly larger. He sat with it in one hand, the fingers of his other poised over the keypad. The moment I stopped talking he asked for a detailed description of Robert, Johnny and Holly. I closed my eyes and drew pictures of them in my head. When I looked at Tor again he was entering the information I’d given him into his phone. His expression was intense as he swiftly pressed a sequence of on screen keys. With a satisfied sigh he rested the phone on the arm of the beanbag chair. He leaned forward and his bloodshot eyes searched my face. ‘Again,’ he said. ‘From the beginning. Tell me what happened.’

  This time, as I recounted what had happened, Tor questioned me relentlessly. He wanted every last detail of where I’d been, what I’d done and who with. I was careful to keep my lies consistent and met Tor’s steady gaze with my own. All the while my heart was hammering. I was hot with fear in case I accidentally jeopardised the safety of Dan and all my new friends. When I reached the end of my account I fell silent. Tor exchanged a look with Nardo, who was by the window, a mug in one hand. As the silence spun around us I clamped my teeth together and fought the urge to open my mouth and add more detail. Something deep inside me, a remnant of my special training perhaps, was telling me not to overstate my case.

  By the time Tor leaned forward, arching his fingertips together, my nerves were like shreds of torn paper. ‘Amara,’ he said softly, ‘do you remember the Confidentiality Decree?’

  ‘No.’ My voice was barely a whisper.

  ‘It’s the most important part of our training. On an alien planet, every Guard and Watcher lives or dies by it. The decree forbids us to share information about our world. It also expressly forbids us to form any kind of relationship with humans. To do our job properly it is often necessary to become friendly with the people here on Earth. Friendly but never friends. Do you understand the difference?’

  My throat tightened like an elastic band. I couldn’t speak so I nodded my understanding.

  ‘Under normal circumstances, anyone breaking the decree is sent home immediately where they are severely punished. These are not normal circumstances. If you have failed the decree you will be spared the consequences. It’s important you tell me the truth. Have you broken the Confidentiality Decree?’

  ‘No.’ I let the word hang between us before I added, ‘And yes.’

  Tor raised an eyebrow, inviting me to explain.

  ‘No, I haven’t formed any deep friendships. But yes, I have made friends. Given my situation it would have been impossible not to. The Marshalls are lovely people. They took me in and gave me a home. It would have been unnatural if I hadn’t formed any bonds with such a caring family.’

  Tor said nothing, but I think my answer satisfied him because he picked up his phone and passed it to me. ‘What do you think?’ he asked.

  My hands shook as I took it from him. On the screen was the computer-generated picture of a girl’s face. ‘That’s Holly,’ I gasped, stunned by the likeness.

  ‘Any changes you’d make?’

  I studied the picture again.

  ‘Her nose is a little thinner and her left eye a fraction bigger than her right.’ Funny how I’d only just realised that. ‘But it’s definitely her.’

  Tor tapped on the screen.

  ‘That’s better.’

  ‘And this?’

  ‘Robert, only not so much grey in his hair. Yes, that’s it. It’s just like him. And you’ve got Johnny exactly.’

  A satisfied smile curled the corners of Tor’s mouth.

  ‘Give me the address of your music school.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘To locate Holly.’

  I stopped with my mug halfway to my mouth as I thought about Dan, Mia, Jeff, Lucy, Josh and all the other students at Waterside. ‘How will you get to Holly without anyone else knowing about it?’

  ‘We’re very good.’

  I didn’t doubt that, but Waterside was full of people and hadn’t Nardo said that sometimes there were mistakes?

  Tor studied me carefully. ‘Do you have a problem with us going after Holly?’

  ‘N-no, not at all,’ I stammered.

  ‘Good, because I’d send you home now if you did.’

  For a wild second I thought that he meant Waterside and my heart leaped for joy. Home was where I wanted to be, to make certain that Dan was out of the way when Tor and his Guards came for Holly. Then, in a rush, I realised Pietra was my real home and I was appalled. ‘No! Don’t send me back. There’s no problem.’

  Tor’s eyes continued to bore into mine. ‘You worry me – the amnesia – how can you possibly understand what’s at stake?’

  My chest went so tight I could hardly breathe. I wasn’t ready to go back to Pietra. I wanted to see Dan and explain who I was. That much I owed him. But it was more than that. I wanted to talk to Dan, to share my feelings about this whole crazy situation and how I wasn’t sure where I belonged any more. I trusted Dan. He wouldn’t compromise this mission. He could keep a secret. And so could I.

  ‘That’s not fair. I’ve lived here for weeks without giving anything away. You can’t blame me for Holly finding out about me. It was a combination of circumstance and bad luck. I�
��m part of a community. If I disappear back to Pietra now there’ll be too many people who’ll want to know where I’ve gone. Are you going to reassemble everyone’s memories?’

  I held my breath, not sure if I’d gone too far.

  Tor stared at me for a long while. At last he said, ‘You make good points. But given your condition you can’t continue with this mission. Nardo, work out a legend to cover for why Amara has been missing for so long without her family realising. Then falsify the human documents needed to back up that legend. You’ll also need to arrange for Nell’s body to be handed back…’ He stopped abruptly.

  ‘Addessio!’ Nardo pulled a mobile from his pocket. He shot me a sympathetic smile before he left the room.

  Addessio – immediately! My heart shattered into tiny pieces. Pietra wasn’t giving me that warm fuzzy feeling that the thought of returning back home should. I didn’t want to go there yet – or maybe ever.

  Eighteen

  ‘We live and die by the Confidentiality Decree.’

  Nardo and I were seated on high stools, facing each other across a counter in the portacasa’s smart, bright kitchen. It was practically the fiftieth time I’d heard it and the message was wearing a little thin. I’d lost my long-term memory, not my immediate one. Or was it my commitment that worried Nardo? Earlier that afternoon Tor, and a small group of Guards, had left to deal with Robert, Johnny and Holly. The moment we were alone Nardo had launched into a series of questions about my relationship with Dan. In his words, ‘the boy he’d seen me hug, in Balochry’.

  ‘We’re friends,’ I answered. ‘I’ve already confessed to that. How was I to know, when I woke up and couldn’t even recognise my own face, that I was an alien on this planet? Of course I was going to make new friends. I needed them. And here on Earth good friends hug each other all the time.’

  Nardo tugged at his hair. ‘Sorry, but I’m only doing my job. We hug in Pietra too. It’s just, when I saw you together in Balochry, you seemed so much more intimate than friends would be.’