The Eagle And The Lamb (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Darlene Mindrup

  “Don’t push me, Decimus.”

  Swallowing hard, Decimus decided he might as well go all the way. He had nothing to lose. “May I speak to Sara?”

  A muscle worked convulsively in Antonius’s jaw. Decimus thought for sure that Antonius was going to refuse his request. Instead, an unusual calm seemed to settle around him. “Go ahead, but Sara will remain here. Be sure you make that clear to her.”

  Decimus found Sara in the peristyle, staring up at the risen crescent moon. Stars filled the dark expanse of the sky. Torches were lit in the garden, and though he could not see her face clearly, he could tell she was smiling.

  “What makes you so happy?” he asked her softly. “What are you thinking about?”

  She jumped slightly, turning her head quickly in his direction. “You startled me,” she told him breathlessly, a smile returning to her face. “I was just thinking how God works in such mysterious ways.”

  Decimus sat down beside her. He pulled a hibiscus blossom from its bush and placed it gently in Sara’s hair. She frowned at him uncertainly.

  “What bothers you, Decimus? I see worry in your eyes.”

  He looked away from her, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. “Sara, Antonius has given me my freedom.”

  Sara’s eyes went wide in shock, the color draining from her face. Her eyes flew swiftly around the peristyle before returning to rest on Decimus’s face. Suddenly her face came alive with joy.

  “But, Decimus, this is wonderful! Now you can go home to your people. You can tell them about God.”

  Sighing, he buried his face in his hands. “It’s not that simple.”

  Totally confused, Sara placed a hand gently on his down-bent head. “I don’t understand.”

  Brushing his hands back through his hair, he lifted his head and stared intently into her eyes. “I won’t leave you. I told him I want to marry you.”

  Sara sat back in stunned amazement. She couldn’t think of a thing to say. It had never occurred to her that Antonius might be right in his assessment of Decimus’s feelings. She had thought it a case of mistaken imagination on Antonius’s part.

  “What did he say?” she asked softly, suddenly fearful of what might be coming. She had no desire to leave. She loved Decimus, but not like he wanted.

  “He said to make clear to you that you cannot leave.” Decimus gritted his teeth in impotent anger. He had been trying to think of a way, but he kept coming to the same conclusion. Either he left a free man or he would leave sold to someone else. The pain of it caused tears to come to his eyes. He turned away from Sara, not wanting her to see.

  Sara watched him thoughtfully. She could sense Decimus’s pain, but she could not help her own relief. She never meant to hurt Decimus, and though she didn’t take his feelings lightly, neither did she believe him in love with her to the extent that he seemed to feel.

  “I cannot marry you, Decimus,” she told him softly, trying to shield him from more pain. “I don’t love you the way you mean. Not the way my parents love each other.” His shoulders slumped in defeat, and Sara felt torn. Stroking his back in slow-moving circles with her hand, she began to reason with him. “I told you God had a purpose for you. I told you that one day you would go home and spread God’s Word. Now that time has come.”

  A tear slid down Decimus’s cheek, and Sara gently wiped it away. “Someday you will meet the woman God meant for you to marry, and you will be glad you waited.”

  He shook his head vehemently. “Never!”

  Sara hid a smile. He sounded so much like a hurt child.

  Suddenly he turned to her, his eyes alive with hope. “I could ask Diana to release you, also.”

  “Antonius has the final say in this family. What would he say?” Sara was unsure just why Antonius refused to let her go with Decimus, and she was unsure why it made her feel excited inside that he was so unwilling to let her go. She thought his reasoning probably had something to do with Diana.

  Decimus turned away. “You want me to go?”

  “Oh, Decimus! Part of me will cry for your loss, but the other part of me thrills for your release.” She took his face between her palms and smiled gently into his eyes. “Go with God. And don’t forget your little Jewish sister.”

  Decimus gave a halfhearted attempt at a smile. “I could never forget you.” Turning away, he sighed and got to his feet. “I’ll tell Antonius that I accept his offer.”

  Sara watched him walk with bowed head from the garden, and her heart ached for him. It occurred to her that she knew just what it was like to love someone who didn’t love you back.

  ❧

  Decimus took the scroll from Antonius. He watched him silently. Using his newfound freedom, he decided to say what needed to be said. “Sara is a very special woman. I hope that she will never be hurt.”

  Antonius recognized the threat in Decimus’s voice, but surprisingly he felt no offense. “I have no intention of hurting her,” he told him quietly.

  Nodding his head, Decimus began to twirl the scroll in his hands. “May I say good-bye to Diana?”

  Again Antonius took offense at the use of her name. Then it suddenly occurred to him that Decimus and Diana had been more than slave and mistress. They had been friends. Would Sara ever get over her fear of him and feel that way, too? He nodded his permission. Reaching his hand into the gold box on his desk, he pulled out a small bag of money. He held it out to Decimus, who did nothing toward taking it.

  “Please,” Antonius told him. “For Diana. She would be very distressed if she knew you wouldn’t take it. You deserve it.”

  Slowly Decimus took the bag, clenching it in his hand. He stared at Antonius a long moment before he turned and walked out of the room.

  Chapter 11

  Over the next several weeks, Antonius found himself watching Sara more and more. He looked for her whenever he entered the villa and found himself disappointed if she was not around. He began to call her to him in the bibliotheca, supposedly to discuss some of the Jewish writings he had managed to buy.

  At first, Sara was reluctant. But as Antonius shared the writings on his scrolls with her, she began to relax and look forward to those times. As a child, her father had read from the old scrolls, but Sara had been too little at the time to remember much. Now she found herself fascinated by the writings of the old prophets.

  Antonius would watch her eyes light up when he read particular passages, and he would wonder what had caused her response. She would patiently answer his questions, but he could tell she was holding herself back for some reason.

  Sara began to explain to him the meanings behind the prophecies and their fulfillment in the man called Jesus Christ. It still made no sense to him that a god would allow His Son to be crucified on a cross, the cruelest, most detestable form of punishment there was. Any argument he had, though, was met with reasoning and logic from Sara. She had an answer for everything. It amazed him that a woman could speak so intelligently.

  On this particular day, they were lightly arguing about the attributes of deities.

  “If this Jesus was God, how could He have died?” Antonius wanted to know.

  “It was because He was God that He had to find a way to live as a man. He allowed a part of Himself to become mixed with a human so that He might better understand us. Our temptations, our desires. There was nothing He didn’t experience. But because He was God, when the time came for His mortal body to die, He was still able to overcome death.”

  Sara frowned at his cynical smile and decided to try again. “Romans claim that the emperor is a god, is this not so?”

  “That is so,” Antonius agreed.

  “And yet Augustus, Tiberius, and Caligula are all dead. And someday Claudius will die, also. If he were a god, he wouldn’t need the food tasters and the bodyguards.”

  Antonius would have argued, but he couldn’t. She was right. But how did that make her God any different then? He had died, also.

  “I know what you’re think
ing,” she told him softly. “But there is a difference. Jesus allowed Himself to die so that we might live. He died, but He arose again. He overcame death. Over five hundred people witnessed this.”

  Surprised that she could read his mind so well, Antonius turned away and looked out the window. He had been reading some of the Jewish prophecies that had predicted the downfall of the Jewish people. Some of the conquerors were predicted by name over a hundred years before that king was ever born. It was uncanny.

  He had spoken with some of the soldiers who had been in Jerusalem when the man Jesus had been crucified. The stories they told him made his blood run cold. Since Antonius himself had only been ten at the time, he didn’t remember very much about the man who had caused such an uproar in the Roman republic.

  One of the centurions who had been in Jerusalem at the time and had served Pontius Pilate was himself now a Christian. What kind of attraction could this religion have that so many people would flock to it even in the face of persecution? The thing that upset Romans so much was the fact that it taught equality for everyone.

  “May I go now, Tribune?” Sara’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts. “It is almost time for lunch, and Diana wanted to have it in the peristyle.”

  He nodded his head and watched her walk gracefully toward the door. “Wait!”

  She stopped and looked at him inquiringly. “Yes, Tribune?”

  He crossed the space to her and stood looking down into her expressive eyes. “Do you still miss Decimus?” he asked her quietly and studied her face intently.

  She dropped her eyes, but he lifted her face by cupping her chin in his large, rough palm.

  “Do you?” he wanted to know.

  “Very much,” she told him truthfully. She had longed for her friend to confide in many times. She missed his company when preparing baskets of food for those whom Diana chose to help. She missed his laughter that so many times helped her over her own periods of depression. And if she were not mistaken, Diana missed him just as much.

  Antonius rubbed his thumb gently over Sara’s lips and saw the fear return to her eyes. Was she so afraid of him, or was she, as she had said, afraid of herself? He decided to find out.

  He lowered his mouth to hers, holding her firmly when she would have moved away. When his lips met hers, he let out an unconscious sigh. This is what he had longed to do for some time now.

  Sara tried to hold herself rigid beneath the onslaught to her senses. Her mind clouded, and reason seemed to be slipping away. When Antonius wrapped his arms around her, she found herself leaning into his kiss, returning it with a fervor she didn’t know she possessed.

  Antonius was surprised at Sara’s capitulation. Feelings he had never felt before swirled through his body, capturing his mind and his heart. Suddenly he longed for something more. He realized that what he felt for Sara transcended the physical, causing him to yearn for things he hadn’t known existed. But what it was, he wasn’t quite sure. These feelings were new to him.

  He lifted his lips from Sara’s and slowly dropped his arms to his sides. Feeling him withdrawing, Sara came back to her senses. She looked into Antonius’s eyes and saw the veil that descended over them to hide his thoughts. Her face flooding with color at her forwardness, she turned and fled.

  ❧

  “Antonius, I would speak to you about something.”

  Antonius grinned at his friend, pulling Orion to a stop. Flavius reined in his mount also and sat chewing on his lip. For the last several miles, Flavius had been utterly preoccupied. Antonius had wondered if he would share what was troubling him or if he would keep it to himself.

  “Well?” Antonius encouraged.

  Flavius’s eyes scanned the horizon in every direction, refusing to meet Antonius’s eyes that were beginning to fill with suspicion.

  “Is it about this unknown girl you refuse to share with me?”

  Color flooded Flavius’s face, and he felt his heart pound with trepidation. “You already know her,” he told Antonius quietly.

  Antonius stared at his friend, his mind trying to figure out the person to whom Flavius was referring. Obviously Flavius feared his wrath. Suddenly his eyes widened, and he turned on Flavius. “Not Helena!”

  Flavius glared at him. “By the gods, Antonius. Give me credit for having some sense.”

  Antonius looked perplexed then. “For the love of Poseidon, tell me.”

  Gaining his composure, Flavius lifted his chin firmly, staring boldly at Antonius. “I am referring to Diana.”

  Antonius felt his mind go blank with incredulity. His sister? His little Diana? She was but a child! He felt his anger begin to rise and as suddenly dissipate. Sara was as old as Diana, and hadn’t he been seeing her in much the same way?

  “How long has this been going on?” Antonius asked him angrily.

  Flavius frowned. “There’s nothing going on.”

  “Then what are you talking about?”

  Sighing, Flavius dismounted and began walking toward a little copse of trees. “If we’re going to discuss this, let’s do it in the shade.”

  Dismounting also, Antonius followed Flavius and joined him where he sat on a fallen tree. He realized that Flavius looked as though he were about to face a gladiator and not his best friend.

  Antonius sighed. “Let’s hear it, Flavius.”

  “I love Diana, Antonius. I have for a long time.” He swallowed hard before continuing. “When I thought she was going to die. . .I thought I would die, also,” he finished quietly.

  Antonius could well understand his feelings. Leaning his elbow on his knee and putting his cheek in his palm, Antonius turned to Flavius.

  “So just what exactly are you saying, Flavius? You momentarily caught me off guard, but I am rational now.” He smiled wryly, and Flavius returned his smile.

  “I want to marry her.”

  Something flickered briefly in Antonius’s eyes. “Have you spoken of this to her?”

  “Once,” he answered softly, and Antonius wondered at the pain in his voice. He sat up straight.

  “And did she reject you?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Antonius became exasperated. “Well, speak up, man. What did she say?”

  Flavius picked up a stick from the ground and began to break it into little pieces. His forehead creased in a frown. “She said she would never marry. That she couldn’t leave you.”

  Surprised, Antonius stared hard at his friend. “She told you this? Did she tell you that she didn’t love you?”

  Flavius shook his head. “No. We didn’t speak of love.”

  “What? You aren’t making sense, Flavius.”

  “The last time I came to your house, I told Diana I was resigning my commission so that I could get married.”

  Sudden understanding caused a grin to spread across Antonius’s face. “I assume you didn’t say to whom you wished to get married?”

  Frowning at him, Flavius pressed his lips together. “How could I?” Turning away, he lowered his head and dropped the pieces of stick to the ground. “She didn’t give me a chance,” he finished lamely.

  Antonius laughed, pounding Flavius on the back. “I think maybe you two were at cross-purposes, my friend. I’m not sure if Diana loves you in the same way, but I think she might.”

  Flavius glanced up quickly, hope filling his eyes. “You truly think so? And this would be all right with you?”

  Antonius answered him softly. “I can think of no one whom I would rather have for a brother. Come to dinner tonight, and maybe together we can convince my sister of this, also.”

  “It must be her decision,” Flavius warned.

  “Agreed.”

  ❧

  “I can’t marry you, Flavius.” Diana stood trembling between her brother and Flavius, tears shimmering in her eyes.

  “What?”

  “Antonius.” Flavius’s warning stopped Antonius in his tracks. His fists curled at his sides. What was going through his sister’s mind now
? He had seen her eyes fill with joy when Flavius spoke of his love, then the joy had faded and turned to sorrow. One thing he was convinced of. Diana loved Flavius as much as he loved her.

  “I don’t understand,” Flavius told Diana softly. “Do you not love me?”

  Diana struggled with an answer that wouldn’t bring down the wrath of her already sensitive brother. That Flavius loved her was more than she had ever dared to hope. Weeks ago she would have flown into his arms at such a declaration of love as he had given her. But now she was a child of Christ. If she told him so, she knew his eyes would fill with loathing. But she would not deny her Lord. He had made a remarkable change in her life already. Believing she had lost Flavius to another, she had found solace in the peace that Jesus had brought to her life. Although she had hurt, she hadn’t hurt nearly as badly as she would have before she found Him. She couldn’t turn her back on Him now.

  Flavius came to Diana, lifting her bowed head. He looked seriously into her misty blue eyes. “If you tell me you don’t love me, I will never mention this again. But I would always like to remain your friend.”

  The simple words that would leave her life intact refused to be said. She couldn’t deny her Lord, but neither could she lie and deny her love for this wonderful man.

  “I love you, Flavius,” she told him tenderly and watched the joy that filled his face. “But I can’t marry you.”

  “I don’t understand.” He frowned in confusion. “Is it because of Antonius? Because he has already agreed.”

  Diana looked at her brother and knew that her answer would displease him. He had such a volatile temper, and she knew she was about to light the fire within him. “I can’t because I’m a Christian,” she told Flavius, though her eyes never left her brother.

  Flavius stared at her, dumbfounded. “By the gods!” he whispered, suddenly dropping to the couch behind him.

  No one spoke, and the eerie silence became oppressive. Finally Flavius brushed his hand through his dark hair, lifting his eyes to stare broodingly at Diana. He seemed to suddenly come to a decision. Getting up, he went to Diana and took her by the shoulders. She dropped her eyes in embarrassment, not able to see the loathing she felt sure would be there.