Diamonds in the Rough

by Michelle Madow

  “With cryonics, who knows what we’ll be alive long enough to see.”

  “With what?”

  “Cryonics,” he repeated. “The idea that people can be frozen at the moment they’re considered dead by current definition, then healed in the future, when technology has advanced beyond what’s available today. It’s something Adrian—and now my mom and I—believe in. Ask him about Alcor. I’m sure he’d love to talk with you about it.”

  “Alcor,” she repeated, so she would remember later. It sounded like something from science fiction novels—not something that could happen in real life—but she loved learning about new things. She did her own research before believing anything, but she liked to be open-minded. There was always something to learn from listening to and understanding people’s viewpoints. “What does that mean?”

  “It’s the cryonics foundation Adrian supports,” he said. “It’s named after a star.” With that reminder, they turned their eyes up to the night sky, just as a meteor zoomed overhead. It was gone in a flash—so quickly that Courtney was unsure it was there at all.

  “Did you see that?” She pointed at where it had disappeared.

  “I did.” He smiled, his eyes reflecting the starlight. “First one of the night.” They both studied the sky, waiting for another meteor, but all was still. “So…how are you doing after everything that happened over Thanksgiving?”

  Everyone who knew referred to it in a similar way—“what happened over Thanksgiving,” “the Thanksgiving incident” or “your discovery at Grandma’s.” No one wanted to say Britney’s name out loud.

  “Honestly, I’m not sure,” she said. “It’s a lot to process. I’m angry with my mom and Grandma most of all. I haven’t forgiven Adrian either, but it’s different with him, since he didn’t live with me for all those years and lie to my face every day. Besides that, I guess there’s nothing I can do, other than move forward. But it’s hard, knowing I had a sister—a twin—who I’ll never know. I can’t stop wondering what she would have been like if she’d lived. What I would have been like if she’d lived.”

  “I can’t imagine how that must feel.”

  “It’s awful.” She stared up at the stars, as if they held the answers. “But Adrian’s really trying to make things right between us. He took me and my sisters to the Grand Canyon, and we had a great time. And while he meant well, and he seems to want to keep doing these father/daughters Sunday activities, I wish he’d told us about Britney when he first told us about the kidnapping.”

  “For what it’s worth, my mom keeps telling me how terrible Adrian feels about it, and that he regrets not telling you everything the day you moved here,” Brett said. “I know that doesn’t change anything, but despite the secrets, I don’t think he’s a bad person. My mom wouldn’t be marrying him if he were.”

  “I know,” Courtney said. “And I don’t think anyone kept this from me and my sisters because they wanted to hurt us. But they—my mom, Grandma and Adrian—were being so selfish. They didn’t tell us about Britney because it hurt them to think about what happened to her, and it made their lives easier to pretend she never existed. I hate how they lied for all those years, and I hate how if I hadn’t stumbled upon that baby book, they might have kept the truth from us forever.”

  Brett reached across the gap between their chairs and took her hand in his, sending tingles up her arm and through her body. “I can’t say that I’ve been there or understand how you feel, but I hope you know that I’m here for you,” he said, his eyes shining with how much he meant every word. Their hands felt so perfect linked together, as if it was where they belonged. “I’ve been trying so hard to talk to you for the past week, to see how you’re doing. I’m glad you ended up here tonight.”

  “I wish our parents weren’t getting married,” Courtney said, surprising herself by her honesty. “It would make this so much simpler.”

  “Maybe.” He kept his eyes locked on hers, the intensity in them leaving her breathless. “Or maybe not. If our parents weren’t getting married, I wouldn’t have switched to Goodman or live in the Diamond, so we might never have met.”

  “I like to think we would have.”

  He leaned forward, as if he were going to kiss her again, and it was as if a magnetic force were pulling them together. His lips were centimeters from hers, but then she remembered everything going on in her family, and how she was stuck in the center of it all, and it was too much.

  She dropped her hand from his, her skin feeling cold where Brett’s fingers had been. The disappointment in his eyes left her heart feeling empty.

  “I’m sorry,” she somehow managed to say, since she had to say something. “I care about you a lot, but I just can’t. Not right now, with everything going on with the family. It’s all so confusing, like I’m being pulled in a million directions, and I don’t know what to feel about anything anymore. I can’t complicate everything more than it already is.”

  “Have you ever thought that you’re stressing yourself out more by not allowing yourself to be honest about your feelings for me?” he asked. “Haven’t you ever wanted to put yourself first and focus on what you want? To do what feels right instead of what people tell you is right?”

  “I think about it constantly,” she said. “But what if we try to make it work, and it ends terribly? It won’t be like a normal relationship where both people move on with their lives. It would be a million times harder, because we’ll be family. We’ll both end up getting hurt.”

  “But what if it could work between us? Won’t you regret never letting yourself find out?”

  “Maybe.” She pulled her legs toward herself and wrapped her arms around them. “I don’t know. Everything’s been so crazy with all that’s been going on that I don’t know what to feel about anything anymore. I just…. need time to think about it.”

  “I get it.” He nodded. “This is a hard time, and I’ll stop pushing you. But I’m glad you’re here with me now. Let’s just enjoy the meteor shower, okay?”

  She said okay, and they both leaned back in their lounge chairs, staring up at the stars. He made a good point—did she want to look back to this part of her life and wonder what if when it came to Brett? And then, because she’d been thinking about her a lot recently, she wondered…what would Britney have done in this position?

  She would never know for sure, but the daring twin she’d created in her mind would stop worrying about the what-ifs and follow her heart.

  Chapter 31: Peyton

  Being grounded sucked.

  It had been two weeks, and the only time Peyton was allowed to leave the Diamond was for school and “official” family outings. At least she was allowed to go to restaurants in the hotel with her sisters. Otherwise she would have gone stir-crazy. And while this past week had been more exciting because of the camera crew following Savannah, Peyton didn’t know how she was going to last another two weeks. At least she had Savannah’s Sweet Sixteen tomorrow night. Besides that, she’d been reduced to watching reality show marathons while everyone else was out having fun. She’d even been so bored that she’d taken a practice test from the SAT book Courtney had put in her room. Pathetic.

  But the worst part about the past two weeks was that Jackson had only sent her one text message:

  Hi, Peyton. Thanks for your message. I’m spending a few weeks with my parents in Omaha, figuring out what to do from here. I think it’s best that we take some space from each other. Hope all is well. --J

  It was so formal, and reading it had crushed her. She’d texted him back, asking him to just talk to her, but she’d gotten nothing. It was like everything that had happened between them—every moment, every connection—had never existed. Her heart hurt, like her chest had collapsed around it and shattered it into a million tiny pieces. Every time her phone buzzed, she hoped it was Jackson, saying he didn
’t need “space” anymore, but it never was.

  He must hate her. He probably blamed her for his getting fired. And it was her fault. If she hadn’t been so pushy and had just let him do his job, none of this would have happened. Now she was staring blankly at the open SAT book, feeling sorry for herself and wishing she could go back in time and fix her mistakes.

  So when Courtney knocked on her door a little after midnight and asked if she wanted to grab a late-night snack at the Diamond Café, Peyton jumped at the invitation. They each got the Diamond Signature Hot Chocolate, along with a ginormous slice of red velvet cake to share, and situated themselves at a table in the back corner.

  “You were out late tonight.” Peyton stabbed the cake with her fork and shoved the bite in her mouth. The red velvet was truly heaven in a dessert.

  Courtney stared at where Peyton had attacked the cake, carefully cut it in half, and put the untouched piece on her plate. “I went to the rooftop pool to watch the meteor shower.”

  “By yourself?” Peyton frowned that she hadn’t been invited. Watching a meteor shower was hardly her idea of a fun Friday night, but with needing her sisters as escorts for the next two weeks, it was better than sitting in the condo watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model.

  “I needed time to think, so I wanted to go by myself.” Courtney took a sip of hot chocolate, her cheeks turning red. “But when I got to the roof, Brett was already there.”

  “And running into him just happened to be a coincidence?”

  “It was a total coincidence,” Courtney said, and then she told Peyton every detail of the conversation she’d had with him.

  “And you left it that way? With you having to ‘think about it’?” Peyton forced herself to slow down eating, since while Courtney had been telling the story, she’d nearly finished her half of the cake.

  “Was that wrong?” she asked. “He was disappointed, but I was being truthful. I do need time to think about it.”

  “But you two really are perfect for each other,” Peyton said. “You should at least see what happens. If it all goes to hell and it doesn’t work out, you know Savannah and I have your back.”

  “I know.” Courtney sighed. “But Adrian and Rebecca were clear about not wanting me to get involved with Brett. They have good reasons for it, and I would hate to disappoint them.”

  Peyton nearly choked on her hot chocolate. “After Adrian lied to us about Britney, you’re still worried about disappointing him? If I were you I would go for Brett just to piss him off.”

  “I’ve actually been thinking about it,” Courtney said, and Peyton nearly dropped her mug. “Not the part about dating Brett to piss Adrian off. But about acting on my feelings for him. I understand what Brett means about not wanting to look back and regret never knowing what could have happened between us, and I don’t want to make a mistake like that.”

  “That’s more like it.” Peyton smiled and clicked her mug with Courtney’s.

  “Anyway,” Courtney said. “Were you doing an SAT practice test when I came into your room?”

  “I was bored.” Peyton shrugged. “I still don’t want to go to college. But I had nothing else to do.”

  “Is the ADHD medicine helping your score?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I never tried to take it without the Adderall. My score isn’t as good as yours, but it’s not terrible, either. Don’t get any ideas, though. I’m only doing this because I have nothing better to do while I’m stuck in the condo.”

  “And school isn’t as torturous for you with the Adderall, right?”

  “I’m never going to love school like you do,” Peyton said. “But with the medicine, it’s not as hard to stay focused. My mind still wanders, but not as much, and I don’t want to jump out of my seat after only fifteen minutes of class.”

  “That’s good.” Courtney nodded, and ate a few more bites of her cake. “So, I’m guessing you haven’t heard anything more from Jackson?”

  “Nope.” Peyton touched the button on her iPhone to make sure there were no missed messages. There weren’t. “I texted him back, asking him to let me know when he was ready to talk, but he hasn’t replied. I keep making excuses for him—maybe he didn’t get the text, maybe there’s something wrong with his phone, maybe he has a new phone and I should try to send him a Facebook message instead, or that I should simply demand to know how long he needs ‘space.’ Every day it’s a struggle not reaching out to him, but I stop myself. I refuse to be pathetic about it.”

  “It’s hard,” Courtney said, staring at her cake as if she were thinking about something else. “Wanting to be with someone you can’t have.”

  “Yeah,” Peyton agreed. “It sucks hard-core. But here’s the big difference between our situations—Jackson’s not interested in me anymore because I screwed up his life. But Brett’s interested in you. He cares about you so much—you should have heard him banging on the door the day after Thanksgiving, begging for a chance to talk to you. It took a lot of self-control for Savannah and I to refuse, and we only did it because we were worried you would rip our heads off if we didn’t give you space.”

  “I wouldn’t have ripped your heads off,” Courtney said. “But I really did need space that day.”

  “I get that,” Peyton said. “And I get how much it sucks to want to be with the one person you can’t have. But while Brett’s being open and honest with you about his feelings now, he’s not going to pine away for you forever. If you want anything to happen between you two, it’s up to you to do something about it.”

  Chapter 32: Madison

  Tomorrow was Savannah’s big Sweet Sixteen party, and most of Madison’s friends had gone to Myst to start off the weekend celebrating with Savannah and her redheaded friend from California. Everyone had been so nice to Savannah recently—probably because they were hoping for airtime on My Fabulous Sweet Sixteen. It was pathetic.

  So instead of tagging along with them, Madison was reading under her favorite statue in the Lobby Bar—the gold one of the woman turning into a tree. It was comforting, as if the lady in the statue was watching over her. She reached the end of a chapter and looked up just in time to spot Courtney and Peyton walking by, holding a takeaway bag from the Diamond Café. Courtney’s eyes met hers, and while they weren’t friends besides that one conversation in the tutoring center, Madison waved. She couldn’t be mean to the Diamond girls anymore.

  From the way Courtney angled her body toward Madison and Peyton angled hers toward the elevators, they must have been debating coming over and saying hi. Courtney apparently won, because they headed in Madison’s direction. Peyton scowled, as if she wanted to be anywhere but there.

  “Hey.” Courtney glanced at the book in Madison’s lap. “That’s a good book. One of my favorites.”

  “Everyone’s been talking about it, so I figured I should give it a try,” Madison said. She wasn’t a huge reader—she normally preferred hanging out with friends—but she did read the popular books that were being turned into movies. “It’s good so far.”

  Courtney looked up at the statue. “Do you normally read here?”

  “Occasionally,” she said. “This is my favorite place in the Diamond. I love the statue.”

  “The story of Daphne and Apollo is one of my favorites.”

  “What?” Madison had no idea what Courtney was talking about.

  “That tree is a rendition of Daphne.” Courtney motioned to the golden statue, whose arms and legs turned into the branches of a tree. “In Greek mythology, the god Apollo was struck with a gold arrow that caused extreme lust, and the water nymph Daphne was struck by a lead arrow that made her hate romance. Apollo chased after Daphne, and she ran from him. When she’d run so much that she couldn’t continue, she begged her father—a water god—for help. Water gods have the power of transformation, so he tu
rned her into a laurel tree. But Apollo still loved Daphne, and since he couldn’t be with her, he cared for her as a tree. That’s why the laurel wreath is a symbol of Apollo.”

  “You knew all that off the top of your head?” Madison asked.

  “I like Greek mythology,” she said. “When I moved here and saw the statue, I refreshed my memory on the story.”

  “Okay.” Madison picked her book back up. She didn’t hate talking to Courtney, but being around her and Peyton made her skin feel tight, as if the secret were trying to force its way out. She wanted to keep her distance until Adrian’s big reveal.

  Courtney played with her hands, as if debating saying more. “So this is kind of awkward, but we have to ask you,” she said. “You didn’t post those pictures of Peyton with Hunter and that video of Savannah botching that song at that party on the Campusbuzz forum, did you?”

  “This again?” Madison didn’t get it—why did people think she wasted time posting that crap? “First Oliver asked about it, and now you. No, I didn’t write that post. I checked it out after Oliver mentioned it, but I swear I didn’t write it. I wasn’t even at that party when Savannah sang that song.”

  “But you took that picture,” Peyton said. “The one of me and Hunter at the bar. I saw it, and I deleted it from your phone. I know you remember.”

  “Of course I remember,” she said. How could she forget? Especially since that strong (and very sexy) bodyguard of Peyton’s had forced her to enter her password on her phone. “But by the time you deleted it, I’d already texted it to a friend. Sorry.”

  All right, maybe it was more like two friends. Because Larissa had insisted she have a copy, too.

  “Why would you do that?” Peyton’s eyes raged, and she took a step closer to Madison.