The Seeker

by Melinda Metz

  “I’m fine. I just wish I could have helped,” she answered. She opened her lunch box purse and pulled out her keys. Then she stood there, jingling them in her fingers.

  The image of Maria with her arms around him as they danced in the living room shoved its way into his mind. Had she really wanted him to kiss her last night? Did she want him to kiss her now? Was that why she was just standing there, not making a move to get into the car?

  Maybe he should do it. A fast good-night kind of kiss. Nothing major. A test to see if the little-sister feeling came rushing at him. If he was really careful about duration of lip-to-lip contact, he might not even completely cross over into the something-morethan-friends zone. There was such a thing as a friendly kiss, wasn’t there?

  He took a quick glance around the street to see if anyone was watching—and spotted Sheriff Valenti’s cruiser gliding toward them. He heard Maria give a little squeak, so he knew she’d seen it, too.

  Valenti continued past without slowing down. hat guy is everywhere, Maria said.

  “Yeah,” Michael agreed. “He doesn’t want a dog peeing on a fire hydrant that he doesn’t know about. I bet he knows where my parents’ ship is.”

  He and Maria locked eyes, and he knew they’d had exactly the same thought at exactly the same time. If they could get something of Valenti’s, Maria could use it to do her seeing thing on him.

  “Michael—,” she began.

  He nodded. “I guess I’ll need to pay a visit to the sheriff sometime soon.”

  “You mean we will,” Maria corrected him.

  “And after we snag a pair of his boxers or whatever, you can just check in on Valenti a couple of times a day until you find out what we need to know,” Michael continued.

  “I’m not touching Valenti’s boxers—even for you,” Maria joked. Then her expression grew serious. “But it might take a while to get any good info.” She sounded worried.

  “Hey, it will be a lot quicker than crawling over every inch of the desert the way I’ve been doing,” Michael answered. His odds of finding the ship had gotten much, much better in the last few minutes, thanks to Maria.

  She unlocked her car door and climbed in. She rolled down the window. “Okay, so we have a plan,” she said. “I’m spending the day with Kevin and my dad tomorrow—a visitation rights thing—but after that we can get started.”

  He felt like doing one of Maria’s wild happy dances. He was going to find his parents’ ship. He knew it. He was going home!

  Except … except it wouldn’t be much of a home with no family there waiting for him. He’d be surrounded by a bunch of strangers.

  Maria gave a little beep on the horn as she pulled away from the curb. Michael waved to her.

  Maybe Max and Isabel would go with me, he thought. Yeah, that would be cool, taking in the sights with Izzy and Max. He smiled at the picture.

  Then his smile faded. Max would never leave earth, not while Liz was here. And Isabel had decided to live the rest of her life as just a “normal human girl,” whatever that meant. And besides, if he did get the ship to work, if he did return to their home planet, he’d be leaving Maria, and Liz, and Alex behind. The three humans had become almost as close to him as Max and Isabel. Losing them … Michael didn’t even want to think about the hole that would rip inside him.

  He stared down the deserted street. Maria’s car had disappeared. He pulled down the sleeves of his sweatshirt. It was colder out than he thought.

  Maybe he should have kissed Maria. That would have kept him warm.

  “A nematode, for example, can dry up and turn crispy. Crispy—that’s a scientific term,” Ms. Hardy told the class. “But when it’s put into water, it comes back to life.”

  Just call me Mr. Nematode, Max thought. Because when Liz wasn’t around, he could feel himself drying up inside until he was half dead. And then when he saw her … total reanimation.

  “Here’s how it works. When the nematode dries out, its cells make a special compound,” Ms. Hardy said.

  Max tried to pay attention to the teacher’s explanation, but his eyes kept drifting back to Liz. She had her head lowered as she took notes, her long hair forming a curtain that hid most of her face from his view.

  But he didn’t need to see her face to know how she was feeling. Her aura said it all. The deep red bolts of fury that he’d seen in it outside UFOnics had faded. But what had replaced them was even worse—the oily gray-green of deep sadness now covered her entire aura. Liz was miserable.

  And it was all his fault. From the day he first told her his secret, he’d been screwing up her life. He’d put her in danger from Valenti, that was bad enough. But then he’d messed with her head—kissing her, then telling her they had to be just friends, then kissing her again, then telling her they had to be just friends again. Could he have hurt her any more if he’d spent months coming up with some master plan? He didn’t think so.

  The least he could have done was leave her alone after all that—even if it did make him feel like he was drying up inside. But no, he had to pull that psycho stalker boy stunt. The next time Liz was out with a guy, she’d probably spend the whole time scanning the crowd, trying to figure out which one was Max.

  He had to admit part of him—the big, ugly, selfish part—liked the idea of Liz ignoring other guys, even for such a twisted reason. But Max wasn’t going to let that part rule him. He was going to do the right thing. If it made him crumble into a pile of gritty dust, well, too bad for him. He deserved it.

  Max forced himself to tune into Ms. Hardy again. “Answer the questions on page forty-two for Wednesday,” she said.

  The bell rang. Liz shoved her notebook in her backpack and bolted. She obviously did not want one more second of Max contact than was absolutely necessary. She’d even skipped lunch in the quad today.

  Max grabbed his stuff and took off after her. “Liz, wait,” he called, running out into the hall. He realized a second too late that she’d been talking to Jerry. Great. He had to end up doing one more thing to make himself look like a total jerk, right?

  Liz spun around and strode back over to him, her dark eyes glittering with anger. “You better be calling me to say you’re moving to another state,” she snapped. “Otherwise I’m out of here.”

  “Just listen to me for one second,” he begged. She didn’t say no, so he started talking as fast as he could. “I’m sorry about what happened on Friday night.”

  “I really, really don’t want to listen to another apology from you,” Liz interrupted. “If you’re sorry, prove it—leave me alone.”

  “I will. I promise. That’s what I wanted to tell you,” Max answered. He hesitated, not wanting to say this next part. But he was the one who kept telling Liz they had to be just friends. So right now he was going to actually do that—be her friend, and help un-screw up her life.

  “And … and I also wanted to say that I’ve hung out with Jerry a little and he’s a good guy,” Max told her. “I think you two would be a good couple.”

  “Thanks for giving us your blessing,” she said sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want to be with a guy you didn’t approve of.”

  Max could hardly listen to what she was saying. His eyes were locked on the black splotches of pain exploding in her aura.

  He’d just hurt her again. Hurt her worse than he ever had before.

  Isabel tried to remember what Alex’s last class was. If she hurried, maybe she could catch him coming out. Or maybe it would be better to go straight to the parking lot and find his Rabbit.

  We can use that free game coupon I won last time we went miniature golfing, she thought. I guess I should apologize for calling him a charity case first. Then after golf we can go to the Crashdown and—

  Stop it, she ordered herself. Just stop it. She couldn’t keep using Alex. That’s what she’d been doing—using him, using him to keep away the memories, to help her feel safe, to make her feel like an ordinary human girl who barely knew what Sheriff Valenti looke
d like.

  Alex deserved better. And so did she. What, was she some pathetic loser who needed a guy to take care of her? Isabel didn’t think so. And she was going to prove it—right now. She was going to the mall.

  She was going to the place where Nikolas died. It was time to get over this thing. She hurried down the halls and out the school’s big double doors. She didn’t notice Liz and Maria hanging out in the quad until Maria grabbed her arm.

  “Hey, Isabel,” Maria said. “How’re you doing?”

  “Great,” she answered. But one look at Maria’s face told her that Maria wasn’t going to buy it. Isabel sighed. “Actually, not so good,” she admitted. “I’m still thinking about Nikolas all the time. I … I was going to go to the mall. I wanted to look at the last places we went together. I don’t know, I thought maybe it would help me get some closure or something.”

  “We’ll go with you,” Liz immediately volunteered.

  “Yeah, you can’t go alone,” Maria said. “Come on. I see the bus.” She grabbed Isabel by the arm and they ran to the bus top, Liz fight behind them.

  Maria led the way onto the bus, and they found seats together in the last row. Isabel stared at her friends in surprise. She hadn’t expected Liz and Maria to sympathize with her—they had both hated Nikolas.

  “Thanks … thanks for going with me,” she said. “I know the mall doesn’t exactly have great memories for you two, either.”

  The night Nikolas had died, Isabel had been way too out of it to realize Liz and Maria were at the mall. The only one she even remembered being around after Nikolas got shot was Max. But they had both been there, searching for her, trying to get to her before Valenti did.

  Liz and Maria were both quiet for a moment. “Yeah,” Liz finally said. “That was not a good night.”

  “I never said I was sorry,” Isabel said. “Not for what you went through that night … or before.” Nikolas had treated Liz and Maria with total contempt. He’d used his power to knock Liz out, just to prove a point. And Isabel had walked around insisting it was okay because Nikolas didn’t really hurt Liz.

  “That’s fight. You didn’t,” Maria answered.

  “Can I say it now? Is it too late?” Isabel asked.

  “I think you can just get in under the apology expiration date,” Liz said. Maria nodded.

  Isabel felt her eyes fill with tears. They were willing to forgive her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know how to say it any better. I shouldn’t have let Nikolas treat you the way he did. And I should have listened when you all told me he was putting me in danger.”

  “Well, you were in love with him,” Liz said.

  “Yeah. It’s not like you’re the first girl who ever did something stupid because she was in love,” Maria added.

  Isabel managed a little smile. “you’re both being so nice to me,” she said, her voice breaking.

  “What did you expect?” Liz demanded. “Did you think we’d dump you as a friend because you did one dumb—one very dumb—thing?”

  “Actually, it did cross my mind,” Isabel admitted.

  “You’re nuts,” Maria said. “Maybe that would happen with casual friends, but we’re a lot more than that. Think about that connection Max made between us. That made us more than friends. It’s like we’re almost sisters—you know, fristers.”

  “Yeah,” Liz agreed. “The three of us are fristers.”

  Fristers. Isabel liked the sound of that. She liked it a lot.

  “This is our stop,” Liz said.

  Isabel stared out the window as the bus pulled up at the mall. Her stomach tightened.

  “I want to go to Macy’s first,” she told Liz and Maria as they climbed off the bus.

  “Are you sure?” Maria asked.

  Isabel nodded. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it all the way. She was going to go right to the spot where Valenti shot Nikolas.

  She took the lead as they entered the store. She strode directly to the formal wear department, not even glancing at the racks of sportswear or the other shoppers.

  “I think I want to go the rest of the way by myself,” she said.

  “Okay, Maria and I will go over to the phones by the elevators,” Liz said. “I should call my mom and tell her where I am, anyway Take as long as you want.”

  “Yeah. Take as long as you want. But if you’re not over to the phones in fifteen minutes, we’re coming to get you,” Maria added.

  “Thanks,” Isabel answered. She walked back to the dressing rooms without hesitation. She slipped behind the red curtain shielding the entrance and stood exactly where she had when she watched Valenti murder Nikolas. She peered out at the spot where he had fallen.

  The patch of carpet looked just slightly darker than the rest. They’d obviously put in a new piece. The scent of gunpowder grew so strong, she could almost taste it in her mouth. You’re imagining it, she reminded herself. You’re only imagining it.

  Isabel brought her hands to her chest. She started to pick at the polish on her thumbnail. Then she laced her hands tightly together. She wasn’t going to start that again. She was going to stand here, just stand here, and look at the spot where Nikolas died.

  She let the movie play in her head without trying to block it out, watching Nikolas fall to the ground again, and again, and again. Smelling the gunpowder.

  “Can I help you?” a chilly voice asked.

  Isabel turned around and saw a saleswoman staring at her. She must have come from one of the dressing rooms.

  “I’m just … I’m just looking for a friend,” Isabel answered. She turned back around and peered out at the dark patch of carpet again. No movie began in her head. The only odor she smelled was the chalky, musty scent of the curtain. “I guess he isn’t here,” she added softly.

  I did it, she thought. I came here, I looked, and I survived. She pushed her way through the curtain and rushed over to the phones.

  “I just want to go to a few more places,” she told Liz and Maria. “First the jewelry store.”

  It was one of the last places she’d been with Nikolas. That’s why she wanted to go there. She wanted to remember something besides the way he died, kind of relive their last hours together.

  “Lead the way,” Maria said.

  Isabel hurried out the exit that led into the mall. She breathed in the smell of chocolate cookies from the stand across the way. There wasn’t the slightest taint of gunpowder in the delicious scent. She pulled in a long, deep sniff.

  She, Liz, and Maria strolled down the main walkway to the jewelry store, then went inside and wandered from counter to counter. Liz and Maria didn’t try to get her to talk or anything. They just kept her company. It’s like they knew she needed time to remember.

  The last time she’d been here, she and Nikolas had had the store to themselves. They’d had the hole mall to themselves. She hadn’t known how lose Valenti was to finding them. She hadn’t known Nikolas only had a few hours left to live.

  “I’m ready to move on,” Isabel told Maria and Liz.

  “Do what you need to do,” Liz answered. “We’ll be right behind you.”

  Isabel led the way out of the store and up the escalator to the second floor. She hurried down to the drugstore and went to the old photo booth they had in the back.

  She stood there, staring at it. Liz and Maria didn’t ask any questions. They just stood with her.

  This was the last place she and Nikolas had kissed. And it had been a good kiss, too. Wild and intense—just like Nikolas. Isabel wished she could stop her memories of that night right here.

  But it was right after Nikolas kissed her that last time that their awesome night started to turn bad. “Nikolas and I were back here and we heard a security guard,” she blurted. She’d wanted to tell somebody this since it happened. “Nikolas told me that I had to knock the guard out. He said if I didn’t, he’d let us get caught.”

  Isabel wrapped her arms around her waist. She kept her eyes locked o
n the photo booth. She wanted to tell Liz and Maria what happened, but she couldn’t look at their faces.

  “I didn’t want to do it,” she continued. “But I was scared. Nikolas would have let the guard find us. I know it. So I jumped out and I did it. I hurt him. I could feel myself hurting him.”

  “Michael and Alex and I found him,” Maria said “Michael checked him. He was still out, but he was okay.”

  “That’s not even the worst part,” Isabel told them. She didn’t know if Liz and Maria would still want to call themselves her fristers after they heard the rest.

  “The worst part is I told Nikolas knocking out the guard was a rash,” Isabel admitted. “I wanted him to think I was fun. Nikolas only wanted to hang out with me when I was fun. Otherwise, forget it.”

  “Oh, Isabel,” Maria whispered. “That’s awful. Awful for you, I mean. You loved him, and he treated you …” Maria let her words trail off.

  He treated me totally unlike the way Alex does, Isabel thought. She tried to remember the last time he had any fun in her presence. It had to be that night they went miniature golfing because after she met Nikolas, Alex and the others didn’t have any fun of any kind. But none of them walked away And Alex … he’d been her walking, talking security blanket.

  There’s no way Nikolas would have sat outside her door, telling her goofy stories until his throat went dry just to make her feel better. And if she cried in front of Nikolas even once, he probably would have told her to call him when she was out of diapers.

  “I’m going to go in there for a minute,” Isabel said. She slipped into the photo booth and sat down on the little stool. She closed the curtain behind her and sighed.

  She’d been thinking about Nikolas so much lately. But only about the horrible way he died. He didn’t deserve that—no one could possibly deserve that.

  But would she even still be with Nikolas if he were alive? Would she still be doing back flips trying to show him how fun she was, trying to prove she wasn’t a loser? And getting the hottest kisses ever? She couldn’t forget that part.