Crazy Beautiful

by Penny Dee

  Piper gave me a quick run-down on the band. “That’s Armie on lead guitar; Tommy on bass, Zack on drums … and that’s Heath singing.”

  Heath.

  The club was full. Everywhere I turned I saw girls dressed in tight clothing. Everyone seemed drunk or well on their way and I felt immediately intimidated and out of place. Perhaps coming here wasn’t such a good idea. Since arriving from Savannah a few hours earlier I hadn’t had a chance to change and my knee length dress and cashmere cardigan fit in here as much as my grandma at a rave party. But Piper had me firmly by the wrist and pulled me deeper into the swarming crowd towards the stage.

  I didn’t recognize the song but everyone reacted to it like it was some kind of anthem. The beat was slow. Seductive. Heath’s voice was hoarse and powerful. The words were raw and sexual; a promise of what was to come.

  Feeling it rise, like a cool hand on your thigh,

  It’s hard in the dark; yeah it’s me you despise

  Cos you know I’m gonna make you scream

  Go ahead hate me; I’m gonna make you say my name

  This is my seductive game

  Put together, the mix was intoxicatingly potent. Heath was fucking each and every woman there with every sexually saturated word. On stage he held them captive with his powerful vocal style and sexy smile. His magnetic stage presence made it hard to look away. The way he looked. The way he moved. The way he strode across the stage and stepped onto the amps, standing luminous in the bluish-white light, looking like a god. His big boots. His jean clad legs. The glint of his belt buckle as it moved with the phallic rhythm of his hips moving to the music. It was hard to look away.

  Every now and then his shirt would rise up and the light would find his perfectly chiseled belly. Each time, women would scream. Or just stare with rampant desire. Others shot him invitations with their eyes or via the not so subtle gyrations of their bodies.

  I tried to look away, but damn it if he hadn’t already sucked me in. Aviators covered his eyes but I could feel them on me and my body reacted with violent longing, surprising the hell out of me. His raspy voice had detonated something inside of me, unfurling it with every word until I began to throb with the beat of the music. Spellbound, I watched as his arm extended forward as he pointed at me.

  Right.

  At.

  Me.

  The seduction had begun. With every word he sang. And it terrified and excited me all at once.

  I reached for the string of pearls around my neck. His words stripped me bare and I felt naked, standing in front of him, waiting, anticipating, needing him to finish me off with every seductive word falling from his lips.

  This wasn’t like me. It wasn’t like me at all. But I’d never seen anything like this back in Savannah.

  Swallowing hard, I peeled my eyes off him to glance around me. Epic was a large club, packed wall to wall with the band’s growing fan base, and you’d have to be blind to not notice that every single woman there was in love with Heath.

  To the left of the stage a stunning blonde, in a tight black dress and boots, stood out in all her glamour blondeness. She focused in on Heath as she moved her hips slowly to the music despite its tempo. Her lithe figure flowed like silk beneath the black dress. She was trying to catch Heath’s attention but he was still singing to me. True, I couldn’t see his eyes. But I could feel them on me like a pair of large, caressing hands as he sang:

  Yes you. By the time this night is through.

  By the first rays of the morning sun.

  I’m going to make you come undone.

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  I bit my lip. I’d never experienced this before and was utterly spellbound. Which was ridiculous because I was hardly your typical groupie. I was a good Southern girl, church going and well-behaved. Okay, maybe not church going. And perhaps not always so well-behaved thanks to my inner bad girl. But I was Southern.

  To break the spell I looked away and cast my eye around the room. The crowd had separated me from Piper, and she had vanished into the hordes of people that were moving and pushing like a living entity around me. I was in the middle of the action and it was getting more and more frenetic, and aggressive.

  After an elbow to the ribs amidst the violent jostling, I decided to escape the crowd. I turned and struggled towards the other side of the room where there was space to breathe. But as I went I was pushed and pulled in different directions like I was moving with a tricky tide.

  My only escape was to head towards the door. Swimming with the rip, I finally made it towards the back of the room.

  I hadn’t heard the vocals stop.

  The first moment I knew something was amiss was the hand on my arm as it swung me around.

  And there he was.

  The god from the stage, standing before me, his beautiful god-like face looking even more beautiful close up.

  He had parted the crowd to get to me like a modern day Moses parting the Red Sea.

  Wait? To get to me?

  The band was still playing but everyone—and I mean everyone—was looking at me.

  “You can’t leave,” he said in a deep and amazing, hoarse voice.

  My ability for speech had abandoned me. I knew I was staring at him like a fool and I had to tell myself to close my mouth.

  Say something.

  Anything.

  “Okay,” I managed to breathe.

  He smiled and it devastated me. A dimple appeared either side of his glorious mouth. He lifted his aviators so I could see bright blue eyes staring back at me.

  “I’m not going back on stage unless you stay,” he said with a grin.

  He was wildly cocky, in an annoying yet charming way. And somehow it snapped me out of the spell.

  I raised a brow in a very Scarlet O’Hara-ish kind of way. “Is that right?”

  He grinned harder. “If you leave, I will be forced to abandon this gig and chase after you.”

  “And why on earth would you do that?”

  “To find out your name.”

  I folded my arms. “You could just ask me.”

  His lovely mouth opened into a stunning smile. It was so beautiful it caught my breath in my throat.

  Ugh!

  “I have to go,” I said, suddenly panicked. This guy was too much.

  “Then I don’t go back on stage.”

  “Really? You’re going to blackmail me, thirty seconds after meeting me?”

  “If it means you’ll stay.”

  Again I raised a brow. “You don’t play fair.”

  “No, I don’t. I play hard.” He smiled, a big white beautiful smile that I felt from the tips of my toes through to the top of my head.

  “Harlow,” I said, surrendering with a smile. “My name is Harlow.”

  His half-smile tugged on his amazing mouth. “Nice to meet you, Harlow.” He lifted an eyebrow and hit me with those baby blues. “I’m Heath Dillinger.”

  He grinned.

  And everything changed forever.

  * * * * *

  He went back on stage to finish the set. The rest of the band looked at him with silent questions, their eyes searching across the crowd to find me. Jesse smiled and shook his head as if this unpredictable behavior was somehow typical of their lead singer.

  Thankfully Piper found me, no doubt courtesy of my rather public encounter with Heath, and we watched the rest of the set together. This time, she looped her arm through mine so she wouldn’t lose me.

  When the last song ended, Heath, in true rock star style, thanked the fans for their enthusiasm. His glorious deep voice filled the room with a promise to return after a short break.

  “C’mon,” Piper squealed. She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me through the club.

  By the time we made our way through the throng to the band’s table, they were all sitting down and ordering drinks. Fans crowded the table making it hard for us to get through. But I had underestimated Piper’s desire to
reach her man and she parted that crowd as if she had some kind of magic power. I put my head down and braced myself as she led me into the crowd of fans.

  Jesse appeared and lifted Piper up into his arms. “Did you see me babe?” He swung her around and kissed her. “Now that rocked!”

  I kind of felt out of place but smiled at their public display of adoration. It was obvious Piper and Jesse were made for one another and the way he held her tight was adorable.

  “You are the best baby,” Piper said and kissed him all over his cute face. She giggled and then remembering me standing beside her, turned his chin to look at me. “This is my friend Harlow.”

  Jesse offered me a hand and grinned. “How you doin’, Harlow? Enjoy the show?”

  I felt incredibly aware of how I didn’t fit in. My plain dress, cashmere cardigan and string of pearls screamed Catholic school. But I smiled and shook his tattooed hand. He seemed really nice, very friendly. His hair was short and dirty blonde. He had a kind face and even kinder eyes.

  “You guys were amazing,” I said truthfully.

  He winked. “Thanks!” Then he looked down at Piper in his arms and kissed her again.

  You couldn’t help but smile around them. Their affection for one another was sweet. But it did make me feel a bit like the third wheel. Slipping into a chair next to them I looked around. Across the table Heath was surrounded by girls. Two bottle blondes, attractive and wearing skin-tight clothing that did nothing to hide their big boobs and Californian tans, flanked him. A few steps away, a group of girls did their best to attract his attention.

  I wondered how I was going to slip out unnoticed. I didn’t belong there. And as nice as these people were, I would never fit in with them. They were a popular band with an entourage of very cool friends; I was fresh off the plane from Savannah and dressed like I had just come from church.

  Feeling awkward and out of place, I excused myself to find the bathroom where I had to line up to use a rather scary looking cubicle. Afterwards I washed my hands in a grimy basin that could challenge Ebola for a top level CDC rating. Then I managed to dodge a request for a tampon from a girl in a pair of barely-there denim shorts and a see through net top. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her dark nipples poked out through the mesh.

  After she left I was alone. I stared at the good girl in the mirror, fighting the feeling of not belonging and the desire to slip out of the club unnoticed. But I hadn’t come to California to stay at home.

  I met my eyes in the mirror. It was time to stop being such a flake.

  Back at the table, Piper was sitting on Jesse’s lap and they were laughing about something private. The crowd around the table had thinned. Heath was, for the first time, devoid of groupies draping themselves over him like blankets, but didn’t seem to notice because he was so entrenched in a conversation with the drummer, Zack.

  Looking around the dimly lit club, with luminous writing on the wall, I saw Heath’s girls on the dance floor whipping up a display of tongues and body grinding for his benefit. But when I looked back to Heath he was completely unaware. He was too busy animatedly explaining something to Zack and talking with his hands.

  My curious eyes were drawn back to the bottled-blondes who were working up a frenzy against each other’s bodies. Tongues. Hands. Wet lips. I’d never really seen any girl-on-girl action before. Except in a porno I’d watched with my ex-best friend back home when we were fourteen. And I’d never experienced any girl action, unless you considered me dreaming I was Anthony Keidis and I was nailing an Egyptian princess who had a magic urn.

  I turned away from the spectacle on the dance floor and was startled to see Heath looking at me from the end of the table. Heat flared in my cheeks. Before I knew it, he had claimed the seat beside me, bringing with him the energy of a frenzied shark attack.

  Before I could even open my mouth I was fully aware of his charm. It seeped from every pore that was Heath Dillinger. He smiled at me and I was almost dazed by his attractiveness. White teeth. Dimples. The hint of a cleft on his chin. Eyes like sunlight on the Arctic Ocean. He was the whole package and he knew it.

  While my head seemed determined to be unaffected by him, my body had its own idea. I felt an involuntary pull against my chest as he smiled at me and fixed me with those baby blues. I sucked in a deep breath trying to stop the physical reaction taking place all over my body.

  “So. Harlow,” he said simply. “That’s a very cool name.”

  I nodded but I was so busy trying to seem unaffected by him, I came across as totally affected by him. I started to hate myself a little for it. This guy was used to having this effect on women. And it made him a little too confident that I would drool after him too.

  But I wasn’t about to be one of those girls. He couldn’t just charm me out of my panties. Even his spectacular introduction was laced in cocky arrogance. Like he could just have me, if he wanted me. Well that wasn’t going to happen. Ever. I didn’t care who he was. He’d have to work a little bit harder than that to impress me. But I didn’t want him to. Because this guy was obviously trouble and I had just left a big ol’ bag of trouble back home.

  It was time to let him know.

  “As in Jean Harlow?” he asked.

  I shook my head, looking across at him; it was time to start behaving a little more awesome. Cue the raised brow. Cue the look of disdain.

  “No. As in I’m-not-interested-in-falling-into-bed-with-you,” I said smoothly, like I was some goddess of awesomeness.

  Heath whistled and fell back in his chair with a disarming grin. “Shot down!” He made an explosion gesture with his hands. “You’re a goddamn H-bomb!”

  Damn. I couldn’t help but smile. He smiled back and leaned his elbows on the table.

  I tried not to notice the tattoos crawling over his muscled arms or the way it felt when he looked at me the way he was looking at me.

  “You’re beautiful, has anyone told you that today?”

  I raised my eyebrow. “Does that really work with the girls?”

  He glanced over his shoulder at the girls on the dance floor. “I do alright.”

  Candi and Bambi were all tongues and entwined bodies grinding on the dance floor.

  “Your dinner, no doubt,” I said. “Or are they just for starters, and some other lucky girl is the main?”

  Heaths eyes glittered wickedly. “Maybe you?” he suggested. Not put off by my bitchiness, he said, “I could eat you all night long.”

  I shot him a look, trying not to laugh. ”Did you really just say that to me?” He looked so unapologetic, I gave in and laughed. “Seriously, how do you get in the room with that big head of yours?”

  He smiled and straightened up. “C’mon. Lighten up. I’m just teasing. I came over here to be nice and you were just nasty to me straight away.”

  “Because you came over here to bamboozle me with your charm in an obvious attempt to hit on me.”

  He raised his hands innocently. “Says who?”

  “So now you’re going to tell me you weren’t going to hit on me?”

  He smiled, soft and genuine, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m a lot of things, but I am not a liar.”

  When he smiled I couldn’t help but smile back. Dammit. So much for being awesomely immune to his charms. I’d kind of hoped it was my new super power.

  “You should do that more often.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Smile.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite, why?”

  “Because you are stunningly beautiful.”

  Okay, this guy is good.

  I raised my brow. “Why don’t you just get it over with?”

  “What?’

  “Ask me to sleep with you?”

  “Will you sleep with me?”

  I shook my head. “Not in this lifetime.”

  “Then why make me ask you?”

  “So that you will leave me alone.”

  “And you thought that would work?”


  I shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea in theory.”

  “Well it sucked in practice. I still want to sleep with you.”

  “And I still don’t want to sleep with you.”

  “So we are back to where we started,” he said.

  “I believe it’s called a stalemate.”

  He smiled and his two dimples flickered in his cheeks. “I’m just going to have to try a little harder.”

  I had a distinct feeling Heath had just accepted some kind of challenge.

  Before I could respond, Candi and Bambi fell on his lap and were all over him like mold on cheese. He winked at me and I looked away just as one of the band’s guitarists slid into the chair on the other side of me.

  “Don’t waste your time with this loser babe, everyone knows I’m the real talent in this band.” He winked at me and threw a soggy beer coaster in Heath’s direction. Heath replied by extending a middle finger.

  “I’m Armie.” He smiled and offered me a tattooed hand to shake and I liked him immediately.

  “I’m Harlow.”

  “Careful Armie, she bites,” Heath warned, looking at us from between the two blondes who were fighting for attention on his lap.

  Armie’s brows disappeared under spiky black bangs and he looked at me with a cheeky grin. He hooked his arm around my neck. “Let me get you a drink and you can tell me all about it. Whattaya drinking?”

  I had no idea. “Whatever you are you drinking”

  “Beer?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  When Armie went to the bar I could feel Heath’s eyes on me, despite the two girls cooing on his lap. I glanced sideways and his twinkling eyes met mine. Candi and Bambi were kissing his neck, his jaw, and his ears and running their hands across his chest.

  I looked back down at the table and rocked forward on my arms, forcing back a sudden curiosity to see what was under his Guns N Roses t-shirt. When I looked up the leggy blonde in the black dress and boots who I’d seen earlier by the stage was approaching the table. Her face was pure thunder.